That '70s Show is owned by Carsey- Werner, and originally distributed by FOX.
The following "infomercial" is not real- at all. I made this up, while reflecting on Season 8. Inspired by the "Forget About Jackie Pill" that was mentioned in either Season 2 or 3. Also, I do not endorse drug or alcohol usage, this was all purely for comical effect.
Do You Feel upset while watching That '70s Show, Season 8?
Do you stay up late at night, wondering how both Jackie and Hyde were both prominent characters in Season 8, and yet they were not placed together in a pairing?
Do you want to scream at your television set for being the messenger of sending you the married couple of Smyde, (also known as Samantha & Hyde)?
Well, if you do, there is good news for you! By the makers of Eric Forman's Super Star Wars Fun-filled Fantasy Quest and Kitty Forman's Cookbooks for Homemade Meals and Hangover Cures and the award winning product, Forget About Jackie Pills, comes a new, attractive endeavor: Forget About Sam Pills!
Now, with this new product, all one must do is take two tablets with one 8 ounce glass of water approximately 30 minutes before viewing an episode of Season 8. And- just like magic or possibly hallucinogenic drugs- watch as the scenes with Sam are suddenly replaced by your own imagination! Right before your eyes, Jackie is with Hyde, the two stealing kisses from one another while held tightly in the other's embrace! Hear the lovers as they apologize to each other for their misunderstandings from Season 7, and finally, let your heart beat again as the series concludes with the eventual marriage of Jackie and Hyde.
This product is available in a limited time offer at the low, low, not-so-low, price of $789.99 per bottle (excluding the 10% tax)! But, it's only sold here and will not be released in your nearest drug store, so if you want to forget about Sam, call 1-800-FORGET-PILLS!
(cough-cough) sideeffectsofthisproductinclude: slight memory loss, violent outbursts toward perfectly harmless, nice individuals that go by the name of "Sam", a phobia toward strippers, a hostility toward Las Vegas marriages and possibly mild depression when realizing what you dreamt up did not actually occur and Sam does exist (cough-cough).
But Wait!
There's MORE!
With every bottle of Forget About Sam Pills, comes a complimentary Forget About Randy, The Aromatic Unsweetened Liquid (otherwise known as alcohol)! That means, while you are forgetting about Sam, you can also take the liberty to forget about Randy! Heck, you can just redo the entire season in your head, and pretend that Eric never went to Africa, Kelso never left to Chicago, Fackie (the pairing of Fez & Jackie) was never a thing, and Donna wasn't replaced by Blond Donna.
Too Good to be true?
Possibly, but hey, you're still considering this option because the tears have not yet dried from the 'out of character' paths chosen by your favorite That '70s Show characters!
So, if you wish to spend your time seeing what could have been instead of what really did occur, again call 1-800- FORGET-PILLS. That's 1-800- FORGET-PILLS. Toll offices are standing by.
And remember, you better hurry, because it's a limited time offer only!
*(Special side note: For those who cannot afford the price, there's always fanfiction…)
One last thing, I have no idea if Jackie & Fez or Sam & Hyde have followings with their names pushed together, so I just made up Fackie and Smyde. Are they real by any chance?