The Grave of Fireflies
"Mikoto-chan, what do you want most in your life?"
Despite the vulnerability, despite the frailty, despite the fact that she was paralyzed from shoulders to toes and she couldn't move a muscle even for a little; it didn't escape her, when the shadow from the past began to softly sing on her ears, knocking the door of her memory. It was a question she heard via cell phone when the moon was hiding behind the cloud, a question from her mother just before the superintendent of Academy City denounced the final battle. Somehow, she didn't really remember the answer that she gave; but at least, she knew that it was an important answer too worthy to be forgotten.
(She didn't really know why the memory appeared in front of her twins of eternity, but all of them were forgotten when she opened her eyes.)
Misaka Mikoto lifted her eyes laboriously, only to know that the ceiling over her replied with its lifeless, toneless look. It almost took all her strengths only to survey the perimeter, and it was sickening to know that she couldn't move her body for even a little. She blinked in an effort to ease the pain, but knowing that her effort was futile, she just sighed.
It was cold, horribly windy and unimaginably cold that the hazel haired girl could even feel the chilly breeze penetrating the thick wall of the hospital. It was winter and the weather was filled with freezing draft, so much different from the winter that she used to recognize in Japan. The winter in Rome was indeed frosty and she was confounded a little bit by the fact that she could even feel the chill slightly in spite of her paralysis.
All the thoughts of the weather shifted as she recalled everything that had happened here in Rome. It was one unforgettable experience, just like what she managed to reflect, something that would make the final battle of World War III seemed like nothing but children's fight. She knew that she could just have stood as a bystander, watching the whole scenery just like a scared kitten. But it was Misaka Mikoto's place and action in the world, to be the one who helped, to be the one who was also helped at the same time, and all the things happened only because of a certain spiky haired guy. Yeah, frankly speaking, it was the second time the hazel haired girl left her native city only to give aid to the aforementioned Kamijou Touma.
And also, perhaps, it was her reckless action that led her into this state, but until now, she had no regret.
It was the time when Aleister Crowley, whom she eventually recognized as the general superintendent of Academy City, was about to destroy a whole group of nuns (she managed to know that the name was Agnese Santics or whatever). Coincidentally, she was separated with the said spiky haired guy, and ended up meeting him. Ignoring the fact that she was maybe infected by his misfortune, ignoring the great difference of power, she braved Aleister Crowley alone. It was not a balance battle, for Aleister relentlessly blasting various beams and all her powers were reflected once it almost landed on his body. And there; just when she almost lost and all the hope had gone, just when the blood smeared her warrior's pride, her hero eventually came in the form of Kamijou Touma.
And the world crushed into her gnarled shoulders when a spell successfully landed on her body.
The pain was so excruciating and crushing, something that wouldn't be forgotten by her analytical mind until the end of her life (and it might not be long). She felt something burned her while other things stabbed her, or maybe even worse than that. Her blood vessels were squeezed and she found it hard to breathe, suffocated by invisible threats that constricted her lungs. All the seven-generations of bad luck fell upon her and if only the Imagine Breaker didn't negate the spell, she would be dead on the spot.
But still, she would die, it was just the matter of time.
After the battle had ended, after Aleister Crowley was nothing but the shadow of nightmare, she was taken (bridal-style, by a certain spiky haired guy, and she still couldn't wipe out that crimson color on her cheeks despite her condition) to the nearest hospital. The doctors raised their eyebrows regarding the sudden paralysis in her body, finding it hard to comprehend that a healthy adolescent could suffer such misfortune that brought about tears. They locked themselves in the meeting room, discussing and arguing every possibility that would only be discarded by a mere blink. Eventually, they concluded the whole things and confronted her and Kamijou Touma with sad expressions.
The paralysis was uncured, and it was just the beginning, the prologue, because it was just the beginning of pain that could lead to her death. And her death itself, so low and final, was expected to happen this week.
She remembered that she was dead in speech, staring at the doctors with a look of disbelief that she would never imagine. The spiky haired guy himself, didn't know what to say, until he eventually turned into rampage, shouting all the words of denial and grief. She was sad, and also afraid to the very core, knowing the truth that she didn't have so much time in this world. For all life she had always thought that she didn't want to die. She had so much to live for and so much yet to do, and also, it was almost impossible that she would leave all the people that she dearly loved.
She sighed...
And that was, a signal. The unbearable pain abruptly came into her, and all the realities that were showed via her eyes were swaying around, successfully bringing her from the world of truth to the world of illusions. She gritted her teeth to ease the pain but still, it was too much for a fragile girl like her. Then, she fainted, and her breath was so weak that one could mistake her as a dead girl.
It was the beginning, the sound of the death lurking from the darkness to take her life. Her time was limited.
Kamijou Touma watched the falling snow flakes in grief. Sitting on the bench in the garden outside the hospital, his mind was filled with nothing but the images of a certain hazel haired girl. The image of her chasing him, the image of her blushing, the image of her dragging him in a fake date, the image of her crying out for him, the image of her screeching at him, just everything. Those images were gone, shifted to the image of a crying Misaka Mikoto who was afraid to face the death, and he just couldn't do anything. He felt useless; a feeling that he wouldn't forgive for any centuries he lived in this world, and the bitter draft of winter or the darkness of the night had nothing to do with the grief inside his heart.
He wondered why, the fate decided to give such future to the hazel haired girl. For all life he always hoped that nobody that he knew or he didn't know wouldn't be hurt, wouldn't have to carry the horrible fate on their shoulders. And Misaka Mikoto was not an exception... she was even somehow special for him for he knew that he didn't mind to give the world in a silver platter for Misaka Mikoto and only for Misaka Mikoto. Nevertheless, his thought was only an illusion, because instead of giving the world, he just gave her the hell; a fate that she shouldn't have to face if only she never met him. Why must she receive that fate? Why must she die?
(But it was a delayed realization of his, for what he hoped could never be, for the emptiness and memory would take the place of all the one he loved eventually, and one of the people he loved was Misaka Mikoto.)
He thought of her again, and the sting inside his heart opened to reveal nothing but memories that he would always cherish, and the shed of tears that he invariably resisted finally came out every time her image was captured. His face lifted up, surveying the perimeter that brought a sense of gloom that could be considered suitable with his feeling right now, permeating the sky slowly but surely. And for ten minutes, he could still be seen, braving the winter's chill alone, trying to diminish his languished emotion for even a span of seconds.
The silence faded away, disappeared into another dimension as his cell phone exposed its glory and rang loudly in the midst of the snow. He took the cell phone quikly and answered the call.
It was, just like what Kamijou Touma managed to reflect, the beginning of an end.
Just when Kamijou Touma received the news about the condition of a certain scientific Railgun, he dashed straight to the hospital, storming off Misaka Mikoto's room without any sense of courtesy at all. And what he found was just the figure of the hazel haired girl lying lifelessly on the bed, with a toneless expression that was so foreign for her. The spiky haired guy stared grimly at the doctors and nurses who circled her; wailed loudly and the dead got a chance to live again.
"Doctor!" the spiky haired guy roared, and those intelligent people backed away for a little. "She is still alive, right?" he demanded.
"Y-y-y-yeah," one of the doctor, the oldest of them, stuttered, despite the fact that Touma had a potential to kill him if his answer didn't satisfy him. "B-b-b-but I'm afraid that she didn't have any chance to wake up again anymore."
And the entire trials and tribulations that he had faced until now were nothing compared to the grief that he felt, as the whole room suddenly became nothing but mere shadows. He felt all the burdens from the entire world on his shoulders as he stared at the doctors with a look of disbelief. He was void, so vacant, and so fragile that it only needed a slight push to shatter him into pieces. His twin of eternities found themselves looking at the figure of the hazel haired girl; he weakly paced to approach Misaka Mikoto and knelt next to her bed.
She was so silent, so serene.
He took her hand, a feeling that would never be forgotten by him as he carried on to live. A tear fell from his eyes and the spiky haired guy eventually spoke, whispering a plea that he really wanted to tell since the first time he met her.
"I'm sorry..."
...
"Kamijou Touma?"
The said call, spoken with such frankness and emotion, was the thing that woke him up. It was a voice that he really wanted to hear, a voice from the girl that he met at first in front of the vending machine of memory. He could also hear some gasps from the doctors and also the nurses, utterly shocked and surprised by the scene in front of them. He finally gathered his courage and lifted his eyes, only to find that his sight mesmerized him and for the first time, he felt a bless of fortune inspite of his Imagine Breaker's curse.
Yes. It was Misaka Mikoto. Misaka Mikoto with reddened eyes and her aura could be vaguely sensed, speaking to him weakly and Kamijou Touma felt an utter sense of relief in his heart.
(It was also, the first time she called his name.)
"It's a miracle!" the doctor said.
Yes, it was. But still, looking at her condition and all, everybody could know that it was her spirit to live, intention to live, and desire to open her eyes, were the one that woke her up, for he knew that her body didn't even support her, and his heart broke every time he reminded himself.
"I'll die, won't I?" she said weakly, smiling slightly despite the horrible truth that the spiky haired guy really wanted to erase, and he found himself reluctant to answer her. "I know that, so you should stop that cry or I'll spark you into pieces," she tried to grin but her energy didn't allow her to.
He smiled.
"So, Misaka," the spiky haired guy began speaking. " Do you have anything in mind to tell me?"
He couldn't say something like 'the last wish' or 'in the last day of your life', because it was not something he hoped for. Nevertheless, the said hazel haired girl smiled at him again, knowing the excruciating truth that he really wanted to conceal. And there, in the hospital's room, she said what she really wanted with an honesty that she showed for the last time, channeled through the arrangement of words which sounded so sincere, so truthful, and so original for her.
"I wanted to see the stars, with you..."
An old once said that it needed strength to love, but it also needed courage to be loved. It needed strength to be firm, but it needed courage to be gentle. It needed strength to live, nonetheless, it needed courage to face the death. So, it needed courage to do everything, any single moment or chance that occured inside the circle where humans resided. It took courage to do something defining, including to end something.
The spiky haired guy was going outside the hospital, pushing a wheelchair which Misaka Mikoto sat on. It was silence which accompanied their paces as they made their way out, but still, they seemed to be so comfortable with each other, knowing that the presences of each other could warm their hearts, regardless the weather, regardless the chill, regardless everything. Nevertheless, just when the air and odor of the winter greeted them outside, they stared at the sky in disbelief, and all the thoughts of seeing the stars were gone in a second.
The sky was dark, so cloudy that it was almost grey in color. Indeed, it was winter and the thick cloud was present outside, and blind men or not, everybody could know that seeing the stars in winter was improbable. It was something that eventually snapped his mind as he gritted his teeth in exasperation and slight anger.
He shifted his glance to the direction of the hazel haired girl. Indeed, the weather was freezing bite, but it seemed that the sweater and scarf were much enough to give her warmth. She sighed and smiled weakly, knowing that something she really wanted would never come true. Yet beyond that, he could see a frail being, as though her last wish was something that she really wanted, so desperately needed.
"Misaka..." he said weakly in the midst of the snow.
"It's okay," she smiled, so calm and tranquil that he was slightly shocked by her contrast attitude with what she used to be. It was as though she was ready to face the death, or it was because she had accepted everything with bare hands, or maybe, the lack of energy that made her unable to expose her usual loud personality. But still, it was funny to know that someone who would face the death would be so calm, so different, and his heart wrecked everytime he recalled the said thought.
"Really, it's okay," she smiled again, "I'm... ugh!"
She suddenly groaned in pain, squeezing her eyes and those were adequate to let Kamijou Touma knew that she was in the line of life and death. She appeared to be suffocated by an invisible hand that only brought pain. The spiky haired guy approached her in haste.
"Misaka! Are you okay?" he shouted.
"I-I-I'm okay," she stuttered weakly, and the color of her skin became paler and paler. She just closed her eyes again, and maybe even the hazel haired girl knew that her time was really limited.
Kamijou Touma scanned his peripheral area. If this was really the last day of Misaka Mikoto, he would be by her side, fulfilling her wish regardless the fact that the weather and the world was against him. And there, just when he was about to lose hope and his ears almost couldn't resist the continuous groan of pain from her, his sight caught something, a sparkling light in the bushes. It was a firefly, and a bright idea passed his mind.
He ran to the nearest bushes, taking a branch from the ground, and waggling the bushes wildly with the afore-mentioned branch. And after ten seconds of the continuous activity, all the fireflies escaped from the bushes, fulfilling the sky over his head, and the spiky haired guy ran back to Misaka Mikoto.
"Misaka!" he panted slightly, but his voice was loud enough to be heard. He knelt beside her and pointed at the sky. "Look! The stars!"
And Misaka Mikoto, despite the fact that she shouldn't have any strength left to even lift her face, looked at the scenery which the spiky haired guy pointed at, and what she saw was beyond beautiful, something that she never saw in the world until now. It was the sky, full of the glistening orbs of stars. The fireflies that escaped from the bushes found themselves in the sky, filling it with nothing but the orbs of light. But still, she was beyond happy, as her last wish finally came true. In the very pivotal moment, when her strength eventually left her, the memory days of old, like a dream that was too sweet to be casted away, calling from the deepest heart of Misaka Mikoto, resounding...
"What I want... is to be with the one I love forever..."
The end was fast, so quick that she didn't feel anything but the sudden darkness and the disappearance of views. But still, a tear fell from her eyes, frozen by the snow, as memorable as the winter itself. She was dead, but she died in peace, with the proof of a smile which was found on her face. She died peacefully, and she had no regret in living.
And the spiky haired guy, who finally noticed and knew that the soul of hers had finally left the world, cried in the snow, embracing her with a very warm hug.
Misaka Mikoto had left the world.
He was so quiet, so solemn.
Just like everybody in the funeral. As he surveyed the area, he could notice that so many people came. Shirai Kuroko with her friends, some that he recognized as the Tokiwadai students, her parents, his parents, a certain Aztec magician with a girl that relentlessly comforted him, Misaka 10032, Last Order with Accelerator (he was somehow sad), Hamazura Shiage with his group of girls, the whole Agnese Santics, all the Saints and even Index appeared to be so sad, even though he heard that Misaka Mikoto was just like... well, nemesis for her?
He, dressed in black, was not surprised at all. She was indeed a heroine of the never-ending story, and she was not the one to be forgotten. Just when her coffin would be placed in the grave, he thought of her last day that was only surrounded by the coldness of winter, and today was not an exception. But, knowing that so many people came to send her to the next world, the spiky haired guy thought that she would like the warmth.
Something in the analytical mind of Kamijou Touma clicked and he recalled the last time he spent with her. He remembered the fireflies, something that finally raised confusion in his mind. Shouldn't fireflies hate the coldness of winter? Shouldn't fireflies appear only in summer or spring? How could those fireflies appear from the bushes?
And then, the conclusion finally reached his mind: it must be miracle at its finest.
He thought of a great deity that Index always called as God, and he couldn't help but wondered whether God really existed or not.
The spiky haired guy approached Misaka Mikoto's grave, slouching slightly to read the words that were crafted on her epitaph. It said...
"The light from our household is gone, a voice we loved is stilled, a place is vacant in our hearts, which can never be filled. Here lies a hero, a friend, an inspiration, a family, and for the most important part, a girl loved by all..."
He smiled.
And so, for the dead fourteen-years-old-girl, for the one that he loved the most, and for the fact that she was just fourteen years old and she had braved all the enemies that would crush the world without any hesitation, he knelt in front of Misaka Mikoto's grave, bowing, closing his eyes in sync. There, he recalled every memory with her, the good one and the bad, something that he would cherish even though he was no longer there, and he was sure of it.
A tear fell from his orbs of eternity, but still, he smiled.
Guys, this is the last fiction for this month, since I'll go to Bali Island with my friend in a school vacation. I'm sorry that I can't fulfill all the requests, but still, I'm trying to write some. Please review. I'm not a native speaker, and I'm still an amateur. Please be nice and review!