Okay, I know I'm still in the middle of writing another story, but I got the idea for this one today and decided to go with it. The first chapters aren't probably all that funny, but I'll get to more and hopefully they'll get better. Oh! And please don't send me reviews that say "OMG how could you do that to poor Snapey, you bastard!" Actually, Snape is my favorite character in HP. This is all in fun, just lighten up and take my story for what it is.
Professor Snape was in his office. The new school year was going to start in a week and he was busy putting the finishing touches on his lesson plans. He was sure this year Dumbledore was going to give him a big raise. No other teacher in the school challenged the kids like he did. Just then, he heard a knock at the door.
"Excuse me, Severus," said Minerva McGonagall. "Professor Dumbledore would like to see you."
Professor Snape got up and walked to the door. It was just as he had been expecting. Professor Dumbledore must have reviewed his file and decided to give him a raise. Snape walked down the halls and entered Professor Dumbledore's office with a rather smug look on his face.
"Ah, Severus. Do sit down," said Dumbledore motioning to a chair. "I trust you had a good summer."
"Yes, a most productive one. I feel this year's lesson plan is my best yet. I am quite looking forward to the school year," said Snape.
"Well, I'm quite pleased you're so dedicated to your studies, Severus. That will come in handy for you."
"I suppose it will. As a professor, dedication is vital."
"The thing about that is... well... you will not be returning as a professor this year."
"WHAT?!?!" shouted Professor Snape as he rose to his feet.
"Well, I was just reviewing your file. Actually, I was looking into giving you a raise. But I've instead found that you are not qualified to teach."
"Not qualified? If I may speak freely, Dumbledore, I am more than qualified for this position and all positions that have been... denied to me in the past."
"Actually, Professor. Though you are a teacher here, we have no record of your completion of school."
"That's preposterous!" said Professor Snape, who was looking livid by this time. "You were here. You know I completed my school years, might I add with more N.E.W.T.s than most of my peers."
"It doesn't really matter what I say, Severus. No record is no record. Unless you go back and make up the years of school you missed, I'm afraid we'll have to let you go."
"How do you expect me to do that?" said Snape, fuming.
"Well, I've taken the liberty of enrolling you as a student this year," said Dumbledore.
"You expect ME to be a STUDENT? This is ludicrous! I am not putting in another seven years here."
"Actually, since this is a rather rare situation, we've decided to let you make up all your required classes in one year. We pulled a lot of strings to get you this, Severus. Either you go to Hogwarts this year as a student or I'm afraid you will not return at all."
Professor Snape looked about ready to burst, but he composed himself and told Dumbledore that as much as he was against this idea, he agreed to enroll as a student if it meant he could keep his job.
"Well, Severus. You will get your job back next year, but since you will be busy enough with your own classes, you will not be a Potions teacher this year, but you will get your job back next year if you've completed your education," said Dumbledore.
"Who will be taking over my class?" he asked.
"Well, believe it or not, Peeves is excellent with potions. He will fill in for you this year."
"I absolutely forbid Peeves to enter my classroom, much less teach in it."
"I'm afraid you have no choice in the matter, Severus. Now I suggest you head to Diagon Alley and pick up your school supplies."