p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;"em style="box-sizing: border-box;" Song lyrics are italicized and memories are in strongbold/strong type. I don't claim to be the person that wrote them, or the one that makes any profit from them. That goes to Gareth and Roxanne Emery and Rains./em /p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" The time had finally come. I got down on one knee and pulled a small box containing something that would change our lives forever. Everybody in the restaurant and myself eagerly awaited his reply. I smiled brightly at him and watched as his eyes widened as they gazed upon the ring in the small black box I held in my left hand. The longer he hesitated, the more nervous I felt. We always talked about getting married, but now that I've popped the question, he isn't giving me an answer./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" I felt like an idiot and was about to get off the ground and walk away for good when he stated in a nearly inaudible tone, "Please Si, give me some time to think this over. I do love you, but I just need to think this over. Dave and Theodore don't even know that I'm in love with my best friend and we just barely moved in together. This is a lot to take in at once."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" Feeling somewhat relieved that he still loves me, I sat down and we finished our meal in awkward silence as the other patrons in the restaurant returned to their meals. When we got home, I went into the music room and thought of the memories we've shared. As I thought back on our time together, I felt compelled to vent how I felt the only way I know how. Through music./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;"The first time I seen Alvin,we were in sixth grade. He was the caption of the football team and I struggled with fitting into the crowd of outcasts. He shot a glance my way and I blushed when I noticed how beautiful he looked. It was the first time that almost anybody acknowledged my existence./span/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"Sometimes I lie awake and think about the day. I watch you walk around with your eyes half open./em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;"One day I was stressed because somebody had posted information that I had told a 'friend' in confidence. He swore that he'd never tell, but low and behold, he did. I had recently started smoking in an attempt to relieve stress. Alvin spotted me outside the school yard smoking one day and promised not to tell anybody what he'd seen if he could bum a few smokes off of me every now and again. Since that day, we've become the best of friends./span/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"I smoke one more cigarette and start it all over. You're scared to face your own lives. You let it pass you by./em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;"Not long after Alvin and I became friends, he told me things about him that nobody else in the world knew or would have expected from him. Some of which shocked me. I think if it wasn't for me then he would have spiraled into a deep depression. Sometimes when I look at him I can tell he's still coming to terms with being gay and the person he's become./span/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"Why don't you open your eyes and see the door is closing? You always wait five minutes for it to come. Five minutes and it's over, over./em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;"em style="box-sizing: border-box;" /emspan style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;"The more I thought about our life together, the more I became depressed. How could he just blatantly ignore my love for him in front of the restaurant It's not like I've found anybody else that makes me feel like he does, nor do I think there would be anybody in the universe that would make me feel the way he does. Even during pointless arguments, it's clear that we love each other./span/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"You seem to think your life's just begun, five minutes and it's over, over./em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;"I laid on the operating room table as they prepped me for surgery. What was perceived to be a stomach virus turned out to be appendicitis. If it hadn't been diagnosed when it was then my life would have been over. It's weird how fragile life can be without you even knowing it until it's either too late or almost too late./span/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"There's a man in the kitchen with a shovel. A million dollars on the dining room table. Now every day he puts a little in the oven. You can spend as much or as little as you're able./em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;"em style="box-sizing: border-box;" /emspan style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;"Because of Alvin, I followed my dream and became a musician. The first song that I wrote was dedicated to him. No sooner than I had the demo recorded, I was signed to a major record label. Ian never liked it when he came to vocal tracking cessions, but it felt more meaningrful to me when he was there. Even though we have vast quantities of money, it hasn't changed us like it would with most people./span/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"You're all so scared to face your own lives. You let it pass you by. Why don't you open your eyes, see what the man in burning?/em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;"em style="box-sizing: border-box;" /emspan style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;"I never could have imagined that he and I would make it this far. How nobody's clued on that we're a couple is beyond me. I looked up for a moment and wiped a tear away from my face then continued to write./span/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"It's your life, it's your life. Why don't you spend it the best you can? It's your life, it's your life. You always wait five minutes and it's over, over. You seem to think your life's just begun. Five minutes and it's over, over./em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" I felt much better after writing down those simple, yet moving words. As I read over the lyrics, I could hear the melodic and harmonic structure in my head. If I didn't record it as soon as possible I would forget it. I walked down to the recording booth in our basement passing by our room./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" I peaked through the crack in the door and seen Alvin with his back facing me. He was hunched over looking at something. Most likely, he was nursing a glass of cheap whiskey. I wanted to say something to him, but I still felt hurt. I kept walking to the booth./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" It took me a few minutes to set up the mic, but once I had it done it took me no time to record the song in one take. When I walked out of the booth, I seen Alvin sitting at the mixing board. As I closed the door behind me, he pulled me into a tight embrace. I wanted to push him away from me, but at the same time, I couldn't resist him. His scent, his silky red hair rubbing against my face, the warmth of his body against mine and the way it felt genuine and surreal all at once. /p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" "I think I'm going to sleep alone tonight. I just want you to know..." He hesitated for a moment then continued, "I'll always love you no matter what. I couldn't imagine my life without you Simon Hunter." He stated as he leaned his head on my shoulder./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" I couldn't understand why he was acting like this. Usually he always praises my song writing skills. Somehow I knew that this would be something he would have to work through alone. We walked back upstairs and went to separate rooms. I laid on the big bed that was too large for one person. I felt alone as I tried to sleep to no avail. Every time I closed my eyes I seen his face smiling at me warmly yet perplexingly. His dark blue eyes glistening like the rays of the sun glaring through the most pure oceans on a sunny day./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" Before I knew it, it was morning and I hadn't gotten a moment of rest. My body and my mind felt numb from the night before. The scotch I drank with dinner probably made matters worse. I poured myself a cup of coffee and sat at the table running my fingers through my hair./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" I thought, "em style="box-sizing: border-box;"What if he says he doesn't want to marry me? What if he never really loved me? What if he says yes but it's only for appearances? What if he doesn't want to marry me because he has another lover that I don't know about and he's trying to protect me?/em"/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" The sound of scraping metal against a hard wood floor disrupted my thoughts. Alvin sat next to me and jokingly stated after kissing me on the cheek, "Good morning...even though you look and smell like something from a dumpster."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" I smiled even though I wasn't amused with his attempt at being funny. I was about to take a sip of my coffee when he took the cup from in front of me. He quickly took a drink of it and handed it back to me. "A little early for Irish coffee, don't you think?" He asked as he poured himself a cup of coffee./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" Taking a deep breath and looking down at the cup I replied, "After last night I think i need it more than I need oxygen. I wish that last night went differently."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" The smile on his face faltered as he scooted closer to me. What I said probably came out more harsh than what I intended for it to. Nevertheless, I still felt heartbroken. Maybe we emaren't/em right for each other like everybody says./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" After a few seconds of silence Alvin spoke up, "I understand if you want to break up now. I was a dick to you last night and I'm so very sorry. I love you and I always will Simon Hunter."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" I replied in a stammered tone as I choked on a sip of coffee, "W-what would m-make you think that? I wouldn't have nightmares about leaving you. That's the worst thing that I can imagine. Ever since we were in the sixth grade, I knew I loved you. I loved you then, and I love you now. Nothing on Earth could change that. No recording contract, no fancy car, no big house or anything else in the universe. I would give up my music career for you at the drop of a hat if you were to ask me to. Where did you ever get an idea like that?"/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" He replied as stifled a tear and averted his gaze from me, "I heard the song you recorded last night and I thought that was going to be your way of dumping me. God I'm suck a fucking idiot!"/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" I embraced him tightly and let him sob into my shoulder. He seemed to be kicking himself harder than what I possibly could. I decided to cut him some slack even though I had so many 'what if' questions in the back of my mind. Alvin knows that I'll always love him no matter what happens. After last night I'm still a little weary about how he feels about me./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" Looking up form the tear stained shirt he leaned his head against he stated, "I hope that there's a way that I can make it up to you. I've never felt like this about anybody before. Nobody ever gave me a chance to be myself until you came along. I still remember the date like it was yesterday. It was February 12th, 2005 at 3:05 PM. I just finished with practice and was walking out of the locker room. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted the most beautiful guy that I've ever seen. I knew right then that I wanted to at least be your friend. I didn't think I had a snowball's chance in Hell of being able to be with you. I don't think you know how beautiful you are. Please Simon, don't give up on us. Be my little soldier. Wait a minute, I have an idea."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" Breaking contact with me, he ran into another room and grabbed a piece of paper and a pen. I ran after him, but I couldn't catch up with him. He sat at the dest in the music room scribbling away on the paper. I tried to sneak a peak, but he wouldn't have that./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" "I'm emnot /emgoing to let you see this until it's done!" He exclaimed as he hid the paper inside of his shirt./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" It was a good three and a half hours before he summoned me into the music room. Apparently, he had recorded, edited and mixed it all by himself. I was proud of that in itself, let alone the fact that it took me several years to get half as good as what I am. He had me sit in the chair as he sat in my lap. He wrapped his arms around my upper body and whispered 'this is for you' as he pressed play./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" I was surprised at what I heard. His voice is just as good as mine if not better. I couldn't get over the song he wrote for me./p
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"emI'm gonna stand right here, I'm not gonna move. And when the sky falls down, you'll find me next to you. I'm gonna stand right here and wait for your voice. And when the world's at war, you know we've got no choice. H-ey! When you hear the sound of the world on fire, and all you can see is a big red sky. When you know you can't make it on your own, I will be your soldier. When you're fallin' down and you're on the fence, I will be your shield, I will keep you safe. When you know you can't make it on your own I will be your soldier. When you hear the sound of the world on fire, and all you can see is a big red sky, when you know you can't make it on your own, I will be your soldier. When you're fallin' down and you're on the fence, I will be your shield, I will keep you safe. When you know you cna't make it on your own, I will be your soldier. H-ey! I will be your soldier. I will be your soldier./em/p
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"em /emAs the final note rang out, I felt a tear stream down my cheek. Alvin wiped it away, looked me in the eyes and stated, "I've made up my mind. I will marry you. I can't wait to be Hunter."/p
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;" I chimed in, "Or...I could be Seville. I like that. It has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?"/p