From some of the insane people who brought you.......
Well, nothing because this is our first one. ANYWAYZ, we proudly bring you......
(Sabie's Note: you know, THIS is why we're not allowed to have parties in
World History)
(Kirsten's Note: This is probably why we're not allowed to sit on the same
end of the room also.)
Lord of the Soda:
The Fellowship of the Soda
Sabie: *Mumbles, "I can't believe we have to say this.
How stupid are these readers?"* Oh, by the way, we don't own
Lord Of the Rings. Wish we did, but no. Read on!
One soda to rule them all
One soda to find them
One soda to bring them all
And in the vending machine to bind them.......
3 Sodas to the Elven-Kings, who drank them all and got high...
7 for the Dwarf-Lords, who punctured the cans and wasted the soda.....
9 for the Mortal Men, who threw the soda at each other's heads......
One soda for the Dark Lord, sitting on his pizza-box couch.
So the Dark Lord, Salmon, sat with his dark soda in one hand and his other rubbing his humungous beer gut, which was hanging out of his dirty, sweaty tank top.
He wobbled to the fridge and saw that he had ran out of soda. So he decided that he would steal everyone else's soda and make his beer gut grow!!!
But then Isadork cut off his beer gut so Mr. Dark Lord himself, Salmon, vanished, and Isadork took the soda and kept it to himself.
(S/N: that greedy jerk)
Then some Raiths found him and threw Isadork and the soda into the river, and well, Isadork is dead.
A few thousand years later, a Hobbit-like creature thing named Smuggled found the soda, and kept it for himself. He was banished from his village because everyone else drank Gatorade, and everyone was so embarrassed that they called him Gottem, which no one knows why.
For 500 years it wasted his life. But then the soda grew tired of the cave, the smell of rotting fish, and Gottem, so it abandoned Gottem and fell into the hands of another Hobbit named Killblow
(Sabra's Note: geez, does it like hobbits much?)
(Kirsten's Note: He's only a hobbit-like creature thing.)
Maggins. Killblow then took it with him.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
60 years passed and it is now the year of Killblow's 111th birthday. There you see Killblow's nephew, Crowdo Maggins, reading a book.
It's 10 days later and Crowdo is still waiting for his company, Mr. Randolf Feeny.
"You're late, Randolf," Crowdo said.
"A wizard is never late, Crowdo Maggins; he arrives precisely when he means to,"
*Some female activist comes and shouts, " HEY!!! WHAT ABOUT WOMEN?! DON'T WE GET RIGHTS TOO????"*
"Fine fine... he OR SHE arrives precisely when he OR SHE means to," Randolf replied.
Crowdo wasn't that satisfied with that answer. "YOU MADE ME SIT AND WAIT BY THAT TREE AND NOW I HAVE POISON OAK ON MY BUTT!!!!!!" he screams.
"Well, you shouldn't have sat there for 10 days strait."
"YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE HERE 10 DAYS AGO!!!!!!"
"Grrrrrrr. I'm going to go visit your uncle. Maybe HE'S more appriciatable than you are."
"FINE! GO SEE THAT CRAZY OLD FART! ALL HE DOES IS EAT!!!!!"
So Randolf took his fancy-shmancy wagon over to Killblow's house. He walked inside and was shocked at what he saw.
"Hi, Killblow," Randolf said.
"I'm not Killblow any more. I am.." Killblow stops for a moment to think of a name, "I'm JABBA THE HOBBIT-HOLE!!!!!!! NOW GIVE ME CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
(K/N: Sorry, inside joke)
"Cheese? Why do you want cheese? What happened to 'Fruit and Veggies are all you need to stay alive'?"
"I don't know, I just want CHEESE! It's............. my prrrecioussssssssssss."
"I knew that I shouldn't have given you some of my Pipe-Weed."
"But it's good weed!"
"I don't care! The cheese is not your precious! And STOP SMOKING WEED! YOU'RE SETTING A BAD EXAMPLE FOR CROWDO!"
"Fine! But can I smoke one for my 111th birthday?"
"DANG, you're old!"
"Shutup. You're not brand-spanking-new either."
"Whatever. I'm leaving. Bye, Killblow!"
"IT'S JABBA THE HOBBIT-HOLE!!!"
"Ok. JABBA!"
"That's better." Killblow had a satisfied look on his face.
"Bye JABBA!" Feeny leaves the house.
"DON'T FORGET THE CHEESE!!!!" Killblow shouts out the door.
Randolf mumbles as he walks to his wagon, "Stupid crazy Maggins, all of them are crazy."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Well, despite his whining and muttering things we're not allowed to write here, Randolf actually went to the party. I mean, who can resist free food?? Anyways, Crowdo is dancing like a drunken fool in the middle of the crowd, with all the other drunk fools. Did we mention that Crowdo is the only one who is sober? Very sad, we know.
Crowdo looks at his friend, Spam Hamgee, and throws poor Spam into the ladies restroom. All the girls shrieked and said, "Why the heck are you here?? Now if you were Orlando Bloom, that's different. But you're just a STUPID FAT HOBBIT!!!!!"
Spam got mad and threw Crowdo in. But a few minutes later, Crowdo emerges from the ladies restroom with lipstick marks of all colors on his face and ripped clothing. Spam gets even more ticked and goes home, and he knows that Crowdo will never leave the party now. Now Killblow
*Killblow yells "IT'S JABBA THE HOBBIT HOLE!!!"*
Whatever.
Now JABBA
*Killblow says "Thank you!"*
finds Crowdo
(Sabie's Note *whispers*: remind me to kill Killblow later...)
and drags him to a corner.
"It's our cousins. HIDE!" Killblow said.
"Oh no. Not the cousins," Crowdo said sarcastically. Crowdo just walks off.
"CROWDO!! COME BACK BEFORE THEY- oh hi, my sweet, darling cousins!" Killblow said.
His cousins looked at him and left. You can hear one say "Geez, he's more insane than before."
The other on says, "You mean more than the whole 'King of the World' thing?"
"More."
FLASHBACK!!!!
Spam and Crowdo are attending their gardens. Crowdo's is dark, black, and well, dead. Spam's is bright, things are growing, birds chirping, and a beam of light shines on it. All of a sudden, they hear something climbing on the roof.
"Oh, no. What's Psycho Killblow gonna do now?" they both cry.
It's Killblow, in his PJs, and he stands up on his roof and yells "HEY EVERYONE!!!!!!! GUESS WHAT?????? I'M KING OF THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!"
"3, 2,1," Crowdo mutters to Spam. Killblow falls off the roof. Crowdo and Spam shrug at each other and continue to tend their gardens.
END FLASHBACK!!!!
(S/N: wow! That was fun!)
Killblow then stumbles onto a box and starts to deliver a speech. But then they hear a loud bang from one of the tents. When the smoke clears, two young hobbits, Sally and Pig Pen, emerge from the big gaping hole in the ground.
(K/N: YAY!!!! ANOTHER FLASHBACK!!!!)
(S/N: no, stupid, just a vision from their point of view)
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED..........
Sally walks up to a tent and punches it. Pig Pen crawls out and slaps Sally.
"DUDE!!!! I WAS ABOUT TO BEAT THE ULTIMENT LEVEL OF DOOM AND YOU RUIND IT!!!!!" Pig Pen yelled at Sally. If you look into the tent, you can see a big screen television with the screen flashing 'GAME OVER… YOU SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUK!!!!'
(K/N: Yes, Sally is a guy. His mom was looped up on the pipeweed. Sorry, Merry and Pippin lovers! Yes, I love them too. RYMING IS SO HARD!!!!!!!! )
"So? We are supposed to blow something up!" Sally then picks up a very angry Pig Pen and throws him into Randolf's cart chock-full of explosives.
Pig Pen lands in the cart with a small Thud. He picks up a regular explosive. "Here! Can I go now?"
"No, no, no! The BIG ONE!!!!" Sally pointed to the big fat firework wrapped in cloth with a tag reading, "DON'T TOUCH! ESPECIALLY YOU, SALLY AND PIG PEN!!!"
"Oh well, guess we can't use that one." Pig Pen told Sally with a gleam of hope in his eyes and a roll of quarters in his pocket.
"Nahhhh..... Randalf is just joking with us! Of course we can fire it!" Sally replied. "Just grab it and give it to me!"
"I don't know, Sally........" Pig Pen grabs the explosive slowly and hands it to Sally. Sally grabs it with a quick pull.
A LITTLE WHILE LATER.......
Sally and Pig Pen are in another tent, standing around the firework that has been placed into the ground. Sally lights the firework.
"Good, now put it in the ground." Sally commanded Pig Pen.
"It IS in the ground!" Pig Pen replied, "Now lets go put it back in the cart till Randolf claims it. You HAVEN'T lit it, have you?"
"Yup! We're ahead of schedule. Aren't you proud of me?"
"I hate you." Then the firework exploded.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sally and Pig Pen looked up to see a very very angry Randolf standing in front of them.
"Ummm, hi Mr. Randolf, sir," Pig Pen said. Randolf just glared at him.
"Sallywhatever Boatdock and Penguin Nook. I should have known," Randolf said. He grabbed the two by the ears and dragged them into the kitchen.
"You both have to wash and put away these dishes with no allowance until the end of the party. The party ends in 5 hours. Also, because I had assumed that you would do something like this, I made everyone here eat their 1sts, 2nds, and more on separate plates. Have fun!" Randolf said as he left.
"Did I mention that I absolutely HATE you?" Pig Pen said to Sally as the started the dishwashing.
(K/N: HI AGAIN!!! Did you like it? Sad to say, but this is a rewrite. A part of this chapter hinted at a PG-13 rating, so I made Pig Pen a huge video game freak… JUST LIKE ME!!!!! YAY!!! Anyways, please review! Reviews feed my characters, and they haven't eaten in a couple of months…)