Shadow: This is a little sequel to my last fic, Coke & Pepsi c:

WARNINGS: Drug use, sexual encounters

The dingy room was no stranger to Alfred as he twisted the tourniquet in his teeth to draw it taut. He had been here many, many times. He groaned and tapped at his arm, not even second guessing himself as he took the syringe and deftly plunged the needle into the vein to shoot up. When he had exhausted the syringe he plucked it out and tossed it onto the table so he could release the tourniquet and let the drugs begin to course through his system, spreading out and washing over him like the calming waves of the ocean; just the high he needed.

Ivan was not a fan of the needles. It would rot his arm, he would tell Alfred. But in his opinion there was just nothing better. It was a treat. Ivan was still hung up on the powder. He had the control. Alfred had control, but not the kind that Ivan had. After work, after school, the Russian would chide him, urge him to control himself just until they were alone in the sanctity of their dirty apartment. Until the drugs could overwhelm them both and they would have the sweaty, impaired sex they needed right after snuffing and shooting up.

Alfred opened up his eyes to see Ivan crawling on top of him and smiled hazily. Everything was so blurry, so warm, so good. The white powder couldn't give him the high that the syringe could give him. If only Ivan would let him have the syringe more often. It would solve a lot of cravings. But no, he was supposed to snort, to swallow, anything but the needles. They were such a treat Alfred forgave Ivan for any misgivings they could have had beforehand for supplying him his favourite reward.

As Ivan kissed him he thought about his life beforehand. So clean cut, so whited out, so boring. He wanted excitement. The excitement that Ivan could give him. And that was exactly what he had in his life.

So long as Alfred complied with Ivan's requests and demands he was supplied. Not that he couldn't be supplied without Ivan, but he got him the cleanest supply, he got him the best deals, the best highs. It cost him nothing but his body. But that was alright- his body was Ivan's to take, whether they were high or not. He belonged to the Russian in every sense and form, and he couldn't be happier about it. His life now was because of Ivan, and his life remained in Ivan's hands.

Alfred knew his life could be better, knew he could have more... But he didn't want more. He was happy with his mediocre job that Ivan made him have, he was happy with the school Ivan made him go to for his degree, he was happy to come home to a filthy apartment to a suave and gorgeous man he gave his entire being to. Ivan was a horrible influence on his former posh life full of high class dinner and expensive gifts every week; but he was everything Alfred could ever want. He was excitement and love and lust and everything he could ever dream of. And Alfred wanted nothing more from his life than what he already had.

As he was penetrated, Alfred cried out and tossed his head back, cracking his skull on the bare wooden arm of the couch, whimpering. He shuddered and curled up against Ivan for comfort, glad to find that it was eagerly given to him. Ivan kissed away the pain and the tears, more than willing to make both disappear. Alfred knew Ivan cared so much about him, by just the way he spoke and held him, touched him, kissed him, comforted him... No one could understand the love between them. They always spoke of how much of a bad influence Ivan was. They never considered how he cared for Alfred beyond just the drugs. The drugs were all they ever saw.

Ivan sat them up with him in his lap, kissing at his neck, up his jaw and over his cheeks until he finally kissed him on the lips. Ivan knew just how to tease him to make him love it. But he would always love it. Ivan could do no wrong to him. Alfred could fuck up beyond comprehension, but Ivan was his living breathing perfect. Ivan was his caretaker, his lover, his supplier, his god. And that was how they would remain, until some unforeseen force tore them apart and forced them to change.

As he rolled and moved, sliding over Ivan's lap, over and over, Alfred could only think about how dull and boring his life would be if he had decided to turn Ivan down on the one faithful day he had greeted him. If he had decided to turn down that first snuff of cocaine. If he had decided not to come back.

How drawl and ignorant of the world he had been. How lifeless and colourless. At least now he had someone he knew cared about him. Now the only reason anyone form his life before then cared was because he was gone.

Ivan growled and grunted beneath him, taking Alfred's arm and kissing along the forearm, up until he could find the spot he always shot up. "You need to shoot up elsewhere," he whispered huskily, "going to rot your arm." Alfred's only response was a short giggle, gripping Ivan's cheeks and forcing him to look back up and kiss him. "I'm serious," he murmured as he kissed back eagerly, "I want you to take care of yourself." Ivan was so sweet with his words. He knew just what to say to worm his way into Alfred's heart. And his veins too.

"As long as I've got you I'm as taken care of as I ever need to be," Alfred whispered right back, kissing Ivan again. He moaned, rutting down harder and harder, shuddering. His orgasm was imminent. But he waited for Ivan. He wanted for them to come together.

The words obviously warmed Ivan's heart. Alfred smirked and kissed him softly, sweet and tender. The sweet and tender in their relationship wasn't lacking. Neither was the rough and angry. They had the perfect balance. He dragged his nails over Ivan's back, shuddering and crying out as he reached his orgasm with back bowed. He moaned softly, shivering with the slightest smirk as he leered down at his lover, knocking their foreheads together with heavy breath as semen slowly seeped out of his ass. "You have the pills?"

A pale hand carded through his hair, a nod given in return. "Yes... But you're still up." Alfred didn't need the pills if he was still up. Using prescription pain meds and cough syrup to try and offset the oncoming hangover and headache and killing rejection his body put on him was just a habit now. Of course, as Ivan kept telling him, if he stayed with the powder it would be much less of an issue. But Alfred liked to live even the edgiest life to the most exciting ends.

"I know, I wanna go higher," Alfred whispered, gripping Ivan by the sides of his head and pressing their bodies tighter together. "I want to touch the stars."

Ivan's thin, pianist fingers slid between his own and entwined together. "I'll help you reach as high as you want to go." Ivan would do anything for Alfred, just as Alfred would for him. But Ivan knew the limits of the drugs and the limits of the body. Alfred was pushing the limits immensely these days. "I'll get them."

"Not now." Alfred slid his free hand into the Russian's ashen hair and pushed against him, trying to merge their bodies. "Give me a sec." The moment was too perfect for him, clouded by the drugs, but so clean cut in the way it was delivered to his brain. It was perfect to him. And to him, perfection was to be savoured and not rushed.

Breath hitching, the Russian nodded and kissed the boy's cheek, sensing the crash coming. He hadn't expected it so soon... But he obliged, not daring to move. He wanted Alfred to have his moment of perfection, as he usually did near the end of his highs. Which were seeming to come sooner and sooner to the beginnings. "I love you," he whispered out in Russian, wanting Alfred to hear it before he slipped into the darkness of his crash. He pushed him down onto the bed and went to get the pills and the cough medicine to soften his fall.

Alfred gladly downed the pills and chugged the cough medicine before he began to truly calm down, getting sleepy. Ivan smiled and leaned down to kiss him. His sweet little risk taker. One day he was going to take those pills to sleep and never wake up- and that was what Ivan truly feared. But he could never turn him down.

As Alfred calmed down Ivan sat beside him and stroked his hair, looking out the window as he slowly reached the end to his own high. He had gone through it a lot more, he didn't crash as hard as Alfred did. But he knew he couldn't compare them. He had been at this game a lot longer than Alfred had.

There was a crack of lightning outside the window, blinding the Russian momentarily, then the thunder rolled in. He yelped as Alfred jerked in his lap, but didn't get up or cry or shout out for him. That was unusual. Normally he would he terrified and jumping all over him.

Ivan leaned down, frowning and fearing the worst. His fears were confirmed as he heard no breathing. Damn.

It was a mad dash with Alfred over his shoulder, running them downstairs to a cab, to the hospital, having to explain to the doctors what had happened (without actually explaining what had happened). And then there was waiting. The waiting was the most painful experience Ivan could ever endure. Not when someone so precious was on the line. Not when something he could have prevented was going to be lost.

Ivan slept in the lobby. Though what he had could hardly be called sleep. But he passed the time, until he could get word that yes, his treasure had been protected. He slid through the doors of the room and took his seat beside the hospital bed, grasping at Alfred's hand, holding tightly to to the golden trophy he had nearly lost.

There was little reaction for what felt like hours. For what was most likely hours. But eventually, Alfred's cerulean eyes fluttered open and darted over to Ivan. A tiny smile graced his lips, coughing. "Mm... Baby has to learn to say no to me," he whispered in a husky voice, squeezing Ivan's hand back to get his attention.

Ivan flushed and panicked, then found himself sighing with relief. He smirked and leaned over, lips hovering over Alfred's. "I promise to learn." Their lips joined and eyes gazing into one another, hands linked. "And so long as I learn, so long as you shall stay. As I said, til' death do us part. But there will not be a parting for a long while yet."