Worst things comes to play

They play in the meadow.

The dancing girl with dark hair and green eyes. The boy with red curls and brown eyes struggling to keep up with his sister on his chubby toddler legs. It took as little as five years for me to agree but Jimmy wanted them so badly. When I first felt her stirring inside me, I was consumed by terror that felt as old as the life itself. Only the joy of holding her in my arms could tame it. Carrying the boy was a little bit easier, but not by much.

The questions are just beginning. The war had ended. Memorials being built. But they teach them in schools. Memories stored, handily written in books and digital tomes. The girl knows that her father played a role in it. The boy will know within a few years. Me? All that they know that there was once the Queen of Blades whose terror will be remembered until the end of time. It was by luck and chances that I was returned back to humanity and be allowed to leave that dark world behind me forever. How can I tell them about that world without frightening them to death?

My children who don't know they are playing on a graveyard.

Here it is safe, here it is warm,

Here the daises guard you from every harm,

Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true,

Here is the place where I love you.

My mother used to sing that song to me and I am now to them. Every day and every night.

Jimmy says that it will be okay. We have each other. We can make them understand in a way that would make them braver.

But one day I will have to explain to them about my nightmares. Why they come and why they will never go away.

Someday, they will know who their mother once was.

I will tell them how it happened. I will them how I survived it. I'll tell them that on bad mornings, it feels impossible to take pleasure in anything because I was too afraid that it will be taken away. That is when I make a list inside my head of every act of goodness I've seen people do.

It was tedious. Repetitive. Even after so many years.

But I will still do it.

Because there were much worst things that I did.

The End.

A/n: Confession. This was deeply and heavily inspired by the Mockingjay book. You know the Hunger Games. I do feel that Katniss and Sarah had several similarities. Admittedly Katniss never commit mass genocide but in term of emotional backlash, they are on the same ship. Anyway, I'm planning to release Changing Perceptions latest chapter within this week. Stay tune.