A/N (IMPORTANT)
So this story is going to be about Peeta hijacking and his recovery, which will differ from the books. However their will be a lot of dialog which is much similar to the books. I felt so heart broken when Peeta was hijacked and Katniss was so angry towards him, so I wrote it with Katniss more honest, Peetas hijacking recovery will also be different and hella proactive. I was so devastated that i re wrote it haha. Enjoy.
DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN OR CLAIM ANY RIGHTS TO THE HUNGER GAMES TRILOGY.
CHAPTER ONE
I wish I could meet with Peeta privately. But the audience of doctors has assembled behind the one-way glass, clipboards ready, pens poised. When Haymitch gives me the OK in my earpiece, I slowly open the door.
Those blue eyes lock on me instantly. He's got three restraints on each arm, and a tube that can dispense a knockout drug just in case he loses control. He doesn't fight to free himself, thought, only observes me with the wary look of someone who still hasn't ruled out that he's i the presence of a mutt. I walk over until I'm standing about a meter of the bed. There's nothing to do with my arms so I just leave them limp beside me. Then I speak. "Hey."
"Hey." He responds. It's like his voice, almost his voice, except there's something new in it. An edge of suspicion and reproach.
"Haymitch said you wanted to talk to me." I say.
"Look at you for starters." it's like he is waiting for me to transform into a hybrid drooling wolf right before his eyes. He stares so long I find myself casting glances at the one-way glass, hoping for some directions from Haymitch, but my earpiece stays silent.
"Your not very big, are you? Or particularly pretty."
I know he's been through hell and back and yet somehow the observation rubs me the wrong way. "Well you've looked better."
Haymitchs' advice is too back off gets muffled by Peetas laughter. "And not remotely nice. To say that to me after all I've been through."
So much is built up within me, I don't mean too, but I just break and snap. "What do you want me to say?" I say raising my voice. "I don't know how I am suppose to act or what to say. This isn't what was suppose to happen." I pause with my hands smothering my face.
"And what was suppose to happen?" he asks curiously in a suspicious tone.
"I don't know!" I'm yelling now. "Hold each other. Kiss each other, tell each other it was okay now, because I finally had you back. Feel a little better sleeping, every night I wake up screaming from nightmares and your voice is the only thing that gives me peace Peeta!" I realize I'm crying now. "But it's all ruined. Because of me! It was always me! That's why snow took you. To break me." I scream.
Peeta scoffs, "I must of loved you a lot."
"You did," and my voices catches again, so I try to disguise it with a cough.
Peeta look around, trying to figure out the situation and understand what's real and what isn't. "What about Gale?" he finally says.
"I don't know." I reply shortly. I don't know why i am saying this. It isn't anybody's business behind the glass. I am confused, but I know I have love for Peeta. And I do for Gale too, it just doesn't feel the same.
Peeta laughs again, less coldly this time. "Well you let me know when you figure it out." he says, half sarcastically.
Haymitch doesn't protest when I walk. Down the hall. Through the beehive of compartments. Find a warm pipe to hide behind in a laundry room. It doesn't take me a long time before I get to the bottom of why I am so upset. When I do, it's almost too sad to admit. All those months of taking it for granted that Peeta and I thought I was wonderful are over. Finally he sees me for who I really am. Violent, distrustful, manipulative, deadly.
And I hate myself for it.