Clary's POV:

I tell you this as any other heartbroken girl would do. You probably know what happened; you probably think it "ended" happily. But the truth is that oblivion is much worse than loss.

It has been five months since we defeated my brother Jonathan, or as everyone knew him: Sebastian, five months since the love of my life and I managed to save everyone we loved, five months since I lost my best friend and only a week since I kind of got him back.

I thought I would have to swallow the pieces of my past life and sadness and move on without Simon, but how could I? How could I ever live without that silly boy who I loved so much? He had always been there for me, he loved me too, he shared everything with me, and he supported me. He had been there when my life changed completely, he had been there when I was shattered with the thought of Jace being my brother, he had been there when I went to Idris to kill my father and I discovered that my whole past was a lie, he had been there when I was sad about Jace, he had been there when he disappeared and I almost lose my head, but he was gone when finally everything got better.

I cried for what looks like weeks, trying to smile at everyone so they wouldn´t be worried, doing my best to comfort Izzy, but it was useless, I was feeling miserable too.

-You can lie to them but not me, Clary. Look into my eyes and tell me you're over it like you did with everyone else…- Jace went to see me the day after we got back from Idris, I had been locked in my room for all that time, I didn't want to get out and face that Simon was gone.

-Can you just leave me alone? I don't want to talk about this right now!-

-Well, I do!-

-Why? You never gave a damn about him anyways! - It wasn't his fault, but a heart in pain speaks its own words.

-Because, I love you, Clarissa! I hate to see you like this! I hate to see my sister like this! Don't you think I'm sad too? You really think that I never cared about Simon? Who saved him at Valentine's ship? Who took care of him along with Jordan? Who did everything for you both? - He made me stare at him with my tearful eyes.

-Why should I talk about it when I know that he's not coming back? - I softly sobbed, he hugged me and stroke my hair, comforting me the best he could.

-Because if you keep it to yourself it may kill you on the inside. I know what pain does to people, Clary, and you're not the exception. And… for Raziel, it makes me so unhappy to be completely useless all the time-.

-You're not useless, Jace. I know… how it feels to live without you, I know how awful it is to not know where you are and who you're with. I know how not having you around is, and if that would have happened, I wouldn't be able to live right now. I lost Simon, it's true, but if I had lost you… I would have nothing- It was already bad to live without my best friend, but to live without my golden eyed boy? That just wouldn't be possible. He was trying, I was trying… that's what everyone did, but sometimes trying is not enough.

One day, the Clave asked us to go and take a look of the apartment so they could have some clues. It was terrible to go there and know that they were both gone, at least Simon was alive and that was somehow relieving, but with Jordan, we had no hope.

-I can't do this- Izzy confessed when we were about to get in, she fell to the floor.

-Izzy…- her brother began, I heard her cry.

-I can't, Alec! Ok? I just can't! - She yelled with tears falling through her cheeks. I knelt next to her and put my arm around her shoulder, helping her up, cheering her so she could be brave.

-It'll be ok, we're here with you- I whispered, she wiped her tears and nodded.

-It feels so cold now, this place used to be full of warmth and laughs… now it just doesn't feel like they ever lived here- Jace told me, I agreed.

-It always feels the same when someone dies…- Alec answered.

-One of them didn't die- I reminded him.

-Something far worse happened to him…- Alec said, then I heard Izzy sigh.

-You should see this, Clary- she called me to where used to be Simon's room. She was standing at his closet, looking at one of the doors. There was a picture of the six of us: He, Izzy, Alec, Jordan, Maia, Magnus, Jace and me, looking happy, I couldn't remember when that picture was taken but it was surely a treasure.

-I wonder what happened to our other pictures - She looked at me worried, trying hard not to cry.

-What do you mean?-

-I knew him since I we were little, Izzy, his memories may be gone but the evidence of our friendship remains. I'd just like to know what he thinks of them ... maybe he thinks that he isn't him because he is with a girl he has never seen.- I had so much theories of what could have been happening to him. What could Eric or Kirk tell him, did they forget about me too? Did someone of my mundane friends remember me?

-I'm sorry… you have much more right to be sad than I do- she answered sitting at his bed, I looked at the drawers; they seemed to have some of his shirts.

-Hey, you were the one who truly loved him. You must feel worse than I do- I answered sitting next to her, I couldn't have opened those drawers without crying like a child, and I didn't want to cry, specially because of Jace, he deserved a happy life with someone who could make him happy… I wanted to make him happy though I wasn't.

-Yes, you're right. I guess this was one of the reasons I didn't want to fall in love- she confessed.

-What reason? - I asked.

-Trying to forget when he already has- she got up and went to meet her brothers. She was totally right.

Then, when all my hope was gone after meeting him at our school, he appeared along with Izzy and Magnus at the wedding.

-I remember you; you're my best friend - he told me. I felt happier than ever, I didn't want to admit that Simon was my entire life too, but he was. They all were, all the people that took me where I was in that moment. Even those who I met not so long ago, those who had loved a Herondale as much as I did.

Nowadays, we're trying all we can so Simon gets his memories back, it's slow but it works. I've done everything, from pictures, to letters, to e-mails, to text messages. He's doing it; he's becoming who he was before.

-Right, remember what you said when you met Jace? - I ask, he thinks a bit. I loved when he did that, searching inside his head, moving his big eyes behind his glasses, hoping something would come up.

-The dyed blonde wannabe Goth weirdo? - He asks; I nod happily, he smiles. –Another one, Clary! Like this I'll spend half of my life trying to remember the other half! – My friend complaints, I laugh. This is what my Simon sounded like; this is what our Simon looked like.

-Remember what you became the night we went to Magnus' house for the first time- that was a tricky one but he couldn't have forgot it so easily! It was creepy.

-Don't even mention it. A freaking rat! I thought that vampires were a little more creative…- Simon answers, this time I smile.

-Remember the little girl who was in love with you? - I ask, He closes his eyes and thinks it trough.

-Yes, she was blonde! And she was fourteen! What was her name? Izzy told me that I killed her and now I don't even remember what her name was! Did it start with an R or something…- that happened sometimes, he had all the idea but he couldn't remember the main thing.

-It began with an M- I give him a clue, he nods.

-Marcy?-

-No-

-Melody?-

-Almost freezing, mundane. Try harder! - I encourage him.

-Marley? - He sounds like he's about to give up.

-You got the second letter! - I assure him, he smiles excited.

-Ma… Maureen! It was Maureen! - He finally says, I sigh relieved.

-Good job, amnesiac- I hug him.

-Amnesiac? Or mistreated by a prince of hell? - He reminds me, I laugh tangling his hair with my fingers, not wanting to let go ever again.

-For the first time in a week you're actually right - I congratulate him.

-Thanks, I don't know how I could live without you now- he confesses. I close my eyes so the tears won't come out; I rest my head in his shoulder.

-I can tell you how it feels-.

Jace's POV:

Clary has been with Simon the whole week, showing him stuff, taking him to everywhere they went before they had met us, meeting his family and friends who had once been her friends too again. Rearming both of their lives, trying to get him back. I somehow thank her for that, Izzy seems happier now too, we all are glad because of that. Especially because of my sister.

I remember the time when we got back from his apartment. Izzy cried and cried all day long. I decided to take a look at her room and so did Alec, so my parabatai and me got in together, hoping she wouldn't cut us at half with her whip.

-Hey, crying so much will ruin that pretty face of yours- I sat next to her, she was holding Church, the cat looked sad too.

-What's the point of looking gorgeous on the outside when your inside is full of crappy feelings and loneliness- she confessed, Alec rubbed her arm.

-At least you can do something better than suffering: pretend, pretend you're ok for those who love you- he advised her. Maryse didn't know what to do with her and Robert was hardly around us, he was at the Institute of course, but he never shared time with his children.

-Screw it- she blew her nose with one of her silly rose-colored paper tissues.

-I know you're hurt, Izzy. But you have to try to be happy for him, he got his life back- Alec reminded her.

-That's not the only thing that bothers me, Alec!- she said angrily, another tear fell from her eyes, I wiped it.

-What is it then? Let it all out, we're here for you- I assured her, she shows a rueful smile.

-I just… can't believe it. In 6 stupid months, our lives changed so much. I mean, the secrets that had been hidden for 17 years came to light, we met three awesome people, we cried and laughed about them, we… lost Max, you both found out about Father, the whole shadow world was threatened by a psycho, we confirmed that the Seelie Queen was a total bitch, we made new agreements with the downworlders, we became heroes, we fell in love. We won and lost many things, we'll never be the same…- she was right, she always was. How much had we grown up? How many things had changed? When did we become so vulnerable and deep? One answer: When we fell in love, when we gave our hearts to somebody else and begged them not to break it, and they did it anyway, they made us suffer, now Alec and I couldn't live without them, but Izzy was forced to, it didn't matter if she wanted to or not, she had to so her life wouldn't be ruined. I asked myself if she would ever love again.

-I guess it's true what Valentine said- I told them, they looked at me confused.

-What?- she asked cleaning her face once again.

-To love is to destroy and to be loved is to be destroyed, but love destroys you so you can become a better person than you were- I had thought about that very much, ever since Clary got into my life and changed all of me.

-You're right. I guess… no scar is incurable- she answered.

-We just need time, Iz. Time is the best medicine- Alec said, I agreed.

-I thought it was laughter- I remind him with a smile. Alec and I look at each other and wink.

-If you motherfuckers dare to tickle me you may consider you both dead and buried- she threatened us, we scowled.

-Time it is, then- Alec said. Izzy smiled.

-I just need you guys… I'll be better, I promise- she said with one last tear.

-Of course, you'll always have us. The Lightwoods stay together.- my parabatai assured her.

-He's becoming a Herondale- she reminded her brother.

-Still, I love you both more than I would want to.- I answered, we hugged each other, with Izzy crying in the middle of us. Promising each other to ease the pain.

Today, I'm going to talk with Maryse. She's hurt too, she's completely mad and confused all the time. I couldn't blame her, I wasn't the perfect son she deserved.

-Knock, knock- I announce while entering at the office. She doesn't look at me, her eyes are staring at the floor. –You still angry, uh?- I ask, she sighs.

-How am I supposed to react? Tell me - she asks me when she finally feels strong enough to look at me.

-Maryse, I didn't want to hurt you…- I tell her again, she gets up from the desk and walks to the window.

-I know that… but still you did…- she answers, I know she's fighting with herself to not start crying, I approach her.

-I just want to know who I am - I confess, she turns around and holds my face.

-I understand that very well, Jace, I do. There are sometimes when we all look for our own identity and path to follow, but… I don't know if this is the way… and I cannot help of feeling a little betrayed- It wasn't her fault once again, she deserved a better life than she got, a better husband, a better leader, a better adoptive son, a better fate and a better way of saying goodbye to her little kid. I knew what I had to do, I had long known it, but I was scared to tell her, I was scared that she would push me away, but it was time. She walks away again.

-Mom!- I call her, she stops and speaks with a broken voice.

-What did you say?- she asks. I stand in front of her.

-Yes you heard well, you are my mother. You know me better than anyone does, you kindly welcomed me, you patiently taught me, you took care of me and you loved me more than anyone has loved me. Now that I think about it, we're very much alike… none of us is a legitimate Lightwood but those lunatics are our family and we love them, we give everything we have for them though they act like idiots sometimes…- she scolds me- Ok, fine. They always act like idiots! But that's the point. Not for being called a Herondale I'm going to push you all aside, it's just a last name, it's just a way of recognizing me, but deep inside your heart you know I'm your son, you always have been, and I know you're my mother. It isn't that I want to belittle or hurt you, it's just that I want to leave my mark and for what Tessa told me, the Herondales are very remembered, I want it… to continue being like that, but I'll always love you very much, Maryse. You have to know that- I finish, it feels so good to finally take out all my feelings, it feels well to see her smile like that, shedding tears of pure joy.

-I know that, my smug child and I love you too, Jace, always. And I want you to know that I'll never get away from you, I don't really care how the heck you decide to call yourself, honey, and I understand it now. You're my kid because I always carry you in my heart… as I do with Izzy, Alec and Max- she confesses me, I hug her, my mother.

-Thank you, mom. No matter what happens, no matter if everyone knows me as Jace Herondale, I'll be a Lightwood forever- I assure her, and I don't want her to be sad anymore.

-You're welcome, my son- she strokes my back, I feel protected and happy. Then somebody interrupts us, Isabelle comes through the door being followed by Alec.

-Family hug?- she asks with a bright smile.

-Oh, what the hell? Come here you bunch of beautiful kids!- my siblings come running to us and we all hug each other, as the family we are. I spot Robert looking at us, part confused and part angry, I shake my head, I don't want him to ruin this moment. Church comes running and scratches my ankles, I lift her off the ground, she meows and gets into the hug too, now the whole family was there, I somehow know that Max is watching us.

Isabelle's POV:

I'm glad that mom finally made up with Jace, it was great to see her smile like that after almost a year, who could blame her? She had a shitty husband, her youngest son had been murdered merciless and she almost loses all of her children. Yeah, mom definitely had a tough life, but she was strong, I admire her.

I had been behaving like an emo for five months, you see! Five whole and complete months! I thought I would never have to suffer anything like that, but I guess it was actually for those thoughts that something so bad happened to me. I didn't want to, and yet it happened. Love doesn't ask for permission or preparation, it just comes in and confuses everything.

-Love sucks, bro – I told to Jace that afternoon after we got back from the apartment.

-You think I don't know? All the love I knew was the love that Maryse had for you three and the love I had for myself! Look at me now! I cannot live without all of you anymore - he confessed, I laughed in between tears. He had grown up so much, all of us had grown up, I still didn't know the reason, and I didn't want to know.

- It's so unfair, you know?-.

-What do you mean?-

-You live your whole life trying to just exist only for yourself, then this foolish person comes in and changes everything until you feel than you cannot breathe without him or her. It's stupid! It's cruel… -and those were just a few from all the things that were passing through my mind.

- That's how it was meant to be, Izzy. We have to understand that the world is never going to be understood or fair or even kind, but the thing is… that it's perfect just the way it is, you'll get to live and learn so much things that sometimes will make you sad or happy, but that's exactly how it has to be. At least, it's never boring – He smiled to me and I rested my head in his shoulder.

- I guess that life becomes what you make it…- I understood.

- You can let it crush you or you can let it treasure you- he ended.

-But it always ends up being your choice between them both- I still felt sad after that, but a little relieved. I finally opened my eyes and let my heart know that it wasn't over.

I'm going to visit Simon today, Clary has been helping him and I told her that I wanted to help too. She said it she was glad because she wanted to spend some more time with Jace, only Raziel knows what those two can do when they're alone, but I didn't care. I wanted some love too.

-Simon, Your little friend is here!- her mother tells him, I smile to her the most kind and calmly I can; Simon knew perfectly what "little friend" meant, it meant his kind of ex girlfriend that he couldn't remember having a relationship with and almost declaring to her, but he didn't know the last thing. But I feel so uncomfortable, I hate to dress up as a mundane and hide my beautiful runes! I had no choice, if I wanted his mother's approval I would have to pretend to be "normal" which in this case meant: boring.

-Hey, Izzy – he greets me adjusting his glasses and breathing hard, he had hastened to meet me.

-Were you being chased by a dog or something? – I laugh kissing him on his cheek, I already know the way to his room, I go there knowing that he's following me.

- No, not at all. I just… - I take him by the arm and throw him to his bed closing the door as quick as I can. His mother approval could wait, I had spent 5 months all alone! –Whoa, you don't lose time, do you? But I have to remind you that we kind of met a week ago. - That, for some reason, makes me laugh and I sit next to him.

- How are you doing?- It is the first time that I ask that question actually caring about the answer.

- Good, I guess. I finally get to recall some other stuff. Did you know I had a fourteen year old stalker? – Of course I remember that little bitch! She was the one who killed that other bitch.

-Don't even mention it – I beg, he smiles.

-But Clary can't help me remember thing about you, Iz… - he reminds me, I look down.

-What's the point of remembering something like that? You have to focus on remembering people now! – I advise him, he gets even closer.

-Well, I think you're more important to me than the other people is – he answers, I get a bit of frozen.

- Don't try to flirt with me right now – I ask. It was more than good to have Simon back, but I needed time to recover.

-I'm not flirting!- he assures me, I turn my head to see him in the eye.

- Well stop saying things with cuteness overload, okay?- .

- Can you tell me why does that piss you of so much? – He asks, I sigh.

-Because… it's no use to want to be with you again if you can't feel the same- I open myself to him, hoping he understands my position.

- Ok, that's the thing that you don't understand, Izzy – Now I have tears on my eyes.

-What?- I ask making the strongest voice I can make.

- I know… that you feel disappointed at love, that it managed to destroy you, you told me that! And I'm… God, I'm really trying to make it up to you…, you have that something that I somehow know I need, I felt so… incomplete for so long and you suddenly come into my life with those eyes full of hope and broken heart, though I didn't know who you were, I knew that I would do anything for you and that's what I'm doing, don't you think? I'm getting so much things that I didn't know I needed and now you guys are all that I want, I want Clary back, I want you back, I even want your jerky brothers and the warlock back, they're pretty cool! But specially you… you may think that this is kind of a curse to you, you may thing that everything could have been okay if I didn't come back to your life… but I don't see it that way, pretty one. I believe that, I don't know, maybe your marvelous angel gave me another chance to be with you, and I thank him for that… because now, I get to fall in love with you once again, Iz. And I would do it infinite times, I'll do it the times that we need to, I understand that you're my one- I'm shocked with his words, sobbing silently but inconsolably, I can't imagine how does he know all that or where does he get his thoughts from, maybe he does love me, more than I thought he could, more than he should actually. I hug him feeling him smile while kissing my neck.

- I don't care how much time it takes, if I can get your life back I'll do whatever it takes…- I whisper, promising him to help all that I can. I want my mundane back too, I need him.

- It only takes having you by my side – he answers, I laugh while another tear falls from my eyes, by the angel I also hate being so emotional! I kiss him softly, feeling my life stop for a bit and then feeling complete again, this was the first time I kissed him in all that time, It feels great to finally have his lips moving against mine, sensing his rushed pulse and crazy nerves, holding on to my back and it feels like he was holding my heart carefully so he doesn't break it again. I can breathe now. I can happily admit I'm in love.

Alec's POV:

I'm sitting on Magnus' favorite couch, Chairman Meow is making little cat sounds next to me, playing with the handle of my seraph blade, I hope he doesn't cut himself.

-Alexander, how many times have I told you that this isn't a toy for kitties! – He scolds me, I giggle.

-He's not a baby, Magnus, he's a cat!- he lifts the kitten and sits next to me, putting his free hand on my knee and gently stroking it. I curse myself for getting so uneasy when he's touching me, it was embarrassing, he notices.

- Damn, you are so in love with me!- he laughs, I scowl. –C'mon, Alec. It's not so bad, you're so cute when you get nervous – he kisses my cheek.

-And you can't know how nervous I've been lately – I rest my head on his shoulder, he puts his arms around me.

-Why, sweetie?- he asks sounding worried.

-You know how difficult it is to bring someone's memories back- I remind him, he sighs.

-I understand… we have to do it anyways. But I can't help of feeling guilty…- I hold his hand.

-Why should you feel guilty, it wasn't your fault!- I answer.

-Yeah, but I could have done something, I could have stopped my father from doing that to him- and this is the first time I feel Magnus shaking, he must feel very bad.

-No, you couldn't have. No offense, but your father is a motherfucker, no one can stop a demon from being who he is and doing what he is supposed to… screw our lives - he laughs and kisses my forehead.

-Well, I remind you Mr. Lightwood that your boyfriend is half demon- he says, I nod.

-You're the only person with demon blood who behaves like an angel-.

-And it's so weird to hear a nephilim say something like that!- he smiles, I do too.

-It's true! I can't count how many times you've saved our lives and taken care of us! If it wasn't for you… We might have never met Clary or defeated Valentine and Sebastian or separated my brother from him. I know that this should be backwards, but… you're my hero, Magnus. And I don't say this just because I love you crazily, it's because you've given me reasons to say it… -I know that he likes hearing the truth about him and even more if it's me who says it.

-Thanks. Do you know why I've done all those things?- I'm kind of shocked by his sudden doubt.

- Tell me- I answer.

-Because you, my love, have given me reasons to do it.- he starts covering me with kisses and I can't handle my laughter.

-Stop it!- I beg and he finally reaches my lips. By Raziel, I loved that warlock so much, when he was so close to me I couldn't think about anything or anyone else, he was my world.

- Well, it's good that you're helping him, but he needs time – he breaks the kiss with this sentence. I get a bit confused.

-Who were we talking about?- I ask, he laughs again.

-Simon?- he answers.

-Right, it's good, it's really good.- I assure him.

-We're still talking about him, right?- I hit him softly. –Ok, sorry. I'm still a little worried about him, though…-.

-Why?- I ask.

-You know that what my father did is kind of a spell, it's not precisely as the block I put on Clary's mind but so I can't understand how it was broken… so he could, I don't know, erase his memories again and again- he confesses, I scowl a bit, I'm worried about Izzy.

-Is there something we can do to stop that from happening?- He looks down.

-Not you, but him… He has a choice to make, you know that- he answers.

-I do, but I thought that he wanted to remember everything before he becomes one of us…-

-That's the thing, Alexander. If he doesn't become a shadowhunter soon, my father could know about this and come back for him-.

Clary's POV:

Jace came to my house a bit after Simon left. It looks like we were all going to meet with our couples today. We went up to my room quietly, we were lying on my bed looking to the roof.

-How's he doing?- he asks playing with my fingers.

-He remembers parts, not all but I think he's doing good- I assure him, he kisses my hand.

-I'm glad, beautiful – he sounds honest, I'm also glad that he cares about my best friend (who used to be in love with me) so much.

-Yeah… I know that he won't be exactly who he was before, but it's good. I just wish I could do something else- I tell him, he strokes my hair.

-Don't pressure yourself, Clary. I know you want to help him, but remember what Magnus said, Simon must remember by himself, like that he's memories will come back sooner.- he reminds me, I grimace.

-But I can't be sure that they'll all come back- I answer, he gives me a kiss on my cheek.

-Honey, give him time… you can't pretend that damn spell ends so soon, it's hard for him too.- I know he's right and I'm a bit concerned about it.

-I know but… it makes me so sad to see him like that and know that sometime I thought that he knew everything about us better than I did, now he fights to remember who I am… - he tightens his hug.

-Who could forget someone like you? You're such a character!- I laugh and lift my head to meet his golden eyes, those eyes that could make me melt in a second, I rub his cheek.

-It's good to have someone who truly knows he loves me- he smiles and sits in front of me. He starts looking for something in his pocket, when he finds it, he hides it from me.

-What on earth are you doing?- I ask feeling funny.

-Remember what I told you the night of the wedding?- he asks me, holding my hand.

-Yes…- I answer, he smiles.

-Well, I'll tell you something…- he takes out a little black box and opens it, revealing the Herondale ring. –This… mundane tradition of giving a ring to who you love, is the only one that I find meaningful- I swear that my eyes are wide open and that my mouth is at the floor.

-You… you're?- he understands my question before I end it.

-Kind of… I got this from Tessa that same night, so I gave you a clue, don't you think?- he takes the ring and puts it on my finger, I look at him –This means that you'll be completely mine someday, Clarissa Fray, don't forget it- he smiles as cute and bright as always, I can't help of shedding a tear and throwing myself to his arms, kissing him sweetly but passionately.

-Everyone will go crazy when they find out!- I say with my arms around his neck, he gives me a little kiss.

-Don't rush, dear. I still want to mess up with you more times until we say "I do"- I roll my eyes but still kiss him again.

-As you say, my fiancé, but I'm afraid I have to remind you that we have another ceremony to prepare before our own wedding- he looks a bit confused.

-And what the heck is that?- he asks, I giggle.

-Simon ascension, remember?- I answer, he nods.

- Of course I did! I was just making sure that you remembered…- he jokes.

-Finally… I'll have everyone I love with me once again- he seals that one sentence with a kiss and I promise myself to never let go of anyone else ever again.

-The End-.

Dreamer.

Hello, my dear fellow shadowhunters! So, by the angel, tell me what you thought about this! (It was so long to write! I just hope there are no mistakes on the spelling, haha!) After I read CoHF (It wrecked my heart completely) I couldn't believe what had happened to Simon! It was so sad, you know? Losing his best friend, the girl he loved and all the people he had shared time with! It was just… unbearable to me, but it was good to know that he could still have his memories back! So I decided to create something with that idea, how would it be? So, here you go! With all my love for the fans and this awesome saga I love so much! (And unfortunately is over! My god, how will I live after this?) Please, tell me all you want to, if you have an idea for another fanfic or something don't you doubt of telling me! Thank you for reading, kisses to you all and may the angel bless you, bye!