Authors Note: I did a little one-shot because the idea was stuck in my head. please read and review. I don't own Sailor Moon.
Water fell from the sky in sheets. A cold reality, one gifted only for me, on the day you left me. If I was a better woman, I would have noticed that. Yet, I couldn't see. My heart wouldn't look past the loneliness, since, in my eyes, I was baggage. Cast aside and left to fend for myself. I'd always felt as if my soul reason in life, was merely because no one would want me. A person unladylike, unpolished and untamed. I hadn't yet known about my powers at that time, but I can safely say now, I think the rain was the tears I couldn't shed. The thunder carrying my quiet screams, the lightning unleashing my self imposed fury.
I am, Kino Makoto. Sailor Senshi of thunder and lightning.
I'm brute strength,
I am the one who carries out the wishes of lonely maidens,
who seek nothing more,
than a true,
pure love.
A love that right now, I don't think will come for me. If I believed it would, than I think I would stop fighting, simply awaiting when that person, so special and kind would come for me, holding out their hand. They would be gentle. Smiling at me softly. "Welcome home!" They would say with enthusiasm as I entered our abode. If I had groceries from shopping, they'd take them from my hands, if I was cooking dinner, they would watch from the door or the chair. "Do you want help?" I know that out of kindness, they would ask me this. I would simply shake my head, and go about being the proper woman.
They wouldn't mind much, that I'm tall. Perhaps, they'd even like that part of me. In the shower or bath, they'd wash my back. In the dead of night, they'd hold me closely. If they'd permit me, I think every now and then, I'd become weak for them. Only for them. Perhaps I'd cry after we'd made love, because I would be happy. The next day, life would begin again, and we would continue struggling for our hopes and dreams together. If this person came along, they'd ask for my hand in marriage. I might even have a child or two...
Then...then I would tell them my most important secret.
It's funny really. I could never be in love, because if I was, I'd never be able to tell them. How could I? I would break the heart of that person, because that love could never be. I would never be able to reach out, and even if I did, I know in utmost honesty, that I would fail. I think that's why, I look for the loves that I can let go of.
Still, there's one person I can't. No matter how I try.
Hey, do you remember the broken girl you left behind? Do you remember the day I put my hand out, and couldn't reach you anymore? Do you remember that rain? The clashes of thunder? The boom of the lightning? If you do, that's me. That's my soul, calling for you. Letting you know what you've done. Letting you know how badly you've hurt me. However, let it be known, thunder roars.
I will protect Usagi.
I will cherish Ami.
I will confide in Rei,
and sometimes,
I will fight with Minako.
I will grow stronger.
The power within my hands, the drumming beats in my heart, will never forget you. Hell, I'll even thank you. It's because of you, that I fight so hard. Justice may be damned by the person wielding it, but love, it can never be mistaken. With this power, with my strength, I'll make my life my own. So, thank you.
Thanks, for making me realize what I hadn't noticed all along.
Love isn't about ideals. it's not about the perfect date, and sometimes, you can't reach out and grab what you want most. Sometimes, with love, you have to stand, and watch from afar. You have to treat girls nicely, but if you baby them, they'll never know what it means, to become strong. Love, it isn't just what I dream about every night. It's about what I fight for every day. It's what I see, when I look at her. Love, it may just find me yet, but, even if it doesn't I'll be happy. Because love is more than I thought I ever knew.
Sempai, you really were ahead of me, weren't you?
Did you know these things?
Sometimes, when I look at a boy, who looks like you, I wonder that.
I'll be waiting for you, Sempai.
I still need you, not as a lover, but as a teacher.
I wish you would come back, and show me more of this world I know so little about.
But...
I know you won't. I know I'm on my own. So I'll teach others the same things you've taught me. Unlike you though, you cruel man, I'll be kinder, and gentler, than you could ever be. I am Sailor Jupiter. Hear my cries, my wrath, and my anger, because it isn't just my voice that clashes in the wind... so listen, because you'll hear the voices of many, both with sorrow, and with pride.
Thunder roars...
And so do I.
END
