Disclaimer: i don't own Stargate SG-1 i just wish i did...

A/N: the song is Given up by Linkin Park, and this is fic is for Spyridon who came up with the idea, thanks!

My lungs scream with pain as I run; I've been running for so long, I can't remember what caused me to start. The darkness is catching up with me; I can feel it seeping into my bones suffocating me. I scream, but no one hears me. My eyes shoot open, and I scurry for the bed side light to frighten off the unwanted shadows that lurk by my side.

Wake in a sweat again
Another day's been laid to waste
In my disgrace

I shake my head hoping to dispel the recent memories of my dream; at least I think it's a dream. I am stuck acknowledging the days that have been wasted continuing this facade of life, I left the team to die, and death is what I deserve as my penance.

Stuck in my head again
Feels like I'll never leave this place
There's no escape

I want it all to just go away, sitting in the bed that belongs to Jack; correction once belonged to Jack I feel the world that I once belonged to swirling in front of me. I can't escape my actions; they have taken the form of my dead friends and haunt me.


I'm my own worst enemy

I just want to escape, and each slice brings me one step closer to redemption and two steps closer to damnation. This poisoned chalice is my control, my life source against the darkness that threatened to consume me and that I fear has won. It is my fight and mine alone; I have no-one left.

I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say

They talk to me, but they aren't real. They are only figments of my imagination sent by my guilty conscience to remind me of how I failed them. I want to give up, to close my eyes and for this to all go away, this illusion of happiness that they create for me only to taunt my aching soul with.


Take this all away
I'm suffocating
Tell me what the fuck is wrong
With me

Free me! The razor cuts, releasing the darkness in my heart; I pray that it will allow my soul to return to me like a flash of light, obliterating the figments that represent the dark.

I don't know what to take
Thought I was focused but I'm scared
I'm not prepared

I'm terrified of what I've done, of what I'm doing. Sitting with the razor I thought I knew what I wanted, but now I'm not so sure, I just want to escape, but is the way to do it? As tears stroll down my face a sob catches in my throat.


I hyperventilate
Looking for help somehow somewhere
And no one cares

I'm a pressure pot, it just keeps building. It's trying to consume me whole and I feel my breathing hitch and get faster and shallower. I can't hold it back anymore, my hand forms a fist around the razor, I hardly move when I feel it cutting into the palm of my hand, or that warmth of my blood as it lows silently through my fingers, the only people I could have turned to are dead, and I killed them.


I'm my own worst enemy

This has been my own doing and my own undoing. The world has no place for me, I've lost that foothold

I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say

I just want to die, to step into oblivion, close my eyes and never feel again. I hate this, all I want to do is feel, and yet what I seek would stop me from feeling ever again.


Take this all away
I'm suffocating
Tell me what the fuck is wrong
With me

It feels like everything is on top of me and I can't escape. I can't run from my mind, and I'm trapped.

Put me out of my misery
Put me out of my misery
Put me out of my
Put me out of my fucking misery

A/N: i feel bad for having left you all for so long, so think of this as a sorry! i'm not to sure about this fic so please review, as reivews are love!