Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi, except my ideas...

Okay, so here's another story. It won't be all that long, but the first few chapters will probably be a bit on the short side.

What do you need to know? Just that Manny and Jay are engaged, Emma and Sean are a couple, and that this takes place in the summer after Emma and Manny's first year of university.

Enjoy!

Manny held the paper between her shaking hands, tears flowing from her brown eyes. She looked around the room. It somehow took on a different look now. Her eyes had been open and now there was just no way to pretend this huge problem didn't exist. She let herself fall onto the bed, wondering what her next move should be. Should she confront him? Should she try to let it go; it had obviously been a long time ago. Her head hurt from the thoughts whizzing around inside.

Manny wanted to take the papers and rip them to shreds, but something told her to keep them. Her eyes flew to the words that crushed her heart. He loved her. Maybe he still does. Manny tried to stop herself from thinking these thoughts, but they just kept coming. Jay, her Jay, had a secret.

Her eyes flew back to the top page. For the third time, she read its contents, with tears in her eyes.

I guess the things I'm going to write would be better said face to face. Call me a coward. Call me inarticulate. It's just that I've never been good with words. Every time I try to say something important, it just never comes out right. At least on paper I can reread and edit without you knowing how much of a moron I really am.

Okay... so things between us went from bad to, okay, to horrible. You probably hope I just drop off the face of the Earth or something. Who knows, that could still happen. But before it does, there are a few things you should know.

I never meant to hurt you...in any way...ever.

I chose you because there was (and is) no one else who can even compare to you.

I never expected you to...you know...but I guess part of me thought if you were willing to do that, then you obviously cared about me some.

I fell in love with you. (Not a line. Totally true.)

Okay, so here's the facts. After the shooting, you were different, not so guarded, almost open. At first the thought of manipulating you was appealing, but then you cried in front of me, in the car, when we dropped Ellie off. You bared your broken and battered soul. And instead of being needy, I was needed. I was at that moment that I fell for you. But I don't do well with feelings. I could have told you the truth, but then I risked being vulnerable; I risked you breaking a heart I never knew I even had.

And just as soon as things began, they ended. But I never got the chance to tell you these things.

Emma, beautiful, do-gooder, Emma, oblivious to just how wonderful you are. You're smart and gorgeous. You have a heart of gold and care about the things that other people pass by. I'd like to think that maybe, even for a second, I was one of those things. But I'm a realist and not a dreamer.

So I'll continue to watch as you and Sean get closer, as you grow more and more beautiful, as you fulfill every dream you've ever had.

I'll always wish for what-might-have-beens and love you, the first girl I've ever really loved, forever.

Forever. Jay vowed to love Emma forever, so where did that leave Manny?

Hope you're intrigued. Please review!