Ok, here it is. My first posted fan fiction. I hope you all like it, but please be nice cause like I said it's my first one. Constructive criticism is wanted so go ahead and tell me what I did right, or wrong. Note: I don't own any of the characters nor do I own Twinkies. I'm not getting paid, which explains why I have no money, and since I have no money it won't do you any good to sue me so please don't. And now without further ado adam_bat proudly presents…
Hijinx Gone Pink
'Ah, sweet Twinkies' thought Beast as he gazed at the box sitting on the top shelf of the pantry. He was tempted to just scale the tall steel shelf, but refrained at remembering the Professor's statement that, "shelves are not for climbing, especially when stepladders are handy". It had been a very long time since the professor had first spoken these words, but Hank knew it would still stand.
"I doubt this structure could handle my weight anyway."
He sighed and retrieved the ladder from the utility closet.
As he set it up he muttered," the problem with living in a household with so many people is you need a lot of space to store the provisions they consume." He reached the top shelf and continued, "and thus high shelves to store it on. Nevertheless my goal is achieved and the rewards are…" He opened the box and discovered only a single plastic wrapped cake remained. "A single Twinkie." He frowned, "Bobby must have been up here too. Ah, well one is certainly better than none." He climbed down the ladder, Twinkie box in hand.
Placing the box on the counter he went to put away the ladder.
Just as he closed the closet door Bobby walked in. "Hey Hank what's this gizmo do?" He handed Beast an invention that the blue furred genius had just finished that morning. "That my friend," Beast started, "is…"
"Hey!" Bobby interrupted, "Twinkies!!!"
"Yes," Beast responded, "but there is only one and it is mine."
He headed to claim the cake but found he couldn't move. He glanced down and saw a huge ice block had formed around his feet and frozen him to the tile.
"Tough luck Hank." Iceman shrugged, "guess the last one's mine." He walked to the counter.
"Not so fast." Beast told him an activated his new invention. The small device shot a cable out that coiled itself around Bobby from head to foot and he promptly fell to the floor.
"What the heck is this?" He said struggling against the rope.
"It is an elastic cord with the capacity to accept force and build tension in order to stretch but not break. It is made of a durable synthetic material resistant to extreme temperature and pyrotechnics."
"Huh?" Bobby asked confused.
"It's a weather and fire resistant bungee cord." Beast smiled as he watched Iceman try to freeze the cord without success.
"Come on Hank take it off." Bobby pleaded from the floor, squirming about trying to escape.
"So you can take the last Twinkie?" Beast pulled on his legs, "Unghh. I think not." He scratched his head and tried to figure out how to free himself. Just then Logan walked in. He ignored the two and went straight to the fridge. He dug around for a while and growled. "Aint never anything good ta snack on in here." He closed the fridge and glanced around. He smiled when he was the box on the counter. "Hmmm." He walked over and took out the last Twinkie.
"Hey!" Bobby and Beast yelled. Logan ignored them, unwrapped the Twinkie and popped the whole thing into his mouth. He tossed the wrapper and turned to leave.
"Why you!" Bobby yelled. He crawled along the floor like an inchworm after Logan. "Get back here!" Logan left, shutting the door in Bobby's face. "YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE TWINKIES!!" He yelled at the closed door.
"He did it just to spite us." Hank sighed glancing at the now empty box on the counter.
"Yeah?" Bobby squirmed around to face Hank, "Well I'm not gonna let him get away with it. Get me outta this Hank." He crawled to Beast.
"Well now that the spoils are lost I suppose the battle is at an end." He bent down and freed his friend. "Now if you would be so kind as to release me." Bobby stood up and began thawing Beast's feet.
"We aren't gonna let him get away with it are we?"
Beast shook off his feet and looked at his friend. "Of course not. An act of war has been committed and I believe an alliance on our part will ensure retribution for our lost prize." He scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Now the task is to see what we can do to pay our dear friend back."
"How bout we hog tie him with that cord of yours and throw him into the pool?" Bobby suggested.
"Well it would be an interesting sight, but I doubt my cord here is a match for adamantium." Beast mused, "besides, a simple prank will hardly serve to bring about justice, no what we need is…" His face lit up as a plan came to mind, "I may have something that will do the trick. Quickly to my lab!" He ran out the doorway leaving Iceman dumbfounded at Beast's rise from thoughtful to ecstatic. He quickly recovered and ran after his friend.
"Hey wait!"
Iceman found Beast digging thru drawers and rummaging in cabinets. "I know it's around here somewhere." He said aloud.
"What is?" Bobby asked.
"Ah Ha!" Beast exclaimed, "This!" He proudly displayed what appeared to be a ring box.
"Your gonna marry him?" Bobby grinned.
Beast rolled his eyes and opened the box. Lying in the soft felt was what looked like a gel cap medicine.
"Ohh." Bobby said with false enlightenment, "you're going to poison him."
Beast's eyes went wide with shock, "Of course not. You certainly are being morbid aren't you?"
Bobby shrugged. "Hey he took the last Twinkie."
"Well no, it is not poison. I'm afraid it is a ruined experiment that I decided to keep around. I was trying to create a fast acting tranquilizer but…" He trailed off.
"But what?" Bobby asked.
"My calculations were off and instead I ended up with a compound capable of changing skin and hair pigment." He smiled at Bobby who smiled back.
"What color?" Bobby asked envisioning the plan.
"Pink." Hank chuckled. They both grinned from ear to ear.
Logan was in the rec room watching TV with Scott. Hank and Bobby entered, carefully masking their intentions. Each knew the plan and was prepared to do their part. "What if he smells it?" Bobby had asked minutes before.
"I don't believe it has much of a scent once dissolved." Beast responded as he hid the small capsule in his hand.
"I hope not." Was all Bobby could say.
He gulped slightly remembering the conversation.
"Are you ready?" whispered Hank.
"Yeah." Bobby responded and strode up to Logan blocking his view of the television.
"Move Drake." Logan said.
Bobby hesitated a few seconds before complying. He stepped out of the way so Logan could see. He sat down in a chair nearby and began glaring at Logan. Scott eyed him suspiciously then said, "I hope you know Storm cleaned up that mess you left in the kitchen." Bobby didn't reply. He just kept staring at Logan. Logan glanced his way a couple of times but ignored it.
This went on for a few minutes or so before Logan spoke up.
"What're you lookin' at Drake?" He growled. Bobby said nothing. "Whatever." Logan said and turned back to the TV. Suddenly a huge snowball smacked him on the side of the face. "WHY YOU!!" Logan yelled and they both stood up. Cyclops immediately got up and tried to mediate the situation.
"That's what you get!" Iceman yelled.
"Yer dead Drake." Logan yelled. *SNIKT* his claws came out. Scott quickly grabbed Logan's arm and tried to stop the fight.
While the three X-men fought Hank came from off the wall he had been leaning against. The other three were shouting and yelling and no one noticed when Hank dropped the tiny capsule into the beer sitting on the table. He smiled and then went to help Scott break up the fight.
"Iceman!" Beast yelled grabbing Drake's shoulders. "There is no need for violence come, sit down." Bobby pretended to resist but finally sat down.
"You too Logan." Scott said. Logan yanked his arm away from him and sheathed his claws. *SNAKT*
"Ya do it again and I'm gonna carve me some ice cubes." He sat down again and began to flip channels.
Scott sighed and reached for his drink. Immediately Beast stood up eyes wide open. Everyone turned to look at him and he quickly sat down again.
"Sorry," He apologized, "I thought I forgot about something but I just remembered I didn't"
Scott gave him a quizzical stare but shrugged it off.
"What's wrong?" Bobby whispered.
"I believe I've made a mistake." Beast said watching his leader prepare to drink from the glass he had just tainted.
Bobby quickly figured out what was about to happen. "Oh no." He groaned. Then he called to Scott, "Hey what are you drinking?" Scott looked at him thru red sunglasses. "Is that *gasp* beer?" Bobby pretended to be shocked.
"I'm old enough." Was Cyclops' response.
"Yeah, but…" Iceman was desperately trying to figure someway out when Logan turned on him again.
"Shut up Drake. I'm tryin ta watch TV and yer startin ta piss me off." He glared at Bobby.
"Oh please don't let me die." Hank heard Bobby whisper. He took his gaze away from Scott just in time to see Iceman hurl a huge snowball at Logan.
"YOU SHUT UP!!" He yelled. The enormous snowball smacked Logan dead in the face.
"I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!!!" Logan yelled getting up and running after Iceman who was already fleeing. Bobby ducked out the door and heard a *SNIKT* close behind. Cyclops was about to run after them then paused.
"You know what?" He said to Hank who was anxiously waiting for Scott to abandon his drink and run to stop the fight. "I'm just going to leave it alone. I don't think Logan will really hurt him anyway."
Beast's jaw dropped and he stuttered, "But, but…they could get hurt or…or…break something."
"Well the way I see it Bobby got himself into this he's old enough to get out." He paused thoughtfully, "besides he runs pretty fast." He chuckled at his own humor and took a drink.
Beast swallowed hard and watched as Scott's skin flushed over with a rosy pink color. He gaped as it spread through his hair and turned it all pink, even his eyebrows.
"Oh my stars and garter."
"What?" Scott asked staring at Hank.
"Nothing… I, I…"Beast stammered, "I just realized what I thought I forgot and then remembered, well I just remembered I did forget. So now that I remembered that its been forgotten I must go do what I forgot." He paused going over what he just said and realized it made no sense. He nodded anyway and left the room.
"For such a brilliant man," Cyclops mused draining his glass, "there are times when he just makes no sense."
Beast was hurrying down to his lab when Iceman came tearing down the hallway. They noticed each other all to late and crashed, landing in a heap on the floor.
"Beast!" Iceman gasped. He was clearly out of breath and terrified. "He's going to kill me!"
"Scott's pink!" Hank blurted out.
"WHAT? After what I just did!?!" Iceman was hysterical.
"Ain't no one gonna save you this time kid!" Logan's roar came from down the hall.
"DO SOMETHING!!!" He screamed at Beast.
"Like what?!" Beast said and saw Logan run around the corner.
"Here." Bobby handed him the machine from earlier.
Logan stalked forward arm and claws raised.
"It was him!" Bobby pleaded, pointing at Beast. "He made me do it!" He scooted backward on hands and heals. Beast sat there eyes wide open.
Logan paused and stared at both of them. "Is that so?" He growled.
"I…I…" Hank stammered, 'today is obviously not one of my most eloquent' he thought. "Sorry!" Beast yelled and fired the cord. It tangled Logan up and he fell to the floor. Iceman jumped up and created a wall between them and Logan.
"What now?" He asked turning to Hank. They both listened as Logan ripped thru the cord. Suddenly six metal claws slashed thru the ice.
"Run." Beast said simply and the two took off.
They ran down the hallway and Jean was forced to dive out of the way to avoid being run over.
"Jean! Help!" Bobby yelled as they ran by.
"Bobby? Hank?" Jean asked, confused. "Help with what?" She turned around and had to dive again to avoid Logan. "Wolverine?! What's going on?"
"Tell Cyke ta start the interviews cus were about to be two X-men short!" Wolverine yelled.
Hearing this Beast looked back to see how close Wolverine was. "Oh dear." He said and then slammed into a pedestal holding a very handsome vase. Both Beast and the vase hit the ground. Hank quickly turned to see Logan spring into the air, claws forward and prepared to shave off his famous blue hair, and possibly worse.
"HANK!!" Bobby yelled from a distance.
"ROAWRRR!!!" Logan roared and then stopped. He was suspended in mid-air and frantically trying to get at Beast.
"Bless you Jean." Hank whispered as he crawled out from under Wolverine and backed away toward Bobby.
"Let me go Jean!!" Logan roared still staring at Beast and Iceman.
"Ok," Jean said, "Everyone just calm down." She tried to figure out the best way to handle the situation when Cyclops came running up behind her.
"Jean!" He called. "Is everything all right?"
She turned to answer and then saw her husband was flushed over with pink. "Scott!" She gasped. Seeing a pink Cyclops caused her to lose her concentration and she dropped Logan. He stood up and was about to attack again when he glanced back to see what was wrong with Cyclops.
"What?" Scott asked.
"Your, your…" Jean could not form any word.
"Yer pink as a drunk elephant!" Logan laughed. Beast and Bobby both backed away slowly.
"What? What are you talking about?" Scott looked at his hand, sure enough it was rosy pink. "What happened?!" He yelled, "I'm Pink!" He felt his face. "Is my face pink too?" He asked, panicked.
"Yeah!" Logan laughed, pointing, "and yer hair and eyebrows!"
"What…what did you do?" Jean said, coming to her senses.
"Nothing. I was just drinking in the rec room." Cyclops stared at his hands. "and Bobby and Logan were fighting and Hank was acting really weird…" He paused. "Hank?" He looked up but both Beast and Iceman were gone.
Well there you have it. Did you like it? Well let me know cus it ya did I got more. Stay tuned…