One day, I went to the store in a little town, well, not so much little, more undiscovered. Really, it had the best food, university, concert halls, and stores in the whole country. I was there for a gallon of juice, a loaf of seven grain bread, well anyway, the simplest stuff. I felt a strange feeling in my stomach. Like, well, call me crazy, but this trip was going to be distinctive from all the other trips to the almost-out-of-business supermarket that I had known from front to back.
I shuffled into the store, slowly and silently, hoping to prevent strange men from dragging me away. I tried and tried to convince myself that the feeling I had in my stomach was just another hallucination. I was probably "somewhere else" because when I snapped out of it, I had in my hand a bottle of lube and a gallon of Jack Daniels. I heard a voice behind me. "Damn! I didn't know we got Amanda Bynes up in this B!" The voice was squeaky enough and was obviously trying to imitate the stereotypical black dude. Oh god, Was I hallucinating again, or were my You tube fantasies coming true? I turned around and saw Shane. yes, That Shane. "Yup. I ain't got no time to be talented. I gotta meet some taco bell employees and dogs to make a sex tape. Well, I don't need to meet anyone technically, I can just drink half a crate of bourbon, a bottle of red, and some chocotinis at 3 in the night, and wake up the next morning in a days inn with a dude named pavlo and a german sheperd named tutu." Shane chuckled. "I like your style, kid. How'd you like to star in my newest video? planning to make a parody of glee!" "Umm, Duh! Love it, Shane! When to start?" I ask. "Try to get to Krannert by 3, ok?" "Ok!" I run home quickly, not realizing that I was still holding the merchandise. I heard the alarm ring behind me. Oh well. I guess I'll have to run further.