Synopsis: Being apart from Sasuke is tough but Sakura is tougher, although she hasn't always been this way. [Written for Fanofthisfiction's SasuSaku Show Me the Love One Shot Challenge]
The Traveler's Wife
The first time Sakura laid eyes on her newborn baby, she felt overwhelming love and joy that her heart could barely contain.
"Congratulations! It's a baby girl." Karin exclaimed as she placed the baby on top of Sakura's belly before she carefully cut the umbilical cord.
The high-pitched wailing of her baby filled the room. Her first motherly instinct was to reach out and try to sooth her baby so that the wailing would stop. And it did, miraculously, as soon as she caressed the baby's pink and slimy skin.
For a moment, it felt like it was just her and her baby in the room. Everything and everyone else was momentarily forgotten, including Sasuke, who had steadfastly held her hands throughout the labour. A light pinch on the back of her hand let her know that he was there as she basked in the precious moment.
"Sarada…" Sakura called gently. As if she heard her name being called, Sarada fluttered her eyes open for the first time. Her onyx eyes were just as intense as her father's.
"She's beautiful." Sasuke murmured as he leaned down and pressed a kiss on Sakura's forehead.
"Yes, she is."
Sakura now has someone whom she loved more than herself or anyone else in the world.
There was nothing she wouldn't do for her baby.
After three weeks of staying by his family's side, Sasuke had to leave again, on an urgent mission. Sakura tried her best to fight back the urge to cry. She did not want to hold him back from what he needed to do.
As if reading her mind, Sasuke poked her forehead.
"I will be back as soon as I can," he promised. "When I'm back, we will start moving back to Konoha village with Sarada."
"Sounds like a plan."
She managed to smile at last.
Sakura didn't have much appetite these days. She forced herself to eat to produce enough breast milk for the baby. Otherwise, she wouldn't touch food at all. Her insomnia was getting worse and she felt tired all the time. Every day it was the same mundane routine of looking after her baby without much else to do or look forward to except waiting for the day to pass. Then came the next morning and everything started all over again.
The days were long without Sasuke. But the nights were longer still.
Sarada kept waking up in the middle of the night and crying for hours for no apparent reason. Nothing seemed to work. Milk, toys, nursery rhymes… all Sakura could do was to carry Sarada until the little one tired herself back to sleep. Karin tried to help but Sarada cried even louder when she tried to carry her.
Sakura was worried sick about what was wrong with the baby, although Karin and everyone assured her that there was nothing wrong with Sarada and that Sarada would outgrow this phrase eventually.
On some nights, Sakura cried along with the baby helplessly.
There was one particular night that Sakura had it really bad. She was all alone with Sarada and Sarada just wouldn't stop crying. Her eyes darted towards the pillow on the bed briefly and she wondered how long she could press down the pillow on Sarada's face to muffle her cry before she started to suffocate. Afterwards, the guilt of harbouring such a horrible thought and being such a horrible mother plagued her ever since.
Thankfully, Sarada did outgrow this temporary phrase like they said she would and she was able to sleep through the night till morning. Still, Sakura often thought she heard Sarada cried in her sleep and she would woke up in the middle of the night to check on Sarada several times.
Sasuke had been away for three months and Sakura had been counting the days since he was away. Every day she wished Sasuke would come back to them. Yet, every day she was disappointed. She missed him and she missed home badly. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if she was in Konoha village, surrounded by friends and family.
So when she read his most recent letter, in which he informed her that he still needed a little more time to wrap up things before he could come home, she couldn't contain her anger and disappointment.
A little more time.
It sounded a lot like an excuse to her.
You fucking liar!
Sakura smashed her fist into the mirror and proceeded to scream like a hysterical woman in the bathroom. She picked up a piece of the broken mirror and stared at it for the longest time. She could end it right here, right now, and make him regret his decision for the rest of his life. Being a proficient medic, she knew just where and how to cut, in order to bleed out the fastest. Sarada was crying in the next room due to the commotion but Sakura paid her no attention.
A moment later, Karin barged into the bathroom, holding Sarada with one hand.
"What the hell do you think you are doing, Sakura?" Karin yelled. She was beyond furious. "If I had known you would be this weak and stupid, I would've never given up Sasuke to you!"
Sakura collapsed to the floor and burst into tears uncontrollably. She hated this feeling of being weak and powerless. It reminded her of that time when Sasuke left the village and abandoned her on the cold stone bench.
Deep down, Sakura knew something was terribly wrong with her. She needed help and she needed him. Right now. It couldn't wait.
Sasuke was back on the third night after the message (asking him to come home or else…) was sent to him.
When Sakura turned to look at him, he almost couldn't recognize her. Her once brilliant emerald eyes had become dull like glass. Her pink hair was matted, and it was obvious she couldn't care less how she looked at the moment.
Words couldn't convey how shocked and concerned he was when he saw how miserable his wife has become. Sakura was one of the strongest women he had known in his life. To see her succumb to depression this way was disheartening, and he knew he was partly to be blamed for not being by her side when she needed him most.
Sasuke let Sakura freely scream, kick and do whatever suited her best to release the pent-up emotions within her. Not once did he dodge her attack or let go of her. Nor did he ask any questions.
When Sakura has finally calmed down enough to listen to him, Sasuke said to her quietly, "I'm here now."
It was all that mattered.
The Uchiha couple began travelling again. Just the two of them.
Sarada was left in the good hands of Karin. It was hard for Sasuke to leave again after missing out so much on Sarada's first few months. But he knew Sakura needed it – to break away from everything and to find her sense of old self again.
They stayed at an onsen for a few days before moving on to other places. It was calm and relaxing to do nothing but to enjoy each other's company for a change. They played chess occasionally to pass time but Sakura didn't like the fact that Sasuke was better at it very much. She preferred to spar with him. It was much more satisfying when she managed to land a blow or two. It reminded her of the strong kunoichi she still was.
After the sparring session ended, they took a dip at the hot spring together. Sakura noticed a few fresh scars on Sasuke's back that weren't there before he left for the mission. When she asked him about it, he merely shrugged nonchalantly.
"It's nothing to be worried about." He assured her. To take her mind off from the subject, he began kissing her passionately. His plan worked perfectly because one thing led to another. Before long, they were both intoxicated by each other's body.
Tears flowed down to Sakura's cheeks as Sasuke entered her. It made Sasuke panicked for a moment.
"Shit! Did I hurt you? Do you want me to stop?"
"No, it's just… I just realized how much I've missed you. Now I've completely ruined the mood." Sakura sobbed.
"Don't worry. We have all the time in the world."
Sasuke held Sakura the entire night even after she has fallen asleep. A numb limb was a small price to pay if it could console the woman he loved most.
They travelled for a month before they reunited with Sarada. They revisited some of their favourite places and explored some new places as well. Sakura still hadn't fully recovered from her depression, but she was definitely feeling better after the trip. She still had mood swings and all, but she no longer thought about harming herself or the baby.
Once they have settled down, they began to pack their things and make plans to move back to Konoha village just as he promised.
"Argh, I hate packing! Why are there so much things to pack?" Sakura grunted.
"We don't need to pack everything. Just pack enough for what we really need and leave the rest here. We can always come back for it later."
Sakura knew he was probably right. But even so, Sakura knew Sasuke would never leave things untidy. It was something that the neat freak in him wouldn't tolerate.
"You know what will feel most satisfying right now?"
"What?" Sasuke asked without paying her much attention as he was busy packing his stuff.
"Punch the ceiling until it collapses and buy everything new."
Sasuke shot her a glare. "Very funny."
To which Sakura laughed. It felt good to be able to poke fun at him. She had a sneaking suspicion that Sasuke was smirking as he turned his back to continue packing.
Just like this, little by little, the Sakura whom he loved came back to him.
They threw a big party to celebrate Sarada's one-year-old birthday at their new house in Konoha village. The birthday party was an enormous success. Everyone they loved and cared showed up.
Even the ever elusive Kakashi showed up near the end of the party.
"You're late, Kakashi sensei!" Sakura still felt childishly compelled to yell that at him every time the older man showed up late.
"Yep, yep. I have misplaced Sarada's birthday present and took some time to find it. Can't show up empty handed, can we?"
For once, Sakura found his excuse for being late to be acceptable.
"I'll let you off the hook just this once."
"Now where's the little princess?" Kakashi asked.
"Come with me. We're just about to blow the candles and cut the cake."
Everyone laughed when Sarada poked her chubby finger into the cake without waiting for it to be cut and served.
That night, as Sakura was watching Sarada's sleeping face, she realized that her dark days were finally over, she was certain of it now. And she told Sasuke so.
"I'm glad." Sasuke was truly relieved that she no longer suffered from it.
Sakura closed her sleepy eyes contently and slept soundly till the next morning.
Peace after the Fourth Great War was precarious.
Soon Sasuke was leaving again to gather intel on Kaguya and he was worried whether Sakura could handle it this time.
"Are you going to be okay when I'm away?" he asked.
Sakura looked him in the eyes and answered earnestly, "We've talked about this and I'll say it again. Yes, I'm most definitely going to be okay this time. I'm more worried about you than myself. Everyone is here with me. You are here with me, always."
She pointed a finger to where her heart was. She was no longer afraid of what separation might bring because she realized their time being together was more important than their time being apart.
"We will wait for you to come home. The only thing you need to worry about is to come home unharmed."
Sasuke nodded. "I will."
He poked her forehead affectionately and kissed Sarada on the cheek one last time. Then he was gone from their sight. Sakura stared at the empty space he left behind forlornly, but her gaze did not linger long. What broke her heart most was the way Sarada turned to look at her, as if asking her 'where did papa go?'.
Someday, she would explain this to Sarada when she was old enough to understand. For now, she held Sarada in her arms and told her, "Papa loves us and he will be back soon."
It is going to be different this time. Because I need to stay strong for Sarada too.
With this, Sakura shut the door behind her.
Days turned into months and months into years.
Sakura was so used to the absence of her husband that she no longer seemed bothered by the fact that he was away. She kept herself busy between her responsibility of being the Head of Konoha Hospital and raising Sarada on her own.
As the years passed, Sarada grew up and began to ask questions.
Curious.
"How was papa like?"
Confused.
"Why did papa leave?"
Concerned.
"Where is papa now?"
Conflicted.
"When will papa come back?"
Confrontational.
"Does he even know our existence?"
Sakura tried her best to console her daughter to no avail. Sarada was hurt by the prolonged absence of her father. If she was being honest to herself, deep down in her heart, Sakura was hurting too. No matter how skilled she was, she couldn't heal a wound which kept reopening. All she could do was to slow the bleeding until there was nothing left.
It was getting difficult for Sakura to hold on to the memories they had created over the years. The time they spent travelling together now seemed like it happened a lifetime ago. She kept the letters Sasuke sent them meticulously and she re-read them over and over again until she could memorize every word by heart.
Sarada was the bond that held them together, a constant reminder that their love was real. So Sakura depended on Sarada just as much as Sarada depended on her to keep going and hoping.
Until the day Sasuke finally returned to them for good.
And then one day, Sasuke finally did.
Sakura greeted him in the same way that she had always greeted him whenever he was home all these years - with love and warmth.
"Took you long enough, idiot."
She poked his forehead and smiled.
"I know…"
and I'm sorry.
"Welcome home."
No apologies needed.
Without another word, she closed the gap between them and hugged him.
He was home. And that was enough.
The End
A/N: Happy birthday, Sasuke. Thank every god in existence that Sakura loves you.
Thank you for reading and let me know what you think.
