Author's Note: I blame every second of this two-shot on Katie. She's the one that put the vague plot bunny in my head at one o'clock this morning and let it grow well passed where feeding it carrots would have helped. ok now i'm babbling and she's the only one that understands. Thank you everyone over at the eNVy board for Horance's name, good to know I have a place to go when I need very random details. :P so this is very random for me. just read it through and gimmie your thoughts.

enjoy!

oh! the song is Slide by Goo Goo Dolls

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-Manda

Don't you love the life you killed
The priest is on the phone
Your father hit the wall
Your ma disowned you

"Can I um… can I get you water or anything?"

Her eyes were red rimmed, even with the hazel orbs closed he knew when she opened them up they'd be blood shot and cloudy, that was the same way they'd been since he'd found her in the corner of the bar hugging her knees to her chest. He'd never seen her so destroyed and unkempt. He'd never expected to find her so fallen apart over a guy either. She didn't seem to be the type to fall to pieces after being dumped, maybe he just didn't estimate her right. when Horace had called him he'd been completely baffled by the call, he was being summoned to clean up the mess that Abrams currently was? He'd heavy considered not going to attend to whatever had happened to her, she wasn't his problem to deal with. As he thought long and hard about it, staring at the scotch in his hand he knew that using her would have been the best way to get back at his so called best friend and his so called best friend's scheming, lying, whore of a current girlfriend. He could use the Brooklyn mess to his advantages, especially if she was drunk, getting her into his bed wouldn't have been half as hard.

Broken, disheveled, shaken, and scared, none of which had been any sort of what he'd been expecting to find. Hiccupping and broken sobs as she shook and tried to make everything around her go away. At first Chuck had tried to retreat away, crying females were not up his ally. His mouth watered to come up with a smart assed comment, to make her feel just a little bit worse than he could tell she already did. It was the stick in her hand that struck him, maybe he'd caught more of Juno then he should have. She hadn't seen him, her head was to buried in her knees for her to look up, but, he'd seen the pregnancy test. He could bet, from her hysterical sobs that he knew what the read out on it was also. Vanessa Abrams was currently carrying Nathaniel Archibald's child.

It had been two days since he'd found her in such a ramble of emotions, she'd had two days to let the facts sink in. two days since she'd made her decision on where she stood in the matter. There was no way she could raise or handle a child all alone. She didn't have the money for that. Grandfather Vanderbilt had already made it pretty clear that if she in any way attempted to ruin Nate's life for him he'd make sure Nate was cut from everything. As much as she loathed Nate for the accusations he'd put on her she loved him unconditionally and knew he wouldn't have been able being cut from any inheritances. There was also no way that she would ask for help from him, not even over her dead body. So Chuck chose to respect that, for some reason or other he'd decided to help her also.

"Vanessa… water?"

He shook her arm trying to get her to look up and focus on him, she still had paper work to fill out also. Her eyes had become too filled with water to see anything any longer. So Chuck had pried it from her hands and placed it on the table in front of her so she could resort back to her ball to cry in. the same ball she'd spent all night in. in the corner of his room at the Van der Woodsen home she'd stayed awake all night in a chair. He'd taken notice when he heard her distraught hiccups at three am for two nights in a row. He was just lucky that no one else in the home paid very much attention to what his whereabouts were.

Finally she lifted her head at his second attempt to get her to take a sip of the SmartWater. He'd taken note of the fact that he hadn't seen her eat or drink anything since she'd thrown up soon as they'd gotten to the clinic mumbling something about not being sure if it was morning sickness or nerves. She'd tried to make a nervous joke out of it, he wasn't sure how to handle it. The way she forced herself to laugh only to be silenced by the wall of emotions that swept over her creating her sullen hurt expressions, he wasn't used to anyone acting the way she was. Silent, hurt, and in such disarray, this was her entire life she was making a decision about. He could at least comprehend the severity of that.

"I don't want any"

Her warn and broken voice rasped out taking on an eerie calm that he knew was Vanessa just trying to numb herself for everything that was about to take place. She reached for the clipboard again, all she had left to do was put her signature on the bottom of the sheet and the first part would be completed, the actual event would be the only thing left to take place. He saw her hesitance as she played with the pen before drawing her fear wrecked eyes back up to glance at him.

"I never took a second of this lightly, the act of it I mean. Not that I intended for this to happen, because I sure as hell didn't. I'd be sitting here whether he and I were… still, regardless. What I mean is, I love him, or I loved him. I just… I don't know."

Clamping her eyes shut she lifted her hand with the pen to the paper and wrote a quick scribble of her name, as painless as she could make it he noticed. He didn't say anything back to her. Words weren't needed and he knew it. She was just trying to ease her pain and he was the elected one to be there to listen.

Of course she hadn't meant for it to happen, what kind of female would have wished the same sick, twisted, horrific death his mother had suffered on herself. Children were accidents, that was the only way he could explain them all. Ungrateful accidents that shouldn't have contributed to the earth if all they were going to do was kill their parents, those were thoughts that Chuck chose to keep to himself. With two parents dead he felt as though it'd been his fault. Though, if his thoughts were ever raised Lily would have tried to mother him and tell him it wasn't his fault. He didn't need to listen to her bull shit.

"Miss Abrams? The doctor's ready for you"

Had the situation not been so unusual he knew he would have cracked a joke and made some reference to the rooms in the back to the nurse with the legs that had just come out to get Vanessa. For the first time in his life he silenced himself and turned to the girl beside him who was trying to remember how to breath enough not to break down as she attempted to stand up from her chair. He caught her hand and stood up to support her, most of her weight landing on him as he walked her frail figure forward.

"You sure you're gonna be ok?"

The look she gave him when she turned her head just enough to look at him was more than enough to let him know that he'd asked a very foolish question. She was waiting for someone, anyone to tell her she was doing the wrong thing and she needed to stop. waiting for Nate to walk through the door and tell her that Being with Blair was nothing more than a sham and he really loved her and only her. Chuck couldn't do that for her. He could only assist her with the things she was taking on now and nothing more. They both knew it was true.

"Is your boyfriend coming in with you or…"

The nurse trailed off as Vanessa opened her mouth to speak as she shook her head rapidly. That was the last thing she needed people thinking. She wasn't doing this as an escape, she was doing it because it was the only thing she could do. Without causing hell to the thing it was the only and best way.

"He's not my boyfriend or the father, he's just…"

She stopped and looked at Chuck with her normal Vanessa look almost for the first time in days. A short lived smirk came to his face and he almost recited his normal 'I'm Chuck Bass' line but restrained himself to just a smile hand on Vanessa's shoulder for reassurance.

"I'm just a friend"

Friend, the word had actually slipped from between the arrogant king's lips. It was a first, the last time they'd both checked they were far from friends. But there was something about everything that was going on, something about her needing someone to be there for her that made him need to be her friend, even if it was only for a few days. Humphrey never would have let her go through with her decisions, and the youngest Humphrey would have called her a whore before slamming the door in her face. Vanessa had almost no one left, Ruby sure as hell wouldn't have been any help. She'd have blown smoke rings in Vanessa's face as she chugged down another bottle of vodka.

Without another word on the matters he followed with her, hand on her shoulder till she was escorted behind a blind to change into a hospital gown. He watched her as she walked to the exam table, shoulder slumped, a far off and distant look in her eyes, arms crossed as she scratched her short stubby nails on her upper arms just for something to touch, something to keep her mind occupied.

"Since you've had no prior medical attention we have to do a quick sonogram to see exactly where the fetus is. I'm advising you not to look at the screen, we'll sedate you right after this so you can sleep through it. You'll be a little sore when you wake up, nothing worse than menstrual cramping after an hour or so you're free to go. Just contact us if you come across anything unusual. Tenderness, morning sickness, and any other symptoms you have should subside within the week. That's about it, can we get started now?"

The voice was cold, callous, and rude as the older graying man entered the room without so much as an introduction. Chuck watched Vanessa's reaction as she winced and walked to the bed trying to put on another brave face as she avoided the doctor's eyes and nodded her head. He wasn't even warm or gentle as he folded a sheet over her and squirted the gel from the tube to her stomach. Chuck couldn't keep his eyes from looking, from knowing that in front of him was the girl his so called best friend doted on and defended to no end. Like his own feelings to Blair they were the same ones Nate carried or had carried for the girl laying on the cold medal table top.

It wasn't too long after the man had started searching for the sound that he found it. Both Chuck and Vanessa seemed to look up at the same time. The light washing machine sound beating loud through the monitor, it was strong, healthy… discovery health TV really needed to be shut off before Chuck went to bed at night he decided then. They both looked up to the screen of the machine, just as Vanessa had been advised not to do. The outline of the baby in her uterus was clearly visible, it wasn't just something that couldn't be deciphered… it was there.

"Measuring just about twelve weeks, you're just lucky it's small or else we wouldn't be able to complete this arraignment. It might be a little bit trickier than we originally thought. Nothing we can't take care of."

Twelve weeks, twelve weeks was shortly after his father had died. Twelve weeks was right around the time of the sex ring escapades, right around the time he'd asked them to help him figure out the missing night of his life. Twelve weeks was something Chuck Bass didn't want to think about involving his so called best friend and the girl before him. Was he the only one that remembered the banana examples from sex ed? He looked at her again, how drawn into the screen she was. Her eyes didn't fill with water like he'd expected to see them to, rather they looked completely calloused over and dead. Taking his eyes off of her pain he looked at the screen again himself, this time getting a different view of the baby.

"woah, does that mean it's a…"

Shutting his mouth instantly when he received the glare from the doctor and Vanessa's eyes flamed over with sadness and pain. It was the silent fact that she felt in some ways like she was doing the wrong thing. The machine was off and the image was off of the screen just as fast as it had appeared. The only thing the doctor cared about was getting paid. Nearly a years worth of saved tips for college were going on this.

"I don't want the sedative… I'd rather be awake."

Both men in the room looked at her for a second like she was nuts, but, Vanessa had her reasons. Other than being scared to death of being put under she needed to feel a pain worse than the guilt in her head and the pain in her heart over the last few days, every aspect of the past few days. Chuck sat silently looking at her as she looked up at the ceiling and the doctor got a few numbing needles ready.