DISCLAIMER: I do not own Zoey 101 or Miley Cyrus! No no no no no no no no no no...
The seven things I hate about Logan Reese:
You're vain
Oh, there is no denying how vain Logan Reese can be. In fact, he fully deserves to have the title of Lord Vanity plastered to his forehead. He makes it seem as if it's illegal for anyone to look as good as him. He exfoliates, moisturizes, manscapes, and conditions almost everyday. I asked him on many an occasion why it's so necessary, but he'd just reply with stating how sexy he is and how it's crucial that he maintains that image. Frankly I don't understand. He's beautiful enough without the extra effort, and the excessively proud attitude seriously just takes away from his attractiveness, not add to it. In a relationship, the last time I checked, it wasn't normal for the girl to feel out-beautified by the boy (but then again, what was normal about our relationship?). Well, I guess it's not his fault he has such impressive genes, but it would be so nice if we could go one day without having to hear about it over and over and over. GOSH!
Your games
Let me ask a question: if your boyfriend switched your mocha chino coffee for hot chocolate mixed with gravy and liquid laxatives, would you think that's funny? How about if he wrote the words "I'm hot" backwards in ketchup on your chair at lunch and when you got up everyone knew just how hot your butt was when you walked to clear your tray? Well, I must just have the worst sense of humor in the world because I did not laugh one bit when Logan did those things to me. I sat and glared and reprimanded him like a thousand times, but all he did was just laugh and laugh until he ran out of oxygen. So, what did I do? Well, the one thing I knew would drive him insane: I put him on a diet—a little making out diet. That's right; my lips went no where near his for like two weeks. I got my wish because it did drive him insane, but unfortunately, it did the same thing to me. Do you think I enjoyed being two weeks without having his soft and tender kisses shower over me and warm my very core? No, I most certainly did not. That is exactly why I never gave him that punishment again, because, let's face it, he's too irresistible for his own darn good. GOSH!
You're insecure
I can never say the word insecure in Logan's presence without him getting extremely defensive. Even sometimes I can't believe it. But, I'm not one to ignore the obvious, and I can see the signs are there. At first the source of his insecurity came from Mark, my well, ex-boyfriend. There was no denying how he broke my heart, but I try not to hold it over his head and I still try to maintain a friendship with him. It may sound odd and a bit too forgiving, but I look at it this way: if it wasn't for Mark breaking my heart, I would've never fallen for Logan—well, maybe I would have, who knows, but he brought happiness to my life I wouldn't want to wait for otherwise if I stayed with Mark. Yep, it's too bad Logan didn't see it that way. If I would talk with him, sit with him, or even exchange a passers' glance, Logan would already be on his toes prepared to be the wall between us. It was absolutely ridiculous! Him not trusting me? Now that's funny! It was as if he thought Mark had something over him (well, excluding the two years we've been together) and that made him anxious and even lose some confidence in our relationship. Seriously, how ridiculous is that! Doesn't he know that I couldn't imagine being with someone else, even if I wanted to? GOSH!
You love me, you like her
If I would have known becoming Logan Reese's girlfriend meant having to deal with all his past flames I would've never—no, wait. We all know I would still be with him regardless. But still, it doesn't mean that that eases my annoyance to see a skinny blonde wink in his direction or attempt to slip a letter in his pocket or try to program her number into his phone—and the fact that I would be literally standing right next to him while doing this didn't stop them at all. The worst part was that Logan would actually enjoy the attention of those skanky temptresses. "She's cute." "She's hot." "Her hair is really silky." Please, he probably thinks I don't overhear the conversations he has with Chase and Michael, but I do, oh I do. Do you know how annoying it is to know your boyfriend likes other girls? He loves me…I know that, but that doesn't stop him from being attracted to other girls and that kills me. I can build a freakin photon generator in my sleep but I can't create something that'll stop his love toward the opposite sex. GOSH!
You make me laugh, you make me cry
I don't know which side to buy
When me and Logan finally took our relationship public, I was absolutely drowning in Lola's and Zoey's (mostly Lola's) warnings of who Logan was and the ways that he could hurt me. Yes, he can be a jerk, I know! I know! No one knows that better than me. For the first two and a half years of our somewhat friendship he would be nothing more than a jerk to me. His uncanny ability at being a pompous idiot was more than relevant. He would shoot a smart remark my way, and I would more than get him back by either humiliating him in the slyest way possible or taking a major jab at his ego (I think we all remember the "spaz" incident). No one knew how to exact revenge on Logan like I did…but no one knew how to hurt my feelings like he did. I can't believe the times he used to make me infuriated over the things he told me. Because of that, I guess it's only right that Zoey and Lola are concerned about our relationship, but what they don't understand is how he truly makes me feel. Heck, even I don't think I understand, and I have an IQ of freakin' 177! Ever since he comforted me after Mark, well you know, broke up with me, he for some reason allowed me to see that other side of him, the side that's completely polar to his normal malevolent self. He would be so considerate of my feelings, ask me how my day was, and perform these small gestures like holding my hand or buying me lunch or sneaking me into the janitor's closet for a romantic getaway that would make my heart soar and show me how much he cared. If I'm sad, he would do everything in his power just to make me laugh—even though seeing him trying to read my Latin dictionary was humorous enough. Even now, seven months into this alternate universe of a relationship, he still manages to make me smile—which also means he manages to still hurt my feelings or make me angry in some way by either blowing me off or staring at a member of the opposite sex for too long. It makes me wonder sometimes: which side is the real him: the jerk or the sweetheart? Why can't the sweetheart part of his brain just pummel the jerk part and leave us all happy? GOSH!
Your friends, their jerks
When you act like them
Just know it hurts
I want to be with the one I know
I think we all remember that time about a month ago when Logan got re-accepted into the Silver Hammer Society—well, how could we forget? He acted like a major douchebag! I'm not sure if it was his constant sucking up or the check they mysteriously received, but we all were there when he got tapped and everything. My reaction was of course different from the rest of our friends; they were heavily against the society after what happened last year with Zoey, Michael, and Lola, but I knew how much Logan dreamt of this moment so I was happy for him, supported him. Too bad all my happiness and support got flushed down the toilet as soon as I saw how much it started changing him for the worst. I know, I know, we all thought the same thing: how could he get any worse? Well, it was just small things like picking on the lower classmen more than usual, or disrespecting the teachers and faculty, or that one time when he bribed the janitor to air dry his underwear. But, he always bribed people to do things so that wasn't a big deal—or so it seemed. It was only a matter of time before the extreme came, and he did something no one would've expected he'd do: turn on his friends.
At first he switched his seat at our lunch table and began sitting with the Silver Hammers. Then he'd switch his seat in American Literature, Calculus, and even Physics where he had me. ME, his girlfriend. He'd blow off our group dinners at Sushi Rox, flake out on reports and projects when he had us as partners, and basically every little event we had with each other he'd cancel. Honestly, it was better when he canceled because when he was there he'd be more than a jerk than usual. He'd openly say "Zoey's too fat" or "Lola's too skinny" or say how not funny Michael's jokes were (okay, sure, I don't laugh at them either, but it was still rude how he said it), or how Chase dressed like an idiot and his hair always blocked his sunlight. Every time we asked him a question he responded with a very rude and unappreciated answer; for example, Chase wrote a song played on his guitar for Zoey's birthday, and when he asked Logan how it sounded, he said "like a cheap imitation of acoustic rock performed by two chipmunks on crack". Yeah, harsh, I know. But the absolutely worse part was when he started treating me like…like he did two and a half years ago. I was reduced to nothing more than a "science nerd" in his eyes and it hurt, a lot more than I could say. I mean, where was the sweet and funny guy that I loved?
After that, even I had to agree with everyone else that Logan wasn't worth it, so we just shut him out completely. What else were we supposed to do? Well, this plan only lasted for like a week because everyone started feeling the same way I did: we missed the old Logan. We came to the decision that it was the stupid Silver Hammers' fault and came up with an even better plan to get him back. Everywhere he went, we (or I) installed a spy lens in five sunglasses and at least one of us followed him everywhere. After getting on camera how much of a mega jerk he'd become, we (or again I) transferred it to DVD and (after some threats and physical violence) tied Logan up to a chair in the boys' dorm room and forced him to watch it. I didn't admit how painful it was for me to watch it myself, but just for the record, it was. So, after we finished he was surprisingly silent, and we settled it with the classic ultimatum: either he quits the Silver Hammers and be our friend again, or we shut him out for the rest of our lives (including me). We decided not to stick around, you know to make him think a little, and walked out leaving him alone.
The next day the five of us met at Sushi Rox like every normal Friday and we honestly didn't know what to expect (well, except for Lola who was almost positive he didn't change). Well, to our surprise he entered the restaurant finally wearing his normal clothes instead of those weird sweater vests and extremely white pants. After about a minute or so of awkward silence, he finally spilled it all and apologized for everything that happened the past few weeks. To our amazement, he didn't leave out one detail as he listed every wrongful act he did to us. It was a seriously out-of-character moment for Logan, but then again so was the past month. In the end, we had to deliberate, and after agreeing that he got the most brutal payback we could think of, we forgave him. I thought it was finally the end of it, but it wasn't as Logan took my hand and lead me to his side. In front of the whole restaurant—staff, friends, everything—he announced how much he loved me and how sorry he was for being such a jerk to me. After professing his love one more time, he got down on bended knee—no kidding—and gave me a ring. Lola fainted before he got a chance to finish, and it was actually a promise ring, no engagement whatsoever (I'm only sixteen and a half, people!). He promised never to hurt me that way ever again and gave me the most passionate kiss EVER. Having it truly been the best day after horrible days ever, we stood in that one spot and, well you know…made out without caring other people were there. Our friends thought it was best that they left us alone so Michael dragged Lola out and eventually it was just the two of us. I finally had my Logan back, but don't think I didn't give him my own personal punishment for hurting me. No, it wasn't the make-out diet thing, because like I said, I can't handle that one, either. GOSH!
And the seventh thing I hate the most that you do…
Logan Reese, if you are reading this, then you are completely exposed to how I feel. You drive me more insane then anyone else in this world. You are inconceivably arrogant, you have the tendency to flirt with other women which bugs the crap out of me, you play more pranks than anyone I know, and you…you…well, let's just say you're a jerk (man, I wonder how many times I've used that word today). But, despite all that, despite how angry and frustrated you make me, there's one thing I can't deny:
You make me love you
A/N: Well, I hope you liked it. I love that Miley Cyrus song and to me it screamed Quogan. Well, I have a whole lot more typing to do with my other story, so hastala-bye bye!
REVIEW