When Pigs Fly
Fan Girl squeals
by
Numanife ( Kat ) and Colleen Sotac ( Nul )
A/N ( Kyra ) Inspirised by XxAkatsuki RaversxX by kindalkiddwashere READ HER SHTUFF ITS THE SHLIT!!!! :D Oh YESH ~!
A/N ( Colleen ) Pants.... Did you know Hidan where's a bra?
I sat in my room and pulled out my official Akatsuki handbook, after pulling on my awesome black with red clouds pj's and putting on my KICK ASS Tobi mask of course! It's a normal day at my house, one of my sisters, Raina, is watching the Polar Express and the other, Theresa, is using Raina's cell phone because her's is dead. I pushed a strand of my oddly cut brown hair behind my ear and went to chapter fifteen, about Zetzu's split personality. I was just about to settle into my Akatsuki snuggie when I heard a loud thump and an explosion outside. I rushed to the window, still wearing Tobi's mask, and gasped. That.... That's.....
I nearly fainted when I saw Kisame Hoshigaki and Itachi Uchiha outside my window. I roughly grabbed my red cell phone and called my friend Colleen. Sure she's grounded, but I need tell her about this. She picked up and I spoke fast.
"Colleen, Kisame and Itachi are OUTSIDE MY WINDOW!!" I fan girl squealed quietly and I heard a click. My eyes widened and the next thing I knew there was a slam of my door. Colleen smiled,
"I'M HOME!" She ran to the window and peeked out and nearly fell out the window. Itachi looked up then nudged Kisame and pointed. My head perched as I heard Kisame call,
"Tobi, what are you doing, get down here!" Colleen cracked up on the floor then pulled out a switch blade,
"DIE BITCH!" She yelled and jumped down out the window to stab the almost seven foot tall fish man.
Kisame caught her hand and pushed her off and looked up, "Come on Tobi! We don't have all day!"
This was my turn to laugh. I cracked up so hard I fell OUT the window~! My ipod started blasting date rape as Itachi pulled me up by my wrist. I quickly dropped back down and laughed some more. Colleen laughed with me, still attempting to stab fish sticks.
Itachi looked slightly confused, Kisame tried not to laugh, and another crash sounded. I turned my head to see Hidan and Kakuzu. Colleen and I looked at each other, squealed as loud as we could, and I tackled Hidan as she tackled Kakuzu. I clung to him as he tried to pry me off, "Jashin dammit LET GO!"
Kakuzu stared for a moment, then tried to use his tentacle to get her off with no prevail. She laughed maniacally as Kakuzu clenched his teeth and continued to try to tear her away. Hidan, on the other hand, was slightly blushing and pushing me with all his might as I nearly crushed his hot ribs. Suddenly, we were sucked into a black dimension hole so I held on tighter and yelled, "WHEEEEE!"
"GET THE FUCK OFF ME BITCH!!!!" Hidan gasped for sweet air. Kakuzu got used to Colleen's forceful clinging after she gave him a buck. Kisame and Itachi were majorly confused. We continued to twirl in a circular motion as Colleen and Hidan cursed all over the place and demanded to know what was going on.
---
We landed on our butts and I got up and yelled, "LET'S DO IT AGAIN!!!" Hidan gasped in the loving air he loved (didn't need, just loved). "Colleen, I think we're in the Akatsuki base!"
Colleen smirked to test it out and said very loudly, "When Pigs Fly" Sure enough, a small piggy with soft white wings fluttered by, leaving Colleen to laugh like a maniac. We knuckle punched in victory and I ran as fast as I could into a room and dragged out a hot black and white male named Zetzu. Colleen screeched and pulled a random sword out of no where and chased up to him. He dodged, completely lost in the confusion. I, on the other hand, chased the pig, tackled it, and embraced it roughly, "I shall name you squishy and you shall be mine! You shall be my squishy!" I evilly laughed as loud as I could and Squishy got to scared that he pissed on the floor.
"What's going on?" I heard a booming voice demand behind me. I gulped and sudden dramatic music played as lightning flashed and random thunder sounded. Kisame and Hidan gulped loudly and Kakuzu and Itachi stood up straight. Zetzu stopped mid-jump and Colleen stopped for a moment, then evilly pulled out a large magnet. Where she got this stuff, I don't know, but it's handy! She went over to Pein and held the magnet out and his face attracted to it. His eyelids dropped,
"Oh HaHa very funny.... MEETING,RIGHT NOW!" He yelled, making our hair randomly stick out like a tornado hit us. Well, well, aren't we cranky? I smiled at my thoughts as I watched the Akatsuki fill in Pein's large meeting room. Well, This will be fun!
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0.0 Colleen's P.O.V. 0.0
We sat at the dinner with the Akatsuki. Since Pein couldn't get rid of us, because I like pain and where I am Kyra is (normally, or the other way around depending), he let us join. Our flying bacon named squishy looks yummy.... I smiled. Anywho, Pein sat at the front of the table and I sat at the back. He wanted to stay as far away from me as possible. Well, so did Kisame, but too bad! Pein rose his glass and stood up.
"A toast" SPLAT! I threw a piece of toast at his face. It stayed there for a few seconds before sliding down onto the table. Butter dripped off his face, which started to turn red.
"Um..." I started, looking at a very happy Kyra, who was in the middle of a laughing fit, "I think he popped a vein" She laughed harder and fell off the side of her chair. Sadly enough, everyone else in the Akatsuki was laughing, too, well, exept Konan because she a depressing little dyke. Pardon my french.
I ran away because I thought he was going to explode, BOOM!!! I randomly picked up a tree and put it beside me. Suddenly, Kisame came flying out the window and landed smack dad in the middle of the tree. I made myself sound emotionless and said, "Oh, look, a tree. How convenient" Everything was blown up, everything including everyone, everyone including Kyra.
"SHIT! COLLEEN! YOUR PAYING FOR THIS SHIRT!!" She screeched. I blocked her out. Hm, I should have a flashback... didlootdidleootdidleatdidleot! "COLLEEN, DO YOU HEAR ME!!" I laughed when I thought of a flashback...
"COLLEEN YOUR PAYING FOR THIS!!" Kyra yelled as she held onto her Zetzu poster that I so kindly ripped to shreds. I laughed and she stood up and yelled out some words that a normal person wouldn't understand, but I did. She whipped a wrench at my head, that I dodged and pulled out a crowbar, Raven, and chased her around with it.
Good times... Good times.
0.0 Kyra's P.O.V. 0.0
After Itachi tried to single-handedly calm me down, I grabbed him by his wrist and whispered in an evil tone, one you would hear from someone who kicks puppies and evilly stalks people (I don't kick puppies) "Listen here, you damned Uchiha, I know everything about you, right down to when your going to die, so I would refrain from touching me or your death will come sooner" I calmly pushed him away as he stood completely horrified. Colleen laughed at my foul temper. "Kyra, I bet your evil glare could take down the Hindenburg!"
"I'd put money on that," Kakuzu muttered and Colleen tackled him once more.
"Kaku-kun!" Kakuzu twitched slightly.
"Haha, Kakuzu has a fan girl" Hidan laughed.
"Shut up" Kakuzu spat. I pouted and pulled out a chocolate bar.
"Make you mother fucker son of a bitch!" Hidan and Colleen said in unison. I laughed. "What the hell's so funny?!" I laughed harder. "What in fucking hell IS SO FUNNY?!" I was on the floor by now. "Would you SHUT YOUR FUCKING FUCKER MOUTH YOU STUPID MOTHER FUCKING FUCKER BITCH!" I couldn't stop laughing. Hidan and Colleen are so alike it's scary.
Colleen stopped and stared at Hidan, poked his chest, and said, "shirt"