He could remember the day he'd been put in here, twelve years ago to the day, the day he had lost everything. The images in his head, the flashes of scary pictures and delusions that made him distrust everyone, had gotten worse and soon it hadn't just been images. The images turned into entire scenarios only he could see, voices only he could hear. It had felt normal at first: he'd truly believed everything that he'd seen and heard.

A nurse came up to him, she was a pretty young woman with long blonde hair and blue eyes, she looked so much like her that he nearly tripped over himself to get out if his chair and step back, "Stay away from me!" He shouted in a mixture of confusion and fear- she hadn't come to see him in six years... or was it six? Every day was exactly the same in here now, the only thing that changed were the images, the voices... They told him new things every day. For example right now he had this irritating voice in his ear that sounded just like the woman he'd loved, the woman he'd lost, whispering in his ear that this wasn't a nurse- she was here to kill him, after all he'd been a spy for years... And the CIA didn't just let their agents walk away.

"But why now?" He muttered as he examined the room, looking for possible exits. His heart was racing and his head was pounding. "Stay away from me!"

"Please Mr.-" The nurse began.

"No! Stay away from me!" he shouted as he backed away until his back was against the wall.

"I'm not going to hurt you." The nurse told him but he didn't believe her- he knew better than to trust anyone. However, before he could move another muscle, he felt a needle jam into his arm and everything began to get fuzzy before going black.

The first thing he noticed when he awoke was that he couldn't move his arms, which normally wouldn't bother him but the noise in his head was getting worse and he was starting to panic- he knew what they'd did... He was in confinement and in a straight jacket so he wouldn't hurt himself. "Let me out!" He screamed at the walls, the walls which now held code only he understood, he was in danger.. He needed out, "Please, I have to save the.."

The words caught in his throat as he realized the situation, he couldn't do anything.. The realization made his legs feel like jelly and he collapsed to the floor, a sob escaping his throat as he gave in to the overwhelming feeling of hopelessness.

He sat there, sweat starting to drip off his forehead as he struggled to his feet. His dark hair was shoulder length now and stuck to him tightly as he shook his head, trying to clear out the memories he had left- Morgan, Awesome, Ellie, Casey, her... "No, don't think about it, you're fine, you can do this.."

The door opened before he could finish reassuring himself and a redhead woman entered the room. "Mr.." She paused to look at his file.

"What?" He asked, he hated hearing his name as it reminded him of what he'd lost, who he'd been before all this.. Before his brain had betrayed him and he'd been locked in this godforsaken place and forgotten about. He knew that his friends, his family, everyone that he'd ever cared about had moved on and forgotten the former C.I.A agent. The former computer repairman clenched his teeth in anger, he'd given everything for them, for the C.I.A and what had they done? They'd locked him up instead of trying to help him, they had abandoned him and let this stupid computer eat away at him until he couldn't tell what was real and what was flashes from the computer in his head.

"We're going to let you out of solitary confiment." She said, "I'm your new doctor- Call me Sarah."

That got his attention, he looked up at her with a hopeful expression- had she come to save him? The one person who, no matter how hard he tried, wouldn't get out of his head. "No, you're not Sarah... You're not.."

"No." She agreed, "I am not that Sarah." She studied him for a moment, her hazel eyes seeming to look straight through him, "Are you ready to cooperate?" she asked curiously, "We'll happily release you back into your real cell if you'll cooperate."

"Fine, whatever." He said with a tone of brokenness it that only twelve years of being locked away could create.

"Very well, If you'll stand up I'll release you from your straight jacket."

He struggled to his feet, not a easy task when your arms are bound, and waited to be released from the jacket.

Now back in the rec room he collapsed in one of the chairs beside the window and sighed, the light in his eyes had gone out a long time ago, hope had left him about the same time he realized he was never really getting out of this place, this hellhole. The man that had once been Chuck Bartowski let his gaze fall to the window and the outside world.

Across the street, hidden in plain sight, sat a blonde woman wearing a black shirt, brown leather jacket, blue jeans, and sunglasses that hid her face. Her blonde hair was shoulder length and her face was locked in a frown. If her eyes had been visible tears would be seen forming, blurring her vision was she watched the window of the building like she did every time she was in between missions.

She heard someone slid onto the bench beside her and grunt. "Nice to see you too Casey." She said dryly though her words were hollow and they both knew she hadn't been happy to see anyone since that day.

"I want you on my team." The older man said and slid her a file, "I hear you've become who you used to be?"

"And who's that?" She asked, turning her attention to him for a moment.

The NSA agent paused for a moment and before grunting again, "Cold."

"What's the NSA want with a CIA agent?" She asked, ignoring his comment.

"The NSA doesn't want anything." Casey told her, "I'm putting a team together for a mission, global security- you know the drill."

"Fine."

"I miss him too." He admitted to the blonde woman before, with a final grunt of goodbye, walking away.

She watched him leave and allowed herself a small smile; who knew John Casey could actually admit he had feelings? Taking a deep breath she stood up and moved to follow him and, as with every year, Sarah Walker promised to find a way to help Chuck, but with every year it seemed just a little more impossible. "Goodbye Chuck." She muttered before following after Casey.

Note: So here's my first attempt at a Chuck fic, an experiment of sorts. I might write a few others, depending on how this is reviewed. So feel free to leave questions, comments, concerns, anything at all and if I get some good reviews I might write another fic in this fandom, maybe something less depressing! Anyway, I don't own Chuck or anything else in this fic.