Duel Of Chocolate



Schuldich and Nagi apparently hadn't moved all day, Brad noticed as he walked past the kitchen. He stopped, he had been going in and out of the house all day, and Schuldich and Nagi hadn't stopped glaring at each other from opposite sides of the new table all day. He sighed.

"Ok, I give up. What the hell are you two doing?" He asked.
"Schuldich won't admit that Twix is superior to Snickers." Nagi said, not turning his gaze.
"That's because Snickers kicks Twix's ass." Schuldich said. Brad blinked.
".... ... Milkyway is better than both of them." He said. The both turned to glare at him simultaneously.
"MILKYWAY IS INFERIOR TO BOTH!" Nagi declared. Brad sweatdropped, cursing himself for getting involved.
"... JAH!" Schuldich exclaimed.
"... Schuldich, a Milkyway is just a Snickers without the peanuts..." Brad blinked.
"Snickers is superior. And you are WRONG, Crawford. They are *NOTHING* alike." Schuldich said.
"... Right. You're right, Schuldich. Now, I'm going to go... away." Brad said, backing slowly to the door of the apartment.
"YOU CAN'T LEAVE! We must settle this!!" Nagi exclaimed.
"... .. Nagi, how many candybars have you had today?" Brad asked.
"... .... Lemme think... two and one third boxes, with ten Twixes in each..." Nagi calculated. Brad twitched.
"Nevermind. I have a meeting that I never told either of you about with an employer that you did not know about and it's in a country you have never heard of and I won't be back until the 31st of February. Ta." Brad said, bolting for the door.
".. Brad, even I know there's no 31st of February. ... Plus, it's November." Schuldich blinked. Brad cursed under his breath, he had obviously under-estimated the intelligence of Schuldich and Nagi on sugar highs.
"Now, there's only one way to settle this..." Nagi said.
".. And that would be how?" Brad asked.
"FIGHT TO THE DEATH!" Nagi cackled evilly. Schuldich joined in with his "Hi! I'm a rabid-squirrel on CRACK." laugh. (A/N: ... ... you know the ep where Farfie shoots Ouka? And Schu's firing insanely like an idiot? You know how he laughs? Jah, that.)
"... I'm quite certain there are plenty of other ways. Like letting me... ... get the hell out of here." Brad twitched.
"No, Bradley, you're staying with us. You dare insult the power of SNICKERS. So you must stay." Schuldich death glared. Brad twitched some more. I am NEVER asking what the hell they're doing ever again. He thought to himself. The then noticed that Schuldich and Nagi were moving the furniture in the living room.
"Hey!" Brad exclaimed irritably, not liking things to be out of place. Schuldich responded by throwing a Snickers bar at Crawford, which hit him in the head.
Brad realized Snickers bars are much harder than it seems they ought to be. "... .. I should have seen that coming.." He mumbled, rubbing the spot where the candy bar had connected with his head.
"Admit the feriorness of Snickers!" Schuldich commanded.
"... Ferior isn't a word..." Brad blinked. Schuldich glared at him again. "... I mean.. of course. Of course it is. Snickers bars are ultimately ferior." Brad sweatdropped.
"THEY ARE NOT!" Nagi exclaimed, causing a lamp to spontaneously combust. Brad blinked, realizing just how entirely impossible this situation was.
"... Snickers.. and Twix.. are more ferior than Milkyways.. and thus... I have no reason to be here." Brad stated nervously. Why hadn't he foreseen this?
"NO!!! YOU MUST STAY! TO DETERMINE THE WINNER!" Nagi and Schuldich exclaimed. Brad blinked.
".. Won't the winner be the person who's alive...?" He asked. Schuldich and Nagi glared at him again, and he shut up.
Schuldich got out an insanely large box of Snickers, and started throwing them at Nagi. Nagi responded by crushing the candybars in mid-air with his powers, and sending unwrapped Twix bars at Schuldich. Brad ducked as a Snickers flew over his head.
"... .... You two are going to pick this up..." He mumbled, seeking refuge behind the couch when Nagi and Schuldich responded by throwing candy bars at him.
"Or.. maybe not." Brad blinked, and pushed his glasses up his nose. He was pretty glad he wore glasses, as they acted as protection against falling peanuts and chocolate crumbs. However, he was not enjoying witnessing the destruction of the living room. He scrambled out of the way as Schuldich jumped on the couch, making it flip-over. Schuldich crashed to the floor and was attacked by what seemed like hundreds of Twixes.
"GAH! MERCY! MERCY!" Schuldich cried, grabbing one of the couch cushions and using it to shield his head.
"HA-HA! I WIN!" Nagi exclaimed. He glanced at Crawford. ".. Yes, yes you won." Brad said obediantly, attempting not to wring Nagi's neck right then and there.
Schuldich stood up, and glared at Nagi. "You might have won this time, but you will NOT win the war! SNICKERS SHALL PREVAIL!" He cackled, before jumping over the up-turned furniture and running out of the apartment.
At about that time, Farfello walked in. Nagi eyed him suspiciously.
"Farfello... what is the ultimate candy bar?" He asked, glaring at Farf. Farf rolled his eye as if the answer was obvious.
"Milkyway Dark, of course. Because dark chocolate hurts God." He replied. The TV blew up at Nagi death glared at him.
Brad twitched and fled from the apartment before Nagi could stop him. Nagi's shriek could be heard throughout the entire building.
"I CHALLENGE THEE TO A DUEL!"

*********************




A/N:

Verie: Sometimes, I scare myself. .. Poor Braddie. Oh well, when Nagi's sugar high wears off he'll probably force him to clean up anyway. .... .. Milkyways rock. ^_^; ... Nagi blew up the T.V.. that's just uncool, Nags. ~glares at Shinigami/Nagi~ I'm not paying for that. I REFUSE. .. Ok, now that I've successfully confused everyone further... I was just innocently procrastinating doing my English (I have to draw a rainbow. Why? Because it has to do with this stupid poem I was forced to write. I want to burn it. Because I'm horrible at poetry. Last year I managed to get by with lymerics about how much I hate writing poetry, but I doubt Ms. Slayton will be as amused as Mrs. Musquez was ~sigh~), and going through my files, when I magically found this, which I wrote awhile ago. ... When I last bought a box of candy bars, to be exact (I just bought an identical box yesterday. It's a sign. .. For what, I have no idea. Since I'm not allowed to eat any of my new box of candy bars, since the purpose is to make money. >.>)

As for my apparent neglect of Prince Crawford: I'm going to update, really. ;_;' but I've been doing stupid English projects for the past.. three weeks. (1.A piece of artwork depicting the themes and moods of the Holocaust [a.k.a the Brad, Schu and Nagi Nazi pic! .. ~sweatdrop~], 2. The Late Great Me project (... I hated this one. With a passion. I had to plot out some ridiculously perfect life for myself. Optimism is not my forte. So it's really, really boring. I also had to get letters from a family member addressed to Bethany the Child, Bethany Present, and Bethany Future. Luckily, "Auntie Kaye" [a.k.a Shinigami Nagi] wrote those for me. 3. The rainbow poem thing and 4. the amazing boardgame based on my SSR book (which happens to be "Silent Night," a book about the WWI Christmas Truce. >.;; the upside is the little Chibi Weiss and Schwarz people I made for the pieces are ridiculously cute.) so yes. I got a C on the first one. I'm twitching. I spent 14 hours on it >.;;

Anyhow, I'll shut up now, since my A/N are getting to be longer than the fic >.;;