Summary: This is based on the film Bringing Up Baby which is set between the wars. I have updated it to the 21st century. All Ianto Jones wants to do is complete his prize dinosaur, expand his museum and marry Lisa then he meets Jack Harkness and Baby and his world is turned upside down.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters as they belong to Russell T Davies and the BBC but I do get to play with them. I also do not own Bringing Up Baby which is an RKO Pictures film. This is purely for entertainment purposes only.

Chapter 1

Dr Ianto Jones sat on the scaffolding looking at his prize possession. Most of the skeleton of the pteranodon longiceps was hanging from the ceiling in front of him, except for the missing crest bone. The skeleton looked strangely bereft without it. All around were other skeletons of dinosaurs, mostly smaller examples, as the Museum of Wales had never been able to afford the largest of the extinct reptiles. This was his world, collecting specimens and giving talks for visitors. He loved to talk to the children who always knew more than the adults. They were just as fascinated as he had been as a child; somehow he'd never grown out of it.

On the floor his assistant, Lisa Hallet, busied herself sorting through a collection of bones they'd received that week. They were supposed to be parts of a velociraptor, the sort of dinosaur made popular by 'Jurassic Park'. Ianto had the largest of the bones in front of him and he examined it carefully.

'Do you know, Lisa, I think this one must belong in the tail.' He was dressed in his usual suit, covered by brown overalls. On his nose, precariously perched, were his glasses. He'd lost several pairs simply leaning over from this height.

'Nonsense, Ianto, you tried it in the tail yesterday and it didn't fit.' Lisa was all business, dressed in a fitting black skirt suit. It was she who really kept the department organised and functioning; Ianto Jones was inclined to dream. He liked to look at his prizes and imagine them roaming free. Even 'Jurassic Park' hadn't put him off that idea. What he really dreamed of was getting space for a T Rex, not to mention the funding to buy one. It would cost a fortune but Ianto knew that Gwen Williams had a fortune, inherited from her parents, who had created Torchwood International. All he had to do was persuade some hot shot trust lawyer that spending a million pounds on some old set of bones was a good idea!

One of the porters strolled in and handed Lisa a piece of paper. 'Ianto!' she cried, looking up. 'It's an e-mail from Utah! They think they've found your crest bone! Isn't that wonderful? You'll finally have Myfanwy intact!'

'What?' he said as he clambered down. 'Show me!'

'They say it'll be delivered tomorrow. Isn't it exciting? Oh Ianto, you must be thrilled!'

'I am, after so many years of looking! You know how rare these things are.' Ianto was so excited he grabbed Lisa and kissed her.

'Ianto, stop it! There are people about! Now isn't the time! There's a time and a place for everything.' She looked at him sternly.

'But, Lisa, we're getting married tomorrow! Now isn't that a strange coincidence? Two such important things happening on the same day! We're going to have such a celebration when we go away!'

'What do you mean, go away?' Lisa replied. 'We've got far too much to do here. You've got the pteranodon to finish and there are the velociraptor bones to sort. As soon as the wedding is over, we'll be coming back here. Nothing must interfere with your work. Our marriage mustn't involve any domestic entanglements at all. You cannot afford to be distracted; what with the funding bid, it's too important.'

Ianto looked over his glasses. 'Does that mean..' She stopped him.

'I mean everything, Ianto.'

'Ah, but, Lisa, I was hoping that… You mean no children and everything?' He almost pouted.

'Exactly,' Lisa said, spreading her arms wide. 'This will be our child. Yes, Ianto, I see our marriage purely as a dedication to our work.'

Now Ianto was annoyed. 'Come on, Lisa. Everyone should have a honeymoon.'

She shook her head. 'We haven't time for such a thing. Oh, and isn't your meeting with Mr Sato in an hour? You need to get ready. We need that funding, Ianto.'

'What funding?' he asked, absent-mindedly.

'Oh, Ianto, what would you do if I wasn't here to organise you? I swear your head is like your beloved pteranodon, always in the clouds. Mr Sato is the lawyer who represents the Harkness Foundation. Remember they're going to give us the money for the T Rex, if you persuade them.'

'Oh yes, the T Rex, of course.' He put his hands on her arms. 'Thank you, darling. You're right of course. I couldn't survive without you. Now, where are we meeting again?'

'The golf course at Celtic Manor and, Ianto, you need to wow him.'

'Oh I can do that. I know I'm not much of a talker but I know everything about these creatures and I'm sure like every little boy he'd have loved them too. I will be bloody awesome!'

'Now Ianto, watch your language! You know how formal some lawyers are.'

He ran to the door. 'I'll be amazing! After the news about the crest, I'm on top form! I'll get the money I promise, dearest. It'll make a great wedding present!'

'Don't forget to let Mr Sato win,' she shouted.

Ianto knew he wasn't very good really. 'I don't think that'll be a problem, my angel.'

An hour later Ianto sat in the clubhouse bar waiting for Mr Sato to arrive. He'd dressed appropriately and had swallowed down a swift whisky to steady his nerves. He wasn't good with strangers, so this pitching for funding was a bit of an ordeal for him. He watched as a Japanese woman swept into the room, her caddy in tow. She walked up to him.

'You must be Dr Jones.' She held out a hand. 'I'm Toshiko Sato.'

He jumped up from his stool. 'But you're a woman,' he said, before he could stop himself.

'Very observant of you, Dr Jones. You have an eye for detail. I hope your golf game is as good. What do you play off? I play off six usually.' Ianto had no real idea what she was talking about. He'd hardly played any golf before.

'Oh I'm just average,' he said, hoping that would be enough.

Just watching the lawyer tee off at the first frightened him. She really seemed to know that she was doing. Still, he had a job to do and he didn't make a bad effort, he just hooked it a bit.

'I really can't tell you just how important this endowment to the museum would be. We'd really like to put the museum on the dinosaur map. It would mean so much to me personally. I hope we can depend on your support.'

'Dr Jones, you seem to think it's my decision how the funds from the Torchwood Trust are used. I only advise the family, although I need to ensure that the money is being spent wisely. Only Mrs Williams can make the final decision and as you know, she has her own interests.' Ianto went to speak again but she held up her hand as she lined up her second shot to the green. 'Dr Jones,' she said impatiently. 'When I play golf I only talk between shots and then only about golf!'

'Oh yes, sorry. I didn't mean to put you off your stroke.'

'We could continue this discussion at the nineteenth over a whisky and, as you hooked your shot, you'd better go and find your ball. It looked to me as if it went over to the 18th fairway.'

'Oh dear, yes,' Ianto said. When they got to the spot Ianto noticed a man lining up his ball. The man was tall, dark and unusually dressed for golf, as he was wearing a RAF greatcoat over his blue trousers and shirt. Even more unusually, he seemed to be wearing red braces. As Ianto approached the man smiled what the palaeontologist had to admit was a dazzling smile.

'Hey, stop that,' Ianto shouted. 'That's my ball.' But the man had hit it before he could stop him.

'You shouldn't do that you know, talk while I'm hitting the ball. You could have put me off my stroke. But then usually nothing puts me off my stroke.' Ianto felt like he was being slowly undressed as the man looked him up and down and he shivered slightly despite the warmth of the day. The man turned to his caddy. 'Straight on the green by the looks of it. Yet another birdie to me, I think.'

'But you don't understand,' Ianto spluttered. 'That was my ball. It has a circle on it.'

'Mine is a PGA,' the other man said. 'Oh and look, it's right next to the pin.' As he strode forward Ianto had trouble keeping pace. Reaching the ball the handsome man lined up his putt. 'It's this for my record,' he said.

'But look the ball has a circle on it! It's my ball!' There was that smile again and why was the caddy grinning as the dark haired man shook his arse?

'Getting a good look, Jimmy,' he shouted. 'Rear of the year 2010, I'll have you know!' The putt went in the hole and Ianto rushed to pick out the ball.

'There, it's a circle!' he said triumphantly.

'Well of course it is. It wouldn't roll if it was square!' the other man countered. 'And it's only a game. What does it matter? Here have it. I really have no interest in handling your balls!' Jimmy the caddy suppressed a laugh. Ianto scratched his head.

'Yes, well I'll get back to my game,' he said. 'You've put me in a very difficult position. I hope you realise that.'

The dark haired man gave what Ianto could only describe as a leer, after looking him up and down yet again. 'I'll try any position with you that you like, handsome!'

Ianto spluttered and blushed; who the hell was this man, and was he really coming on to him? Now both caddies were laughing out loud.

'Jones! Jones, come here! I'm waiting for you to take your shot,' Toshiko Sato yelled.

'I'll be with you now, Ms Sato,' Ianto replied.

In the car park, Jack whistled a happy tune as he strode back to his car. He then discovered that there were two cars exactly the same, parked next to each other, and for the life of him he couldn't remember his own licence plate. It had been a great party the night before. He tried the door of the nearest car; it was open. It must be his; he was always forgetting to lock it. He got in and lowered the visor. The keys were there just as always. He lowered the roof and turned the key; even in a Mini it was going to be a squeeze to get out. He moved forward and backward trying to get the angle right.

Ianto was halfway back to his second shot when his caddy said, 'Hey, Dr Jones! Isn't that your car?'

Ianto turned to see that man moving his beloved Mini Cooper back and forth. He winced as the Mini hit the car in front. 'I'll be there in a minute, Ms Sato!' he yelled, before running to the car park. He stood in front of his precious Mini. 'Hey, what the hell do you think you're doing?' he shouted.

'I'm trying to get out of this space. Whoever parked next to me didn't leave me much room.'

Ianto winced again as the wing mirrors collided. 'But this is my car!' he said, as he jumped out of the way.

'Oh, good! Would you just move it, then I can get mine out.' Jack said.

'But you're in my car!' Ianto insisted. Jack ignored him.

'If you could just move your Mini back a little that would really help. What a coincidence that we have the same car! You show great taste! Now, if you could…'

'OK,' Ianto said, 'I'll move your car, just be careful with mine.' The top was already down and the door open. 'Keys?'

'Oh, I always keep a spare pair in the visor.' Jack replied absent-mindedly. Ianto pulled it down, started the car and reversed it. Jack moved forward too quickly and hit the car in front again, though harder this time.

'Look what you've done, ' Ianto cried.

'Oh, it doesn't matter,' Jack said, 'I'm insured.'

'But that's my car!' Ianto yelled again.

'Your car! Your golf ball! Is there anything in the world that doesn't belong to you?' There was that leer again.

'Yes, thank heavens! You!' Ianto replied, exasperated.

'Oh, I'm sure I could arrange something. Now haven't you got a game you should be playing?' Jack pulled away.

Forgetting the golf, Ianto decided to follow him. Jack led him a merry dance down country lanes until he lost him. There Ianto was, still driving this infuriating man's car and no doubt having screwed up the million pound grant. Lisa was going to kill him. He took out his phone and called Ms Sato's office. Thirty minutes later someone called back. 'Ms Sato understands you were taken ill and says can you be at The Ivy at 8:30 this evening, dress formal.'

'Yes,' Ianto said, wondering if that meant a dinner jacket.