Darren and Chris were the kings of ups and downs.

Since the beginning of their relationship in 2011, for two people who have to deal with different types of people everyday, they sucked at agreeing with each other and expressing their real feelings. That always led to eventful fights, not talking to each other at all for weeks and it crushed their brains as well because they'd spend too much time wondering about what the other would be thinking or doing.

The day they finally managed to talk and express themselves, it was like a heavy weight were being lifted from Darren and Chris' shoulders. After that day, they decided they couldn't be away from each other and this would be their happily ever after.

Until it wasn't.

Chris and Darren would fight at least three times a month. It didn't seem like a lot, but between those fights, there were always some disagreements that weren't too important and when they really fought, they used to say things they didn't mean, being mean to each other and cracking their relationship every time they did.

Things that crack eventually break.
-

It was another day on the Glee set and Chris seemed to be the only person who couldn't give a fuck about this episode they were about to shoot.

Chris had read the script several times at home, calling Ryan every now and then to complain about Kurt and Blaine's actions. He and Darren, just like Kurt and Blaine, weren't together anymore and weren't even talking outside of the studio. Their last fight seemed to be the last fight ever and Chris had never cried so much in his entire life after what Darren had shouted to him, which meant something because Chris have always had enough reasons to cry his soul out. Every time Chris remembered what happened, he would scoff to himself, not really believing he and Darren would end up like that.

After years of a hard, hidden relationship, Chris was starting to accept that that was his life for how long he wasn't sure, but as long as he had Darren by his side, everything was okay.

Or so he thought.

One day, Darren was out attending an event without Chris, but of course, Chris was used to that. Chris arrived home early from Fox Studios and he was feeling weirdly tired. His and Darren's characters were in a together-not-together relationship and that was killing him. The scripts were getting longer and heavier every time he received a new one; the scenes were intense, and the emotions were still floating out of him. He rubbed the bridge of his nose while he was parking his car, sighing in relief for just coming home. Chris smiled, his heart warming when he heard Cooper's barks from the house. Home. Exactly where he wanted to be. He got out of his car, rushed to his house and opened the door, and was thrown on the floor by his heavy and extremely happy dog. Meanwhile, he received a bitch glare from Brian who was seated as classy as he could in front of them, his tail swinging lazily from one side to the other which meant he was happy to see Chris, too, but he still refused to move. Chris played with his pets until he got tired and Cooper licked his face one more time before running to the couch, laying there and falling asleep fast. Brian sat beside Chris now, as he had joined his owner and Cooper some time when they were rolling on the floor. He looked and Chris, tucked his head to the side and ran to his bowl, waiting for Chris to put food in he showered, changed into his pajamas and laid on his king-sized bed.

"One more night where Daddy has to sleep alone," Chris mumbled to Brian who was lying on his side. He and Darren were living together since they decided it was good enough for the both of them. Or not good enough since Darren was almost never at home or always coming late to a usually sleepy Chris.

Chris opened his laptop and started searching for something, anything that could give him inspiration to start his new book. Without Darren around, it was hard to think, which was really strange because Darren was noisy, messy and a human being that could never walk normally, only jump around. But that was what helped Chris to have inspiration and write things down.

He was about to finish reading an article about magical places around the world when his cell phone vibrated on his bedside table. He took it and as soon as he saw what had been sent to him, he immediately jumped off the bed, almost letting his laptop and cellphone fall from his lap and break. His breath caught in his throat and he felt like he was about to faint. Chris had to breathe long and slow for a couple times, a trick he had learned a few years ago to help him not hyperventilate. His hands were trembling and he looked at his screen again just to check that he wasn't going crazy. He has received a few tweets about truthful sources that were also attending the same place Darren was and he couldn't believe what he was seeing. There were some pictures of Darren and...her. Darren holding her, walking hand-in-hand, and the last but not the least important one, the picture that made Chris' heart fall to the ground and break into a billion pieces: an open-mouthed kiss while he held her like he owned her.

Chris' eyes were on fire, his whole body was trembling, he couldn't even see straight and he was so fucking tired. He and Darren hadn't fought for more than one month now; everything seemed peaceful and too good to be true. But now Chris was too sad, too broken, feeling like he was about to die and nothing could ever change that. Of course he knew that bitch was part of Darren's deal with everything he had to do in the public eye, but the saddest thing is that he hadn't mentioned anything to Chris about her being with him tonight, nor saying anything. They had jumped from 'I walk in front of you, you just follow' to 'I'll hold you like we belong together'. In that same moment, Chris' cell phone started vibrating again. When he looked to see who it was, he saw Lea's face, he pressed the red button and threw his cell phone onto the bed and felt so lost; he didn't even know where to go or what to do. He punched the wall next to him, startling Brian who ran out of the room at the speed of light. Chris didn't even know he had started crying until he felt the hot tears streaming down his face, blurring his vision, blocking his mind and leaving him numb.

The last thing Chris remembered that night was seeing Cooper looking at him from the doorway, staring at Chris like he could understand everything that was happening, which was a little comforting for Chris when he couldn't understand anything at all.

The morning after Chris' blackout, he woke up in his bed, his head heavy with a throbbing pain. His body seemed like it couldn't carry Chris' weight and it took him a minute to remember why he was feeling like shit.

Oh.

He moved his body to the side and faced a sleeping Darren next to him. Any other day he would find this perfect and adorable and he would kiss his boyfriend until he woke up. Those days were soon to be over, though and that made Chris' stomach twist inside of him, forcing him out of the bed and straight to the toilet where he threw up, all his worries and his food from the previous day. After that awesome way to wake up on a Saturday morning, he brushed his teeth, took another shower and went to the kitchen, not looking at his bed where the man who made him feel like a total waste was sleeping.

Chris sat on the edge of his kitchen table, holding his favourite mug that, for the first time, was filled with water instead of coffee, thinking what the hell he would do with his life when Darren woke up. Cooper sat next to the table and Brian jumped to sit on the kitchen counter. Both of his pets were looking at him with weirdly human faces: Cooper had his huge golden eyes looking at Chris warmly, like the good friend that he was, while Brian had this endless bitch look, but with a hint of concern there. Chris sighed and jumped away from the table, finishing his water and leaving his mug where he was seated. He pet Brian's head and passed Cooper, squeezing his body. He decided it would be good to open the door and let his animals be free for a few minutes while he would try to enjoy the sun that was coming through the giant window in his living room. Chris and Cooper went outside, Cooper running to piss in the first thing he could see. Chris decided to do something different than just watching from the porch like he always did. Instead he walked a little and sat on the grass, not caring if it would ruin his khaki pants or if anyone would see him with his hair damp and not coiffed. He couldn't care less. Chris giggled a little when he looked to where he had left the door ajar and could see Brian narrowing his eyes at them from inside the house.

Chris turned to face the trees and the coloured houses he could see from where he was. Cooper ran around him and sometimes sat still, but other times he rolled next to him, trying to catch the pigeons that were too close to them. Chris could almost forget what had led him to change his morning actions if he just focused on the sun warming his skin, the sound of Cooper's paws on the grass, the birds singing not too far away, and the footsteps. Footsteps? Chris looked up to see who was the idiot that was breaking his peace. It was silly of him to think that it could be any other person invading his yard but the one who lived with him. There was Darren, barefooted and without a shirt, his hair wild and so, so beautiful; his pajama pants hung loosely on his hips and he wore that stupid mind-blowing lazy smile that he's always given Chris in the morning.

Everything would have been perfect like in a romantic movie, if Chris didn't feel like punching Darren in the face. Just because Darren being so close caused two different emotions on him: one screamed at him to just jump and kiss Darren senseless and make love to him on that grass and there was another part of him that screamed at him to get up and leave. Chris didn't listen to either of them. Instead he waited while Darren sat by his side, kissed him on the cheek and hugged him, putting his face against Chris' neck. When Chris hadn't moved an inch, only flinching with Darren's touch, he looked at Chris with a puzzled expression.

"Good morning, sweetheart," Darren mumbled and when Chris subtly nodded, he tried again.
"Are you okay?"

Chris only nodded one more time.

Darren went on,"I came home last night and you were already sleeping...On the floor."

Chris was a little startled by that, but still said nothing.

"Will you tell me what happened?" Darren asked, those fucking giant golden-green eyes, full of concern and so oblivious. Chris could almost laugh at how Darren and Cooper's looks matched, but only in the dog were they really innocent.

Chris looked at Darren, not sure if he should actually say something when he wasn't in the privacy of his house, so he just got up and entered his place, not looking if Darren had followed him. When he got inside, Cooper ran past him, stopping by his bowl to drink water and Brian was nowhere to be found. Darren entered just after the dog and stopped in front of Chris, about to take Chris' hand in his when the other man shouted:

"Don't touch me!" Chris was startled himself by the high level of his voice, turning away from Darren and sitting on the couch. Darren, of course, followed him like a lost puppy.

"Chris, oh my god, what happened?" He asked, rubbing his right ear.

"Do you really fucking think I'm this dumb? Are you actually testing me?" Chris looked into Darren's eyes fully now, and he could see the flow of different emotions happening all at once in Darren's face. "I can be a little dumb, of course, I can be really oblivious, really fucking oblivious! I can be the most ridiculous man ever, I can be all this. But don't test me, Darren Criss. You have no right to destroy what took me so long to build up just for you." Chris was on the verge of the tears and he could see through his blurred eyes that Darren was shifting in his spot, aching to hold Chris, but knowing he couldn't.

"I-What are you talking about, Chris? I-"

"I saw it, Darren!" Chris threw his arms in the air. "Did you really think I wouldn't?" Angry tears were falling like a waterfall, his body trembling again, and his voice was so heavy that every word felt like a whole sentence. "People know me just like they know you. You don't want to carry me around. You can't carry me around as your boyfriend, okay, I understand, but please...Please, don't make me feel like I'm a housewife that waits for her man to come home, expecting he's working when he's actually with someone else." Chris sobbed and pulled his knees up, closing himself into a little ball as he cried. He was tired, he felt like he had nothing else to say and he couldn't care less that he was crying in front of Darren; he was tired of trying to hide his pain.

"Shit, Chris, please, listen. It's not- There is no way...I-", Darren was trying to find words, of course he was, but even he knew there was no excuse. "It's part of my job. I thought we agreed on that mess as soon as we got togeth-"

"Fuck you!" Chris got up in a matter of seconds, his face falling even more. "Is it part of my job to watch you hooking up with that bitch in front of everybody? Is it part of your job to watch me hold hands with my assistant? Is it part of our fucking job pretending not to be ourselves? Is it, really? 'Cause as far as I'm concerned I don't remember signing up for this shit. And is it part of your job to show the world just how fucking happy and loose you are with your girlfriend that you have to kiss open-mouthed in front of every fucking person and media we know? So don't-Don't play this shitty card on me." Chris' voice had gone from low to high and weird because of the sobs that were threatening to escape. He let his body fall and sat on the coffee table in front of Darren.

"Will you let me explain?" Darren looked at him sadly, his eyes red-rimmed and shining with tears that were threatening to fall, his lower lip trembling and his fingers scratching his other hand.

"No. I don't wanna fight and call you names. I don't wanna cry anymore in front of you. You just destroyed me. All of me. Now I just pray to a God I don't even believe in just to help me to catch the rest of me and rebuild myself. I feel like I have a lot to say to you, but at the same time, I feel like I have nothing else to say, no strength to speak anymore." Chris sniffed and he could see Darren's face scrunching as his tears fell and marked his pants.
Darren ducked and shook his head, not quite believing what he was hearing.
"I don't even know anything anymore, I feel like I lost everything, I feel...numb and empty. You're gonna be alright, I know that. You have lots of friends who will be eager to help you."

While Chris was speaking, Darren sobbed a few times, still shaking his head, his hands now tugging on his hair, pulling it hard.

Chris inhaled deeply. "I want you to leave. It's inevitable we will see each other, so see you on Monday at work." And with that, Chris got up and used everything that was left in him to drag him to the bedroom on the second floor.
As he was turning to start climbing the stairs, Darren went after him.

"Chris, no, please, please, don't do this to us. Please, baby, we can make it right, I can-I can- I can tell them to fire her, I can-We can-please!" He was sobbing uncontrollably, tugging on Chris' shirt, crushing his face against Chris' chest and he kept mumbling 'please, baby, please' and Chris was almost sure Darren had forgotten what he was apologizing for.

Chris just stayed still, not moving or flinching while Darren was turning into a pool of tears in front of him. He could feel his shirt getting wet and tried his hardest not to break just as much as Darren was breaking near him.

Chris inhaled sharply and with the last vestiges of his voice, he whispered, "Stop, let me go."

With that, Darren's grip loosened as he fell slowly to the floor. Chris watched that and if it were possible, his heart broke even more, leaving nothing to be rebuilt.

Chris dragged himself to the spare bedroom beside his and Darren's. Then he locked the door, leaving no reasons for Darren to bother him. He felt like he was dead, and he couldn't decide whether that was good or overwhelmingly bad.

He fell asleep thinking whether he should take back everything he said and just leave it all behind or if his decision was as right as it seemed, even though he had to break one of the most precious things in his life.

When Chris woke up, he really hoped Darren had left already, so that could save them more disappointment, more tears and more heartbreak, if that were possible. He left the bed lazily, his body feeling too heavy and he was too tired, even if it looked like it was already evening, the sunlight no longer coming through the curtain like earlier. Chris got out of the room and sighed. He didn't know if it was a relieved sigh because the house sounded too quiet, like Darren wasn't there anymore, or if it was because he was too sad to admit he missed his boyfriend or rather ex-boyfriend. He opened his bedroom door slowly and gasped as soon as he did so. Chris found Darren seating at the edge of the bed, his back shaking slightly while broken sobs escaped his lips. The bitter sound ran through Chris' spine, leaving him breathless. A few tears formed in his eyes already as he held himself tightly to not just jump on the bed and hug Darren, telling him everything would be okay as soon as possible.

"Da-Darren?" Chris whispered, afraid of startling him. He walked slowly, touching Darren's right shoulder.

"I-I'll leave a-as s-oon as po-possible", he said between broken sobs and sniffed a couple times.
He wasn't lying, though. There were two huge suitcases and a duffel bag next to Darren's feet. One of them was open and Chris could see how full it was; everything that belonged to Darren was inside the two bags. Chris didn't know that he started crying until he felt the hot tears running down his face and his chin quivered. He bit his lip too hard, trying to not let out a broken sob.

He wondered why Darren hadn't closed the bag yet. Then he saw Darren bending down, and before he closed the luggage, Chris could see what he had put in there: a framed picture from the last vacation they had when they were at the beach. The picture was nothing beautiful, if not the weirdest they had ever taken. Chris had his face scrunched in a big smile, showing all his teeth, while the wave behind them formed a beautiful shape. Darren had his eyes wide and couldn't decide if he would laugh or be baffled and Chris remembered why he had this face. The moment that Darren was about to click on the button so the picture would be perfect, a girl ran to them, shouting their names. She was just a few footsteps away when she stumbled on the sand and fell, probably eating sand and burning her face in it. Darren had been eager to help the girl, who suddenly looked mortified when she saw who was helping her and didn't say a word. She only cleaned herself and ran away from them as quickly as possible. Chris still didn't know why they have framed this picture and put it on their nightstand when there were a million pictures better than that, but then he remembered when Darren had proudly put it there and smiled big, saying that Chris had the most beautiful smile in this picture and Chris could only agree on that. It had been the perfect day, after all.

A pang in his chest informed Chris he was more conflicted now than ever. All those good memories and their difficult but beautiful story was about to end because of one fucking night. But he had made his decision and wasn't taking back this quickly; it would give him and Darren time to think about what they really wanted. He just wasn't sure if he was ready to say it out loud to Darren. It all sounded too childish and he was afraid it would make him look and sound younger than he felt right now.

Chris sat on the bed behind Darren, debating with himself if he should touch him or not, but then the moment was broken when Darren's bare back tensed and he turned around to really look at Chris. He gasped at the sight before him. Darren was a wreck, his hair wilder he had ever seen, as if he had abused it from pulling on it too much. His eyes were bloodshot, wide and he looked lost. Chris could see there was so much pain in Darren right now and all he wanted to do was kiss him and make it vanish. Darren's lips were red, maybe because he had bit them all day. Chris turned his gaze away and it fell on the giant window in front of them, it really was night, maybe 8 or 9pm., while thinking what the fuck he had done to them.

It wasn't his fault, though.

"I've-" Darren started and coughed a little.

Chris turned his attention back to Darren, who looked down and then continued talking.

"I've been waiting for you to wake up so we could talk. Not that we have anything left to say, I understand now. It's just that-", he sighed. "I won't try and explain anything and I know you don't wanna see me for a long time in real life, not like Kurt and Blaine, so...I just waited for you so I can say that." He swallowed hard and looked into Chris' eyes. "I'm taking Cooper with me." Darren said it so fast and so low that Chris had to think about it for a little while so he could really understand.

"What?" His voice was so high-pitched it must've echoed through entire house. "You are not! You can't be-this-insane. No, no, no, you must be kidding me. You don't even have anywhere to stay. It's MY dog. he's going to live with me. We're not arguing on that. We're so not doing this! you're not- fucking with my head again. no, Darren Criss, you're not-You're-not", Chris was hyperventilating, something he couldn't control this one when he had string feelings. He felt like he was about to faint; he was so nervous that he thought he was losing consciousness and he felt lightheaded, his body floated as he lost it all.

Chris wasn't used to fainting anymore, he hadn't fainted in a long time, but in high school it happened almost everyday. Since he got out of Clovis and started a light brand new life in Los Angeles, he had forgotten how awful it felt.

He woke up feeling dizzy, a heat above him and lips on his wide-open mouth as someone also pressed against his nose. Chris felt the need to puke since too much air was getting into his body as he gained life again. He blinked a few times and as blurred vision became clear, he could see Darren was saving him with mouth-to-mouth care.
It took him a few seconds to realize what had happened, but when it fell on him, he pushed Darren off of him with a strength he didn't know he had. Chris turned into a little ball, as he pushed himself to the headboard, pulling up his knees and embracing himself. His lips trembled as he tried not to cry and he looked at Darren like he was a monster.

"Don't touch me", he whispered, a few tears rolling down his face.

"I don't know what happened", Darren muttered desperately, passing his trembling hands through his hair.

"You just destroyed me!" Chris yelled, throwing his hands in the air. "I'm this close to hating you." He put his fingers next to each other to show how little patience had left for Darren.

"I- You can't blame me if you can't deal with your own shit!" Darren said loudly, startling Chris. "I said I'm taking the dog and you just fainted! How is that supposed to make me feel? How do I even act on it?" He got out of the bed.

"My own-" Chris shook his head, not believing what he was hearing. "You're stupid. Get away from here." He muttered.

"Maybe it's better! Maybe I can go running back to that hot hooker I attend all the events with and fuck her senseless!" Darren had a devious smile that didn't reach his eyes. His words were like knives stabbing Chris a million times a second; he didn't sound anything like the Darren that Chris knew.

"What the fuck?- Get out! And if you touch Cooper, I'll-I'll-"
Chris didn't know what he would do and that was what killed him, actually, because Cooper was a gift that he gave to Darren on his birthday the previous year.

"What are you gonna do? Now I see. Maybe I don't love you", he said with an arched eyebrow.

Chris gasped at that and fought the urge to slap Darren's face.

"Fuck you. You're being an asshole! Why don't you just go?" Chris yelled. The angry tears wouldn't leave his eyes.

"Because I want you to feel the pain I'm feeling right now!" Darren placed a hand in his heart and closed it into a fist.

"You wouldn't have to be feeling this pain right now if you were a little less dumb or were more loyal to me!" Chris jumped up from the bed, taking Darren's shirt that was next to him. He threw it at him fiercely and bit his lip hard.

"I feel like I have nothing left here", Darren muttered, putting the shirt on.

"Maybe I don't love you either. I don't care. I just want you to go!" Chris sobbed with a force that almost made him bend down.

"I-I-Fuck you, Chris Colfer," Darren said in a voice that sounded nothing like him as he caught up his things and left.

Chris sat on the ground next to their bed and cried his heart out. He didn't even care how loud it was; he just wanted to cry his pain away. The last thing he heard was Darren whistling and murmuring things, probably to Cooper, the sound of the door closing. Chris looked around and saw the things that were missing and cried even louder.

It was over now. For real.

Chris knew it was real because even though he and Darren used to fight hard, they had never gotten to the edge of one of them walking away from the other's life.

The next morning, Chris moped around the house, missing Cooper. Even Brian seemed to miss the dog because he spent all day lying on the dog's bed meowing nonstop, making Chris go nuts as he almost shouted to the cat to just stop.

Everything crumbled down on Monday morning when he arrived on set and the first thing he saw was Darren walking, no, dragging himself around. A few people came to greet Chris, and screamed in horror as they saw his face, shouting to the make-up people to try and make a miracle on Chris' face.