Moments of Family Love
At the Hospital
Cora sat silently at her darling daughter's side and held her hand. She brushed away a stray bit of hair from Mary's face. Her baby boy started to cry as he woke in his crib. Cora went to her grandson and picked him up. Her heart broke at his tiny cries, as she rocked him back to sleep. She knew his mother would have done it if she could, but Mary was up to doing nothing at the moment. Mary didn't say anything as she watched her mother interact with her son. Cora didn't insist that Mary should be the one to do this and for that she was grateful. She couldn't face it. Not yet.
Doctor's Advice
It had been three days since George had entered her world and therefore three since Matthew… Since Matthew had left it. For the past two days Mary had hardly spoken a word to anybody, nor had she cried. She was just numb. She had left the care of her son to her mother and the nurses. It wasn't that she was neglecting George as such; he stayed with her in her room. It was the nurses who took charge of feeding and changing him. Cora had assisted in bathing him, in the hope that it might entice Mary to join in, it didn't, but nobody made a fuss.
Cora did voice her concern that Mary might have difficulty in bonding with George to Dr. Clarkson. She voice this, when she thought Mary was sleeping. He replied
"Lady Grantham, Lady Mary has experienced both childbirth and bereavement on the same day, both of which are major life changing events. Please give her time to grieve in her way."
Mary lay there quietly and she was grateful to the Doctor for telling her mother to be patient, because she would only start to fuss.
It wasn't until the fifth day that Mary felt ready to hold her son again. When he started to cry in the corner of the room, the nurse went automatically to get him, but Mary got there first. She cradled him close to her chest. The nurse left quietly, leaving Mary to quieten George, until he whimpered quietly. Tears thickening her voice she said
"Sssshh, my beautiful darling, it's just you and me now. It will be alright."
Hearing his mother's voice, he drifted off to sleep and snuggled closer into Mary.
When Cora entered her room after breakfast, like she had everyday before, she was met by the truly beautiful sight of Mary gently holding her son looking adoringly at him like any new mother. She made her way to the bed and place a kiss into Mary's hair and put a comforting around her shoulder. Her other hand traced the tiny features of George's perfect face. Mary said quietly
"He's beautiful mama. I can't believe he is mine. At least…" she trailed off
"At least what my darling?"
"At least I will always have a part of Matthew with me"
"Yes you will… always my darling" Cora responded wiping the tears from Mary's face with the back of her had, ignoring her own.
"Why did he leave us mama? Why has he left us here alone? It's not fair! We were happy. Am I so bad, I am not allowed to be happy?
Her tears were falling thick and fast now, but she really didn't care.
"Oh Mary, you will never be alone, your father and I will always be here for the two of you…"
Mary cut in
"But why did he have to leave?"
"I don't know. Sometimes God let's bad things happen to good people. You my darling have been dealt with the worst."
"I'm not good or nice" she argued.
"You loved Matthew whole heartedly, more than anything in the world and if that is not a good thing, then I don't know what is."
"Thank you mama" Mary answered as she yawned.
It was mid morning when Robert arrived at the hospital to find Cora sat on the bed watching a sleeping Mary and George and still holding her daughter's hand. He kissed his wife gently on the cheek. He looked tired, but the tearstained faces of his wife and daughter, made him raise his eyebrow to query after them both.
"We had a good talk. She cried herself to sleep, she was exhausted. I don't think she has slept properly at all. She thought she would have to go through this all alone"
"My poor dear girl" he said as he ran a fatherly hand down her cheek.
"And George?" he indicated to the slumbering infant resting peacefully in his mother's arms.
"The nurse said that she took him herself, when he woke up. She was still holding him when I arrived and hasn't let go since. She wouldn't let me put him down, when she started to fall asleep and insisted he stay with her."
Cora and Robert stayed at the hospital until Mary work several hours later, putting their own grief on hold for the time being to support their daughter, for they refused to make her think that she would be alone, even for a minute. They would be there when she needed them and would help her tell their treasured grandson all about the wonderful man that was his father and how they too, loved them like their own.
Sibling Love
The day of Matthew's funeral approached-Mary and George had only been discharged the day before from hospital. She sat in the nursery, watching George sleeping peacefully in his cradle, envying the fact that he could. She also envied his innocent ignorance of what was about to happen.
Tom knocked lightly on the door saying
"it's time."
She stood up from the rocking chair and smoothed down her skirt, out of habit, before bending over to run her hand over George's soft hair and placed a sweet kiss on his cheek.
"I will back soon my darling."
People had expected her to take the baby with her to the funeral, but she had decided that she didn't want her baby's last memory of his father to be the one of him being out into the ground in a box, for that would be what it was. She wanted him to remember Matthew as the proud, happy, loving father who had held him ever so gently in the hospital. Deep down, she knew it would sound silly, as he was only 7 days old, but that didn't matter. Tom offered her his arm and they made their way slowly down the stairs.
The short car ride to the church and the service itself was all a hazy blur to Mary. She didn't even notice how many of the villagers had come to the church, the same villagers who had witnessed their wedding not even two years prior.
At the cemetery, her knees buckled and she felt an arm around her waist hold her tightly before she fell. She didn't notice who it was until she smelt the familiar lavender scented perfume and realised it was Edith. They may not have always got on, but at that moment Mary was grateful that she had her sister by her side, when she needed her most. Edith also made sure that she would be there for her sister, even if Mary didn't verbalise that she needed help.
Later in the day, Mary was again grateful to Edith and to Tom, who tried their best to make sure that when Mary needed time alone when they got back to the house, they reassured well-wishers they would pass on their condolences to her and that she was just resting.
I'm here
When everybody had left hours later, Violet was concerned that she had not seen Mary for a while. Rather than ask a servant as to where she was, she went in search of her granddaughter herself. She found her in the nursery 'Of course' she thought 'where else would she be?'
Mary looked up at the disturbance but didn't say anything, her attention was focussed again on her son who shifted slightly, in her arms, at the noise and she readjusted his blanket to keep him warm. Violet sat opposite her granddaughter and said
"Everybody has gone now my dear. Your mother wants to know if you are coming down for dinner."
Mary nodded to acknowledge that everybody had gone, but didn't answer about dinner. She couldn't eat, all she wanted to do was sit here quietly and watch her son sleep. Violet sensed this and said as she placed a hand on George's head
"He's such a good baby."
"Yes, I think he will take after Matthew"
Violet noticed the tears run down Mary's face as she tried to discreetly wipe them away
"Let them fall my dear, you don't need to hide them in front of me, we will all miss him terribly. He was good for this family"
Violet meant this sincerely despite her not particularly understanding Matthew in the beginning.
"I'm here for you my dear whenever you need me, I will be here."
She nodded "Thank you Granny" and for the next hour and half they sat there in silence, just enjoying watching George, both engrossed in his presence and Mary was grateful to have her grandmother there with her
They are family not servants
All of the servants had been nothing but respectful since Matthew's death, he had been popular with them all because of his friendly smile and wanting to help less privileged people than himself. Mary was aware of how popular her husband was downstairs even if she didn't outwardly acknowledge it.
However there were two people she was particularly grateful to have in her life and had thanked them for their support: Carson for keeping a close eye on her when she thought she wasn't aware, like he had always done. (Her parents were also grateful for this, because they know that their daughter was a favourite of Carson's). Mary was also grateful for how he had taken it upon himself to ensure that nanny Theresa was providing George with everything he needed, much to nanny's chagrin.
Mary was also grateful to Anna, who would disobey orders from her parents when they said she was resting, to bring George to her when he would cry for his mother, despite again nanny's protests, but even she gave in eventually relent and would make sure that her charge was wrapped up warm before he left the nursery. It was times like this when Mary realised that the two weren't servants, they too were family.
Stay Please
Carson went in search of Lady Mary; Mrs. Crawley had come unexpectedly to say that she wanted to give something to her. When he told her that he hadn't seen her, she gave him the item before excusing herself saying that she would pop into the nursery to say hello to George. She didn't want to speak to Mary, but she did express that it was important that Mary received the letter. Carson just smiled at her gently, they hadn't seen her since Mr. Matthew's funeral three days previously and he understood that spending time with her only grandchild could bring her comfort at least for a while.
He went in search of Lady Mary, when he almost knocked over Edith
"I do apologise milady."
"That's quite alright Carson, can I help you with something?"
"I was looking for Lady Mary, but can't seem to find her"
"She's in the library, I've just come from there"
"Thank you, milady"
Carson and Edith went their separate ways, Edith for a walk in the garden, Carson to the library. He rapped gently on the door and waited for permission to enter. He heard Marys slightly mumbled response before he opened the door. He found her sat on the settee looking down at some photographs. They were ones of her and Mr. Matthew on their wedding day and some others of the two of them, when they had formally announced their engagement. She looked up at him and said
"I was looking for a photograph of Matthew to put in George's room, but I can't decide which one."
"May I milady" Carson indicated to the settee
"Of course Carson." She smiled slightly, which warmed Carson inside
He sat down and rummaged carefully through the photograph's until he found what he was looking for. It was a picture of Matthew, by himself in his Captain's uniform.
"How about this one milady?"
"It's perfect. Thank you Carson. He always did look handsome in his uniform, even if…" she paused before continuing
"Even if it wasn't my place to think so"
"Milady, please don't think me rude for saying so, but during the war I saw the way Mr. Matthew would watch you when he thought nobody was looking and I knew he was as much in love with you then, as you were with him despite your attachments with Sir. Richard and Miss. Swire"
Mary appreciated his honesty and thanked him as she got up to go to her son's nursery.
"Milady, before you go, there is something else I need to tell you"
"What is it?"
"Mrs. Crawley came by and asked me to give you this."
He handed her the item, which turned out to be a letter, she took it into her delicate hand from his much larger one.
"When was this? Why didn't she stay? Why didn't she speak to me?"
"About forty minutes ago. She didn't want to stay, but she did say she was going to say hello to Master George before she left though"
"Thank you Carson" she said distractedly as she opened the letter to read the contents. He left the room so she could read the letter in private. The contents of the letter said:
My dearest Mary, please don't think me as impertinent for writing what I need to say to you rather than saying it face to face. I know that of all people on this Earth, you are the only other person who misses him as much as I do. This is not a letter of farewell, because farewells are a permanent thing. It is more a letter of good bye. I can't stay here, there are too many memories for me to stay. I have decided to go back to Manchester. My friend Julia has kindly offered me a place to stay until I find something more permanent. The truth is, I only moved to Yorkshire to support my darling boy and now that has been taken away. Your parents will look after you and George, but as I said earlier this is a letter of good bye and not farewell, so I expect the two of you to come and visit and visit often. Take care my dear, I am so glad that you and Matthew found each other. It gives me some peace to know that my boy left us at his happiest and that is because of you, he loved you so completely. I thank you for that. I also want to let you know that you have become more than my daughter-in-law, you are more like the daughter I never had.
With love and the very best of wishes.
Isobel. x
Mary wiped the tears from her eyes that she hadn't noticed were falling and made up her mind.
Taking the photograph of Matthew, she left the library and made her way up to her baby's room. She paused at the door, when she heard the soft voice of her mother-in-law saying
"I will miss you my dear boy, you are too young to understand now, but I have written a letter to your mother telling her everything. She can tell you when you are older."
Mary pushed the door open and Isobel jumped and tried to get out of the chair, to which Mary indicated for to not get up
"Oh my dear, I'm sorry, I only meant to stay for a few minutes but I'm afraid that I got too caught up with this beautiful little one. He really is a treasure."
"Then stay please"
"You've read my letter then" as she noticed the hand written note in Mary's hand
"I have and you have to stay. I want you to and so does George"
"My dear, he is ten days old and is none the wiser"
"Maybe, but he hasn't settled like that in anybody else's arms apart from mine"
"Well you are his mother" she argued
"And you are his grandmother and he needs you" Mary said just as stubbornly before continuing "I need you. I need you to help me tell George all about what Matthew was like. Nobody can do it like you. You are his mother. I know we didn't always get on when we first met, but since Matthew and I got engaged you have been nothing but supportive and gave your blessings to our wishes and I am so grateful for that. Matthew loved you completely."
By this point both women were in tears and George seemed to sense something was wrong, so he thought he would rectify this and as he woke he let out a high pitched cry as though he wanted to add his opinion too.
"See, George agrees with me too"
Both women let out sad chuckles as they watched the baby settle down again.
"I don't know Mary"
"Matthew would want it. He has wanted it since during the war, when we became friends again, I went to see him off at the train station after the concert we gave to raise money. He asked me to look after you if anything was to happen to him when he was in France and I don't think now is any different" Mary said as she ran a hand over Matthew's picture. She walked over to the chest of drawers and put the photograph there, so George would know what his father looked like.
She turned back to Isobel and said "well"
"If you insist, I shall telephone Julia and thank her for her kind offer and say that I have decided to stay her with my family."
Mary crouched down in front of the two of them and focussed her attention on the baby saying
"Do you hear that George, Granny Bel is going to stay"
"Granny Bel, I like that, but I don't think your grandmother will"
"Granny dislikes anything modern"
The two sat quietly for a bit before Mary said
"I was thinking of taking George out into the garden before it gets too cold, would you like to join us"
"I would love to my dear" and with that Isobel handed George back to his mother and they left the room feeling slightly better for having that conversation.
Over time, it became a bit of a habit for the two women to take George out into the garden, sometimes Cora would join them, but most of the time it was just the three of them and they relished every minute of it.