The breeze is sweet against my cheeks. I never noticed how the gate at the far end of the yard is weathered. The trees are overgrown its almost scary how this place is starting to look abandoned.
Sara, What are you doing? She calls out to me her hair flowing around her, shine bright from the sun. Her blonde curls twirling just right. I can almost reach her perfect reflection in my mind. I can never get her eyes right. They are a honey color, never dark. Young features, with a touch of pink on her cheeks. She was young, to young.
Its not your fault. Don't blame yourself. She doesn't understand how I feel. I just want her back, I want to be able to touch her hand. Feel her breath when she whispers into my ear. Kiss her smooth lips. She always smelled of warm grass. I used to think she would always love me, always be there. No I'm here and she's gone.
No I'm still here. Not physically. I need to be held by her. I need to feel her hair on my arm when she lays there next to me. I told her my life, she knew me from the inside out. I knew her in return.
You knew everything. Why are you doing this to yourself? I'm just doing what I know now. I'm laying here in her impression of the long grass, mine is now empty. She was always taller. My legs were never able to push myself as fast as her when we ran together. She would never go faster though. She held my hand and stayed.
Of course. She would always give me the bigger half of the cookie. She would always let me go first. We would do anything together. From sleep overs, to walking through the school halls holding hands. They all knew we were in love. She never wanted to let anyone know, I should have kept our secret. This wouldn't have happened.
No, Im glad everyone knew my feelings for you Sara. I would have screamed it out at the top of her lungs over the bridge to the world. She wanted the secret to be between us. I never felt right about lying to everyone. I wanted them all to know the love I had for her. She was afraid of what they would think or do. But if I knew what would happen to her, know would have found out. My heart chills in the cold grass. I lie with wet eyes motionless as the sun hits my face. She would have wiped my tears, and told me to stop. I need to get control of myself. She's not here anymore. Gone like her voice singing in the shower. Now when the warm water hits my body I try not to remember it. I don't want to remember the tears we share or the times we laughed together. Cause the pain in my chest is to strong when it knows I'm missing something.
Looking away, the grass in my fingers feels damp. Like the grass was crying before I got here. They miss her too.