Aeryn sat in the darkness of her cell. The sleep cycle, but who could sleep with the screams, the smell, the heat? That acrid sulphur that accumulated in stale air when Scarrans were around. The drugs were wearing off, and Vreena was trying her best to keep her cool. Trying to keep her alive.
You'll be just another DIT. Died in Transit.
And that would be a bad thing?
They had not harmed her when they found Morrock's body dead beside her. She had done their dirty work for them. Instead Aeryn found herself thrust into another cell, this time alone. They wouldn't hurt her, not anymore than they already had. She was too valuable. As long as the Scarrans believed she was carrying John Crichton's child, she was priceless.
John's child. She had always known, believed in her heart that it was his. She had been so careful as a soldier, because she knew that breeding as a Peacekeeper meant simply that: breeding. A child taken from you at birth, because you have done your part to fill the ranks. She never wanted that, and part of her hated her parents for choosing to bring a child into the world that way. She snorted. If they had loved me they wouldn't have brought me into that world.
Her thoughts turned to her own child. She was effectively no better than her own parents on that front, though at least she could say she did not choose this life for her child. No difference. This child would still be taken from her at birth, because her usefulness would be over. And she had to keep hoping, believing, that this was Crichton's child, not just a fault in their DNA memory banks, not the effect of Pilot's DNA, but John's child. Because otherwise it would be dead, and she could not bear to lose something so precious. Then again, what kind of life would it have?
The door opened with a screech, and Vreena stepped cautiously into the room. She knew that Aeryn Sun was not to be messed with.
"How are you feeling?" The nurse asked.
Aeryn didn't even bother to raise her head, too weary to move. "Get...frelled..." She whispered, mouth dry from the drugs, stomach aching from tests and needles.
Vreena raised an eyebrow, and threw a canister of water beside where Aeryn lay. "Rest yourself, Peacekeeper. We'll be at Katratze within the arn." The door closed with a thud that reverberated throughout every bone in her tired body.
Aeryn moved, slowly, like a child taking it's first steps, raising herself to sit against the wall, finding it warm and damp, not cool and refreshing as she had hoped. She gulped down the cool water, holding the canister against her flesh to cool her. An arn to Katratze. She had tried to keep track of time since she came aboard, but she had been unconscious too many times, the pain and the heat making her lose concentration. Not that it would have done much good anyway.
She had given up on Djancaz Bru, because since she started praying things had only gotten worse. Maybe the Peacekeepers were right to raise soldiers without religion. But she hadn't given up on every deity. Someone had to be listening, watching. Anyone who could tell her that John was coming for her, that he was searching, because if she had learned anything from him it was hope. But one arn was all she had left. One arn to reach a military base she had never heard of, an arn until her child became more than just a cluster of cells and life was begun. An arn to make a deal with anyone.
She lowered her hand to her belly, stroking lightly. "I'm so sorry...I never meant for it to happen like this." Tears rolled down her cheeks, only adding to the heat. "It was meant to be different...he was supposed to be here, not here but somewhere else...and I just wanted it to be perfect..." She wiped at the tears angrily. "I would give anything to know that he is coming for us...I know he won't give up, but all I need is a sign."
The room grew colder, a comfortable, welcome warmth rather than sweaty heat. It was brighter, a bluish light setting her at ease.
"Aeryn." The voice was soft, long missed and achingly familiar. She looked up, unable to believe what she saw before her, blaming it on the drugs and the heat. But the presence was too real for it to be a hallucination. She moved forward on her knees, almost scared to disturb the apparition.
"Zhaan?" She whispered, hot tears falling again.
Zhaan smiled, with a warmth that Aeryn felt in her heart. She crawled forward, too weak to stand. "Please tell me that you are really here..."
Zhaan knelt, level to Aeryn. "Child, I have never left you. I have always been a part of you. You must not give up, Aeryn."
Aeryn bit her lip in a useless attempt to prevent more tears. "I'm trying...it's just so hard...they want to take my child away, and I've been praying but no one's listening!"
Zhaan reached out and stroked Aeryn's cheek, calming her. "I've been listening. I've always been listening. There have been so many times when I have wanted to reach out to you, to help you...but I always knew you were strong enough to overcome any obstacle. And I am only here to remind you of that."
Aeryn turned her head to kiss the Delvian's palm. "Please tell me that he is coming. Or let him know where to find me! I cannot lose him again, Zhaan, I've only just found him again. And the baby...I can't let my child be born into this, treated as some science experiment!"
Zhaan leaned forward, pressing her forehead to Aeryn's, settling her mind as one would soothe a child. "This child is the reason I brought you back, Aeryn. I could feel the soul within you." She whispered, yet her voice echoed around the room. "He is coming, Aeryn. No matter what happens in the coming days, do not give up hope. He never has. Be strong. Keep hope alive, and he will come to you."
Aeryn nodded, eyes closed tight, savouring the serenity of Zhaan's presence. In an instance she was gone; The room was dull and grimy and sweaty, and she could hear the disconcerting screams of other prisoners once more, the ache returning to her body. But something burned renewed in her soul, as she heard Zhaan's quiet whisper once more:
"Keep hope alive, and he will come to you."
Djancaz Bru could keep her worship. Aeryn had her own goddess, and most of all, she had hope.
Crichton gazed upon the stars on the terrace. His guiding star, his one constant could not be seen. But he knew where to find her. A day at most, and they would be there. He would see Aeryn again. He never gave up hope. Zhaan smiled down upon him, wrapping his exhausted form in an ethereal embrace, settling wired nerves and a spinning head, until he slept quietly leaning against Moya's bulkhead. He thought he registered her presence but was asleep before he could do anything about it.
"Rest, John. You'll need your strength. Never give up." Zhaan returned to the spiritual plane once more, leaving all resting peacefully behind her, spirits settled and hope renewed, as Moya continued the journey to Katratze.