Disclaimer: The show does not belong to me. If it did, I would have paid attention to the majority of fan rather than force storylines that were dead in the water like Iris who is only in 1 episode in S5XD
Pre A/N: Happy Thanksgiving everyone:D Okay so the explanation behind this fic is that I was rewatching scenes from some movies that I have and while scrolling through Angel Eyes, I came across the scene when Sharon and Catch are hanging out after she punched her brother for hitting his wife. I thought it was so sweet and suddenly this thing came up. I guess it can be sort of a family story because of the situation. Thanks SWWoman for the beta as always:D
A Shoulder to Cry On
John felt something was wrong when he entered the library after taking care of their latest number, who turned out to be an ex-husband that hired a hitman to murder his ex-wife for the insurance money. He hadn't heard from Carter all day and when he called Fusco to see if he knew anything, Fusco just said that he hadn't seen her come in at all today. Even though he knew that Joss was more than capable of taking care of herself, John was worried. She was someone important to him, more than a colleague or friend. He didn't want a repeat of what happened when she was a number and a momentary lapse in his surveillance resulted in her getting shot and almost killed by her trusted CI.
Bear's ears perked up as he heard his master and bounded up to him. John gave him a scratch behind the ears before straightening up and approaching Finch, who was in his usual position in front of the 3 computer monitors typing furiously.
"So how is everything on Shaw's end?" John asked. This week the Machine had kept them busy and it was good to have an extra pair of hands in the perfectly capable and well trained Shaw.
Finch kept typing a few more seconds before turning in his chair to give John his full attention. "It seems that she is close to solving the case. It appears that the victim was someone who witnessed a murder and is being hunted down so that he can be silenced. Ms. Shaw is on her way to the perpetrator's home to have a conversation with him." He then noticed something was off with John. "But that isn't where your concern lies, is it Mr. Reese?"
John smiled, trying to hide his annoyance over the fact that Finch noticed. "Just surprised that Carter hasn't tried to lecture me on obeying the law today. I called Lionel only to be told that she hasn't even come into work, which isn't like her." He knew that Joss wouldn't let anything stop her from doing her job, not a cold, a disabled vehicle, nothing. "Finch, can you track her phone?" John wasn't comfortable with asking, keeping his spying of her to a minimum, but he just wanted to be sure that she was alright.
"Give me a minute," Finch said, spinning the chair back towards the computers. After a few more taps, one screen, showing the map of New York, with a red blip. "It appears that Detective Carter is at the hospital."
John's heart dropped at the thought of Joss being laid out in a hospital bed. "What's she in for?" He fought the urge to go running out of the library, hoping that she just had an appointment for a check-up she didn't mention.
The tapping commenced again before Finch was able to get into the hospital's database and began searching for what they needed. Then a document flashed on screen but the photo on the report was not that of Carter but of an older woman. Finch readjusted his glasses as he scanned the information. "From the looks of this Mr. Reese, an Evelyn Carter was admitted to the hospital at around 3 am last night after a call to 911 reported a slip and fall." His eyes landed on a familiar name. "It appears that Detective Carter was the one to report the incident, explaining her association to the victim as being her daughter." He paused as he realized what he had just read and turned back to John, who looked as shocked as he was. "So the reason why Detective Carter was absent from work is because she stayed at the hospital with her mother and only told the Captain.
John took a seat next to Finch, feeling a sense of relief that Joss wasn't the victim but saddened at how Joss kept it secret. He had no doubt that she was probably distressed. From the fact that she had been the one to call, she must have been visiting her mother when the incident happened. That was something that no child wants to see happen to their parents. It was clear that Joss wanted to be alone but knowing her, she was putting up a front to make sure her mother didn't worry about her. Joss was a strong woman but there were times when John saw her do this, especially during homicide cases that involved kids. She would shut away the emotional side so that she could work better but sometimes Joss would slip and her eyes would glisten with unshed tears. "So is she going to be alright?"
Another look at the report had Finch nodding his head. "Looks like nothing was broken and Ms. Carter will be released tomorrow after being kept overnight for observation." Harold saw that his friend was fighting the urge to run out of there and he had to prevent that. "Mr. Reese, I understand your concern, but you have to understand that there are quite a few cameras in and around the hospital, so it would be difficult to explain why someone that looked suspiciously like the Man in the Suit was visiting Detective Carter's mother." The two men had met Evelyn a few months ago, of course under their aliases of Harold Birch and John Warren. She was a wonderful host and very kind to the both of them. Jocelyn had fibbed about their jobs and she joked about men and loving their jobs more than their wives. He was able to see where Jocelyn got her good heart from. Harold was relieved to see that the injury wasn't serious.
Bowing his head, John relented. He knew that Finch was right. He didn't want to bring the wrong kind of attention to Joss or her family but he didn't want her to be alone. "I know Finch."
It was then that an idea struck Harold. "How about I send a carnation to her room as a way to wish her mother well? I'm sure that Detective Carter will know who sent it and go looking for you." At first, Harold had been against the John and Jocelyn associating with each other because of the huge threat Jocelyn posed to them. However after seeing the changes in John from being around her, he knew that she was someone that was special to him. She was also someone that he himself found to be trustworthy with their secrets and the best asset he had seen in years. They had managed to develop a friendship as well, which he appreciated because of his reluctance to accept Jocelyn after she had nearly handed John over to Snow. It took a lot for him to trust her after that, even though she helped John get in the car so the both of them could get away.
John nodded, approving of his idea. "Thanks Finch." He was thankful that he had warmed up to Joss like he had after she joined the team. He got up from his chair and gave Bear another scratch. "I'll see you later." He then headed out.
"Jocelyn, there is no need to worry. You can head home. The doctor told me that I'm actually quite healthy for my youthful age of 72," Evelyn joked as she was sitting up in her bed. Joss sat to her left and she hadn't let go of her mom's hand since she was allowed in the room.
"Momma, of course they say that, but they are keeping you here until tomorrow so I'm going to stay until then. Taylor is going to stay with a friend in the meantime." After finding out about the incident, Taylor visited his grandmother after getting out of school. He gave her a big hug and kiss on the forehead, glad that she was alright. He did the same to his mother in hopes of calming her down. Taylor remembered the last time his mom looked so scared. It was right before she saw him run up to her after John rescued him. She had hugged him so tight and looked like she wanted to cry.
He got caught up with his grandma before he needed to leave because the sun was going down and Joss didn't want him walking outside at night. After another round of hugs and kisses, he left after promising to call once he got to his friend's house. He did just that after about a half an hour and Joss was grateful that now she could go back to focusing on her mother. It was then that someone brought in a vase of a large assortment of flowers whose scent instantly filled the room. Evelyn couldn't help but be impressed. "My oh my, who could have been so kind as to send this? Jocelyn?" After her daughter shook her head no, she began searching until she found a card hidden in the bouquet. After removing it from its placeholder, she read it out loud. "We wish you well Ms. Evelyn, signed Mr. Birch and Mr. Warren. Jocelyn, aren't those your friends that you told me about?"
Joss did her best to hide her shocked expression. "Yes mom. Guess Taylor told them what was happening."
Evelyn's smiled warmly at her daughter. "Those men are so kind to worry about me as well. You made some good friends honey, especially Mr. Warren. He's pretty handsome."
"Mom," she politely warned, knowing exactly what her mother was getting at. Whenever she saw a potential suitor for her, her mom would point out the traits that she liked about them.
"It's not just looks either. He's different from Paul. Whenever he looks at you, I see a small sparkle in his eyes" Evelyn teased her daughter.
"No, you don't." Joss squeezed her hand, knowing she had to talk to him and she suspected she knew where he was. "How about I go and find him so I can thank him?"
Evelyn smiled and nodded. "Good, then you can go home and rest so you can pick me up tomorrow."
Joss leaned over and gave her a tight hug. "I love you mom." Kissing the top of her head, she pulled back and put on her coat.
"Love you too honey," she said before Joss walked out the door.
The lights in her apartment were off but Joss knew that he was inside. John had obviously intended for her to come and look for him when she saw the flowers. She felt bad for shutting them out, but she didn't think they wanted to be bothered.
Inserting the key and turning it in the lock, Joss opened the door. The first thing she noticed was a familiar coat draped over the back of her couch. After stepping inside and relocking the door, Joss dropped off her things on the table and then took off her jacket to hang on the back of the door. Shaking her hands to help relax, she said "What are you doing here John?"
On cue, he stepped out of her kitchen. The sleeves of his shirt were unbuttoned and pulled up to his elbows as he looked at her. "Are you alright?" he asked simply.
"My mom is fine. It wasn't anything serious. You two already know that though," she offered, but not convincing him.
John took a step closer. "That wasn't what I asked Joss. I want to know if you are alright." Another step, then another. Before long, he was in front of her while she was still standing in front of her door with her head bowed. John reached out and tenderly took her face in his hand to force her to look at him. What he saw confirmed what he suspected. Joss's eyes were glistening and she was struggling over what to do. Nodding his head in understanding, John drew her closer. She stuttered over her steps until she collapsed against his chest. Once he wrapped his arms around her, John felt her grabbing him tightly before something wet hit his shirt.
Their backs slid against the door until they found themselves on the floor but John didn't let go, neither did Joss. Her body quivered as she sobbed into his chest. John gently brushed her hair as he laid his head on top of hers, waiting until she got it all out. His heart broke at the idea of her holding so much in just so she wouldn't expose her vulnerability.
Before long, Joss's body stopped shaking and her sobs died down to a whimper, but she didn't let go yet. She took comfort in knowing that she could be so open and so vulnerable in front of John and he wouldn't judge or ridicule her. "I'm sorry I ruined your shirt" she said, coming out slightly muffled by her face still being pressed against him.
John chuckled at the comment while rubbing her back in slow circles. "I'll live." After another sniffle, she pulled back. Her eyes were red and her cheeks were stained with tear streaks. However, he felt Joss relaxing under his touch. "Feeling better?" She nodded but didn't pull away as she cleaned her face up. "It's okay to be worried Joss."
"I know but I was right there. I went to the kitchen to get a drink when I heard a crashing sound. When I got back, she was on the floor and I called 911. She tripped over the leg of a coffee table when she went to follow me." Her hands clenched at the memory. Joss sat up straighter as she pulled her knees to her chest. "I was so scared," she whispered.
Again John placed a comforting hand on her back, having taken it off when Joss moved to get comfortable. "Joss, you did everything right. Thanks to your quick thinking, your mom is going to be alright."
"I know that she's okay but I didn't want her to see me like this," referring to her breakdown. She combed a hand through her hair. "It will probably be the only time I say this but thank you for breaking into my house. Oh and my mother wanted to say thanks too for the flowers."
John smiled. "It was the least Finch and I could do. We don't exactly have the ability to meet new people with us being officially declared dead and all."
"Well you earned some bonus points." She sighed as she stretch her legs out in front of her and continued cleaning her face using her shirt. After finishing, she leaned her head against his shoulder, using it as a pillow before taking his hand from behind her back and intertwined their fingers. "My mother helped me when I was getting divorced. She gave me the kick in the butt I needed to make the decision for Taylor's safety." There was a pause as she thought of whether or not to outright ask John about his family. He was such a private person. "I don't let many people in" Joss admitted as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "It was easier for me that way. I couldn't get hurt again."
Looking down at her, John nodded his head as he remembered closing himself off to the world after losing Jessica. "Sounds like we both had something in common."
"Mmmhmm. Still don't know why I didn't arrest your ass John. I put guys like you away all the time but with you...I don't know." Joss couldn't understand how she came to trust him so much.
"Maybe it was my good looks and charm that won you over Detective."
Joss softly laughed, her exhaustion after the day's events catching up with her. "Very funny John," she muttered. Her thumb lightly traced his knuckles as she felt herself lose the fight against sleep.
John felt Joss's steady breathing and knew she was asleep. He had been thankful to her for trusting him to see this side of her. What she showed him tonight wasn't Joss Carter the Detective but Joss Carter the woman. He wanted to do the same, be able to open up to her, tell her about his hard childhood. Unfortunately, he didn't see his life story as worth telling. He had lost his parents at a young age and was thrown into the system while he was fending for himself. He had made the choice to join the military rather than jail after getting into a fight. John wanted to tell her everything he did in the CIA but he was ashamed.
Ignoring the terrible feelings his memories brought up, John wanted to help Joss get into bed. He slowly stood up, being careful to not wake her as she hadn't let go. He swept Joss up into his arms, the door assisting him in maintaining his balance. She stirred but didn't wake as John walked across the apartment to her bedroom. After removing the comforter from her bed, he laid her across the mattress and took off her shoes. After he finished, John pulled the comforter up to her chest.
He straightened up but his hand went to Joss's forehead, his thumb hoping to massage away the scowl that began appearing on her face. This was not an easy experience for Joss to go through. When she was close with someone, she felt such a connection to them. John remembered how she had apologized in her own way for getting him shot by Snow. He could see how badly the event affected her even though he never blamed her.
"I'm sorry I didn't say anything earlier Joss" he said suddenly. "The fear that you felt, I used to be like that, with my parents and Jessica. I do know that the fear I had isn't the same as what I have now." Her eyes stirred and for a second John wondered if she could hear him. He kept going when she relaxed but still with the scowl, wanting to feel what it would be like to really open up to this woman. "I was only a kid so I couldn't stop my dad from dying while serving, or my mom from committing suicide a year after losing him. With Jessica, I thought I was ready to settle down; but when the towers fell, I knew that my duty to protect my country wouldn't let her live her life the way she wanted to. I was afraid of her becoming a widow if something happened to me, just like my mother. With you..."
He stopped so that he could kneel next to the bed and grab Joss's hand with his free hand. "I'm terrified because you have done so much for me. I had never met someone as stubborn as you before but I wouldn't have it any other way because I am happier around you, even more so than with Jessica. I know that if I lost you, I wouldn't be able to survive. This job has strangers pass in and out of my life without a second thought. They won't remember me. You didn't have to give me the time of day either, you could have just left me to the system. I should have avoided you because you became my enemy but I didn't. You should have seen how irritated Finch was with me because I didn't stay away." He chucked before growing serious. "Thank you for having such faith in me Joss. I normally don't believe in fate but I can't help but feel like everything in our relationship happened for a reason and I don't want to lose that, lose you." John smiled when he felt the scowl under his fingers disappear. Letting go of her hand, he stood up and gave Joss's hair a kiss. "Sweet dreams" he uttered softly. Again she stirred but she looked more relaxed as she moved her body on its side, facing him.
After closing the door behind him, John left out of the backdoor downstairs after making sure everything was locked and secure. Giving the building one last glance, John made his way home, his thoughts on taking Joss and her mother to breakfast in the morning.
Post A/N: Just want to say don't believe anything that the EPs are saying about there being Reese and Finch interaction. They clearly are more interested in Root and Shaw and are trying to get people to watch, much like they did in S3 when they hinted at Reese and Carter getting together only to screw up. The EPs would rather give a middle finger to everyone that helped make the show successful because they where too scared to go with their original idea and take offense like babies when people don't like this crap they've been putting out. On top of that, they went ahead and made 2 characters that people have had a problem with since day one basically the main characters while Finch is Root's lackey and Reese and Fusco are working as cops still. Shooters say Root and Shaw saved the show which is funny because I still don't see a premiere date for S5. Vote for Jim in the People's Choice Awards because he isn't a two face ass kisser. His lack of words says a lot and it shows that he is just going through the motions now.
Okay, now that the rant is over, I want to wish all of my readers and friends a very Happy Thanksgiving. May you all have safe journeys if you are traveling this season. I am truly thankful to have my family, my crazy friends in the group, and my supportive readers. It's still been a few months of adjusting after the fire but I feel that I got through it all by having people that really care closest to me and getting rid of people that could have cared less, even if that meant having my heart broken. Much love to SWWoman for the beta and everyone make sure to eat lots of food and fall asleep on the couch. Woot! Happy Turkey Day!