That's right, I'm back. Have some things in the works that I'll be getting out before school starts up again. But for now, a little Summer angst.
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She hates thinking about this. She wished she could stop.
But her mind wouldn't quit racing.
He did this to her, he always did this to her.
Made her think of what her life could have been, how things could've been so different.
He just made his way to the cash register, as she watched silently two tills over.
Every now and then she'd see him. He'd cut off his jew fro. He was so grown-up, so 'not' Seth Cohen...but Seth Cohen.
She imagined he still loved comic books, and fit in time to play video games.
She watched as he wrapped his arm around his wife's waste and gently kissed her forehead.
Sometimes she'd see them together.
Shopping in the mall..
Walking down by the pier..
Eating at Spaloonies...
He used to hate shopping with her.
He used to complain that a bird would shit on him, or it was too 'cliche' down by the pier.
How Spaloonies has some pretty shitty food that made him gassy.
But, he knew it would make her happy. So he always did it. He always made sacrifices for her.
She never did for him.
But now she watches from afar, taking in his view. Imagining his scent.
She knows she could have had this.
She knows she could have his arm wrapped around her, this very second.
She knows that the stroller he's pushing back and forth could be there own little Cohen.
But he moved on, because she gave up.
She just..left in a sense.
Left without really being gone.
She left with Zack.
She left with Brain.
Sean. Mark. Adam. Paul. Justin.
She left with anyone, who could get her thoughts off of him.
But it only led her closer.
Led her closer to the fact she still wanted his touch, his smell, his all.
She wanted to be a Cohen.
She wanted a little Seth.
But she couldn't have anything.
Because he was happy.
Because this girl didn't make him cry.
This girl didn't make him feel stupid.
This girl would have been enough for him to never sail away if his best friend left.
This girl didn't deny him.
This girl loved him, from the very start.
Now, she wished she wouldn't have been so afraid to do the same thing.