Title: Bed of Lies
Author: Actrez
Disclaimer: I don't own them, please don't sue. The lyrics are Matchbox 20- Bed of Lies
Rating: PG
Category: Angst
Summary: What was Jack reaction when he found out about Laura being KGB?
Author's note: I don't usually put lyrics with my stories but I thought these just fit the situation so well that I had to, let me know what you think of it. Also if you have the MP3 or CD I suggest listening to the song while you read this. Also if you are waiting for the sequel to Innocence Lost I promise they'll will be won, I'm working on it now but I have exams coming up and I've been sick so it might take a little while.
Feedback: Please!
Jack Bristow walked into his house, his mind still spinning. Devlin had called him in for a meeting earlier that night. . .
***Flashback***
"Jack, have a seat," Devlin said when he walked in, "As you know, ever since we found out about Boyce and Lee the FBI has been investigating some of our agents." Jack nodded and he continued, "Until recently you were one of those agents that were being investigated."
Rage began to boil in Jack's blood at the idea that after all his time with the CIA they would suspect him of being a double for the KGB. He managed to keep his face clear of any emotion and let Devlin continue.
"The reason I'm telling you this is because you have been cleared of any involvement with the KGB," he paused before continuing, "Unfortunately, while the FBI was investigating you they did find another KGB agent."
"Who?"
There was a short pause before Devlin said, "Laura. I'm sorry Jack."
"Are you sure?" Jack asked, somehow managing to keep the shock off his face. Devlin didn't answer, he didn't need to, Jack knew he wouldn't tell him unless they were completely positive.
***End flashback***
[No I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And they'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning
I am]
He quietly walked into Sydney's room and kneeled down next to her, brushing back her hair. How would he ever explain this to her? He watched her sleep for a few minutes, she looked so much like her mother.
[I don't think that I could take another empty moment
I don't think that I could fake another hollow smile
Well it's not enough just to be sorry
I don't think that I could take another talk about it]
He stood and quietly left, slowly making his way to his bedroom. Laura was asleep, she had fallen asleep watching TV. He clicked off the television, hoping she wouldn't wake up. Should he tell her that he knew? Or just act like everything was normal?
[Just like me you've got needs
And they're only a whisper away
And we softly surrender
To these lives that we've tendered away]
Laura and he had known each other for years, how could he have never noticed? Never suspected. Shouldn't there have been some sort of indication, some sort of clue that his years of agent training would have made him pick up on?
[But I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And they'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning
I'm marking it down to learning
'Cause I can]
The doubt slowly began to seep into his mind. Had she ever really loved him? Had their whole marriage been a cover? Some sort of act? He hated the idea that everything over the past twelve years had all been some sort of cover for her. But what he hated even more was the idea that *Sydney* was part of it. The idea that Laura had merely had Sydney to keep up her act sickened him. Sydney looked up to her mother, she idolized her, as every little girl did, what would she do when she found out that her mother hadn't been who she thought she was?
[Don't wanna be the one who turns the whole thing over
Don't wanna be somewhere where I just don't belong
Where it's not enough just to be sorry]
Maybe she hadn't realized who she was working for. Maybe it was one of those cases where they gave her orders when she was in a hypnotic state and afterwards she didn't remember them. Maybe. . .but he knew that that was not the case. Laura had realized what she was doing when she killed those CIA agents. People that Jack knew, that he had considered friends.
[Don't you know I feel the darkness closing in
Tried to be more than me
And I gave until it all went away
And we've only surrendered
To the worst part of these winters that we've made]
He watched her sleep and somehow, he still found her beautiful. He swallowed hard, he still loved her. How could he still love her, knowing what she'd done? She had killed over a dozen CIA agents, leaving children without parents, men and women without spouses, yet he still loved her.
[But I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And they'll be no rest for these tried eyes
I'm marking it down to learning
I'm marking it down to learning
I am all that I'll ever be
When you lay your hands over me
And don't go weak on me please
I know that it's weak
But God help me I need this]
He walked out of the room, grabbing a pillow and blanket from the hall closet. He'd sleep on the couch tonight and when she asked tomorrow he'd tell her he hadn't wanted to wake her. And things would appear normal, he wouldn't confront her about what he knew-he didn't want to hear her excuses. Until the CIA charged her he would continue as though nothing had changed, for Sydney's sake. And because part of him wanted to hold onto what their lives had been, to what they had had, for as long as he could.
[I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And they'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning
I'm marking it down to learning
'Cause I can]
The End
Author: Actrez
Disclaimer: I don't own them, please don't sue. The lyrics are Matchbox 20- Bed of Lies
Rating: PG
Category: Angst
Summary: What was Jack reaction when he found out about Laura being KGB?
Author's note: I don't usually put lyrics with my stories but I thought these just fit the situation so well that I had to, let me know what you think of it. Also if you have the MP3 or CD I suggest listening to the song while you read this. Also if you are waiting for the sequel to Innocence Lost I promise they'll will be won, I'm working on it now but I have exams coming up and I've been sick so it might take a little while.
Feedback: Please!
Jack Bristow walked into his house, his mind still spinning. Devlin had called him in for a meeting earlier that night. . .
***Flashback***
"Jack, have a seat," Devlin said when he walked in, "As you know, ever since we found out about Boyce and Lee the FBI has been investigating some of our agents." Jack nodded and he continued, "Until recently you were one of those agents that were being investigated."
Rage began to boil in Jack's blood at the idea that after all his time with the CIA they would suspect him of being a double for the KGB. He managed to keep his face clear of any emotion and let Devlin continue.
"The reason I'm telling you this is because you have been cleared of any involvement with the KGB," he paused before continuing, "Unfortunately, while the FBI was investigating you they did find another KGB agent."
"Who?"
There was a short pause before Devlin said, "Laura. I'm sorry Jack."
"Are you sure?" Jack asked, somehow managing to keep the shock off his face. Devlin didn't answer, he didn't need to, Jack knew he wouldn't tell him unless they were completely positive.
***End flashback***
[No I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And they'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning
I am]
He quietly walked into Sydney's room and kneeled down next to her, brushing back her hair. How would he ever explain this to her? He watched her sleep for a few minutes, she looked so much like her mother.
[I don't think that I could take another empty moment
I don't think that I could fake another hollow smile
Well it's not enough just to be sorry
I don't think that I could take another talk about it]
He stood and quietly left, slowly making his way to his bedroom. Laura was asleep, she had fallen asleep watching TV. He clicked off the television, hoping she wouldn't wake up. Should he tell her that he knew? Or just act like everything was normal?
[Just like me you've got needs
And they're only a whisper away
And we softly surrender
To these lives that we've tendered away]
Laura and he had known each other for years, how could he have never noticed? Never suspected. Shouldn't there have been some sort of indication, some sort of clue that his years of agent training would have made him pick up on?
[But I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And they'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning
I'm marking it down to learning
'Cause I can]
The doubt slowly began to seep into his mind. Had she ever really loved him? Had their whole marriage been a cover? Some sort of act? He hated the idea that everything over the past twelve years had all been some sort of cover for her. But what he hated even more was the idea that *Sydney* was part of it. The idea that Laura had merely had Sydney to keep up her act sickened him. Sydney looked up to her mother, she idolized her, as every little girl did, what would she do when she found out that her mother hadn't been who she thought she was?
[Don't wanna be the one who turns the whole thing over
Don't wanna be somewhere where I just don't belong
Where it's not enough just to be sorry]
Maybe she hadn't realized who she was working for. Maybe it was one of those cases where they gave her orders when she was in a hypnotic state and afterwards she didn't remember them. Maybe. . .but he knew that that was not the case. Laura had realized what she was doing when she killed those CIA agents. People that Jack knew, that he had considered friends.
[Don't you know I feel the darkness closing in
Tried to be more than me
And I gave until it all went away
And we've only surrendered
To the worst part of these winters that we've made]
He watched her sleep and somehow, he still found her beautiful. He swallowed hard, he still loved her. How could he still love her, knowing what she'd done? She had killed over a dozen CIA agents, leaving children without parents, men and women without spouses, yet he still loved her.
[But I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And they'll be no rest for these tried eyes
I'm marking it down to learning
I'm marking it down to learning
I am all that I'll ever be
When you lay your hands over me
And don't go weak on me please
I know that it's weak
But God help me I need this]
He walked out of the room, grabbing a pillow and blanket from the hall closet. He'd sleep on the couch tonight and when she asked tomorrow he'd tell her he hadn't wanted to wake her. And things would appear normal, he wouldn't confront her about what he knew-he didn't want to hear her excuses. Until the CIA charged her he would continue as though nothing had changed, for Sydney's sake. And because part of him wanted to hold onto what their lives had been, to what they had had, for as long as he could.
[I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And they'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning
I'm marking it down to learning
'Cause I can]
The End