A/N: So, last week I came home from work and saw a Dolly Parton live in London concert on television. I watched and fell in love with music I never knew she was involved in. This is my fanfic acknowledging her brilliance lol. Well, not really, it's just looking in on a little bit of Liley from a different perspective. Please enjoy and pay attention to the moral, I think it's something we all need to remember once in a while.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything from HM or Dolly P's music.
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Better Get To Living
Get your dreams in line
And then just shine, design, refine
Until they come true
And you better get to livin'
Dolly Parton
-
Miley was a bit broken inside. She felt the difference in her with every step she took and with each breath, on harder days, there was a crack which furthered within her, like a pane of glass that splintered under more pressure. She felt backward, like a river that chose to flow the wrong way, against the course that nature had set out for it. This was teenage anxiety, and she knew it, yet the fact that she had acknowledged this truth did not make the feeling any easier.
She was spiraling because she felt that no one understood her, that no one else could comprehend her current feelings. Some days Miley Stewart felt as if she was drowning in her own stress, struggling for the surface of her troubles so that she may drink in the air with ease again. Yet on other days, and these were the best days of her life, she was floating. Her life was surrounded in a golden halo and she soared through a blue sky where laughter was her music and her senses came alive, as she bathed in lily meadows and slept under the stars…
x-x-x
The blonde woman in the front room stood clutching a mug of hot tea in her hands, watching the warm summer rain through the window. The clouds filling the afternoon sky were grey and had failed to ease during the passing of the whole day. She let out a sigh before taking a sip from her drink and then turned to face the man who was busy in the kitchen.
"Now then Robbie Ray, when you invited me to Malibu I went and dug out my swimsuit for the hot September weather that y'all get here. And now look, what's going on? We have rain, and more rain… Darn it, it's been rainin' the past two days and lord knows it'll probably rain all week."
Robbie Ray merely looked up from his food preparation for a moment, to smile meekly at the imposing figure before him, before turning his attention back to the vegetables he was cutting up, "Dolly, you know I had more intentions, other than a holiday, for you to come and visit us."
Dolly had returned to mock-glaring out of the window, but she was still listening to the humble figure who was enraptured with his cooking. Eventually the country songstress managed a small smile as she replied to one of her favourite members of her adopted family, "I just wish that my being here was actually doing some good."
Robbie Ray sighed, "You just have to give these things time."
"Miley hasn't talked to me about any of these 'girl issues' you keep harpin' on about yet." Dolly shook her head, "I'm finding it difficult to approach her because she's never in, and when she is here she's studying!"
"Well that's what she does." Robbie Ray eased the carrots from his chopping-board into a pan for boiling, "She keeps herself to herself at the moment, quiet-like, which is why I need a woman to drag whatever this is out of her."
"And, tell me again, why is a woman so necessary?" Dolly paused and looked thoughtfully at Robbie Ray, "Why can't you just figure these things out?"
Robbie Ray placed all cookery equipment to one side, to give Aunt Dolly his full attention, "I haven't succeeded because she acts as if nothing is wrong, and it would seem like that to me if it weren't for the little signs that show me she's not alright. Her eyes are always downcast in the evenings and at night she becomes so secluded and just wants to be on her own. I think she's different when her friends are around, she's always brighter with Oliver and Lilly but, with me…" Robbie Ray trailed off and looked toward Dolly, who did not fail to notice the sadness lining his eyes, "I just don't know what's going on. She's sixteen years old, and growing into a young woman. Miley's been behaving oddly for the past couple of months and I think she now needs a maternal influence in her life to step in. I guess I'm kinda scared that the problem may be me, or that she's really suffering adolescence because her mum's not here."
Dolly walked towards the kind father slowly, maintaining a strong eye-contact, before resting her hand on his arm, "Robbie Ray, you have done the best job with Miley. Now, I don't know what may be on her mind at the moment, but you can bet your bottom dollar I'm gonna get to the problem. Don't you worry about this anymore."
"Thank you." Robbie Ray smiled slowly and returned to his oven, checking on his famous stew.
Dolly nodded confidently before helping the man with his supper preparations, muddling her way through drawers to set up the kitchen island with the cutlery they needed for their supper.
x-x-x
Quiet music could be heard through the bedroom door as Aunt Dolly stood outside, poised for entering, but with one hand paused before she knocked. She was waiting to summon her thoughts together in one more moment before approaching her goddaughter. Dolly knew she only had one real chance to get to the heart of Miley, and she couldn't afford to rush the girl in her feelings. Miley had been subdued throughout the meal, smiling politely when she needed to and completing her chores of washing up, yet this was all she did. She wasn't lively and her familiar laughter did not bounce through the conversation like Aunt Dolly was used to on her visits. Up until that evening, the house had been lacking in the music which Miley made, through her incessant chatter and frequent outbursts into her favourite Aunt's own country songs. Dolly may have only stayed for three days thus far, but she definitely knew when something was wrong.
Dolly knocked on the door, "Hey Miles, do ya mind if I come in?"
There was a silence which made Dolly question whether she was attempting this at the right time, but Miley soon answered, "Sure."
Dolly took a breath and released it again quickly before sliding open the door and stepping into the room to see her favourite goddaughter hunched over her desk in front of a pile of books and notes. "What are you workin' on there darlin'?" Aunt Dolly asked as she weaved her way across the room to perch on the end of Miley's bed.
Miley's eyes were lined with pink and to Dolly's trained eye she knew her niece had been crying, "I'm just doing my history project that's due a week Tuesday."
"Well then, aren't you the little prize student? You've got over a week to hand this in and look at you doing it all in good time." Dolly tilted her head to one side as she regarded her quiet niece who sat attentive, yet expressionless. "I remember, when I was at school, I was too busy plannin' the great future I saw ahead of me than readin' books." Dolly chuckled, "Of course, that's no reason for you to abandon your studies. People seem to like brains these days, as well as looks, so I know that you'll have no problem in life."
Miley's smile was weak in response, but the promising indication came when she pushed her books a little further away and turned in her chair to give Dolly further attention, and her Aunt's heart warmed.
"What's this music that you're listening to anyway? It sounds kinda familiar."
"It's Norah Jones, she's singing about the grass being blue…"
Aunt Dolly nodded knowingly, "It is Norah Jones. And, it's also my song."
"Yeah, it is." Miley smiled shyly.
"You know, I wrote this song when I was thinking back one day about all the men that had stomped over my heart. But, did you see the irony in the song?" Miley blinked and Dolly understood that her niece had already acknowledged it, "I say that I'm through with this person who has broken my heart, when really I'm not."
Miley smiled, "It's a good song, one of my favourites at the moment."
"That makes me happy, that my niece still likes my music even with all these new, cool artists."
"Aw Aunt Dolly, I think you're awesome." Miley argued playfully and Dolly noticed the glint of life in her goddaughter's eyes as the young brunette began to warm to their conversation at last.
"Well then, I'm flattered. I thought it was just the middle-aged that like me."
"No way! Lilly and I listen to your music all the time. She asked me for seats to your next concert and backstage passes to see the diva in her prime." Miley laughed and Dolly smiled at the sound, watching her niece finally come to life after sitting in the dark for the whole day.
"Your friend has good taste in music."
Miley's eyes twinkled, "She does."
"How is Lilly anyway? I haven't seen her since I've been here." Dolly mused and her niece's gaze flickered away, straying back to the pile of texts on her desk.
"She's fine."
Dolly frowned, but the expression passed in a second as she tried to follow the random changes in Miley's moods, "We should have her round one night this week so I can tell her when my next concerts are coming up and promise her some free tickets."
"I'm sure she'd like that." Miley replied, her body shifting nearer to her desk and her hand twitching for the pen that she had left on her work papers.
Silence filled the room other than the music that played, which had now changed tracks to another soft-voiced female, singing in a melancholy tone that reflected the attitude which Miley was quickly settling into again.
Aunt Dolly allowed her gaze to wander from her niece temporarily as she took in Miley's ever-changing bedroom. When Dolly was last staying in their house a year back, Miley's walls were littered with posters of fellow musicians, as well as family and friendship snaps. This time many of the famous images had been stripped away and even more pictures where added. Dolly looked over photographs of Miley and Lilly on days at the beach, the pair horse-back riding in Tennessee and posing together on a trip to New York.
"Miley…" Aunt Dolly began tentatively, "…you can tell me off for prying but, have you and Lilly had a fight or something?"
Miley shook her head slowly, "No, we're fine really."
"Fine." Dolly repeated the word, playing it out thoughtfully on her tongue, "You've been using that word a lot since I've been here darlin'. Every time I ask you how you are, that's all I get." Miley rolled her pen backwards and forwards over her essay, shrugging her shoulders as if surreptitiously throwing off any attempt Dolly made to breach her mood. Unfortunately for Miley, however, her Aunt wasn't buying, "Miley, I respect your privacy and who you are, you know I always will, but sometimes you've got to trust to let people in a little because they might be able to help."
Miley gazed in the direction of the doors which led out onto her balcony for a moment and Dolly sighed before standing to her feet. "Where are you going?" Miley asked, and her voice registered a slight plea telling Dolly that the teenager did not really want to be left alone.
"Hmm? Oh honey, I was just gonna go get some air now that the rain's passed. Do ya wanna join me?"
Miley spared one fleeting look in the direction of her work and then nodded. She followed her aunt onto the balcony, where they stood on the wet floorboards and gazed out over the grey ocean. The air outside was definitely stimulating, since the gusts of wind which blew in from the coast circulated the mugginess away, refreshing the atmosphere around them in a constant flux. The flowers that lined Miley's balcony released an even headier scent after the rain had fallen, which only added to the fragrance of the salt air and pleasant smell of damp.
Aunt Dolly breathed in deeply and sighed, "Ah, that's much better. It's so nice to be out here without all that stupid rain to deal with."
Miley leaned onto her railing and cast her sight over the turbulent ocean, driven wilder by the shifts in the weather. The waters were more temperamental than normal and she found the climate strangely soothing in its unsteadiness. It seemed to tell her that she was not alone in feeling restless and she took that as a crutch.
"Hey, Aunt Dolly?" Miley began tentatively, without taking her eyes off the ocean, "Can I ask you something?"
"Sure you can, honey." Dolly replied quietly, whilst mirroring Miley's stance in contemplating the waves before them, rather than staring the girl down.
"What's your secret?"
"Hmm?"
"With all you do your attitude seems so good. How do you keep it that way?"
Dolly chuckled, "Well darlin', my life is pretty hectic as you know, but I just try to keep a good head and keep faith in people and what I'm doing." Dolly paused as she allowed Miley to digest everything slowly; there was no need to be hasty when dealing with her troubled goddaughter. "Does it get you down sometimes with all the commitments that you have?"
Miley nodded just enough for Dolly to notice, "Yeah. It can do sometimes. It's hard living a double life, ya know?"
"I've never had to do it and I can understand that it does have its disadvantages."
"I mean, it's great in that I get to be normal and go to school and actually have loyal friends… But at the same time, sometimes it seems that Hannah is so much better than me."
"Now what are you talkin' about?" Dolly calmly interjected, unable to remain patient for long with her self-understated niece.
"Oh come on Aunt Dolly, Hannah is talented, beautiful and appeals to everyone on a global level. And I'm just Miley. A massive dork who goes to school, does her homework and doesn't seem to have an exciting life."
"Now Miley, that just ain't true."
"Uh-huh." Miley stated adamantly and finally turned away from the view to give Dolly her full concentration.
"No way. You're Miley Ray Stewart, a charming and beautiful girl in your own right who, normally, is full of life and excitement about the world. You have great friends and a fantastic family, if I do say so myself." Miley shrugged, but Dolly was not deterred, "I reckon there's something else getting you down and it's leading you to question everything else so that you don't have to think about it, am I right?"
Miley blinked and her gaze changed completely to flicker over towards her room. Dolly feared a flight mechanism kicking in as a reflex to her delving, yet Miley stayed stationary. Dolly frowned inwardly and quickly replicated where Miley's attention had fallen.
"Miley, you know, I'm no Dalai Lama, but I'll try to offer up a few words of advice." Dolly waited until Miley had become more comfortable with turning back to her aunt and giving her the attention that she needed. Dolly smiled and took a step nearer to her niece, "All the healing of your life has to start with you. No one else can pinpoint exactly what is going on, or where you're going wrong, and so you're the one who has to pick yourself up. Just think it all through, especially this particular problem you have. I normally make lists of what I need to do, but if that fails then throw the list out the window and listen to your heart!"
Miley smiled, "You're right. But I don't really know where to start…"
"How about you just talk to Lilly and tell her what's on your mind?"
Miley looked down, clearly perplexed that Aunt Dolly had made such a suggestion, and the country songstress beside her almost began to resent what she had said, before Miley met her eyes again, "I will. You're right." Miley sighed, "I have to talk to Lilly, but it's kinda scary what I need to say. Scratch that. What I've got to tell her is the scariest thing that I may ever have to do."
Dolly nodded, "It has to all come out, or else it'll swallow you up. You can't go on leading a half-life because you're scared of what others will think of you." Miley still had creases of worry crinkling her brow and clouds filling her eyes, which matched the skies above them. "Miley, I have to tell you something that sounds a little bit morbid, but it's something that I live with everyday. The day we're born we start to die. Miley, don't waste a minute of this life. Take chances and everything will turn out fine, I'm sure of it. You'd better get to livin'."
x-x-x
"Miley seems better today, what exactly did you say to her?" Robbie Ray interrogated his long-term friend as they worked together to clear away the breakfast dishes which Jackson and Miley had left on their rushed exit to school that Monday morning.
Dolly smiled a secret smile, "Now then Robbie Ray, you asked me to do the girl talk, but that doesn't mean I have to tell you what it was."
Robbie groaned as he loaded the dishwasher, "You women sure are sly. Can't you give a poor guy a hint?"
Dolly straightened up and put one hand on her hip as she regarded the man thoughtfully, "I told her she'd better get to livin'." Dolly replied finally.
"Better get to livin'…" Robbie Ray repeated her words, "And do you think she will?"
"Only time will tell darlin', but I think she'll be just fine."
x-x-x
Four days later and Dolly was smiling to herself as she walked along the Malibu beach in pure September sunshine. The remaining clouds from the recent bad weather still speckled the azure sky, but were being herded away by the warm breezes which now swept in over the coast. The older songstress felt the wind playing with her hair, as well as soothing her warm skin, which still tingled from the falling rays of sun as the great orb began to sink towards the waves. The light all around her was golden and Dolly was thankful for the moments of solitude she had chosen to take, in order to finally enjoy the better weather she had hoped for.
As she approached the Stewart household, she suddenly became aware of tentative voices coming from her adopted niece's balcony and Dolly paused in her meanderings over the white sand. She took shelter behind a nearby fence, constructed from wooden poles, and peered up to Miley's balcony, where she could discern her beloved relation talking with a familiar blonde girl. Dolly frowned inwardly, perhaps she should have turned aside and returned the way she came, until she reached the road and could approach the house that way. Yet something held the curious lady back and she held her ground as she watched the scene play out before her.
"…Lilly, I just don't not what to say, or how to say it…"
Miley's garbled voice was coming across to Dolly, fighting against the sea wind in stuttering chunks. Dolly eased herself closer and bade her ears to use all their might so that she could hear.
Lilly's voice broke through the pause which had ensued between the girls. Dolly could just make out her words, the tone was urgent and the other girl sounded upset.
"Tell… what's wrong?" Lilly was pleading and Miley swept away, seeking solace from the sea. Dolly ducked down behind her barricade, but did not take her eyes away from the scene.
Lilly was standing right next to Miley, where she reached out a tentative hand to place on her friend's wrist.
"No, you haven't done anything wrong." Miley's low voice traveled just far enough to reach her Aunt's ears, and Dolly was glad for all the projection lessons her goddaughter had taken whilst rehearsing Hannah. "You never do anything wrong, and that's the problem."
Lilly looked confused and withdrew her hand; Dolly saw the pouting of her mouth and the slight frown. Dolly saw how Miley's lips curl into a smile as she watched Lilly, so closely.
"I don't understand." Lilly was staring downwards, twisting her fingers together on top of the balcony which she was partially leaning against, with her body turned towards the ocean.
Miley's eyes still rested on Lilly, flickering across the other girl's face without ceasing, as if the brunette was searching for something in her friend which she had not seen before.
"Lilly…" Miley began again, but trailed off to stare out at the sunset, and Lilly followed her gaze. "The other day," Miley began slowly, clearly piecing together her thoughts before speaking, whilst her eyes seemed to burn as they regarded the sun setting before them, "the other day I was talking to my Aunt." Lilly inclined her head toward Miley, and the brunette knew she had her friend's full attention, "I've been feeling, not quite right recently, kind of swimming in all these strange feelings. And I need to talk to you about this."
Lilly had now turned her whole body around so that she was facing Miley completely. Miley's eyes lost track of the horizon and they skirted down to where her hands held onto her balcony rail, tightly so that the knuckles showed up whiter than normal. Lilly placed her hand over one of Miley's and her fingers curled carefully over those of her friend's.
The corners of Miley's mouth twitched, and she looked up to meet Lilly's eyes, "Dolly told me that I'd better get to livin'." Lilly's eyes widened and Miley obviously sensed that she needed to translate, "I need to live my life to the full, because it's precious and I should be enjoying myself. I'm making myself miserable and those who love me are suffering as well, including you, I think."
"…not suffering." Lilly mumbled and Dolly smiled to herself as Lilly replied with adamant sincerity. The blonde girl was just as cute as she always had been.
Miley laughed, and the sound carried across to Dolly vividly in its brightness, "You're so cute." Miley stated, mirroring her Aunt's thoughts of a moment ago. Her eyes still bounced with the previous life her laughter had held, until they turned darker as she returned to her serious demeanor.
"Lilly, I wish you weren't so cute." Lilly looked up, yet didn't say anything, and only watched Miley steadily, "I wish you weren't so beautiful, or funny and kind." Miley continued, her voice moving faster now and rising slightly as her thoughts unraveled, "I wish you didn't make me laugh so much that it hurt, or cry so hard when you're not around. I wish that I didn't feel so twisted inside whenever I know that I can't just reach out and touch you whenever I want. I wish I didn't catch my breath whenever I think about you."
Miley's hold of the banister relinquished with the hand that Lilly wasn't holding, and she dragged it through her tangled mane of brown curls, "Aunt Dolly told me that I'd better get to livin', and I don't want to waste one more minute of this life pretending that I'm not crazily in love with you."
"…Love?" Lilly repeated, her voice hoarse as if she had just lost the ability to breathe herself.
"I'm sorry."
"Why?"
"Why do I love you? Lilly, you lift my feet off the ground and spin me around…" Miley choked as she trailed off and moved away from her friend, her hands flew to her face and scraped her cheeks, before running through her hair, pushing it away from her face.
Lilly followed Miley closely with her eyes, watching her friend apparently fall apart before stepping nearer, "No. I mean, why are you sorry?"
"…What?" Miley's voice had fallen and it was barely audible.
"I-I think I agree, with your Aunt." Lilly stuttered and it seemed to Dolly that the teen was stumbling in her words and movements as her body trembled dangerously whilst she moved ever closer to Miley. "I think you'd better get to livin'." Lilly said slowly, carefully putting out the words to Miley, to make her understand.
The girls were now just inches apart, and separated only by a wall which was quickly coming down. Miley swallowed as she took the first step, her fingers fluttering as they reached up to touch and then press against Lilly's cheeks. The blonde girl moved timidly forward until their torsos were almost pushed together and her hands rested on Miley's waist. Miley smiled and Lilly reassured her by nuzzling her nose against the tip of Miley's. Then they were kissing, slowly and nervously, as if neither had kissed another before. A sudden silence, a sudden heat, as their hearts leapt in a giddy whirl, which ended in sudden laughter on their drawing away and full vivacious life finally returned to Miley's eyes.
Dolly turned away, she didn't need to see anymore. Silently smiling to herself she retraced her footsteps along the beach, unwilling to be the one who would disturb their moment.
There would be times when they would all discuss this together, as a family, Dolly was certain. Yet, it was not to be then, and she would leave Miley as she was – living her life to the full.