Memory of A Name
Disclaimer: If I owned Fringe...Peter would still be in existence.
Spoilers: Just the entire third season, fourth season and 4x03 Promo
Peter...Peter...Peter. That name kept repeating in Olivia's mind, but only after Walter had said anything. Who was Peter and why did that name alone take all her pain away? The name made her feel safe and loved...a first since before she could remember. Her first memories were of her mother crying, she'd later realize it was due to her father's death. Then happiness for a short while, but that soon turned into horrible times...her first clear and vivid memory was shooting her stepfather dead...a bullet to the knee, a bullet to the chest and without even pulling the trigger...a bullet to the head.
She now knew her telekinesis had taken that shot but then she saw it as the end of pain...till her mother blamed her and her sister, void of the abuse because of her own shielding, hated her for killing 'Daddy' so it left Olivia alone. She'd watched her mother die, Marilyn hadn't said a word to her but said everything to Rachel...Rachel asked to be moved to another family and had been adopted. She hadn't seen her sister since she was fourteen, perhaps with her life it was better that way.
Laying in bed, Olivia slept on the right side when normally single women slept in the middle of the bed but she'd slept on the right side for the last few months...she didn't understand why. However, she always curled towards the left side, cuddling that pillow to her. Starring at it she sighed and ran a hand across the empty space thinking it shouldn't be empty but hold a warm body instead...one that would protect and love her.
The name reached her mind again...Peter. Who was he and why did he make her feel safe?
She heard laughter and sat up, the phase had occurred...she had phased because the light was on but the room was the same. Was it dèjá vu or another universe...she'd have to wait and see. The laughter soon became louder and she watched herself and a man enter the bedroom laughing, she quickly moved away from the bed.
"I'm serious..."
The other her shook her head and grabbed laundry, male and female mixed. "No you're not serious."
"Okay maybe not but Walter needs something besides...Gene. Olivia help me out here...a cat is perfect."
The other her shoved laundry at the man and he took it, "no a cat is a perfect specimen for Walter, Peter you and I both know if he's left alone with any type of animal that he can catch and tie down without issue...he'll drug it, experiment with it before dissecting it. Do you really want an innocent cat's death on your conscious...you have enough there already."
"Really...what does that mean?"
She shook her head, "uh...give you one guess, has to do with why we never stay here. I've gotten over it, everyone else has but you haven't...it takes up a lot of your consciousness so do us both a favor and try not to overcrowd it."
Olivia looked around to see herself back in her bedroom, the book her hand had been on laid still there. It hadn't moved so it meant it had traveled with her. She sat on her bed and looked at the book, it was a journal of sorts. Opening it she found her own writing, she began reading the words.
I see myself unable to look away from the happiness I denied myself for so long, it is beautiful like Peter said. I think I'm falling in love...in love, not just loving him. I loved him when I crossed universes to get him back, I loved him even when he told me of his betrayal with her...when she pretended to be me because I know how she works...I haven't told him I still have her memories. This time I'm in love with him...waking up together is something I can see us doing till the world ends. This morning, I watched him sleep...I can hardly believe it's just Morning One because it seemed as if it had been ten years not ten hours since we allowed ourselves to go further.
I am in love with Peter Bishop and I hope this continues till the day we die (or till the world ends, as it seems more likely). - January 29, 2011
Olivia shook her head and turned a few pages to see a picture of her and a man, they were happy and he smiled at her with eyes so full of love it seemed impossible. She never knew someone could be loved that much but apparently she had been...by this mysterious man named Peter Bishop, so loved it was seen in his eyes.
Reading the entry, she found herself smiling as she did. It was a sweet entry, it caused Olivia to go all teenager and lay on her stomach, ankles crossed and hand holding her chin.
Peter was sweet today, I was actually surprised he remembered after everything with Bell and that argument we had concerning his elimination of the shapeshifters. Eleven days ago I tried to go on a date with him to a street fair but was unable due to a case...but today he surprised me by saying we were going to a street fair. I love to just look around at the different creations, this time however that was a bonus as spending time with Peter was the joy.
We walked the stalls and Peter showed me different things or explained stories to them if he was aware of them, lunch was hot dogs to which I was happy to obligue to. The real surprise was Peter bought a bottle of rare wine from a wine dealer, all legal I made sure of, and handed it over to me. He told me it was for me but not to drink it all in one setting. I went home to look up how much it sold for and was astounded he spent $500 on a bottle of wine for me to enjoy. It was sweet but when I repremanded him about it he got all shy saying he knew how much I liked wine and wanted me to have the best...because I deserved it.
This man is so frustrating but I love him, I sometimes question why he sees me the way he does. I also question myself on why I allowed myself to become involved with my abuser's son...I mean Walter gave me Cortexiphan but here I am playing daughter to him and girlfriend to his son. Perhaps I lost my sanity on the other side too but I quickly dismiss it because when Peter looks at me I know I wouldn't trade either. I'm not the marrying kind but I would marry Peter in a second. I only wonder if he'd be open to kids with abilities too, I should warn him of that chance of inheritance...later though when we discuss kids. -March 01, 2011
It was a romance novel almost, an account of what happened in another timeline to her. She flipped to the last entry and nearly choked on it. It was sad but beautiful at the same time.
I can't tell Peter what happened...he's too far into a coma and isn't waking up. How can I tell him that finding out about him caused me to find out and loose our child at the same time. I quickly was examined by a doctor who told me I had miscarried...they said most of it was gone so I could have only been three weeks pregnant, one week gestation. It hurt to think that I could loose Peter but at the same time I lost my only connection to him if I was to loose him.
I didn't think of anything other then saving our dying universe...I set it aside and went on. Sam, however, said I need to recharge for a few moments and recommended my apartment so this is why I sit here writing. The man I love is in a coma and I had just lost our child due to the shock of his condition and what he had done. Just yesterday morning we were in bed talking about a world full of promise, I had been about to tell him I loved him till the phones rang. Now I wish I had...so if he dies in this coma, he knows how much I love him. I can't stop thinking about how happy he'd be to be a father...he's so great with Ella. I wonder at times if he realizes she's my niece not our daughter because the little girl looks at him as if he is her father and given Greg's attitude...I know Rachel prefers it. I'm just happy she's far from all this but I can't help to think in August she'll be in New York five days a week and in Boston on weekends...that scholarship for Bright Light Academy was the best thing that happened to her.
Time to save the world...and the man I love, he's a part of me that will never leave. - March 13, 2011
Olivia closed the journal and wondered what had changed it all, what had made her and Rachel so close. What had made everything go wrong...why wasn't Peter there with her? Obviously she loved him, entirely and without regard to anything. They had been having a baby, despite only one of them aware and it being lost.
"Why aren't you here for me?" She whispered and looked up when she heard a voice.
"I am here...Olivia you have to help me."
"Who are you?" She looked around and found no one. "Who are you?"
"Peter..."
The voice was gone and Olivia looked around still, she let a whisper go. "Peter..."
A/N: I just thought of what Olivia's reaction would be to the name and with her ability to see deja vu...it fit well.