To all the viewers and fans of Totally Spies above the age of 12:
You may know me from the show as Tim Scam, that archvillain who repeatedly duped WOOHP security by breaking out of prison multiple times (and being the only one to do so). If you do, you most likely also know about all the plans I supposedly made for attacking WOOHP – brainwashing, Scamlar, and turning Jerry evil, just to name a few.
The reason I use 'supposedly' is because none of this truly happened, except for the gadgets involved in my plans, which I designed myself. (On a related note, if you happen to be an academic or scientific professional with research interests in optical holography, lasers, signals, and materials science, shoot me a message and I'll be in touch.) Unlike the show, which verges on exciting and sometimes downright crazy, real life can be pretty mundane. Every morning, when I'm not out performing on the set, I don a blazer and tie and go to work as Timothy Scamanov, an executive at an engineering firm. Acting is nice, but when it comes down to it, it is nothing more than an escape from the boringness of reality. Some of the more observant fans have pointed out several places in which the show makes absolutely no sense, or otherwise completely violates the laws of physics, and that is because the show is precisely what it is: just a show. WOOHP doesn't exist in real life – I'd be concerned if the whole world were policed by an organization that is so susceptible to attacks itself – and obviously, most of the villains' plans wouldn't work in real life either (except mine, equally obviously).
Totally Spies was created by people who wanted to put on something fun for kids aged 6 to 12 to watch, and that much is apparent from the very premise of the show. But for those of you who fall outside this age range, I can definitely understand how you might appreciate its entertainment value anyway. Good triumphs over evil all the time, and at the end of each episode the bad guy is appropriately caught and sent to the detention center for an unspecified period of time, often never to be seen again. Most characters are dressed fashionably (with the notable exception of Boogie Gus) and the spies' gadgets are enviable works of technological prowess and artistry, neatly delivered in a timely manner.
But the real world doesn't work that way. For those of you who are old enough to be getting a taste of working life and independence, it probably won't take you long to figure out that almost nothing out there turns out the way it should. Bad guys run rampant, and they are seldom caught. They could be your roommate, your colleagues, even your boss (Jerry being a prime example of what I mean here) – and the worst part of it is that you won't be able to do anything about it. Your predicament will be that because of these real-world villains, you will be under enough emotional distress on a daily basis to cause you significant discomfort, but at the same time you won't be able to report it to anyone because they won't take you seriously. No one is going to help you – no law enforcement officers, let alone a trio of teenaged spies – and therefore you are forced to act purely out of self-interest just to be able to survive each day.
This brings me to my next point: sociopathy. I am well aware that I play a character with sociopathic tendencies. The show's writers weren't originally anticipating this, but being 'Tim Scam' just came to me naturally, simply because he and I are one and the same. I want to emphasize here that we are all sociopaths, only to varying degrees. Humans by nature are selfish creatures, and under extreme conditions, the ugly truth comes out: we care about ourselves much more than about anyone else. If any of you have studied war or military history, you've likely also heard countless stories of people turning against their siblings and parents, of that unharmed soldier leaving his wounded companion to die a slow and painful death, of soldiers being ordered to kill innocent civilians and winding up enjoying it in a perverse way. We even have an entire field of study, economics, that operates under the guiding principle that people act only out of self-interest.
So how does any of this apply to you? If there's one thing you can take away from this, it is that sometimes, cutting a few corners is perfectly acceptable. Perhaps it used to be different in older times, but as the world gets increasingly competitive, it is no longer sufficient to be operating perfectly within the rules. In fact, in many cases the so-called 'rules' act more as guidelines, certain items that serve as general advice but are not strictly followed all the time. We are moving away from a clear separation of 'good' and 'evil' and 'black' and 'white' to a different scale, one that starts with pitch black and gradually lightens up in a spectrum of varying shades until it reaches pure white. While I would certainly advise against blatantly violating the guidelines (you don't want to disadvantage yourself by getting on the bad side of those who are in charge!), things do need to be done, and as more and more people believe that they should use any means necessary to complete them, you have no choice but to follow suit – only for the sake of survival. This, I think, is the main difference between Totally Spies and reality – in real life, it is sometimes more fun to be a villain than it is to be an agent on the side of good.
Godspeed to you all, and stay classy.
- Tim Scam