Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or New Moon.
I gazed deeply into my lover's glowing topaz eyes. Liquid gold, and all mine.
Edward, in turn, looked intently into my eyes, boring brown, and soon to change. I was finally going to be turned. Tonight, the night of our marriage, our honeymoon, Edward and I would become equals—bonded together forever.
"You know what I'm going to miss most about your humanity?" He asked me, velvet smooth voice rocking me to the core.
"What?" I breathe as he came closer, inhaled and closed his eyes, immersing himself in my scent.
"Your eyes, Bella. I've never seen a shade of brown so rich and beautiful."
I reel as he comes ever closer, showing his brilliant white teeth just before he reaches my neck. It's only then that I feel my decision was selfish. Edward loved my eyes very much, and he would never see them brown again.
I felt Bella's sweet life flowing down my throat, delicious and sinful. I wondered how I had abstained from her blood for so long, being so close to her.
I had made sure to feed every day for the past week, so I wouldn't be hungry when I turned Bella. It would be easier to let her live, and not drink her dry. It was still tempting, to be gluttonous and drink all of her. I resisted, but barely.
Bella, my sweet Bella, lay twitching and crying on the bed. I was vaguely aware of Carlisle beside her. He had been there the whole time, watching to make sure I didn't kill her. I was numb to the world. Seeing her in so much pain, knowing I had caused it, and knowing I could do nothing to assuage the excruciating spasms rotted my old heart.
I thought of how I had tried to convince Bella to grow old with me; she as a mortal, and I as a vampire. She had thought it was because I didn't love her eternities over. She had been wrong, but I did not give her a sufficient answer, and to prove to her that I loved her, I drank her blood. I killed her.
Of course, I couldn't tell her why I really didn't want her to be a vampire. She would be totally disconnected from her human friends, family, and life. She would want to drink them dry, and that would harm her mentally and physically to resist.
...Every time I tell myself that excuse, I feel the lie roiling in my stomach like retched acid. I really want to watch her grow, as I cannot. I want to see her age, and live through her as she does. I want to see a person I love live a full life, a full human life, and know that they are full of promise and potential. I wanted to see Bella truly happy and confidant as a human being. I wanted that for her, because I wanted that for me.
Perhaps that was selfish of me.
A/N: Just came to me, so I wrote it down. A shout out to my Twilight lovin' peeps, I hope you enjoy!