Warning: The following fic kind of sucks.
Why, do you ask?
Well, I've been feeling very bitchy the past few weeks due to some family issues. Because of this, I began writing an angst fic. Angst normally isn't my genre of choice and attempting to write it threw me completely off track. Now, I'm incapable of writing anything! Not even a short little piece of fluff! I'm so sad!
That's right, folks…all this time I never thought it would happen to me…and now I'm suddenly suffering from a severe case of writer's block. I mean, the ideas are all there, but when I sit at my computer and try to type… nothing will come out. It's very frustrating. It feels like I'm mentally constipated or something… XD
So, anyway…you really don't have to read this if you don't want to. This fic is simply a pathetic attempt to try and get myself writing again.
I'm not too pleased with the way this one turned out. (cries)
Oh, and feel free to laugh your ass off at the way I described Collins climbing the tree. I was never able to climb trees as a kid…so I have no clue about how you do it. For some reason, I really cracked myself up while writing that…
"Isn't this just the most beautiful day?!" Angel sighed happily, giving the hand of her lover a gentle squeeze.
Collins glanced at her, grinning. "Yup. Sure is. Makes me wanna sing that song by U2…."
Angel giggled, giving him a small, playful wink "You'd better not, honey. We don't want to traumatize the people here any further!"
The professor snorted good naturedly at Angel's words, rolling his eyes.
"Ha! People 'round here can get scarred for life by almost anything…"
Meow!
Both lovers stopped in their tracks at the soft, high pitched little mewing sound. Collins let his eyes roam, searching for the source of that sound.
Meow!
Suddenly, a rather loud squeal popped out of Angel. Collins jumped a mile, his eyes widening.
"What is it, baby?? What-"
"A KITTEN!!" Angel whispered excitedly, pointing to the nearest tree off to the side.
Collins whirled around and, sure enough, he spotted a small Calico cat perched on a low hanging branch.
"Awww! What a cutie!!! Let's take him home with us!" Angel gripped onto Collins' arm, dragging him over to the tree.
"Ang….he's probably already got a home!" Collins chuckled, shaking his head.
"Well, yeah…I suppose you're right…." Angel sighed softly, pouting just a little. "But still…"
The cat let out another adorable little mewing sound, prompting Angel to squeal even louder than she did before.
Collins let his gaze casually travel back and forth….from the cat to his lover. If he didn't know any better, he would've sworn that the lil' furball was stealing his woman right out from under his nose…
"Whatchya doin' up there, little one??" Angel cooed. She shaded her eyes from the sunshine as she grinned up at the cat.
And then a horrifying idea hit her.
"Oh my God, honey…!!" Angel's eyes widened. She turned her head to look at her lover.
"What??" Collins raised an eyebrow, slightly confused by Angel's sudden change in mood.
"…What if he's stuck up there??"
Collins took a moment to let it all soak in. Once more, his attention was pulled back to the animal.
"I never really thought of that, Ang. Maybe you're right…"
"Well, shouldn't we call someone…like the Fire Department??" Angel asked him, a note of desperation creeping into her tone.
"Relax, Angelcake. There's no need to call them and create a huge scene over a lil' cat. I'll just go up there and rescue it. He's really not that high up…" Collins offered her a comforting smile, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close.
"Are…you sure about that??" The drag queen asked her boyfriend hesitantly. "I don't want you to get hurt..."
Collins released his grip on Angel, approaching the tree trunk. He turned his head to flash her a quick grin.
"Yup! Don't worry 'bout it. I'll be careful. I used to climb trees all the time as a kid."
Angel watched, wide eyed and nervous as her lover proceeded to do just that. In a matter of seconds, Collins' right hand was gripping onto a tree branch while his legs were wrapped around the trunk of the tree for support. He reached out to a now growling cat with his free hand.
"Heeeere kitty, kitty, kitty….." He soothed gently. "I'm trying to help you!"
The cat, still perched on the branch, hissed loudly. His ears were flat on his head, his tail began to twitch in warning. The large, blue eyes glared at him.
What a pissy little thing…
"Oh, stop it…" Collins reached for him again, ignoring the obvious anger of the animal.
In the blink of an eye, the cat swiped at his outstretched hand with a paw, scratching him hard enough to draw blood.
Collins gasped in surprise and pain. He jerked his hand back while the other hand lost its grip on the tree branch.
Angel's eyes widened in horror. She flinched instinctively, knowing what was about to happen.
The cat leaped out of the tree and landed gracefully on its feet, just as cats always do. It took off down the sidewalk.
Collins, however, was not a cat. He landed on his ass. Hard.
"Oh my gosh! Baby…are you okay?!" Angel rushed to him. She reached down and gripped him under the arms, managing to pull him (with slight difficulty) to his feet.
"Owwww…!" Collins grunted. He winced. "That little fucker!!"
"Sweetie, it's just a little cat. He didn't know any better." Angel soothed, kissing him softly on the cheek.
"But, Angeeel….it fuckin' hurt!" Collins whined.
Smiling softly, Angel reached out and gently gripped onto his wrist, pulling his injured hand close to inspect the wounds.
"I could kiss this better, if you'd like." Angel offered, her tone remaining sympathetic.
Collins nodded, his expression softening just a little. "Okay, I guess…."
"And how about I give you a back massage as soon as we get home, honey? It'll help with the aches and the pains."
Collins thought about it, then he grinned widely.
"Angelcake…my ass hurts a hell of a lot more than my back!"
THE END
A/N: Crappy, I know. (dodges flying tomatoes)
The cat in this story is based off of my own cat, Magi. I like to call her 'Mangy'. She is SO CUTE!!