I Won't Let You Go
She stands in between the Amity field, the wheat reaches up to her waist. Her beautiful blonde hair shines in the brilliant, brilliant bright sun, and her blue eyes sparkle in the light. Her lips her turn into a smile, a smile which he rarely saw on her face. His heart clenches in pain when he hears her laugh. He walks toward her, reaching out in an attempt to touch her effortlessly. And she moves further away with his every step, maintaining the distance between them.
"Tobias," she says his name like it's a song. Her smile doesn't falter, her expression turns serene. She is his, but so different. Unhindered and very desperate, he continues to walk toward her. And finally she decides to stands still.
When he's close to her, his body towers over her, shading her from the sun; she looks up into his eyes. All along he had wanted to hold her and not let go, but now that he is right in front of her with a mere inches of distance between them, his fingers tremble and he hesitates. He doesn't want her to disappear at his touch.
"Tris," he whispers instead, his voice chokes on emotion and it sounds and feels like he hasn't spoken in days. He doesn't realize that he's crying until he hears it.
"Tobias," she repeats, her hands reach up and cup his face. She leans up on her toes; he places his hands on her hips and pulls her closer. He waits for her to disappear, just like she always does.
"I didn't want to leave you," she whispers and touches his lips with her thumb.
He doesn't ask her why, because he knows why she did it. Instead he replies, "I know . . ." The fact that she hasn't left him yet, still there with him in his arms gives him hope. He feels stupid, but holds onto it. Maybe this time she'll stay, and they can make it through.
"I love you," she says and places her lips on his. Her lips merely graze against his, and before he even has the time to respond to her touch and words, he wakes up.
They aren't in the fields, and Tris isn't there with him. Instead he's all alone in his room, sweating and hot tears roll down his eyes. Feeling weak, he forces himself out of the bed and stands over the basin in his bathroom. He doesn't look at himself until he splashes his face with water. When he's sure that he doesn't look like a crying mess, he looks up. The person staring back at him is him, and yet not. His face is haggard and scruffy, his eyes hold dark bags underneath vouching for his insomnia, his hair is longer than it has ever been, and the worst part are his eyes. He doesn't find anything in them. They are just so empty. . .
"Be brave, Tobias . . ." He hears her voice in his head. She repeats the same words he used to tell her once upon a time ago. It feels like a millennium has passed, but it has only been days. It all sounds like such a joke now, but he doesn't dismiss her words. He stands over the sink, looking down, clutching to the sides to prevent his arms from trembling and breathes in deeply until his heartbeat goes back to its normal state and nothing but hollowness is left behind.
"Be brave," he says to himself.
After a moment, he goes back to the bed. He lies down, but he doesn't close his eyes. He doesn't fall asleep. He is too afraid to face what he might see on the other side of consciousness. He's too afraid of the person he will meet, and he's sure – he fears that he isn't that brave after all.
And that scares him so much more.
AN: Here's my first Divergent fanfiction. It's been a while since I wrote anything; I hope this isn't too bad. Let me know what you guys thought of it. =)