Kaoru amazes me, no matter how sick he feels, he makes sure I know he's there for me. It's my fault he's sick, on days when Kao doesn't go to school, I rush home to find him resting in our bed. Normally, despite his stomach pains and headaches that can get pretty bad, he greets me with a smile and I get the feeling that everything will be alright.

But today was different, today Kaoru wasn't smiling, he was lying in our bed staring out the window quietly, his hands resting on his belly. He was pale and my heart sank as I walked over to him.

"Hey little brother." I greeted gently, I put my blue Ouran jacket on the back of the chair that sat by our bed and lowered myself onto the edge of the bed. He didn't seem to hear me. I reach out and take his hand carefully and finally he looks at me.

"Hika, you're home early, did something happen?" He was obviously concerned. I allow myself to give my twin a reassuring smile.

"I just missed you, that's all. How are you feeling?"

"I feel okay I guess."He answers weakly, I look at him skeptically, I know better by now.

"Kao, talk to me, I know you're not feeling well. You look like you-"

"It's fine, I'm just...tired." he tells me. "I just took my medicine so I won't be up much longer. I didn't know you were coming back so early, I would've waited."

"You shouldn't wait for it, no matter when I come home. You know what can happen if you do. I'd rather have you sleep and be okay than for you to have to go to the hospital" He smiles faintly.

"You always look after me big brother, thank you." I can hear the sadness in his voice.

"Kao, what's wrong, you can tell me." I have to know what to do to help him.

"I told you, it's-"

"Did I do something?" He gives my hand a slight squeeze.

"No. I just need some rest." I feel myself beginning to panic, Kaoru doesn't say that unless he's feeling really sick or just when his chest starts to hurt.

"Kaoru, I need you to tell me. I'm worried about you. Are you sick, do you need a doctor or-"

"No. Hika, I'm okay." he said again. I wish I could believe him.

"If you are sick, I-"

"I'm always sick but that's not- fine, you want me to tell you what's really bothering me?" I sigh, judging by his tone, I'm not sure I do.

"What's wrong?" I keep hold of his hand.

"A lot of things, this shouldn't have to happen." He said only confusing me more.

"What shouldn't?"

"You came home because you were worried about me. There's so many things you should be doing, trying to have a life of your own and doing the things you want to do. I take up so much of your time Hika, you're my brother, not my doctor, it'd not your job to drop everything and tend to me, it's not fair to you."

"Kao, it's not like that at all. I want to be here, you're the most important-"

"No, you need to have the chance to live your life, I don't want to hold you back anymore, it's not right to expect you to constantly take care of me. I'm thinking about talking to our parents about sending me to that place the doctor told us about the last time I was in the hospital and-"

"The hell you will, Kaoru that's not a place you need to be in and I-I'd miss you so much. I can take care of you here, you're not-" I'm having a difficult time continuing the conversation, knowing what Kaoru was suggesting.

"Don't you ever get tired of it Hikaru?" He asked in tears.

"Tired of what?" I wasn't sure I wanted the answer.

"Keeping me here, haven't you just once thought about how different your life would be if you didn't have to worry about me, if you could do anything you wanted and not watch the clock to be home in time to give me my medicine, if I didn't keep you up at night because I needed you to help me get through the pain. You wouldn't need to sit in the hospital or doctor office and you could be so much more if I just d-" I wrap my arms around him and hold him tight. It;s rare that Kaoru let's his illness get the best of him like this and as much as it hurts me, I know it's important to let him get it out. This time he's gone too far and I can't take anymore of it.

"Don't you ever say that to me. You are not a burden to me and I have never once thought anything would be better without you. Not one day has gone by in our fifteen years of life that you've been anything but my best friend Kaoru. You're the strongest person I know and damn it I will keep you here as long as I can because I'm weak without you. You are my rock and I love you baby brother, I love you so much more than you know. I'm begging you don't do this. You're a gift Kaoru and I couldn't imagine not having you with me. Hikaru without Kaoru... it doesn't make sense. I need you to stay with me." I said forcing him to look into my eyes. He laid there silently for a few minutes before reaching up and brushing my tears away with his thumbs before pulling me closer to rest my head on his chest.

"I'm so sorry Hikaru, this all so frustrating and sometimes it's just too much for me." I can't imagine what he's going through. To know that not only does he have to deal with the stomachaches and headaches but his heart problem which I caused when I refused to wait when we were born is devastating to me. The one person I love more than anything, my baby brother, my gift and I've hurt him. We hold each other for a while before he starts to drift off into sleep. I stroke his hair softly.

"Hika?" he calls as he begins to close his eyes.

"what is it Kaoru?" I ask gently.

"Thank you, for being my keeper, I'm sorry about what I-"

"Shh, Kaoru, just rest now, everything's going to be alright, everyone gets frustrated. Sleep will help you feel better and when you wake up, I'll be right here beside you." I promise trying to sound calm.

"Like always." he says with a smile. I smile back.

"Yeah Kaoru, always and forever."