And I realize you're mine
Indeed a fool of mine
Heaven smiles above me
What a gift here below
But no one knows
A gift that you give to me
No one knows
Queens of the Stone Age
Harry and Hermione sat in the Gryffindor common room; the room was empty but for they two. Ron had gone off to practice for Quidditch and Harry, though his ban was lifted had decided not to go back to his favorite sport. He was too conflicted about all of the crazy things happening around him.
The prospect of having to murder Voldemort was one thing. Trying to pass NEWT level classes was completely another. Throw on top of that the strange feelings he was going through in regards to a particular Slytherin and it was far too much to deal with in one term at Hogwarts.
He'd been holding it in too long. It had been weeks since it first happened, under the Quidditch stadium, going to watch Ron practice. It had happened again, only a few days ago in a hidden corridor of the castle. He hadn't said a word about it to anyone, couldn't bring himself to face it.
But here he was, alone with an audience who would listen and who could give advice. He blurted out the words before he could stop them and sat in embarrassed silence. "Draco Malfoy kissed me." He said, looking at his shoes as if they were Hermione.
"Was it pleasant?" She asked shyly, after a moment of quiet.
He shook his head and looked at her annoyed. "I just told you Malfoy kissed me and all you can think to ask is: was it pleasant?"
"Well, was it?" She pressed.
He shook his head, trying to get the taste of Draco's sweet breath out of his mind. This couldn't be happening. He couldn't have actually enjoyed those kisses, and yet he had let it happen twice. He had found himself wanting to see Draco all alone in a darkened corridor or under the Quidditch pitch. "It's Draco Malfoy." He said angrily. "How pleasant do you think it could be?"
"That's very avoidant of you Harry." Hermione replied pointedly.
Avoidant or not, he wasn't going to answer. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back in his chair. He should never have told Hermione. He shouldn't have told anyone. He should have kept this dark, little secret to himself.
Hermione looked at him with the annoyance of a teacher correcting a child who is far brighter than they act. "You know Harry, talking about it will help."
"Thank you very much Hermione." He answered simply. "Talking doesn't help anything."
"Just tell me what it was like." She said.
"I'm not going to talk about this anymore." He said. He looked away, out the window at the snow swirling slowly. He wanted to leave, find the DA room and blow off some steam. He stood about to do so when Hermione cast the leg-locker curse on his legs.
"I don't think so." She said. "You're going to sit right here," she moved a chair under his bottom and forced him down, his legs still locked, "and tell me what happened."
"You are evil, aren't you?"
She smiled brightly. "Talk." She commanded, her wand pointed at him in a threatening fashion.
He looked away from her sullen, his jaw jutting in a pouting way. "It's stupid."
"It's not stupid Harry. It was an experience that you obviously wanted to talk about; otherwise you wouldn't have blurted it out. Think of me as an objective listener, like a psychologist and just tell me what happened."
He took a deep breath. "I was walking down to the Quidditch pitch to watch Ron practice. I was alone and it was rather dim out because of all the dark clouds. It was starting to rain and I almost turned around and went back in but I saw Malfoy, leaning against the wooden post on the way in. He was watching Ron and I wanted to know what he was up to. I approached him slowly and I asked him what he was doing there. He was snippy as usual…"
"Is that a problem Potter?" Draco spat.
"Malfoy this isn't the time or place." Harry replied.
"Is there a time or place?" He replied tartly.
Harry sighed heavily. "I don't want to get into this with you."
Draco looked at him for a long moment. Something was stirring within him and all the childish rivalry, all of the "I hate you" attitude had turned into something else. It was like children in the school yard who push each other down because they want to get close to one another. He slugged a punch at Harry, regretting it the moment he did.
Harry hit the ground, his robes covered in mud. He ran a hand through his hair, slicked back by the rain and his scar showed vividly on his forehead. Draco stared at it and Harry went to slide his bangs back over it. Draco caught his hand mid-swipe as he leaned over the boy sprawled in the mud.
Something warm was sliding into the pit of Harry's stomach, an emotion he couldn't fathom. Draco's touch had set it off and now as Draco traced his scar lightly with the tip of his pale white finger he wanted to give in to that feeling. He wanted to be filled with this warm sensation, from head to toe and beyond.
He touched the scar with a kind of reverence, intruding on territory few would dare to even ask about. The sacred scar that had forever marked this boy as the Dark Lord's enemy and equal held Draco's interest. He had always wanted to touch it, to understand how it had transformed this boy he dreamed about into someone so powerful, so desirable.
Draco wasn't sure how it happened but while his finger followed the lightning bolt pattern his lips grazed Harry's cheek and then they had found their mark, on the mouth of the Boy Who Lived. The kiss was deep and sweet and exactly how he had imagined every night as he lay on his bed in the dungeon dormitory of Slytherin.
He pulled away quickly, fearing that someone would see him and ran away without glancing back at the boy he had just kissed. Harry sat, dumbfounded in the mud and unable to move.
Hermione looked at Harry, searching for some sense of emotion. He was cool on the surface, relaying the facts as if they had happened to someone else. Yet she could see underneath that composed demeanor lay a boiling pit of feelings, waiting for a landslide to erupt.
"And then what?" She prompted softly.
"It happened again." Harry said quietly. "Just a few days ago. I was walking alone down the DA corridor, thinking about practicing some jinxes and there he was, standing there like he knew I was coming…"
"Potter." Draco said coldly.
"Malfoy." Harry replied.
"What are you doing here?" He asked.
"Just walking." Harry said, trying to remain calm and collected.
Draco looked at him fondly in a moment's indiscretion. He stepped over to him and laced his fingers through his favorite boy's hair. "Just walking?" He asked, this time pouring some of his affection into his words.
Harry breathed heavily. "Yes." He sighed, leaning in to the kiss that Draco was offering him. A noise jerked them away from each other. It was only Mrs. Norris, Filch's creepy cat, but it had been enough to disturb them. Harry put his hand gently to Draco's cheek and the blond boy kissed his hand.
"Some other time." Draco said hopefully.
"Some other time." Harry said with a light smile.
"I'm not supposed to like him." Harry said, snapping out of his memory. "I can't like him."
"You shouldn't like him." Hermione said. "But…"
"But I do." He finished.
"And you want him to kiss you again?" She said, with scarcely any emphasis on the question.
He looked at her, silent for a moment. He wanted to say no, but he knew that Hermione had already seen the truth. "Yeah. I guess I do."
"Then kiss him again, Harry."
"That's so… I'm not… I can't…" He said, interrupting himself as new thoughts took precedence over the old.
Hermione looked at Harry aware that the leg locker she had placed on his legs had worn off by now. He could jump up and run away at any moment and she wanted to ensure him that her friendship was more important than sexuality and more important than that she would be there for him.
"Harry." She said. "I don't know how to help you. It's strange and definitely weird but not because it's a boy. It's because it's Malfoy. But maybe he does have a good side and maybe you can bring that out in him simply because you… you like him."
He was quiet, contemplating Hermione's words. Maybe he could bring out the good in Malfoy with his sweet kisses and warm embraces. Maybe he could open up his heart by trusting him and loving him. He stood, feeling the warmth returning to his legs. He smiled at his dear friend. "Thanks Hermione."
He walked from the Gryffindor common room and headed towards the DA corridor, thinking about blowing some steam off with his wand in the DA room. He was about to open the Room of Requirement when a drawling voice called out behind him.
"What are you up to now Potter?" Malfoy said.
Harry turned and found that they were alone. "Follow me." Harry said. He opened the door and stepped within finding the room lit dimly with candles. In the center was a red, velvety sofa for two people. The door closed behind him as Malfoy entered and Harry sat on the couch.
Draco walked around the room, looking at the marble walls and the floating candles, hanging in midair. He stepped over to Harry and sat, taking the other boy's hands in his own. "What is this?" He asked.
"This is the one place where we can be together, the way I think we'd both like to be together." Harry replied.
Draco smiled. "It's nice, but isn't this the room you were using to train students in?"
"It is, but no one will find it here when we're in it. It's for necessity only."
"And because we need to keep this," Draco said, kissing Harry's hand, "secret, we won't be found?"
"No." Harry replied, grazing his lips over Draco's cheek and nibbling gently on his ear. "We can keep this a secret as long as we want." He whispered.
Draco smiled and found himself in the warmest of embraces. "Harry?" He asked softly, pulling gently out of Harry's arms.
"Yes?"
"Why exactly did you decide to bring me here?"
Harry smiled. "Because I know that somewhere inside of you is a really good person and that somewhere inside of me is a person that loves you so much and has no idea how to explain it." Harry laughed and looked down at his hands. "Of all the unlikely pairings in the world Draco, you have to admit we're near the top of the list."
"Ginny and Flitwick." Draco joked.
Harry rolled his eyes. "McGonagall and Snape." He retorted.
Both boys laughed and the sound was refreshing. Here they were, sharing a moment that didn't include fists or jinxes and they had never been happier. "I suppose we'll have to act like we hate each other outside of this place." Draco mused.
"One day at a time." Harry said. "Do you think anyone is ready for this? Do you honestly think we're ready for this?"
Draco's hand found Harry's and he squeezed. "We have to be Harry."
Harry kissed him then, full of passion and promise, wanting this moment to last as long as it could. He knew they would share many such encounters in this room, sitting on the red, velvety couch. Each time their kisses would become more desperate, their faked hatred outside of the room needing to be resolved in soft words and embraces that would have to last days once they left the room.
On one such occasion they decided to mark each other, a sign of their commitment that would help them through the harsh words they threw at each other in front of their friends. Harry kissed the spot on Draco's hip where he placed the tip of his wand and prepared to brand his love with a symbol he felt appropriate.
Draco cried out as the wand burnt into his flesh. When Harry removed his wand a perfect picture in red and green remained, livid on the skin. It was a tiny snake curled around a heart, wrapping it in its cool coils, just like Draco had wrapped himself around Harry's heart.
Draco smiled and pulled out his wand to mark his lover with his own special symbol. He placed the wand tip onto Harry's hip, the same spot that was now marked on his own body. He concentrated deeply and the wand burned Harry's flesh with Draco's chosen symbol. He pulled his wand away and Harry was surprised.
Where before there had been clean flesh, unsullied by mark or scar now there were two initials, D. M. and a faint outline of a lion behind them. Harry smiled. It was sweet and very like Draco to mark his property with his initials. He now belonged to the boy he pretended to hate outside of this room and that boy belonged to him.