Title: At Night

Title: At Night
Author: 4Kennedy
Fandom: Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles
Pairing: Cameron/Sarah
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Sarah returns a favour.
Disclaimer: I unfortunatelly don't own them, they belong to FOX television and Warner Brothers.
Notes: You can read this story as a standalone, but it's supposed to be kind of a reply story to fembuck's "A helping hand" series like those reply videos you can post at youtube. If you haven't read it so far you definitely should.
Thank you to my wonderful beta gsr-rocks

Part I

It was in the middle of the night when Sarah suddenly woke up and found herself sitting upright in her bed. The sheets tangled at her feet in a big heap, papers scattered all around her.

The bedside lamp was still switched on because Sarah had been falling asleep reading some background check-ups of several suspects, which John had collected for her on the internet. She couldn't even recall the last time she went to bed properly, instead of passing out because of exhaustion. This life, the mission and everything connected to it were taking its toll on her.

Her heart was pounding rapidly in her chest and she felt disoriented. Sarah fumbled for the gun under her pillow; the feeling of the cold metal instantly reassured her as soon as her fingers brushed over it. She tried to remember what had woken her up. It wasn't one of her usual nightmares, it was something completely different.

The images were fleeting by in no particular order and every time she wanted to focus on the whole situation or even a single face, it was all just a big blur. It was frustrating. Sarah could sense that those pictures wanted to tell her something. Maybe her subconscious had picked up a clue, a new lead of the Turk, of Skynet. She could feel that it was important somehow. More seconds passed and the dream was slipping further and further away from her.

So instead of trying to grab the scene or one of the images, Sarah shifted her concentration on the state of her body in which the dream had left her in, which was just as intriguing.

It wasn't horror and it wasn't fear.

That was something really unusual and it only happened rarely. Most of the time she dreamt about John getting killed, the rising of the machines and the earth on fire. Those images weren't only dreams, but rather a highly possible future. However, this dream had led her into a completely different direction.

Her body still felt tingly and flushed, she could feel her tank top sticking to her sweaty skin. Sarah was aroused and the urge to fuck someone was almost unbearable. The dream had been so real and good that her body had been fooled easily and it still hummed with a burning need.

Sarah snorted annoyed and wiped away some of the sweat on her forehead.

Well, there was always the possibility of masturbation, but that wasn't what she truly wanted right now. Sarah longed to be close, intimate with someone else. She wanted to touch and explore and be touched and explored in return.

What she really needed was to completely let go of everything and to stop worrying for awhile. The burden she was carrying was so heavy; it would be good to lift it sometimes.
But whom could she trust enough?

The brunette scrubbed her fingers across her eyes and swung her feet out of bed. Thinking about those things in the middle of the night didn't make them any better and it surely didn't make it easier for her to find some rest.

It took Sarah several minutes to get her breathing at least a little bit under control, the arousal still coursing through her body wildly. Sensual glimpses were drifting on the edge of her mind, teasing her relentless.

With her heartbeat hammering like that, she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep anyways and so she decided to go to the kitchen and grab something ice cold to drink. Maybe this would help and cool her down somewhat.

When Sarah entered the living room, she was still totally engrossed in her thoughts, trying to figure out of whom she had been dreaming. Not that it really mattered, because thinking of sex whilst the whole world was at stake didn't seem very appropriate. But still she was curious; it would be interesting to remember though.

Besides, the tension that was constantly building up inside of her could definitely use an orgasmic release. It had been quite a while since the last time.

At first she didn't notice Cameron standing in front of the window, looking outside, probably searching for any sign of potential danger. As soon as Sarah spotted her, she stopped dead in her tracks, hesitating. She didn't really know what to say to the girl as conversations with the terminator always had the tendency to get odd quickly.

"Hey," was all Sarah said in a voice that sounded hoarse and feeble.

"Hello, Sarah," Cameron responded indifferent, acknowledging her presence and nothing more. The terminator only looked briefly over her shoulder in her direction, before returning her attention back to the street. It disturbed Sarah more than she would admit it. Cameron's behaviour was strange, as if she was mad at her and wanted to avoid her.

Was it possible that she had actually hurt Cameron by her previous actions and words? Had she pushed her away one time too often? Or was she herself oversensitive and interpreting too much into the terminator's attitude?

"Nothing good on TV tonight?" Sarah asked, lacking an idea of something clever or insightful to say. It was a poor attempt to make small talk, she knew that. Anything was better as the silence of the night and Cameron staring blankly out of the window, ignoring her completely. Usually Sarah felt calm and relaxed when it was quiet and dark outside, her home a safe haven with Cameron watching over them. But tonight it made her feel tense and edgy.

"I wasn't in the mood," replied the terminator and didn't even bother to look at her this time, her features unwavering.

A tiny knife stabbed Sarah's heart. This small and insignificant statement wouldn't mean much if it hadn't been Cameron who made it. She wanted her to know that yes, even she, a machine built to kill and destroy, had moods and that she could pay more attention to that.

Or was it just a phrase Cameron had picked up somewhere? It never was easy to tell for sure with the terminator, as her face was a blank sheet most of the time and you had to look very closely to see the small variations of her facial expressions. They could be fake or real. Another thing Sarah wasn't able to tell, but sometimes it looked very genuine and she forgot briefly that the girl was a machine.

"Right…" Sarah stood there for a couple of seconds, trying to think of something else to say. "I just wanted something to drink." She was at a total loss for words. "Sorry for the disturbance." And she certainly wasn't prepared for a moody terminator and she had absolutely no idea how she should handle it.

Out of nowhere Cameron turned around, gazing at her with her head tilted curiously to the side. The sudden movement made Sarah jump a little. Cameron was scanning her, reading her biochemical signals and it made Sarah self-aware and even more agitated. She could imagine what her signals would tell the girl and so she looked away, embarrassed. Sarah was glad that it was practically dark in the living room, as only the street lamps illuminated it a little. Even though the terminator needed no light to see Sarah's condition, at least it gave her the fake impression that she could hide it in the dark.

"Are you troubled? Do you want me to hug you?" Cameron asked, not moving, simply looking at her. Cameron gazed at her intensely, examining her face and the rest of her body like a rare piece of art. It made Sarah feel slightly uncomfortable and special at the same time. She shifted nervously from one foot to another. The unexpected change of the girl's behaviour irritated her.

A part of Sarah whished that Cameron would come over to her and wrap her in her strong arms without asking for permission. Without having a real choice or making a decision, it would be easier to accept the intimate contact. Every time they touched she enjoyed it a little bit more, even if she knew she shouldn't tolerate it. The problem was that she couldn't restrain herself, because as soon as night has fallen over them, Sarah let her guard down. She was vulnerable and only Cameron was allowed to see it.

Sarah knew it was her own fault that Cameron didn't just hug her like all those many times during the last couple of weeks. She had told Cameron that she couldn't grab her whenever she thought she might possibly be upset and so Cameron had kept her distance.

It actually stung a little that now the terminator didn't even try to get near her and touch her. Maybe Cameron had only offered to hug her out of politeness without being really interested in comforting her.

All those thoughts, conflicting emotions and the confusion were tearing on her nerves.

"No. I don't need a hug," Sarah answered, her words harsher than intended. She noticed that Cameron actually looked slightly disappointed and she couldn't help feeling sorry for her. "But thanks for offering. I'm fine. Really." Sarah was far away from being fine, but it wasn't a hug her body craved right now. She wanted so much more. There was no possibility for being one hundred percent sure that she could keep herself back from letting evolve a hug into something else. It was too dangerous, too tempting.

"Your heart rate is 120 bpm. The normal heart rate is up to 100 bpm and as you were sleeping your heart rate should be even a lot lower," Cameron stated in a monotone, analyzing voice and returned looking out of the window. Sarah could feel her cheeks flushing in an ever darker shade of red. Her heat rate wasn't probably the only bioelectric signal Cameron had checked.

At this moment Sarah hated it that she was so easy to see through for the terminator. It was intimidating and she handled it the usual way, with an irritated outburst.

"Not if you have a fucking nightmare, but what do you know about that, Tin Miss? You don't sleep, so you don't dream. You're a damn robot! How could you possibly understand?" Sarah told her in a bitter tone, her face hard and then she flounced out of the room into the kitchen, the flight instinct getting the upper hand, leaving a confused blinking Cameron behind, who watched her leaving the living room.

Sarah was relieved when she arrived at the kitchen, the anger subsiding as fast as it had risen. Her outburst was only a protective mechanism. She kept herself busy by getting a glass out of one of the top cupboards, filling it with water and ice cubes, drinking in big gulps, constantly trying not to think about Cameron.

It was a pretty helpless case. It didn't take her long until her thoughts were travelling back to the terminator on its own accord.

Things were changing between them. The more time Sarah spent with the girl the more it changed the way how she was looking at the terminator. The fact that Cameron was a machine inside a beautiful girl has taken a back seat in the meantime and the emotions Cameron was capable of feeling and showing intrigued Sarah.

But they didn't only interest her. It also frightened Sarah because she slowly began to see more than just the machine in her and it changed her attitude towards the girl. It was wrong, dangerous and stupid to trust Cameron blindly. Still, she did and she was also starting to think about her in a way she definitely shouldn't.

Sarah shook her head in order to clear her mind, the amorous pictures of her dream flashing through her mind briefly. Naked bodies twisted around each other, flushed skin, the air glimmering with moans and the smell of sex.

"Fuck", she muttered as a shudder run through her body and a shaky breath escaped her lips.

What was the matter with her? How could she allow herself to have thoughts like that about Cameron? And where the hell was this all coming from in the first place? One second she couldn't say who it has been in her dream and the next one she was automatically transferring it to Cameron.

I'm just lonely, Sarah told herself after. I'm just very, very lonely and those feelings don't have anything do to with Cameron in particular.

With that she decided to go back to bed, crawl under the covers and shut it all out. She would plainly suppress every upcoming feeling or physical reaction. No problem.

Tomorrow, after some more hours of sleep, she would most likely laugh about her ridiculous thoughts and she would use Cameron only for a little comfort, accepting a hug now and then, when she had had a terrible day and it wouldn't mean anything at all. Peace of cake.

However, when Sarah re-entered the living room, she couldn't resist taking a swift side glance at Cameron. A mistake, because when she saw the girl still standing by the window, head down and shoulders hanging, she couldn't ignore her and simply go back to her room.

Again Sarah stopped and watched Cameron for a few moments, weighing her options. She sighed acquiescently and ran a hand through her hair. Even though she was sure that Cameron knew that she was there, the terminator showed no sign that she had noticed Sarah's return. The impulse to ignore Cameron, to not care and just go to bed was getting stronger. It would be an easy solution, for now. At some point she would have to deal with the terminator and apart from that, Cameron's depressed posture touched her.

"Dammit", Sarah said barely audible and noticed that she was already walking towards Cameron without making the conscious decision to do so. She was drawn to the girl. Sarah couldn't find the strength to withstand; she was worn out and tired of fighting an urge that only could be suppressed for a while but would never disappear completely.

Perhaps it was about time that she gave Cameron something back and with that thought Sarah wrapped her arms around Cameron's waist from behind, making the final step so that her body was pressed against the terminator's firm back.

Sarah didn't dare to breathe. Every muscle in her tensed and nervousness vibrated through her in prickling waves as she was waiting for the girl's reaction.

She was actually hugging Cameron. The whole concept seemed to be quite unfeasible.

After some endless seconds, the terminator finally responded. It looked as if the former stiffness of Cameron's body was vanishing; she was leaning back, relaxing and melting into Sarah.

Sarah breathed a sigh of relief and with some more self-confidence she tightened her hold on the girl, laying her head on Cameron's shoulder and pressing her hands flat on her stomach.

"You're hugging me," stated the terminator unnecessarily, but Sarah noticed the slightly questioning undertone. Cameron probably was as surprised as she was.

"Yeah, I am," Sarah confirmed, pulling her even closer to prove that she was truly there and that she didn't plan to let go soon unless she would want her to. If not proving it to Cameron then at least to herself.

"Why?" Cameron asked, brushing her fingertips over Sarah's hands on her belly as if to make sure that she was real.

"Well, I guess, I just want to return the favour," Sarah answered, shrugging. It wasn't the whole truth and it wasn't a lie either. It was one of many factors that had led to this situation.

"I don't understand," admitted the terminator, turning her face somewhat towards her. It made Sarah's stomach drop and she had to swallow, heat rising inside of her. Cameron's lips were only a few centimetres away, full and glossy.

"Neither do I… not really." Sarah struggled for her self-control and when their eyes met, she could feel her restraint crumble more and more. "You looked like you could use some comforting."

Cameron nodded, accepting the explanation and turned her head away from her, watching the street once more. Sarah tried not to be disappointed.

"I'm not programmed to need a person or a thing that brings ease," Cameron finally responded after some consideration. Except for the steady rhythm of her breathing, the terminator didn't move and kept looking outside with an inexpressive gaze.

"Maybe you're programmed to and you're just not aware of it," Sarah pointed out hopefully, secretly wishing that it was true. "Like a hidden subroutine." It had to be this way, because otherwise there was no point in hugging Cameron at all and it would mean that it was only her wishful imagination. A lame excuse of her mind to touch the girl.

"It's a possibility. I'm different." Cameron admitted and explained further. "I'm programmed to learn and to recognize the full spectrum of human emotions."

"So…" Sarah begun cautiously but didn't know how to phrase the question properly, afraid of the answer she might get. Meanwhile, she absent-mindedly stroked the small piece of bare skin between Cameron's top and shorts with her thumb. It was incredibly soft.

"The word 'so' indicates that you wanted to say something. Please go ahead," Cameron encouraged her, tilting her a little bit to side as if she could hear her better this way, exposing her neck to Sarah in the process.

This isn't fair, Sarah thought as her eyes roamed along the slender and very inviting looking neck of the terminator. Stay focused.

"So…" she started again. "… Does this mean that when you recognize an emotion, you categorize it and then you imitate it when you think it might be the appropriate reaction?" It was hard to ask this without any hint of judgement in her voice. She didn't want to know if the small emotional reactions she had seen on Cameron's face were feign and that she only used them to blend in. Inwardly Sarah braced herself for the reply.

"No," was the simple answer of the terminator which made Sarah sigh in frustration and relief simultaneously.

"Care to explain?" Sarah asked in a sarcastic tone, watching Cameron's reflection in the window.

The terminator's eyes lost focus for several seconds, deciding how to answer the question. "I observe people and how they show their feelings. I'm learning what they mean, but I don't imitate them. When I smile, it's because I feel like smiling… but I'm never certain if it is the appropriate reaction so I hold back or don't react at all." A shy smile was tugging at the corners of Cameron's lips and Sarah returned it automatically.

The confession made Sarah hug the girl even closer, she squeezed her tightly to show her what this meant to her without having to speak out loudly.

"Thank you for explaining," Sarah whispered, because she didn't trust her voice to be steady enough. It was intended to be funny, but she said the words with sincerity.

"You're welcome," retorted Cameron inevitably, turning her head curtly to make eye-contact with Sarah and then returning once again, facing the window.

They stayed this way for a very long time. The silence that settled upon them was no longer unnerving and anxious.

Even though the original thought was to comfort Cameron, it was Sarah who was soothed by the contact, the warmth of the girl's body reassuring and the consistent rubbing of her thumb lulling her.

After a while Sarah decided to pick-up their conversation again. She needed something to distract her from all those erotic ascendancies flooding her senses. Her body might have calmed down somewhat, but the desire was still there.

"I'm sorry that I was so bitchy earlier," Sarah admitted soft-spoken. It took her a lot of effort not to turn her head and nuzzle the terminator's neck. Cameron smelled so inviting.

This was bittersweet torture and Sarah decided that it was okay to enjoy it a little bit longer.

To be continued…

AN: this was originally planned as a one-shot, but I just can't make it short... not only in fanfictions. I think the story could be finished with the last sentence, I could live with that. I moved this week and it's totally stressful at work, but if you can wait a little bit and if you want more, you'll get more )