Title: An Unlikely Ally in Silence
Beta: CleopatraIsMyName
Challenge/Prompt: Written for Hogwarts' Ancient Runes class (first assignment; write about someone who is hardly ever noticed; prompt: happy), and for the Favorite Era Boot Camp (#19, Reflection).
Rating: K+
Word Count: About 650
Disclaimer: This work of fiction is in no way connected to the author of Harry Potter, JK Rowling. Harry Potter is owned by her, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
He hadn't been sad.
That was the only thing that especially mattered to Neville, years later, reflecting on what was and could've been.
He hadn't been sad, he hadn't needed for anything, he'd had everything provided for him, as well as earned rightly through bright smiles and winning grins, and his grandmother had been kind and stern when she had needed to be. That was the important thing.
So, even if it seemed the things that should've shattered his spirit back then-
he remembers hushed conversations behind closed doors, snippets of disappointment masked with tinges of hoped, sadness that he would never ever ever match up to his grandmother's expectations
-were more of a majority than the minority they had seemed to have been when he had been younger, in contrast to what he thought now, as a rather cynical adult, well... Neville knew that he wasn't incapable of reflecting on his childhood as the... the precious thing it had stood for. In fact, it was bloody easy to do so.
There were, however, elements of it he would always begrudge, such as his first day at Hogwarts-
he remembers boarding the train and finding a compartment, sitting all by himself, the playmates he recalled having never once looking for him while they carved new bonds of friendship, the shrill cry of shock and disgust when Trevor jumped out his pocket and the panic he felt at the sudden loss, the giggles behind his back at 'being the new first-year who couldn't keep it in his trousers', and the awe he'd felt upon his arrival at Hogwarts' grounds, the magic that was tangible in every step he took and with every fill of his lungs
-but he also knew it could've been a lot worse.
And, maybe, those days spent alone-
he remembers studying and putting his best effort into his homework, procrastinating because he'd recently found the most fascinating piece of information on a plant he'd seen on the grounds previously, an excitement that surged through his being, but without anyone there to burst at in happiness, withered in spite of himself
-had been preparation, of a sorts.
It's not as if Neville had ever really required the attention, in either case. He had been happy being left alone, and it remained true even after all these years. Being left alone was bliss in itself; he may like being around his friends every so often, they were his friends, after all, but he also knew that there were times when being around people also exhausted him, and left him near shaking with the want to just escape and be left alone - though, he never ever did so, in all intents and purposes.
The preparation, to be a leader in times of darkness, as silly and fairytale-esque as it sounded, even now, felt rather true. Being left to your own devices for so long did have its benefits. Neville could berate himself in private and, later on, become that sole source of strength the others needed, that one person perfectly capable of being put on a pedestal and praised, especially in light of the Carrows' invasion, under the leadership of one Lord Voldemort, and Headmaster Severus Snape.
But, yes, years later, Neville still enjoyed his time alone, the time he required to bask in silence and fill it in with his own bits of noise, because while he enjoyed company, he much preferred the, much needed, time to be without it.
And if he hadn't quite lived up to his own, albeit high, expectations, he still had time to do so. Because having time to yourself was also a double-edged sword, after all. And not one he believed he could totally appreciate, otherwise.
Author's Note:
Well, I hope you enjoyed this new ficlet :3 I tried to go down a different route with this prompt, after three revisions. XD This was the shortest, and the one I liked the best.