The Disclaimer: I don't own 'Chuck' or 'Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman'! No profit is being made, no latinum has exchanged hands... y'all know the drill!
A/N: The story takes place between the first and second season of 'Chuck'. Several of the LnC fic writers have chosen to have Perry White die since Lane Smith passed away in 2005 and a couple have made Clark E in C of the Daily Planet so the notions are not original to me. As for the rest, I like figuring out ways to mash favorite shows together. Plus the usual non-canon and probably A/U stuff too.
the story:
The Wienerliscious
Chuck Bartowski wiped his mouth clean on another napkin. Sarah Walker, ass kicking CIA agent, could do many awesome things including skewering an evil alarm clock from across the room. But when it came to turning out edible hot dogs for a fast food establishment... fortunately the Wienerliscious kept a decent supply of mustard on hand, even relish, and she had improved.
" So this is the last week for the Wienerliscious isn't it? "
Sarah took a sip of her soda and gazed questioningly at her Asset. " Yeah... why? "
" I've heard rumors that the Sarah Walker fanboy club are thinking of picketing the new place. Of course they haven't seen the new uniform yet... "
Sarah cocked an eyebrow at him. " The Sarah Walker fanboy club, Chuck? The teenage pervs who keep posting pics of me in this uni on the internet? That fan club... Chuck? "
Chuck gulped He realized he was dealing with Lethal Sarah and she was at DEFCON 1. " Uh huh! "
" Those little creeps have been a pain for the CIA to find the pics and delete them. Sarah Walker can't afford to have an internet fan club! " Sarah shook her head. " And don't think that I'm not aware that you have the entire collection buried on your hard drive... "
Chuck gazed at her with bug eyed astonishment. " H- how? "
Sarah smirked at her 'cover' boyfriend. " I'm Sarah Walker... "
" … and you can do anything, " Chuck finished. It seemed that Lethal Sarah had left the room, at least temporarily.
Who knew that out of the many things he'd said to his CIA handler over the past few months, those were the words she'd locked onto her memory banks to drag into as many conversations as possible. Hell, the Nerd Herd and many if not most of the Green Shirts could now finish that particular phrase.
Sarah sipped on her soda. " And don't you forget it. "
" Y' know you sound very smug about that. " Chuck glanced at his watch. " Crap! My break is about over... "
" hhhmmm... "
Chuck clambered out of the chair, hoped for a moment that the new Orange Orange Fro Yo shop would have more comfortable seating, and carried his tray of fast food detritus to the waste bin receptacle. There was a newspaper laid on top a stack of empty trays and Chuck noticed it was the West Coast edition of the Daily Planet. He knew that Casey liked Clark Kent's editorials, so Chuck snagged the paper and tucked it under an arm.
He turned to find Sarah standing at the table with an expectant air. Her head was tilted in what Chuck was beginning to recognize as a particular signal. " There is no one around... do we really need to practice on the cover? "
A slight frown marked her brow, and her shoulders slumped. " I still don't have girl cooties Chuck. What if Lou or someone were walking by?
" I don't... you... Lou... you're gonna bring Lou into this? " Chuck protested. He stuck his hands in his pants pockets, and his face took on a truculent look.
Sarah Walker went very still and waited. Chuck sighed.
They'd had several discussions about his reluctance to engage in PDA with a woman he honestly felt was so far out of his league. Jeff, Lester, Big Mike... Morgan... even Casey knew this on some masculine level. However the notion had been growing in the recesses of Chuck's brain that Sarah didn't see things the same way, which was inexplicable...
" She would probably be expecting me to give my girlfriend of several months a see you later smooch? "
It's not like he really had a problem with giving his 'cover' girlfriend a kiss. After all, she was the most beautiful woman he knew and he wasn't the only one to think so... He just wished his hormones wouldn't insist on going into full freak out mode at the notion.
And he knew Sarah had good reasons to push him out of his non PDA comfort zone. He still struggled with selling the believability of their 'cover' relationship to his friends and family. It probably had a lot to do with the whole deer in headlights expression he got when they did manage a good bye or good night kiss.
Chuck shuffled over and leaned towards the lethal and gorgeous CIA agent, his mouth slightly puckered. The slightest of smiles warmed the arctic blue eyes as Sarah grabbed his tie and hauled him to her mouth for a light and brief kiss.
" See ya after work Chuck! " She straightened the tie and brushed his shaggy hair back out of his face. As usual, there was some mysterious expression on Sarah's face that Chuck wished he could define. He knew how Ellie saw it...
" Later Sarah... " Chuck ambled towards the door. He pulled the newspaper from his armpit as he hit the door and glance down at it. An above the fold photo of Hobbs Bay caught his attention.
He froze mid stride as an extremely dense and powerful Intersect flash hit him.
" Chuck? " Sarah's finely honed agent senses went on full alert.
" Yeah I flashed... " Chuck considered the implications of the information that had been dumped into his conscious mind. " Some Chechen terrorists are planning to set off a dirty bomb in Hobbs Bay... "
" Where is Hobbs Bay? "
Chuck waved the newspaper. " In Metropolis. "
" Metropolis? As in East Coast Metropolis? " Sarah frowned.
" Yeah... not Metropolis Illinois... " Chuck had fished his cell phone out of his pocket and punched in a phone number he recalled from the flash. As it connected on the other end, he shoved the phone against his ear, ignoring the questioning look of his handler.
" Lois Kent! " a warmly vibrant voice spoke into his ear.
" Ah... you're Lois Lane? " Chuck's voice squeaked.
" Yes... that's still my working name but I am, and prefer, Lois Kent, " the voice drawled. " And you are? "
" Chuck! " Chuck suffered another massive flash and damned near dropped the phone as the implications hit him. " Oh crap! Mrs. Superman... "
" What did you just say? " Again Chuck felt a noticeable drop in the room temperature based solely on the timbre and quality of a woman's voice.
" N-n-n-nothing! " he glanced over to see an unhappy looking Sarah Walker. Double crap!
" Okay Chuck... why have you called and how did you get this number? " Lois Kent asked and there was a very guarded tone to her voice.
" I... I... I called because I just got intel that some Chechen terrorists are planning to detonate a dirty bomb there in Metropolis on a ship in Hobbs Bay and I need to get word to your husband so that he can take care of it before... "
" Chuck! " Lois snapped, breaking through his nervous babble.
" My husband is the Editor In Chief of the Daily Planet... why don't you call Homeland Security or the Metropolis PD... "
" Please... I know that you are friends of Superman so if you could just... I don't know... yell... or scream... and have him check the ships out... "
" Superman is a very busy man, Chuck. And I should believe you why? " Lois asked.
" I'm with the government? " A quick peek showed Chuck that Sarah's temper was nearing DEFCON 1 or Threat Level Red again.
" That's not helping your case any, " Lois said scathingly. " I do recall what President Reagan's said... that the most scarey words in the English language, We're from the government... "
" … and we're here to help, " Chuck finished. " I can't tell you how I know this information but I do. This is not a prank! Do you really want to be guilty... "
" Alright Chuck, " Lois said with exaggerated patience. " I'll pass the word along to both Superman, and my husband. If it's not good intel I have your phone number here and Superman has ways of … "
" Fine! Fine! " Chuck hit the end button and cut Lois Lane off in mid threat.
" Chuck... "
Oh this was not good! Lethal Sarah had returned, icy and very, very calm... except for the blazing blue eyes. " What? "
" Down stairs Chuck... Now! "
The Castle
" He what? " General Beckman snarled. She glared outraged disbelief at the Intersect.
" General, Chuck flashed on some intel he felt he needed to act promptly on... " Sarah repeated. She stood next to Chuck before the main Castle monitor; arms crossed, face blank and eyes level.
Chuck thought he might develop a bit of frost bite on the side of his body nearest Sarah. " General... "
" Be silent Mr. Bartowski, " General Beckman snarled.
Chuck gulped audibly and chose silence as the better part of staying alive or until Casey finally showed up. Chuck quailed inwardly as he considered the things Casey might say or do; or both.
General Beckman continued with her snarling diatribe. " Mr. Bartowski is an asset and an amateur one at best and it is not his place... "
His cell phone rang and based on the looks of the two women, Chuck wanted to discorporate, badly. It didn't matter that Valentine Michael Smith was a fictional character that Chuck had read about back in his high school days. Chuck desperately wanted to track Smith down and have him teach him how to discorporate... ah... disincorporate?
" Mr. Bartowski, " General Beckman warned. The lines on her face had become fixed in a dark and ferocious scowl .
Chuck hastily dug the phone from his pocket and recognized the phone number.
" Chuck... " Sarah had a 'this is not a good time to answer the damned phone' sound to her voice.
He ignored the looks and answered the damned phone. " Y-y-yes? "
" Thank you Chuck! " The masculine voice was deep and authoritative. " I'm not really sure just how you did it, but you saved a lot of people in my city today and I've very grateful. I'll be speaking with your General Beckman... "
" Yes Sir! " How did he know about...
" Call me Superman, " Superman said with a warm chuckle.
" Thanks Superman, " Chuck answered with his bright Bartowski grin.
The phone signal went dead. Chuck found himself on the receiving end to two very interesting expressions. General Beckman appeared to be on the verge of some sort of mental and or emotional melt down. Sarah looked... stunned.
" That was Superman? " she asked.
Chuck nodded sheepishly and shrugged.
" Wow! "
" We will speak further on this egregious breech of protocol later Mr. Bartowski! " The General hit the cut off toggle on her keyboard and the monitor went to black.
As the NSA logo sailed majestically onto the screen, Casey barreled into the room. He screeched to a disappointed halt when he neglected to find the Moron's broken and bleeding body lying on the floor. Literally would have been outstanding, however figuratively would have been acceptable; maybe not as satisfying...
" Well? What did I miss? "
Sarah's expression had turned to one of intense pride in her Asset. " Chuck being the hero as usual... "
The sound Casey made was an interesting mixture of growl and gagging.
The Buy More
" Are we on for tonight? " Sarah asked as she pulled her hair back into a pony tail. She had just left the Wienerliscious for the day and had dropped by to confirm plans for yet another 'cover' date at Casa Bartowski. She chose to ignore how the various Green Shirts watched her every move in their typical creepy manner...
" Yep! Unfortunately Ellie and Devon got called in for the evening shift so it'll be just the two of us... unless you'd like me to call Morgan and Anna and … "
" Just the two of us is fine... "
The diminutive bearded one popped into view. " Did you say something Chuck? "
Chuck sighed. " No Morgan... "
" hhhmmm... Something seemed to have set off my buddy radar... "
" It was probably a false alarm Morgan... "
Morgan nodded sagely. " Fine! Hey Sarah! Did you know you had a fan club? Anyway... I think Anna needs me in the break room! Girl friend radar... "
As his bearded friend rushed off, a horrible notion hit Chuck. " Lock the door! "
Morgan waved as he vanished from sight.
" And don't forget to sterilize... " Chuck grimaced and caught a very subtle sigh of relief from the beautiful CIA agent. " I think his radar is broken. "
" hhhmmm... "
" So, are we cooking in tonight if we are on our own, or should we order something, watch a DVD? Is there anything in particular you'd like to see? "
" We could try cooking, " Sarah said thoughtfully. " It's good cover practice, working together and all... "
" Okay then... " Chuck glanced up to see a man and woman enter the Buy More. He flashed as he recognized them. " Wow! "
Having seen Chuck's flash, Sarah carefully glanced over her shoulder, prepared for any and every threat.
A tall, handsome man in a dark, moderately cut suit and a loud tie was walking along with a vibrant and stunning woman in a conservative yet very feminine business suit. Both were dark haired and dark eyed, and appeared to be in their early to mid forties. And both wore open and pleasant smiles that brightened considerably as they approached the Nerd Herd desk.
The stranger stuck his hand out. " You are Chuck Bartowski? "
Chuck nodded as he shook the proffered hand. " And you are Clark Kent? "
" Yes I am, " Clark Kent returned. " Allow me to introduce my better half, Lois Lane-Kent... "
" Lois is fine, " his wife said with a friendly smile.
Chuck indicated Sarah. " This is my girl friend Sarah Walker. "
" Pleased to meet you, " both Kent's chorused.
" Thank you, " Sarah replied, and shook their hands.
" Your boyfriend is quite the hero, Miss Walker, " Clark said.
" So I understand, and please call me Sarah, Mr. Kent... "
" It's just Clark. " He glanced about the moderately busy store. " Ah... is there some where we could go and talk? I think it's rather important. "
" I'm done for the day, " Sarah volunteered. " I know Chuck's off in a couple hours... "
Chuck glanced at his watch. " The apartment is empty so why don't we head over there now. I can get Jeff and Lester to cover for me... "
" That will work, " Clark said with a gracious smile. " We came in a taxi... do either of you have transportation? "
" We can drive, " Sarah replied.
" Excellent!"
Chuck got Lester and Jeff to cover the rest of his shift as he had a work order to fix a computer for the Kent's. Clark chimed in with it was a special request to help close the deal. After the typical kvetching, Lester generously allowed Chuck to leave. Chuck quickly logged off the store computer system.
" I'll take Lois in the Porsche, " Sarah offered with a cheeky grin. " You and Clark can take the Nerd Herder! "
The stunning CIA agent strolled off with the gorgeous force of nature investigative journalist. Sarah threw a saucy smile back at Chuck as they headed out the sliding doors. Chuck and Clark followed along.
" A Nerd Herder? " Clark asked.
It's a Toyota Matrix, kinda the company car that the Nerd Herd uses for making off site visits, " Chuck replied.
" Bartowski! "
Chuck paused and turned to face his NSA team mate. Casey marched up, and Chuck judged that the Casey Threat Level was rapidly approaching the red zone. Casey was never happy with being left out of the timely intel loop. His Beast Master Grill sales had been off lately as well.
" What's going on? "
" Casey... this is Clark Kent. He and his wife are joining Sarah 'n' I at the apartment so there will be no need for surveillance, alright Casey? "
Casey grunted skeptically. " That's not your decision to make Moron. "
" Fine, then I'll let Sarah make the call! Clark... this is John Casey, a co-worker, " Chuck introduced his companion to the surly Major.
" Pleased to meet you Casey... "
Casey frowned. " Clark Kent? Editor in Chief of the Daily Planet? "
" You've heard of me? " Clark seemed unaffected by the glowering and growling attitude of the big man.
Casey nodded. " You ran a pretty good series of editorials on the Marines a while back... thanks. "
" A warm and friendly individual, " Clark said with quiet good humor as Casey turned abruptly and stalked away.
" Welcome to my world, " Chuck replied. " I think Casey's in fat kid mode at the moment. He doesn't like being left out of the loop. "
They both glanced up to see a black Porsche roar out of the parking lot.
Clark glanced at Chuck, a twinkle in his brown eyes. " I could just fly you there... "
The Apartment
Sarah was laughing in response to something Lois had said as they walked into Casa Bartowski. The laughter died a sudden death as she saw Chuck and Clark seated in the living room. Both men saluted the ladies with beer bottles and smug smirks.
" How in the hell... " Sarah growled as she paused just inside the front door.
" If I told you I'd... " Chuck began.
Sarah took a menacing step forward, only to find that Lois was holding her back. " Do you really think it a good idea to finish that remark? "
Chuck shook his head with an odd smile on his face that was equal parts terror and plea for forgiveness.
Clark stood up with a sheepish grin. He rather looked like a boy who'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. " It's my fault, Sarah. I couldn't resist the challenge... "
" Resist harder next time dear, " Lois said with a wifely look at her husband. Clark sighed and nodded.
Chuck clambered to his feet and chose to play host rather than say anything that might further enrage his CIA handler. " Would you like something to drink? There's more beer in the 'frig' and I think Ellie has a decent wine in there too... "
" A beer is fine, Chuck! " Lois walked over to her husband and gently shoulder bumped him.
Sarah took a deep breath and visibly relaxed. " A beer for me too Chuck! "
Chuck placed his bottle on the coffee table and headed for the kitchen area. Clark and Lois sat down on the couch and Sarah in the matching club chair. When Chuck walked back into the room carrying the beer bottles, he handed them off to the ladies, then chose to sit on an ottoman at Sarah's feet.
" I want to thank you again for the timely intel, " Clark said, breaking the uncomfortable silence that had fallen between them. " You saved a lot of people in Metropolis last week. "
Chuck shrugged uncomfortably.
" How did you know? " Lois asked, her brown eyes bright with a direct curiosity.
Again Chuck shrugged. " I... I can't tell you just how I knew... I just ran across the intel... "
Lois frowned. " From California? No one in Metropolis had any clue... "
" Chuck is a special sort of analyst working for the government, " Sarah said. " We are really treading on need to know areas covered by all sorts of... "
" I know that both the CIA and the NSA are involved, " Clark said. " And I don't want to get anyone in trouble. I know how Diane Beckman is... Chuck? Do you trust Sarah? "
Chuck nodded without hesitation. " Yeah, with my life! "
" That's good enough for me. " Clark placed his beer bottle on the coffee table, stood and stepped into the middle of the room where he had some space. He spun and within moments, Superman stood there.
" Oh wow! " There was a breathy tone to Sarah's voice as she took in the familiar and heroic red and blue. She seemed to realize that her hand was shaking and set her own bottle down before she dropped it or spilled the contents.
He spun again and Clark Kent sat back down beside his wife.
" I've seen him do that more times than I can count and it still gives me goosebumps, " Lois said quietly.
Chuck glanced at his CIA handler. " He... they need to know Sarah... "
Sarah considered his words. " Why Chuck? "
" You know how I hate lying to people and well... he is Superman. Will you trust me? "
Sarah took a deep breath and simply nodded her head.
" Thanks. " Chuck turned his attention to the Kents. " After 9/11 a joint CIA and NSA task force gathered all of the American government secret information together, put it into subliminal images and created a neural computer program. The intel and program are in my head. It's called the Intersect.
" Casey is NSA and Sarah is CIA and they are my handlers. They've been keeping me safe, especially when we go out on the occasional mission... Sarah's cover is my girlfriend so she has a reason to stay close to me... "
" hhhmmm... " Lois hummed as she gazed at both Chuck and Sarah.
After a quick and puzzled look at Lois, Chuck continued. " I have these 'flashes' of intel and the neural computer connects the dots so to speak, and that's how I knew both about the bomb and the Chechens. The reason I'm explaining this is that some where in all the vast amounts of data is enough info that allowed the Intersect to figure out that Clark Kent is Superman.
" I don't think anyone particular person knows or would be able to figure it out. We can't do it, but maybe Superman and his friends can track some of the intel down and have it deleted, that way if anyone else were to get their hands on the Intersect intel and program, they can't figure it out in a 'flash'... "
" I think it's my turn to say wow, " Lois murmured. " You're no more the average nerd than Clark is a farm boy... "
Chuck gave her a shy smile. " Thanks. "
" And now? " Sarah asked.
" As far as I'm concerned the only people who need to know what and that we know are here in this room, " Clark responded quietly. " Well... you may end up needing to tell Casey as lying to a partner or a team mate can be a very bad thing... "
Both Sarah and Lois winced at that comment.
" I've got a friend at Wayne Industries who can look into the intel and get it deleted, if anyone can. Thanks Chuck. " Clark picked his beer up and took a long swallow.
" A neural computer that uses subliminal imaging and what not for storage sounds like something Bruce would love, " Lois said. She glanced at her watch. " I'm getting hungry. What sort of plans do you have for the evening? "
" We were planning on a quiet night and cooking something, " Sarah said.
" You could join us if you'd like, or do you need to be getting back to Metropolis any time soon? " Chuck asked.
" The kids are at their Uncle Jimmy and Aunt Lucy's for the evening so there's no rush to get home, " Clark said after a quick and silent communication with his wife. " How 'bout we join you for supper. Do you cook Chuck? "
" Some... my sister Ellie is actually the cook in the house but she's at work tonight... she's a doctor... "
" Ah! Well Lois knows just enough to be dangerous, so we could let the ladies get to know each other better while we prep the supper... "
" Martha is a great cook and Clark has learned well, " Lois interjected. " How does that sound Sarah? "
" That works for me, " Sarah answered. A soft smile warmed her face as she looked at her Asset. " Up and at 'em Chuck! "
Chuck looked back and flashed her his best Bartowski grin as he clambered off the ottoman. He ambled into the kitchen and after opening the refrigerator, hauled out a pair of beer bottles. He handed one to Clark who smiled his thanks.
" Welcome to the club Chuck, " Clark murmured.
" The club? "
" The superhero club... "
the end
