Frenemy, a misc. books fanfic

Author's note: this is a poem I wrote about Anorexia, when you don't know whether Ana is your friend, or your enemy. For those who don't know, Ana is the "nickname" anorexic girls give to the disease. And 'thinspo' is short for 'thinspiration', (:

Frenemy

Everyday is the same torture.

She makes me do things I would never do.

I mean, I count calories and skip meals.

And what's the deal?

I don't know wether to eat or die,

I don't know wether to laugh or cry,

I don't know if she wants me to live or die.

I don't know if she's making me fine.

I don't know if she's my friend, or my enemy.

She's a frenemy.

I spend whole days without eating,

But feeling weak, and feeling the hunger,

Are things that make me feel stronger.

All I want is to be thin, really thin and slim.

I don't care to spend the whole day in the gym.

As long as I've lost 3 pounds by the end of the day.

And I don't eat for whole days,

Just so I can be skinny, skinny and lovely.

She turned me into a scale slave.

She's slowly taking me down to the grave.

And I don't seem to care,

As long as I'm thin enough to walk in the air.

I'm starving for perfection.

Starving to be like the girls in my thinspo pics collection.

I know I'm not fat, I'm your average-weight girl.

But average is never enough,

I want bones, I want bones. Beautiful bones.

And I lie to my mom, to my friends, to everyone.

I say I ate a lot, I say that I'm not hungry.

But my mom is starting to see through my lies.

Because she can see Ana in my eyes.

Ana tells me that everything will be fine someday,

Ana tells me not to care about lying, she says it's the only way.

And I know with her help I'll be perfect someday,

Ana tells me I'm not dying, who knows if she isn't lying?

And Ana is my frenemy.

She's my friend, cause she's the only one who can help me get to perfection.

She helps me starve for perfection.