This takes place immediately following the season 6 finale. It's sort of a reworking of my other story, Escape from Within, to make it sync up with the finale. This part is completely new, and later chapters may borrow some lines from the other fic. I wrote this to try to keep Jack/Audrey fans, myself included, from getting too discouraged. As I said in my other post, they left the door at least slightly open, and we have until January to make the story go any way we want. So don't lose your creative muses! Reviews appreciated, as always.
Heller sits there for a minute just staring at his daughter, unsure of what to do. He can't stand the thought of letting his daughter get reattached to Jack only to lose him again. But at the same time, he doesn't know how much she remembers, and he can't stand the thought of her waking up and asking for Jack and having to tell her that Jack is gone forever. He knows if he lets Jack go now they may never be able to find him again. He stands there and contemplates for a few moments, then goes into Audrey's room and kisses her on the head.
"I'll be right back, Audie," he says gently, then walks outside. He is horrified when he sees Jack on the other side of the fence, way too close to the ocean for his comfort. He opens his mouth to yell but stops himself, not wanting to startle Jack and make him lose his balance. Instead, he cautiously approaches.
"Jack, what the hell are you doing?" he asks as he gets close.
"Mr. Secretary, step away. I don't want to shoot you but I will."
"No you won't, Jack. You can threaten me all you want, but the bottom line is, you love my daughter too much to take me away from her. So why don't you cut the BS and try to think rationally for a second?"
Jack doesn't respond.
"Come on, Jack, just come back on the other side of this fence and we'll talk."
"About what? How I ruined Audrey's life? Believe me, there's nothing you can tell me that I don't already know." Jack's tone then changes from defiance to the verge of tears. "And I wish I had never come into her life as much as you do sir...I'd give anything to take away all of the pain I've caused her, but I can't."
"Jack..."
"Mr. Secretary, spare me the bullshit. I know you feel the same way so don't try to argue with me."
"I won't, Jack, but I think Audrey would. As much pain as she's been through, I don't think she'd take back a minute of the time the two of you spent together. I didn't know about your relationship at the time...you and Audrey made sure of that. But looking back, I can't remember a time I'd ever seen her so happy since before her mother died."
"As much as I'd like to go back to those days, you were right before when you said I can't. And maybe I should try to move on and start over but I can't...I don't want to...I don't have the heart. When I was in China, thinking about Audrey was the only thing that got me through it...the hope, as faint as it was, that we'd be together again was the only thing that gave me the strength to face each day. Without her, I don't have anything left, and I just can't do this anymore. So please, just back away and let me go," Jack pleads.
"I can't do that, Jack."
"Why not, sir? You said it yourself...Audrey would be better off without me. This way you won't have to worry about me coming around anymore and putting her in danger."
"Because I can't stand the thought of her waking up and asking for you and having to tell her that you're gone for good...especially if I have to tell her it was by choice. She would never forgive me if I let you do this. And I know you don't owe me anything, but I don't think you want her to have to hear that anymore than I do."
Jack pauses, contemplating for a moment. Heller continues, "I heard you say that you hope one day she'll forgive you for your decision, and I think she would forgive you, if she ever becomes cognizant enough to understand. But I know that if you jump off that cliff, even if she does forgive you, she'll never forgive herself. It doesn't matter that she's drugged up with a heavy duty sedative and doesn't have a clue what's going on right now. If you jump, for the rest of her life, she's going to blame herself for not stopping you. Come on, Jack. Don't leave her with that kind of a burden."
There is a pause for a minute as Jack mulls everything over. "Come on, Jack. I'll help you back over the fence." Heller extends an arm for Jack to lean on.
"And then what?"
"And then we'll figure it out. As much as I would like to keep Audrey safe and prevent her from getting hurt, g-d willing it's not going to be my decision forever. And I need to know that if she wakes up asking for you I'll be able to find you."
"With all due respect, sir, you can't have your cake and eat it too. If you want me out of your daughter's life I'll go, but you can't just retract that decision down the road. I can't keep promising her I'm going to be there and then having to walk away."
"You're right, Jack, that's not fair. I tell you what. It's been a long day and I don't think either of us is thinking rationally at this point. You've been awake for g-d knows how many hours, and I've been so emotional since I found out she was alive that I don't think I'm thinking clearly either. Why don't you sleep on it and give me some time to think and tomorrow morning we'll sit down and talk and decide together what we think is best for her? If we decide that you should walk away, then I'll let you go and whatever you decide to do is up to you. And if we decide you should be around, then we'll figure out a way to make it work. For Audrey's sake, will you agree to that much?"
Jack sits there for a moment, then nods slowly, fighting back tears. "Yes, sir," he says softly.
"Thank you, Jack," Heller says sincerely. He extends an arm for Jack to latch onto, helping him climb over the gate. "You did the right thing." He squeezes Jack's shoulder reassuringly.
"Come on, let's go inside." Jack looks at him questioningly. "Old friends of ours were nice enough to lend us their summer home until she's ready to travel back to Washington, and there's plenty of room here. I'm staying in the room across from where Audrey is so I can hear if she wakes up. You can stay in the master bedroom down the hall."
"I can go to a hotel, sir," Jack responds.
"At this hour? Come on, with the state you're in, I'd feel more comfortable if just stayed here. The sedative they gave Audrey when we left CTU should last for quite a while, so you don't have to worry about her waking up and getting confused, although if you do decide to walk away I think you owe her the courtesy of explaining it to her when she's awake."
Jack hesitates.
"Come on, Jack, it's alright. Just come inside and get some sleep."
Too tired and emotionally drained to argue, Jack nods and hesitantly follows Heller into the house. He pauses when they pass by Audrey's bedroom and looks in at her, his eyes filling with tears.
"Why don't you go give her a kiss goodnight?" Heller suggests.
Jack hesitates.
"She's so drugged right now, I doubt she'll even remember," her father encourages. Jack nods and tiptoes into the room, planting a soft kiss on Audrey's forehead.
"No matter what happens, I want you to know how much I love you," he whispers. Audrey doesn't respond. Jack didn't expect her to, but all he wants is some kind of a sign from her that she needs him, and he knows it will give him the courage to stay by her side no matter what her father wants. He stares at Audrey for another few moments with tears in his eyes, then leaves the room and follows Heller down the hall.
He enters his room, and Heller shows him where the bathroom is and retrieves some blankets from the closet.
"If you want anything to eat, just help yourself to anything in the kitchen," Heller tells him. Jack nods.
"Thank you, sir," Jack says, and they both know he is saying thank you for more than just a place to sleep for the night.
Heller nods and pats Jack on the shoulder. "It'll be alright, son," Heller says gently. "One way or another, we'll all get through this."
"Yeah," Jack says softly, somehow feeling a tiny shred of hope in spite of everything. No matter how hard and painful his life is at the moment, Jack is beginning to believe that he'll get through it somehow. And despite how hopeless she seemed, Jack believes that somehow Audrey will pull through too.