I woke up to the sun sparkling through the window in a dazzling blanket of warm light. In my sleepy state everything felt perfect; brilliant. School holidays were finished and I was going back to face my final year at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The anticipation was eating me up from the inside for many reasons. Firstly, after this year I would never have to look at another textbook ever again. Secondly, I will be able to start living my dreams and ambitions, and thirdly I will get to be close to him for another golden year.
I jumped out of my soft bed cheerfully, spinning with joy. Stumbling to a halt (still grinning) I held on to the smooth windowsill looking through the clear glass at the canvas of green. It was so beautiful. As always. My mother lived just outside London in a small cottage-like house. The location was practically secluded and I found it magically endearing. It was vibrant all around. The fruity, colourful flowers were like a rainbow on the walls. The smell was almost velvet, oozing both outside and in. I spend my whole childhood in this house. It was my favourite place in the world. It made me comfortable and I could truly be myself here.
I'm a witch, like my mother. My father is a muggle. How it worked out for them in the first place I have yet to discover. My parents are two very different people. My dad is a big shot layer who values only the material things in life. There are only two exceptions to that rule and that's me and my gran. Mum probably belonged to the list, but after their divorce he failed to acknowledge her existence. No matter what my father maybe though, he still cares for me so I never gave him a hard time about his attitude towards mum. My mother, unlike my poised father, is an eccentric child. Sometime I feel like I'm the parent in our relationship. She is fun and bubbly. There are times when I wish I was more like her. She writes novels. Not very good ones, but I still encourage her. All I want is for her to be happy. She is like my best friend.
All-in-all I still don't know the exact reason for my parents split up. They never talk about it and whenever I try to find out they tell me off for prying. The fact that my dad and my mum don't associate doesn't bother me anymore. Well, I try not to let it bother me. They had separated before I was even born. I never knew what it was like to have a family where both your parents lived in the same household. When I was little I did wish that they would get back together, so that I could have a normal family. But my wish was never granted and now I'm old enough to not wish for it at all.
I looked around my room just to memorise it. It was like a ritual, I did it every year. My soft, blue, pastel walls were covered with paintings and posters of my favourite bands. My big sofa chair was standing in the corner filled with soft toys I never dared to part with, all perfectly arranged. My desk was messed up with books and parchment. The space was cluttered but still somehow bright and airy. I breathed in the warm smell enjoying its familiarity, felling a bit sad all of a sudden. I suppressed the felling and made my way out into the corridor. I was trying my hardest to not get emotional. I knew that I wasn't going to live here after I finished school, that's why saying goodbye was so much harder this year around.
Switching back to my happy mode I all but skipped to the bathroom. Leaning on the sink I stared at my grinning reflection through the round Victorian mirror. My eye shone. They were a deep blue and complimented perfectly with my dark chestnut straight hair and heart shaped face. That's the only mystery I had. My eyes. Both my parents eyes were brown, so as my grandparents. I was the only one with blue eyes. My mum called me her special blue eyed angel when I was little. I smiled at the memory. With a quick shower, I brushed my teeth and pulled my long hair into a ponytail. Getting dressed into a simple blue vest top, skinny dark blue jeans and a grey cardigan I went downstairs for breakfast.
My mother was strangely enough - awake, attempting to fry some eggs. She never got up early, her number one hobby was to sleep. I watched her cook with entertainment, she was never a fan of the task. Her hair was all messy, pulled up in a curly bun. She was standing her back to me wearing a lime green robe. My mother is a very beautiful and young woman. She has a freckled chubby face with glossy, curly, strawberry locks. She had me when she was nineteen and I think having me made her give up some of her youth.
"Your up early, today" I said surprised.
"I can say the same for you. I haven't finished making anything yet" She was fussing all over the kitchen. Every counter was covered in eggshells, flour and many other things I didn't want to identify.
"Mum I always wake up at this time" I sat down on the stool folding my hand across my chest watching my lovable mother with amusement.
"I know" she said sounding like a child.
"So what's your excuse" I questioned, taking a sip of my orange juice.
"Well I have to make sure that I see my favourite daughter of in a perfect manner. I won't see you for another year." She was almost weeping. I had to role my eyes.
"I'm your only daughter. This is my last year. And you can always come to dads for Christmas"
She didn't answer just looked at me as if I said something completely outrageous. Dad was a taboo subject in this household. If I think about it I never seen them in the same room as far as I can remember. Mum didn't say anything as if trying to punish me with her silence. I could see it was making her uncomfortable though. I smiled to myself and like I suspected she went on with the conversation unable to keep quiet anymore.
"That's the only thing that gets me through knowing that in a year you will be finished with you education and back home where you belong" My mum always believed that after I finish school I would live with her in "isolation and peace" as she put it.
But I had ambitions I wanted to become a healer. Children's healer. I loved kids, and I loved helping people. I tried so very hard to achieve my dream. I never went to any parties or clubs. Nothing which would have distracted me. I was never invited regardless. I'm not very popular quite the opposite actually. I don't have many friends and never had a boyfriend. I am what they call a social freak. Its been always hard for me to get along with people. So instead I concentrated on what I'm good at; study and homework.
Me and mum had this conversation many times. Despite the fact that I loved my home, after I finished this year I was going to move to London. Dad said he was going to help me get a flat. Mum hated this idea, she couldn't bare me moving out. I knew she suffered more then she led on when I left to go to school. She is one of them people who craved attention, but she also only accepted familiarity. This is why I was like her rock. She had a fragile demeanour and that is why I stayed with her. But I wanted to start my life, I wanted to live my dreams and I wanted to try and do it on my own. But to this day she never acknowledged that. She was happier pretending I was coming back and I didn't want to argue with her. I felt guilty enough to burst her bubble yet again.
Mum finally finished our breakfast of omelette, toast, sausages and fruit salad. The whole kitchen was in chaos, but the gesture was lovely and surprisingly it all tasted delicious. We ate chatting lightly not focussing on the painful subjects like me moving, dad or school. I was satiated and happy by the end. Mum went upstairs to get dressed leaving me to clean up the mess. She came down wearing a pair of deep green robes. She always dressed traditionally I however was more of a muggle in my dressing preferences. I only had two robes in my closet the rest was full of cute jeans and stylish dresses from "Topshop" and "River Island". We started gathering my things and making our long journey to the station. We were going to apparate. I made sure not to forget to put my iPod into my pouch, this was another one of my muggle toys which I couldn't live without. As we stood outside the house I took another moment to appreciate its beauty. I smelled the air which was sweeter then ever. I was never going to forget this place, never.
When we got to platform 9 and ¾ everything was as I remembered. The smells, the noises, the laughter. Its been three months but to me it felt more like three days. Everyone was rushing around, in their typical fashion. The energy was addictive. The little first years were extremely cute, it seemed as if they were getting shorter by the year. Their tearful faces were saying goodbyes to their parents. My heart fell a little for them, even though I knew they were going to love Hogwarts. I could also see the older students on the platform. I scanned for the more familiar faces, immediately noticing the elite group. The IT crowd. I should have known looking at them would mean seeing him.
I spotted him without hesitation his beauty was unnerving. At that moment I saw only him freezing on the spot, even though he was surrounded by the large number of his family. His brown mahogany hair was ruffled and messy in a most seductive ways. His features were soft but at the same time strong. His lean body was like a magnet begging to be held. But what I loved about him more then anything were his eyes his emerald green eyes. My happiness, my joy of going back to school was all revolved around this moment. This precious moment when I saw him again, not on pictures but flesh like this. Kallan Potter, the boy who stole my heart.
Cheesy as it sounds its true, the only problem was he didn't know I existed. He unlike me was THE boy. The most popular, the most known, the most desired. Even despite the fact that his father is the Harry Potter; the chosen one - our saviour. Kallan's popularity is of his own making. There are so many girls who would do anything to be with him, even be seen with him at least once. He loved the attention, he loved the fuss, he fed on it. I don't even know why I like him. It almost pains me, but I cant help it. He is in fact arrogant, obnoxious, spoiled kid, who parties all the time and enjoys casual sex. Everything I dislike in a person. He knows his effect on people and he uses it and pushes it over the boundaries.
I agonised over my feelings towards him for a very long time. First I thought it was hate, then I started dreaming about him, after that I couldn't deny it so now I'm just living with it. You may think I'm like many stricken teens with a huge crush on a celebrity, but to me it always felt more then that. I don't want his wealth or his popularity. Sometimes I wish he was just normal like me so that I could get to know the real him, not the one that is playing up to the cameras. What scares me is that maybe this is the real Kal, and my taste in men is horrid.
Like I always did I brushed all of this of. I forgot about Kallan for just a second, just long enough to say goodbye to my mum. She was tagging on my arm. Worried by the expression on my face. Snapping out of my daydream I smiled at her trying to reassure her I was fine.
"Well…" I said not knowing how to continue. I hated goodbyes.
"Well. Have a good time. You know enjoy your last year, and I will see you very soon" She smiled warmly at me taking my hands and holding them securely in hers. I could see her eyes glistening. She was on the edge of tears. I felt sad too now. How could I leave her? How would she cope?
"Mum we can make that soon even sooner if you come to d…" I never got to finish my sentence. She interrupted me by squeezing my hands tighter. I wanted to cry. Why was she so stubborn? Why couldn't she and dad see eye to eye, at least for my sake. I hated their relationship now more then ever.
"Honey I will see you soon." she said forcefully.
I didn't want to spoil her mood even more so I stopped talking of Christmas. We hugged each other tightly. I loved my mother so much. I don't know why I found this so hard, I done it six times before but for some reason it was much worse now. We stood there on the spot for ages. As we broke apart mum walked me to the train door still holding my hand.
"Ok so don't forget to write. I hope you didn't forget anything. If you want me to send you something tell me ok. I'm so proud of you sweetie. I love you so much."
"I love you too mum. I'll see you soon." Soon - that word seemed so overrated.
She was crying now, silent tears were running down her face. My stomach dropped and I realised I wasn't going to see her for another nine months. The thought send acid down my thought . Tears started building in my eyes. I got into the train not wanting to see her tearful face anymore. I waved a quick goodbye in my mums direction and preceded to find a compartment.
After several minutes of roaming around I found one. I put my trunk onto the top bunk and sat down looking out the window. The tears still fresh on my cheeks. I tried to distract myself, listening to the still fresh voices of the people outside. It was almost time for the train to depart. I closed my eyes trying to focus on something pleasant. It was hard not to think of mum, and every time I did I got more and more upset. Thinking about Kallan was making me angry and depressed. Thinking of lessons was just too much even for me. A knock on the door interrupted my trail of thoughts. I turned around to see a group of people standing there laughing. It took me just a moment to realise who those people were: Angelus Weasley, Amanda Jacobs, Tanya Navanee, Karina Kavonova, Dresden Pogue, Tyler Renton and of course Kallan Potter. I stared at them in a daze, they all looked so glamorous.
"Ohh sorry" said Kal after realizing I was in the room.
Tanya was hanging on his arm laughing in his neck. This made my stomach turn. Why did she have to stand so close to him. I knew they weren't going out or anything but it still annoyed me. Kallan didn't do girlfriends, only acquaintances. However, the fact that I cared in the first place just annoyed me twice as much. They all stared at me as if wordlessly ordering me to get out. This was rude. I wasn't a push over, no matter who they were. I didn't move a flinch and after another second Kallan sighted and led his posse out to search for a different compartment. I could hear them whispering as they left.
"Why couldn't we have stayed there" Was a sweet voice of Karina, the Russian beauty. "We've been walking around this train for ages."
Long wavy chocolate brown hair surrounded her dimpled cheeks and she was a voluptuous 5"5. She was probably the nicest one from the group. She sat next to me in Potions last year and was nothing more then friendly. I noticed that she's very flexible everything is easy to her, she manages to fit into her life both study and fun, the balance I was never able to achieve. Her parents are rich of course. Her mum is the creator of "Sheer" clothing line. Its like the muggle "Chanel" or "Versace." and her dad owns several other prestige businesses.
"Did you really want to stay there" exclaimed Amanda, distaste clear in her voice.
She was the most gorgeous out of the three girl. Everything about her appearance screamed "Snow White". Her 5"6 slender figure, her coal black hair cut in a sheek shoulder length bob. Her almost paper white porcelain skin, decorated with thick long lashes and luscious red lips. But every beauty has a flaw hers was a personality of a first class bitch. She was the one who made every girl feel unworthy and not just with her presence but also with her foul mouth. Her antiques were found as a means of amusement for the rest of the group. The irony of it was that her claim to fame was that her parents sold diamonds. Her dad literally owned several diamond mines like the seven dwarfs.
"Yeah Karina are you for real do you know who she is? That's frigid no mates" that stung but I mean you can expect any thing of Dresden Pogue the school comedian.
He was the shortest of the boys at 5"8. With a nice shape up, grey eyes and caramel skin. His dad was a big authority in the American ministry of magic. His mum an ex-model and has been divorced from his dad for over five years now.
"The girl that's always in the library, she's a looser" I could hear Tyler hi five Dresden.
Tyler Renton the blond male model. He is lean, at 6"2, with icy crystal blue eyes and angular features. He is the Casanova of Hogwarts, one smile from Tyler and you turn liquid. He is remarkably skilled at transfiguration some even think he is an animagus. His dad is a keeper for the Appleby Arrows quidditch team and his mum is a very famous journalist.
"How old are you two again" This was the voice of authority, Angelus.
He was the mature, composed one. His around 6"2, medium built with thick red curly hair. He unlike the others is very timid and private. What he doesn't realise is that his mysterious personality just gives him that much more appeal. He actually went out with Karina, but they split up before summer for unknown reasons. His dad and mum; Ronald and Hermione Weasley are good friends of the Potter family. They both fought in the war with Mr Potter, they are all very best of friends. Now his dad is a quidditch player and his mum is a healer, who I admire very intensely. As my dream is to follow in her footsteps.
"I've never seen her before" rang the voice of Tanya the blond bombshell.
At 5"9, she has a body of a model with her pale hair and tanned skin. She is the queen bee. Every girl wants to be her and every guy wants to get her. She is always in the spot light. She is the female version of Kallan. However she is famous for nothing. Just her natural charisma. She plays a big role in the world of elite though. She attends and gets invited to every party and every event. Her face is all over the papers and magazines. Her mums money comes from her deceased, rich, old husbands. But no one knows who Tanya's dad is.
"Yeah that's because she lives in a box and never comes out" Dresden remarked as a mater of a fact.
"Why do you have to be such a bastard Dresden" shouted Karina. She was actually defending me. I was very grateful to her.
"You love it really" I could hear Dresden making kissy noises. He wasn't very funny more stupid then anything.
"Bite me" said Karina angrily.
"Gladly" he chuckled. I could imagine Angelus's murderous face. Even though he and Karina were not together anymore the fact that they cared for each other was written all over their faces.
"Look Kares you have to admit the girl is a weirdo" said Tyler as he was pointing out something obvious. I think they were all confused by why Karina stood up for me.
"Yeah, her head is glued to a book" this was Dresden again. For some reason whenever he talked I never felt greatly hurt because there was no sense to his words. It was very hard to take him seriously.
"Just because you have no brains to even open a book" this was Tanya. I didn't know why she joined in, probably to poke fun at Dresden. If it was, it worked, everyone was laughing at his expense, even me.
"Who cares, her ugly face should be hidden anyways" This was harsh but I didn't expect to hear anything kinder of Amanda. Unlike Dresden however when she talked every word stung, she put so much negativity into the statement it made my knees go weak.
"Amanda" said Karina disappointed.
"What?" she asked puzzled, genuinely not understanding Karina's tone.
"Whatever, lets just find somewhere to sit." and finally he spoke - Kallan. He brushed me of.
This hurt for some reason even more then what Amanda and Dresden said. A part of me desperately wanted for him to notice me. But I was not stupid I knew that, that would never happen. We were just too different, too far away socially. But I still couldn't let go of the pain. Stupid pain that I shouldn't even be feeling in the first place. I should be thankful that he stopped the horrid conversation, instead I'm unhappy that he didn't have a go at me too. I am a twisted person when I'm around him. I hate it. A single tear run down my cheek and I let it. Thankfully I didn't hear anything further from the group. They must have found that compartment. As I done many, many times before I took the subject of Kallan Potter and locked it up in a little box.
After that little incident everything was pretty much quiet. Several other people checked my compartment and no one wanted to sit with me or maybe they were just looking for friends, which ever. It didn't hurt me as much as it used to. Before I used to be very paranoid trying to figure out what was wrong with me, why everyone was put of as if I was a skunk. But now I learned to let it go, not to let this ruin my life. The train took of in its usual manner and I stared out the window at the beautiful scenery. This was my favourite part of the ride, I felt so peaceful. It reminded me of home and the green fields behind our little house.
In my dreamy bliss I fell asleep. I was flying in the air gliding though the pastel fluffy clouds. The pinks and the blues and the lilac's looked like cotton wool or even candy floss. Then through one of the thicker clouds I saw a boy. He was standing in mid air hands tucked behind his pockets but he was so far away I couldn't see his face. So I moved closer as he stayed still, waiting for me. I was just few meters away as I recognised who the boy was; Kallan. He was now sitting there grinning. I stopped shocked to my core and ridiculously happy at the same time. He was smiling at me. He had a beautiful smile and in that moment he only gave it to me. I realised I was dreaming as this could never be real. He beckoned me to come closer. I obliged and flu to him. He caught me and sat me on his lap hugging me fearsly.
"You are my only one" he whispered softly in my ear as I melted in his arms. My body suddenly became weak. After a moment he took my face gently in his hands and scanned my eye still smiling. Then he looked at my lips and his were moving closer to mine and…
I woke up with a start as the train whistle rag in my ears. I felt dizzy from the dream. It felt so unbelievably real. The train came to a stop as we arrived on the platform. Finally I broke out of my daze and began to panic as I realised that I haven't yet changed into my robes. Moving so fast I could barely recognise what I was doing I changed. My cheeks were flushed my skin was hot and the memory of my dream wasn't helping. I could hear people moving loudly through the train. I grabbed my stuff and made my way outside. The train corridor was full of people it felt like twice as many came to Hogwarts this year. Everyone was pushing against each other.
I was squashed between two boys who were much taller and bigger then me. I finely came to an exit all flushed and dizzy. My hair was muffled and stuck to my forehead. I stumbled as I stepped onto the platform almost falling over. Luckily I didn't. I could feel people staring at me. I looked around and Kallan and all his friends were looking in my direction laughing under their breaths as if enjoying some private joke. Well all of them except Karina. My face was burning even more if that was possible. I looked at them unable to break away from their gaze. They were still staring. I felt rather annoyed it was still rude to stair had they no shame especially when I caught them doing it. I locked my eyes on Kallan's as he did on mine he was still smirking but my face was blank. My heart began to beat faster and my palms were going sweaty. As I looked at him, I could see something, something I couldn't quite put my finger on. After a minute or so he chuckled breaking the contact, and lead his friends to one of the carriages.
I was so confused, I mean they've seen me before but what was with all the interest now. Is it because their little conversation at the compartment was longer then I heard. Why were they laughing is it because I was so uncomposed getting out of the train. But all of those were only my second thoughts because all I could really think about was he actually looked at me.