-1AN: Hey, just a little one shot here. Inspired by JT's memorial episode. Very sad but there's always time for some Palex. Hope you like. Thanks in advance to nice reviewers who stroke my ego.
Time Can Never Kill the True Heart
Alex Nunez sighed at her phone. She knew the flippy, plastic communication device was mocking her. It made it so easy to contact people but it felt harder than ever.
Her ex, the girl she was pretty sure she loved, was one click away but getting her thumb to press that button made every self-preservation alarm in her head screech.
Taking a deep breath of the cool night air she finally hit call and pressed the phone to her ear.
Five rings and finally she answered.
"Hey."
This let her know she knew who was calling her. She didn't sound pissed but she didn't sound overjoyed either. It was safe to say that their relationship as friends had been sporadic and occasionally awkward.
"Are you there?" Paige asked. It was time for Alex to actually say something.
"Yeah, sorry. Hey."
"Hi."
"Uh… do you have a few?" she asked.
"Sure. Is everything ok?"
"Not really."
"Is this about the memorial?" Paige asked. Marco had kept her up to date with JT. She hadn't been able to leave Banting for it though, exams she couldn't miss.
"No. Yeah. I don't want to do this on the phone. That's why I came here."
"What?"
"I'm in Kingston. Outside your building actually. Can we talk?"
Paige was silent for a moment and Alex felt her stomach drop.
"Yeah. Come up, room 214." Paige instructed.
Alex hung up then headed inside. It was easy enough to find, especially with Paige waiting at the opened door.
"Hey." she said to the blonde as she stopped at the door.
"Hey." Paige realized they would go on in this awkward greeting for hours if she didn't do something so she ushered Alex inside.
"This is the dorm. My rooms this way." She said as she lead Alex past the living room and down the hall to her room.
As she closed her bedroom door behind them she finally took in Alex's appearance. She was all in black, she looked beautiful but there was obviously something bothering her.
"How did you get here?"
"I borrowed Jay's car."
"Borrowed or 'took without his permission'?" She asked silently hoping it was the latter just to piss off Jay.
"The first. He knew if he didn't give me it I'd hitch here."
"Lex, what's going on?"
Alex swallowed hard at hearing Paige call her that again. "Today, at the memorial, I was thinking about what would happen if I died tomorrow. I wouldn't leave anything behind. I pretty much manage to get through life without ever having to say how I really feel."
She paused to make sure Paige was still listening, the blonde's eyes were locked on her own and she waited for her to continue.
"I don't want to make you uncomfortable or hurt you but I can't go another day without saying this. I love you. I pushed you away and it was stupid and the biggest mistake of my life. I panicked and I'm sorry. I've regretted it every second. I needed you to know that. I'll go now." she said as she stepped closer to the door but Paige still hadn't moved from her position if front of it.
"Your not leaving." Paige told her.
"I didn't come here to ruin your Banting life. I just needed you to know."
"That you love me?"
Alex nodded.
"It's too late to drive back. You can stay here." She saw Alex open her mouth to protest. "No arguments."
Alex nodded silently. Paige had a way of making her feel like a kid who'd just run away in the shop and had to have their parent called to customer services.
Paige ran a hand through her hair as she took the few steps to her bed and sat down.
"I wanted to be there today but I had an exam. I can't believe JT won't be joking around Degrassi or inside the mascot suit."
Alex perched on the opposite side of the bed. "It's weird. The whole place is different, quieter."
"Today, in class, I thought about it too. Just being gone." Paige cleared her throat. "I knew why you broke up with me. I knew why it seemed like the right thing but I never really let it sink in. It never felt like I wasn't yours."
That admission hung heavy in the air.
Alex sprung across the bed and wrapped her arms around Paige, hugging her tightly. At first, Paige was startled, but soon her arms were firmly around the other girls back.
It felt good. Both were warm and safe and it felt ok to be hurting in all the different ways they both were.
When Alex pulled back she found herself stuck, inches from Paige's face. They both knew what was about to happen and they both wanted it but it wasn't that simple.
Before their lips could brush, Alex pulled away. It was very possibly the hardest thing she had ever done. To be that close to kissing the person she loved, to feel her hot breath on her skin and be able to smell her perfume and still pull away was agonizing.
Paige tried to hide her hurt behind her confused look.
"We can't. We're still living different lives. None of that's changed." Alex said trying to regain her composure.
"No, Alex. I'm sick of you saying we have different lives and different futures! We don't. Your getting grades for college, why can't that college be near here? We don't have to be in each others pockets but we can go to separate colleges and still be together."
Paige watched Alex's eyes well up. "It can't be that simple." she said questioning her own words.
The blonde moved closer and cupped Alex's cheek. "It can. It is. We have something real that isn't going away so can we just stop pretending we don't care. We've already wasted too much time."
When Alex claimed her lips in her own, she knew she'd won. All those dreams that had plagued her for months were no where near as mind shattering as this reunion kiss.