Disclaimer - I do not own NCIS
Gibbs sighed as he picked up his coffee cup and took the last few drops into his mouth before silently cursing the end of his drink.
He looked across to his team of agents, and, with the gentle tugging of his heart of what might have been, thought how different his life would have been if his NCIS family were truly his own.
He moved his head and his eyes set on Ziva, instantly imagining her first steps. He saw the vision of teaching her to ride her bike, knowing how determined and independent she would be. His mind danced to her early teenage years, with his arms enveloping and protecting the young woman who was defiant and wilful, but strong and committed to fulfilling her potential, whatever the cost.
He turned his head to McGee and easily saw the younger child in him, plagued with childhood illnesses, needing constant reassurance, love and attention. He saw that bullied son of his, more unwilling than unable to stand up for himself and the image of drying frequent tears and comforting the way a father does. He viewed the contrasting image of the frowning young man eager to work things out, to know and to excel in everything that he did. He felt the pride a father has in a son who achieves great things.
Finally he settled on Tony and could not help turn the corner of his mouth up in a smile. His smile turned into a sigh at the heavy heart of a father cursing cheeky grins and constant questions and even more answers. He imagined the true son below that masked exterior when all was quiet and no one needed to know. He saw the Tony on the cusp of his teenage years, falling asleep on his shoulder and wanting to be like him. His heart held the image of his son who just wanted to be loved, to be cared for and to know despite everything else in the world, that he belonged.
Gibbs stood up and walked slowly towards the elevator with a frown,
"I'm going for coffee, McGee I want that hard drive cracked by the time I get back. Ziva, keep trying to track down that Petty Officer's address. DiNozzo, stop terrorising the team start acting like a Senior Field Agent and go find out if Abby has processed that evidence!"
With three resounding "On it boss" ringing in his ears he smiled as the elevator doors swished in front of him and thought to himself,
"God, I miss you Kelly."
THE END