CHAPTER ONE - FIRST TIME

"Honey, are you sure?" My mother asked me, as we stood in front of the security line at the airport. She managed to sound sincere, even though I knew she was glad I was leaving.

"Yeah, mom. I think a change will be good." That wasn't a lie. I needed to get the fuck out of Phoenix.

"I know your father will be glad to see you."

"Yeah."

"Well. Call me if you need anything. I love you sweetie."

"You too."

She walked away, turning to wave after a few steps.

I was surprised when I felt the first sting of abandonment. It was afterall, my choice to move in with my father. And besides that, my relationship with my mother hadn't been great recently. We had been so close- more best friends than mother and daughter. Mark that as another thing that was taken from me.

I got through security and boarded without issue. The three hour flight went by quickly, and all too soon I was in Seattle.

My dad was standing outside the security gates. He looked just the same, except maybe a little older. His cheeks were flushed from the cold and he was smiling. I hoped it wasn't forced. I had seen that too much over the past three months

"Welcome home, Bella." Then he stepped forward and we had a very awkward and thankfully very brief hug.

"Thanks dad." We didn't really do the small talk thing, but as we walked to the parking he asked me about the flight, how my mom was doing, and where I was thinking of applying to school next year. My answers were: long, great and I'm not sure yet. I could tell he was avoiding the big question. "Why?" There were other questions too, I'm sure.

"Are you still crazy?"

"Will I come home to find you bleeding in the bathtub, just like your mom did?"

I know he came to see me in the hospital. I vaguely remember his chocolate brown eyes ringed red. That was when I was too drugged up to do much of anything. My mom told me later that he stayed with me for three days before being called back to Washington for work.

I searched for the pity in his eyes- or worse, the fear. That was the way my mom looked at me now. I knew it was my fault, but still.

I looked out the window into the lush green forest. Everything looked so alive, even in January. I might be able to live with this. Even the rain wasn't so bad, really, except for what it was doing to my hair. That was another gift from Charlie- curls that never seemed to behave. I could tame it somewhat in the dry heat of Phoenix, but considering the humidity, I saw a lot of messy buns in my future.

As we turned onto Charlie's street he spoke again. "I got you a little homecoming present."

That was unexpected. He must really be excited to have me here. As we approached the house I saw my gift. An old Chevy truck at least thirty years older than I was. I guess Charlie saw my expression and started talking rapidfire.

"It used to be Billy Black's- he's in a wheelchair now so he can't drive it, but it runs great," as if sensing my skepticism he went on.

"Really! Jacob- remember him? That's Billy's boy. He rebuilt the engine so you won't have any issues with that." I got out of the cruiser- Charlie is Chief Swan to the people of Forks, and examined my gift. To my surprise, I was kind of into it. It looked clunky but it had a little retro charm.

"I love it Dad."

He looked a little surprised. "Really?"

"Yeah. Thank you." I meant it.

My room was the same as I had left it, two summers ago. The only new additions were a brand new comforter and a coordinating lamp.

Charlie gestured to the bed, "I hope you like it. I had the lady at the store pick it out and I thought you liked blue." He was looking a little embarrassed again.

"It's great Dad. Thank you." For everything, I added in my head.

"No problem. I'll let you get sorted out in here." With that he walked downstairs and flipped on the TV.

I didn't bother unpacking. The day had been too long for me. I coped by crawling under the covers and falling into a deep sleep.

I was in the woods outside Charlie's house. It was dark outside, and only a sliver of moon was visible in the sky. I didn't know why I was here, but I needed to be. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breathe, revelling in the feeling that everything was okay.

Then, a twig snapped behind me and I saw those eyes, glowing red and then-

I woke up in a cold sweat. Same fucking dream every night. Sometimes the setting would change, but the eyes never did. I was just grateful I had stopped screaming myself awake.

A quick look at the clock informed me that it was 4:45AM. Too early to get ready for my first day, but I knew there was no way I could fall asleep again.

I got up and rifled through my suitcase until I found my shower bag and made my way to the bathroom. I spent a long time under the too-hot water, trying to wash away the remains of my dream.

When I got back to my room I surveyed my appearance in the long mirror attached to my closet door. My long brown hair hung down in its natural waves around my face. I looked so washed out, no color at all, plus all the weight I lost in the hospital made my cheeks look hollow. I popped on some mascara, eyeliner and some tinted chapstick just so I didn't look like a total zombie. I used to be a total makeup junkie, but I just didn't have the energy anymore. I pulled on a pair of worn jeans and the least wrinkled shirt from my suitcase. And with that, I was ready for my first day at Forks High.

And with only an hour and a half to spare!

I made my way downstairs, and Charlie was already up, eating breakfast.

He looked up at me and asked, "Hey, aren't teenagers supposed to sleep in?"

"Not this one," I said with a smile. He was trying.

We made small talk as I tried to choke down some cereal and then switched to watching the local news.

"Bella?" my dad asked, "It's time for school."

"Did I fall asleep?"

"Yeah, for a couple minutes." He gave me directions to school, promising that it was a straight shot from the highway.

I grabbed my bag and was halfway out the door before I heard him say, "Good luck Bells."

"Thanks Dad!" I called back. I was certainly going to need it.

My truck started just fine, suprising me a little. It ran great too, even if it was noisier than I would've liked. The radio worked too, and I adjusted the station, trying to find something good, while I drove. I flipped through the stations, from generic pop to gospel until I found an okay alternative station.

The high school was easy enough to find, straight off the highway like Charlie had said. It was strange though. Instead of the multi-level, gray building with chain link fences and a metal detector that had been my school in Phoenix, this was almost homey. It was laid out in a series of small brick buildings with little breezeways stretching out between them.

I drove around until I found the building labelled office and parked in what I could only assume was the student parking lot. I grabbed my backpack and made my way inside, ready to face my new school.

The office itself reminded me of the school. It was decorated the inside of a grandmother's home, complete with pillows that had inspirational sayings embroidered on them and a handknit afghans on the little couch by the door. The woman at the desk had a shock of orange hair that was piled in a bun at the top of her head. I imagined her living room looked a lot like the office.

"How can I help you, dear?"

"I'm Bella Swan, and I'm-"

She cut me off excitedly, "Oh, Isabella! Everyone's been expecting you. You know your father has been so happy these past few weeks, talking all about you,," Oh God. That meant everyone had heard about me. I could only hope embarrassing school pictures hadn't been involved.

"Here's a map of campus," she had highlighted the way to my classes. I liked her already.

"Thank you." I said with a smile.

"My pleasure sweetheart. And here's your schedule. Just have your teachers sign this sheet right here," She indicated to one of many pieces of paper in the folder she was holding, "And just bring it back here at the end of the day, alright?" She passed the folder over to me.

"Yes m'am." This was all a bit overwhelming.

She smiled at me, waving as I left.

Forks High was tiny. I liked the anonymity of the city. It didn't matter that I was an anxious mess most of the time. It meant no one noticed when I stopped showing up to school. Everyone blended in with the crowd, and that was how I liked it. I was already expecting a bit of a spectacle today. Forks High School had a total of 357 students, and didn't often see newcomers. I couldn't blend into the crowd here, no matter how badly I wanted to.

My first class was English with Mr. Masen. I stuck to my map and found my way there with time to spare before the first bell rung. The teacher was nice too, giving me the reading list and a syllabus.

The list was great, actually. Some Plath, Fitzgerald, Shakespeare and even some poetry. My favorite though was Catcher in the Rye. I wasn't a big fan of Holden (a little too whiny for my taste) but I was infatuated with Salinger's writing style. Franny and Zooey was easily in my top ten books list.

I had already covered the material they were discussing today in an AP class last year, but I was grateful for the break. Class was over all too soon.

After the bell rang a guy with longish black hair and almond shaped eyes came up to me.

"You must be Isabella." Wow, news does travel fast here.

"Just Bella is fine." Shit, was that rude? I don't want to be that asshole from Phoenix.

Thankfully, the boy took it in stride. "Oh, okay got it. Bella.", He smiled at me, "I'm Eric by the way. How you liking the rain?

"Getting used to it."

"Girl, just wait. It'll only get worse."

"Don't remind me." I said, adding a groan for effect.

He smiled again, "Where are you headed?"

I consulted my schedule, "Government with Miller."

"Me too! I'll walk you."

He was pretty chatty, talking to me through the walk and only stopping when I had to sit down. I was grateful he was so nice, but I had to admit I was a little glad to be sitting on the other side of the room. I just wasn't much of a talker.

My next two classes passed quickly. The girl I was sitting next to in Trig had made small talk with me and after class asked me if I wanted to eat lunch with her and her friends. I gratefully accepted, not wanting to sit alone on my first day.

Her name was Jessica as I found out on the walk to lunch. She had caramel colored skin and natural hair. She was on the student council and they were having a budget crisis over the upcoming school dance.

"I mean, what are we supposed to do with $200? Buy two balloons and some soda?"

I said something sympathetic and she kept on, "I mean, really. But I have to think of something. This has to be phenomenal or I'll never get elected class president next year." By then we had arrived at the cafeteria, and Jessica got me up to speed on the drama in the student council (apparently the treasurer was hooking up with the president and the budget was a wreck).

She brought me over to a table with a few people I recognized. Eric, from first period. A girl whose name I think was Angela who was in my second period and a few other semi-familiar faces.

They started into a heated debate about whether or not the math teacher was pregnant "But she drinks decaf now!" Jess practically yelled, and I happily blended into the background for a while.

"So, Bella, where are you from?" A blonde boy who had introduced himself as Mike asked me.

"Phoenix, I said quickly. "In Arizona.

"But you're so-"

"Tan?" I suggested with a smile.

Just then the cafeteria doors burst open and five people walked in who looked more like they belonged on the set of some CW drama than this tiny high school. Every last one of them was drop dead gorgeous, the two girls and the three boys.

"Who are they?" I couldn't help but ask.

Jess was happy to fill me in, "Those are the Cullens. There's Alice, the little one. Emmet is the big guy with dark hair. The two blondes are Rosalie and Jasper Hale."

Again. I couldn't stop my next question,"Who's the redhead?"

"That's Edward." I decided that of the five, he was the most supernaturally beautiful. He had reddish brown hair that was expertly tousled and his pale face was stunningly handsome. Plus, he was filling out his henley t-shirt really, really well.

Realizing I might have been staring a second too long, I jumped back in with another question

"Have they always lived here?"

"No,"Jess answered before giving me a strange look and whispering, "Edward Cullen is staring at you," I couldn't hide my blush.

"Why is he doing that?"

Jess looked like she was as shocked as I was, "I honestly have no idea. They usually keep to themselves. I don't think I've ever seen Edward look at someone like that."

I was getting mildly uncomfortable, so I launched into more questions. "Are they related?"

"No, they're foster kids. Dr. and Mrs. Cullen adopted them a long time ago. I think the Hales are her sister's kids or something. When she died the Cullens took them in."

"That's an awfully generous thing to do."

Jess shrugged."Yeah, I guess. It's weird though, because they're all like, together."

"What do you mean?"

"Like, Rosalie and Emmett, Alice and Jasper. They're dating."

"Oh, wow."

"Yeah and they live together right? I wish I could get away with something like that."

She hadn't mentioned why they all looked like that. "Are they all like, models or something?"

"Yeah I know, right." She leaned in conspiratorially, " It has to be plastic surgery though, right? Like there is no way everyone in that family has a perfect nose, they aren't even really related."

The bell rang then, and I followed the quiet girl at the table, Angela, to biology.

-e-

Today, the school was abuzz with gossip. A new girl had arrived, the police chief's daughter, no less, and everyone had taken notice. She was featured in just about every mind I encountered, and emotions were mixed. Most of the people she had come into contact with had thought she was nice. A few people seemed to think she was more than nice, as demonstrated by some rather unappealing sexual fantasies flashing through Mike Newton's head. Poor girl.

She seemed nervous, in the interactions I had seen played out in other people's eyes. She was also gorgeous. Words like "pretty" and "hot" were floating around but they weren't enough. Human eyes might not be able to discern the extent of her perfection, but I certainly could. Her dark brown hair contrasted with her fair skin, almost pale enough to belong to one of my kind. She had a delicate silver hoop through her left nostril and a deep green flannel on, unbuttoned just far enough. Her eyes were large ringed with kohl. They were the same dark blue-grey as a storming sea. Goddamn, I gotta stop reading 19th century poetry before school. I tried to tune back into my brother Emmett's story, but it was a lost cause.

She was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen- vampires included. I suddenly realised that I wanted her. Wanted her like I hadn't wanted anyone in almost a hundred years. I couldn't help but watch her.

She seemed to be getting along with everyone at her table- their thoughts were all centered on her. Well, centered on the new girl anyway. I didn't think they had a very good idea of who she was.

But I didn't hear her mind. I figured it was just quieter than others- that happened time to time. Mental voices were just like people- extroverts practically screamed their thoughts at me, while quiet people were more like a whisper that had to be closely listened to. I looked at her, trying to focus in on her voice.

But it wasn't there. I listened to the people around her- Jessica, Eric and even shy Angela's thoughts were open to me. But not hers.

I focused harder, almost glaring at the girl. Nothing happened. What was she?

I was only broken out of my haze when I heard the familiar voice of Jessica Stanley, resident yearbook president and notorious school gossip, "Edward Cullen is staring at you!"

The girl looked away, a pink tinge rising to her cheeks. Jessica leaned in and gave her the scoop on my family- the official story, anyway. Since I couldn't hear her thoughts, I listened to the conversation, hoping to stumble across some clue as to why her mind was closed to me.

Jessica went through the normal bullshit- Carlisle had adopted Alice, Emmett and I after our parent's passing (which wasn't necessarily untrue) and together he and Esme had taken in Rose and Jasper from an unsavory home life, which again, wasn't necessarily untrue. Still, who believed that a young couple- my parents were both in their early twenties when they were turned, could adopt five, almost-grown children? Our kind's natural persuasiveness came in handy sometimes.

The bell rang, startling me. I hadn't been startled for a long time.

I threw my untouched lunch away and walked out the side door to biology. My sister Alice followed me, and I realized I hadn't been paying attention to her- or any of my four siblings for that matter, at lunch. Alice was smiling like she had fishhooks on either side of her mouth.

"What?" I tried to reach into her mind, but she was furiously reciting an Emily Dickinson poem in a successful attempt to keep me from seeing her thoughts.

"Alice, what is it? What did you see?"

"You'll find out soon enough." And with that, she scattered off in the direction of her next class. Sometimes I hated having a psychic in the family.

I took a seat in my usual spot, by the window. The view of the forest came in useful when Mr. Banner lectured on something I had learned twenty-times over. I had been to medical school, and I spent my days being lectured about how the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell and learning how to do punnett squares.

The rest of the class was filing in now. She walked in just as the bell rang. I still couldn't hear her.

As she made her way across the classroom to the teacher's desk, she walked in front of the fan buzzing in the corner. My world went red. I couldn't think, couldn't breathe. The focus of my whole existence was this girl. It was as if everything in the world had snapped into place and she was the center of it.

A minute or so passed and my head wouldn't clear. She walked in my direction to the only open seat in the classroom- right next to me.

I was staring. Fuck, what was this?

She was looking mildly concerned, but I just couldn't look away.

"Hey."

I was at a loss for words. Here I was, looking at my reason for existence. My almost a century spent on this planet had been nothing but waiting for this moment.

"I'm Bella Swan," she continued.

"I know." She looked somewhat taken aback. Fuck, Cullen, get a hold of yourself.

"I mean, I've heard people saying- new student… you know?" Was I speaking English at this point? "Edward!"

"Sorry?"

"My name. It's Edward."

"I know," She threw a coy smile my way and I thought I might die right there.

I spent the next forty-two minutes acutely aware of Bella. I could feel a buzz of electricity coming off of her skin, and I wanted so badly to take her hand under the table. And then from there, my hand would graze her thigh and I would- The bell rang.

She got up slowly, gathering her books together.

"See you later, Edward."

I sputtered out what I hope sounded like a "Yeah," but I was too lost to know for sure.

I watched her leave, and after she had left the room I finally let myself exhale.

This was it. I had finally met my mate.