A/N: This is the result of an odd plot bunny that appeared at 2 in the morning, so let me know what you think...it's chock full of angstiness, like usual.
Roy is a hypocrite.
He is a hypocrite in the worst way, and he really owes Hughes an apology. But right now he doesn't care because Riza is with him, and she is tearing at his clothes just as desperately as he is at hers. He knows he shouldn't be touching her with his blood stained hands, but she is soft and warm in the chill of the desert night, and her lips are burning a fire trail down his neck as he pulls off her shirt.
He is so sick of this godforsaken place, sick of the screams and the sand and the ashes, the damn ashes that never seem to wash off no matter how hard he tries. He is sick of walking this tightrope, afraid to let anyone near him, wondering if the next breath he takes will be the last. She is the one person whose touch he will allow, the one small respite he has.
He is 22 and it feels like the end of the world.
But even as he grips her hips, pulling her down to him, Roy can't avoid the regret that she's here too, dirtying her hands, that she gave him the tools he uses to commit murder. His mind is flurrying with thoughts that all begin and end with the sound of her panting in his ear, the soft whine that catches in her throat.
He runs his hands through her thick hair, gritty from sand, and kisses away the sweat in the dip of her collarbone. Her fingernails are biting into his shoulder and he sits up to pull her tighter against him. He tries to tell her that she's beautiful, or that he needs her, or something else equally trite and equally true. What comes out instead is I'm sorry, mumbled against the side of her neck.
Afterwards, Riza sits on the cot next to him, buttoning up her jacket. He looks up at her, and sees that all too familiar hollow look is back in her eyes, the same look that he knows is in his own. Like a mirror reflecting back on itself.
"I almost shot you." The whispered confession comes spilling from her cracked lips. She looks surprised, like she hadn't realized she had spoken.
"I almost shot you the day when I realized you were here, when I saw what you could do. I almost killed you." Roy shuts his eyes.
"You should have shot me."
She slips out of his tent silently then, like a ghost, like the good sniper that she is.
He can't help but wonder if he will end up in her crosshairs again. It would only be fitting.