How I wish the last book had ended - it was wayyy too sudden the whole 'Gee n Dave' thing, not to mention, we totally didn't get to rejoice in the fact that after it taking 8 books of complete and utter torture, Mr and Mrs Laugh finally got together!
Disclaimer: Nothing but the plot is mine.
You're Not Going To Dump Me For a New Handbag, Right?
After Show
I was looking down at the floor when I heard her coming back again.
I said, "Can I have the black one?"
And Dave the Laugh said, "You cheeky minx."
I looked up at him.
He wasn't smiling. He looked vair tired in fact. He had big dark circles underneath his eyes. He looked muchos like Libby's 'friend' Josh after she'd got at him with Mutti's makeup. Scary bananas.
"Jas told me about the Handbag. I'm sorry, Gee." He said in his Dave-like voice. Which in other words, means he is sorry that I am upset, but not about why I am upset. I'll have to remember to ignore-voux him at some point soon.
Dave the un-Laugh sighed. He reached out an arm and pulled me sort of in to him.
It was like he had glued his arms around me.
Not literally, you fules, just like, in a nice, matey-type way.
Imagine if he had glued us together? That would be vair freaky-deaky. We'd have to waddle everywhere together. We'd be like, the Waddling Extraordinaire.
Shutupbrainshutup.
So yes. There we were. Dave was hugging me.
9.48pm
Dave still hugging me.
Blimey. At this rate, we will be stuck together.
In fact, I was thinking so hard about what it would be like if we were, that I didn't even notice that he was sort of playing with my hair.
At the same time as caressing my cheek.
N'awwww.
See, this is what a good snogging partner should do.
Not constantly attack my mouth with snogs that are both fabnostic but also vair tiring sometimes.
I may need to get cracking on finding said snogging partner soon.
9.51pm
Wait.
Did I, Georgia Nicholson, just admit to prefering something to, well, snogs?
I may need to lie down for a moment or two.
Scratch that. Dave is still stroking my hair.
This is the life, mon petite pallies.
9.51pm
Dave is humming something under his breath. I can feel his throat sort of vibrating against my cheek.
I said, "What song is that, Dave?"
He stopped humming and said, "When I'm sixty four."
Er... Of course.
9.52pm
Oh good Lord Sandra. And also Buddha.
Dave the Laugh is a Beatles fan!
I only know this, of course, because mein overly-large Vati and scary-bananas Uncle have an obsession with all things from the Middle Ages.
But... Dave...?
Crikey!
10.00pm
"Come on Kittykat, it's getting late. I'll walk you home."
Dave finally unglued us and took my hand.
I said, "I wonder where Spassy went before..."
Dave chuckled. He has a nice laugh. It makes me want to laugh when he laughs. And Dave the Laugh laughs a lot. That's a lot of laughs.
"She went home. For some reason, she thought I'd want to talk to you after telling me about your ex-Italion Stallion."
His voice went all weird and, like, weird when he said that.
That's when I suddenly remembered the most important development of the evening.
"Dave!" I shook away his hand and swotted him with my own.
He stepped back and I almost laughed. He looked all shocked, bless him. Sweet!
No, Gee, No! You do not think Dave the so-called-Laugh looks sweet! He's the lamest excuse for a boy-type-pal ever!
Swot, swot, swot. "You two-faced, double-timing twit!"
10.02pm
Quite literally running like a mad-man down the dark street trying to catch up with Dave.
He seems to have run off scared for some reason.
I can't imagine why.
10.05pm
Huff-huff-pant-pant.
I think I'm having a seizure.
I can't catch my breath.
Dave is patting my back in faux sympathy.
"There, there, Kittykat." He is repeating over and over.
"Dave! Why didn't you tell me you dumped Emma! For another girl as well! You are supposed to be my best boy-type pal, I deserve to know these things."
Heave, heave, sigh, sigh.
I think my breath is coming back now.
Dave has managed to take hold of my wrists.
Probably because he's afraid I'll start attacking him again.
He smiled his crinkly-eye-Dave-the-Laugh smile and said, "A mans body is a very delicate thing, Kittykat. There are only a few places I would willingly let you attack. And that would be with your mouth."
Aha! So he was afraid! One-nil to Georgia!
10.07pm
Wait.
That was vair rudey-dudey now I think about it!
"Dave! Stop being rudey-dudey!"
He laughed again. "Trust you think of it like that. You cheeky minx."
What, what? How has he managed to make me sound like the rudey-dudey one?
10.10pm
We are standing outside my door now.
Dave is sort of standing opposite me, just staring at me.
He's got really lovely eyes.
It makes me wish I could just look at him all day.
He lifted a hand and brushed some stray hairs out of my face.
"Kittykat, I did two-time on Emma."
Aww. Poor Dave. He looked so sad when he said that.
It made me want to, oh to hell with it.
I put my arms around him.
He is, after all, my bestie-boy-pal, who is upset.
It's only right I comfort him.
He sighed. "Gee, the only person I two timed on her with was you."
10.12pm
I was standing there like an agog thing, quite literally, like a penguin out of water.
I don't even think that makes sense.
Dave was staring at me as if I'm insane.
I sqeaked, "Me?"
So that suddenly makes sense.
"Yes, you, you daft pillock."
He laughed again, and resumed the whole stroking my face.
"I broke up with Emma because, for some unknown reason, I am completely and utterly in love with you and your crazy, insane self."
He was staring at me, staring at him, staring at me.
Dave has said he loves me before, twice actually.
But it has never hit me like this before.
Before, he would say it in a jokey-type way like he was daring me to say it back.
Now he said it in a serious-type way llike he needed me to say it back.
Good Lord. What is a girl to do under this much pressure?
I may have to do a moment's meditation.
I really wanted to snog him, but somehow, I think if we didn't get this sorted out for good this time, Dave would never want to be my friend again.
Quick mental list of pro's and cons!
Pro's
Dave has said he loves me. Three times now.
Dave has said I'm beautiful.
Dave makes me laugh.
Dave was there for me when Angus got run over and even bought him little kitty treats.
Dave has seen me in both my teletubby jimmies and as red as a tomato and it still hasn't put him off.
Dave is the best ever, period, at snogging.
Dave has never been out with or preferred Wet Lindsey to me. Ever.
Dave does sweet, romantic things, like stroking my face and doing linksie-upsies.
Cons
Dave is my bestie-boy-type-pallie. If we broke up, he would hate me forever.
Er... that's it.
10.15pm
Aww.
Poor Davey.
He is looking desperate now.
And sad.
I sighed. "Are you going to stand there like a duck all night, or are you going to snog me?"
He grinned a Dave the Laugh type grin and leaned in.
I said, "I'm the stupidest idiot on the planet, and probably Mars too."
He had his arms fully around me now.
He said, "And why would that be, Kittykat?"
I said, "Because I've always loved you, Dave. I just loved being the girl who got all the guys more."
Tis true, mon pallies.
Gee Nicks doesn't lie.
Except to herself.
"True. But that's why you're a Sex Kitty. Just, tell me one thing though."
I said, "Most likely anything."
He said, quite seriously, "You won't go and dump me for another Sex God or Italian Stallion, will you?"
I laughed. "Nah. Been there, done that. I'm quite happy with my Dave the Tart, thank you very much."
He looked at me in a weird way. "Why am I now Dave the Tart? I thought I was the Hornmeister! The Vati!"
He even punched the air. Boys are strange. Or maybe it's just Dave.
"Just shut up and snog me, Hornmeister."
V
I know a lot of these stories don't get many reviews but I just thought I'd add it to the long list of wishful thinking in these fanfics :)
And if you haven't already, CHECK OUT TOMMY BASTOW'S BAND FRANKO (Tommy, who played Dave in the movie)
He is an amazing singer, he's bloody gorgey, and he's hilarious as a hilarious thing on hilarity tablets.