Disclaimer: i don't own Criminal Minds, never have never will
A/N: this is a bit of a dark drabble, you have been warned
You watch silently.
You tried screaming, but it was futile, no noise passed your lips.
This being is no longer you; only a shell of the former you. You're trapped. Alone.
It has been so long since you felt real. Tobias tried to strip you of your fragile sanity, but you clinged on, you fought back against the evil tendrils of the dark that threatened to overwhelm you, escaping with only a fragment of who you were.
The fragment would grow; you knew that, it filled you with hope. But then Gideon left. Despite being a member of the team, he was your only link left to these people who called themselves your friends. You were alone again.
The pain of this realisation struck you hard, what was there left? There was only the fragment of your sanity which shrivelled every time it was reminded of his departure.
You hid your true feelings from the team, an achievement considering they were profilers; this fact always brought a smile to your lips; even if it only lasted for a second.
How could they not see your heart wrench, see it breaking, as you sliced and diced your way to a freedom that was only filled with the poison of regret.
As this being brings the razor to its pale white skin, a part of you cries out for it to stop, and another part craves the release it will bring, the creature only hears one of these pleas and acts accordingly, cutting into you and drawing a small stream of blood that twists and flows across your arm, pooling around your elbow.
It closes its eyes, part of you is grateful; as if this act will shield you from the truth, the other relishes it as a moment to remember and relish.
A sob escapes its throat, and its fists clench as it fights to remain control over the body that isn't its. You take your small victories were you can get them.
The world is blind to you, leaving you alone and your minds peril. Unlike the battles you face with the team, this – your own personal battle – is one you must face alone for it to truly mean something and fill the hollow space that used to house your soul.
A/N: please review, reviews are love!