One shot, Post-Ep for 12X14 'Collision Course'. 'Truth in advertising'-it was suggested that I add Spencer Reid to the character tag, so that those who like to read stories about him could find it. But he only makes a 'cameo' appearance.

My Best Friend's Mother

"Diana? It's me, Jennifer."

JJ called through the door, concerned at having heard only the voice of Diana Reid, and not that of her nocturnal caretaker.

"Please, can you open the door? I came…. I came to visit with you."

And to break your heart.

JJ had already spent twenty minutes sitting in her car, parked outside Reid's apartment, waiting for the swelling around her eyes to subside. The very idea of her best friend in prison…..her gentle, kind, empathetic best friend…..was unfathomable. Unimaginable. Her brain refused to absorb it.

It's like we're living in some kind of alternate reality. Spence, going to prison for something we all know he didn't do. Me, taking care of his mother.

It was inconceivable, as had been the idea that they could lose their unit chief to an escaped serial killer. But Reid being in custody hadn't simply been an idea. She'd seen it. Seen the handcuffs slapped on his wrists, seen him whisked away to God knows where, casting a look over his shoulder at the team he was leaving behind.

He looked so scared. So alone, so….

JJ felt her eyes filling again, remembering, revisiting the scene at the courthouse. The sounds and images filled her mind once again.

She stood with the others, in shock, until Reid was gone from sight. She felt her control leaving her, but stubbornly stood in place, in case he should look back again. She wanted him to see the resolve in their faces, the determination to put an end, as quickly as possible, to their collective nightmare.

But he didn't look back again, and her control was faltering, and her natural reserve wouldn't allow her to break down in front of the others. Jennifer Jareau didn't do that.

Instead, she found an empty staircase, and an isolated landing, and she gave vent to her grief. Standing there, looking out at the parking lot below, unable to make out the detail because of the wetness of her eyes, the only vision that would present itself was the one of the frightened Reid being led away.

Oh, my God, Spence! Spence! I can't believe this. I can't even get it into my head!

She'd held herself together throughout the case they'd just completed. She'd held herself together when she'd first broken the news to Diana Reid. She'd held herself together through the hearing and, just barely, the denial of bail. But now, her composure gave way, her sorrow fueled by a feeling of helplessness.

She covered her mouth with her hands, to dampen the sound of her weeping, but it was too late. Half a floor above, the stairway door opened, and before she even had time to react, she heard the sound of footsteps making their way down. She kept her face directed toward the window, hoping whoever it was would just continue on by. But the footsteps stopped, right behind her, and were replaced by a human voice.

"You don't have to go through this alone any more than he does, you know."

The words took a moment to penetrate, and then she turned around, to the concerned face of David Rossi. Embarrassed, she made an ineffectual swipe at the tears running down her face.

"I can't believe this is happening! How did it come to this, Rossi?" Her voice broken.

"He didn't do anything wrong. We'll get him out."

"But….what if …what if…" Unable to say it aloud, though her thoughts were deafening.

What if we don't? What if Scratch wins? What if he spends the rest of his life in some hell hole? What if we're too late? What if Spence isn't alive to come out? What if he isn't 'Spence' anymore?

Rossi didn't need to hear the words. He'd had the same thoughts. But he was concerned for his troubled young colleague, and tried to comfort her.

"He'll be all right. He's strong."

She'd said those very words to Stephen Walker a few days ago. And she fully believed them to be true.

"I know he is. But he's also vulnerable. He believes in trusting people. You've seen how often he tries to empathize with an unsub. Can you imagine how easy it will be to take advantage of him?"

She was right, and Rossi knew it. He could only stand there, in solidarity with her, until he sensed that she'd calmed herself.

"Go home. Hug your boys. Get some rest, and then we're back in the battle tomorrow."

"I can't go home. I need to see Diana….Reid's mom."

"Tonight?"

"Emily said Spence called his mother before the hearing. He thought he'd be going home. So he just told her he'd be late….."

Her voice breaking again, at the idea of Diana expecting her son home for dinner.

Rossi whistled, understanding the situation.

"What are you going to tell her?"

"The truth."

The senior profiler's brows went up at that. "Really? Are you sure about that?"

JJ managed to shrug and shake her head at the same time. "Not at all. But it's what Spence wants."

"It is?" Incredulity in Rossi's voice.

JJ understood he reaction, because she'd shared it, in the beginning. Not so now.

"When Spence first brought her home with him, I stopped by to visit. It wasn't going well at all, then. Her memory and her orientation were both coming and going, and her behavior was unpredictable. She'd even gotten angry enough to hit him, at one point." JJ paused, remembering the red stripes on Reid's face. "I respect Spence enough to abide by his decisions, but I thought he was making them with his heart, and not his brain. I thought he'd made a huge mistake. But then I stopped by again, another time, and she was completely lucid, and lovely and intelligent….as a matter of fact, she's pretty brilliant."

Rossi smiled. "Our boy comes by it honestly, then?"

JJ returned the smile in kind. "Definitely. I actually enjoyed being with her. And then I stopped by another day to drop off some articles Spence had asked for, and I had the boys with me. I wasn't so sure I should bring them up, but I couldn't leave them in the car. So I took a chance… and they loved each other. She had Henry reading to her, and then she read to both of them."

"What if she hadn't been having a good day?"

JJ shrugged. "I don't know. I guess we would have just left. But it showed me, I think, a little of what Spence sees. He knows she's not always there, and he knows she can't be left on her own, to take care of herself. But he also knows the Diana who played with my boys that day. He has memories of her. She's his mother, and he loves her. And I know, because he told me, that he has tremendous respect for her."

"As well he should," said Rossi. "That woman has fought some tremendous battles in her lifetime."

He'd met met Diana in Las Vegas, when she'd purposely risked a relapse by stopping her medication, so that she could have a clear memory of past events, all for the sake of alleviating heartache on the part of her son. Having witnessed the angst on both sides, and the inherent heroism in what Diana had chosen to do, Rossi held her in high esteem.

"Yeah, well….so, he wants to be honest with her. He feels like he owes her that. On her good days, anyway. I think he even wishes he'd been honest with her about those meds. All I know is that, when he was allowed to call me the other day, he asked me to tell her….about everything."

The heavy Italian brows rose a second time.

"That was quite a favor to ask."

She shook her head. "He's my best friend. I'd do anything for him, especially when he can't do it for himself." Pausing a moment, the entirety of the situation coming back to assault her psyche once again. "This is all so unbelievable! And that it should be happening to Spence, and….oh, God….."

Closing her eyes in misery.

Rossi was at a loss. In truth, he felt just as she did. Reid had been sent off to the wolves, and the young man had looked every bit as if he'd understood just that.

He knows they'll feed on him. And she knows it, too.

There really was nothing else to say, but much to do.

So he offered only a simple encouragement.

"Good luck with Mrs. Reid. Keep your chin up, and remember that we're the best at what we do. We'll get Scratch. And we'll get our boy back."

Despite Rossi's words, she'd cried all the way from the courthouse. Images kept presenting themselves like unwelcome strangers….Reid having his arms wrangled behind his back….Reid's wrists bound by handcuffs….Reid being led away from them. And then, the most devastating of all...the expression on his face as he'd looked over his shoulder to his friends…..

Oh, Spence!

Surprise, and fear, and sorrow, and apology…all had been contained in his eyes in that awful moment. At the time, she'd been so caught off guard herself that she hadn't even been composed enough to send a look of encouragement back toward him. She'd been horrified, and she was sure it had shown in her face.

Her inclination was to berate herself for not having stood strong when he'd needed her to. But the practical side of her mind understood the reaction she'd had. It was a frightening development. Reid would be in danger, and alone, and …..

He's so gentle. It will kill him, just being there. Let alone if…. God, if You're listening….well, if You're listening, tell me, then. Why did You let this happen in the first place?

A hundred….maybe a thousand….conversations she'd had with Reid about the existence of evil in the world came to mind. She knew what he would say. But she still didn't like it.

All right, then, so humans make choices. But…this human….even if it was a bad choice, he only meant it for good! He did it because he loves his mother! That's what we're supposed to do, right? And, besides, all the rest of it….the murder, the drugs…that wasn't Spence! So why? Why would You let a sweet, gentle soul go through something so horrible?

She had no idea about how to resolve that existential crisis. And she had no idea what to do about Diana. She would tell her the truth, of course, because Reid had made it clear to her that he felt like he owed his mother honesty. But Diana….all of them, really….had expected Reid to be going home tonight. Late for dinner, but home. Now, even if things went in his favor, they wouldn't do so for months.

Or for as long as it takes us to find Scratch.

Finding Peter Lewis, and proving his role in the framing of Reid, would be the only way to get the young genius out of prison without having to wait for trial. By now, they'd each had to face the fact that Lewis seemed to have the upper hand. He'd already succeeded in remaining hidden long enough that they'd lost their unit chief and friend to witness protection. Now, they were losing the heart and brains of their team to prison, and to whatever else might befall him in that environment. With both Hotch and Reid gone, no matter the new members of the team, they were at a severe disadvantage. Finding Scratch could be a long process.

Whether the timeline was to be days, or weeks, or months, or years, she still needed to tell Diana. And she needed guidance on what to do about her in the long term. JJ was more than willing to do anything she could to help Spence, but she didn't think he'd envisioned his mother being isolated in his apartment, cared for by strangers, indefinitely.

When she'd finally pulled to the curb outside Reid's apartment, she'd forcibly pulled herself together, allowed the tell-tale signs of her weeping to subside, and trudged her way up the stairs. Now, having knocked and called out to Diana, she steeled herself for whatever was to come next.

She knocked again. "Diana?"

"Where's Spencer?" Calling through the door.

"He…..he can't come right now. So I came, instead. Please….can I come in?"

To JJ's surprise, the locks turned quickly, and the door flung open, seemingly of its own accord, as Diana was hidden behind it.

Stepping tentatively into the apartment, JJ looked around for some explanation as to why Reid's mother had been left alone. Then she heard sniffling to her right, and turned to see the night nurse dabbing at her eyes with a tissue.

Uh-oh, what did I walk into here?

Wondering if Diana's paranoia had returned, and if she'd become violent with the nurse, as she had with her son.

"Oh, Ms. Jareau, I'm so glad you're here!" the nurse sniffled. "Cassie hasn't called me back yet!"

"Called you back about what?"

"My father! My sister just called and said he's been brought to the hospital….they think he's having a heart attack! I can't…."

Diana had emerged from behind the door and was now listening intently to the conversation. Eyeing her, JJ thought she seemed calm enough. There was even a hint of empathy in her eyes. So the young profiler made a snap decision.

"I can stay. Go, be with your family. Let Cassie know I'm here."

"Oh, thank you, thank you! But….for the whole night?"

JJ looked again at Diana…and then into her own heart.

"Yes, for the whole night."

JJ had never been alone with Diana before. Their times together had most often included Reid and, over the past few days, Cassie, the day nurse. Tonight, the two women looked at each other warily.

"Where's Spencer?" demanded Diana once again.

"Um…can we sit down? Can I get you some tea? Or…have you had supper? I can get you something to eat."

"I was waiting for Spencer. He called and said he'd be late for dinner."

Briefly, JJ wondered if Diana had forgotten the situation her son was in. Forgotten all that she herself had told the woman, just few days ago. Forgotten the tears they'd both shed. But a closer at Diana's eyes revealed the truth.

She's in denial. Oh, how I wish I could leave her there. How I wish I could join her there!

"Diana…please, let's sit down. I have something to tell you."

"I'm not a weakling. I can hear whatever you have to say standing up."

Maybe not denial. Maybe rebellion. Still….

Looking back, JJ would have no idea what possessed her to do what she did next. Maybe some part of her saw the origins of Spence's deep well of empathy in Diana's eyes. Maybe it was just circumstance. Maybe it was an answer to prayer. Whatever it was, she was glad for it when, hearing Diana declare her strength, JJ gave in to her own weakness.

"Okay, but…..do you mind if I sit, then? I just….I don't think I have it in me."

She moved over to the sofa and lowered herself, leaning against the arm. Diana walked over to stand in front of her, arms crossed.

"Were you with him? Is my boy all right?"

JJ looked up at Spence's mother, and felt her eyes well. Diana saw, and became alarmed.

"What is it? What's happened to my son?!"

As she struggled to find her voice, and prayed for the words, JJ reflexively reached a hand out. To her surprise, the older woman took it, and held tightly to it, as she sat down beside the younger.

"Tell me. Please."

JJ nodded, and swallowed. "I will. I know Spence would want me to. Wants me to," she quickly corrected. "You remember we talked about what happened in Mexico, and that we were able to bring him back to DC?"

Diana nodded, blessedly having one of her more lucid days. "Yes. They put him in some godawful jail. But he called me, and he said he would be late."

"I know he did. That was because...well, we…he and all the rest of us on the team…..we thought the judge would let him come home. Maybe not back to work, but home. Sort of a house arrest, I guess. We all assumed the judge would understand that he couldn't have done this, that he's a respected FBI agent, and that he must be being framed. We thought the judge would let us tell her about who he is, about his character. But….she didn't."

"But why? He's a good boy! He didn't do anything wrong!"

JJ agreed with Diana. "We all know that, but the judge decided differently. So…..Spence can't come home tonight."

Or any night soon. "We're not sure when he'll be able to."

Diana spent a moment…..a long moment…processing the thought. "Can I visit him?"

JJ hadn't expected the question. "Uh….I don't know. I guess I can try to find out tomorrow."

"Where is he?"

JJ took a breath to try to steady her voice, not wanting Diana to pick up on her own apprehension.

"He's been transferred to a different facility. A different pri….a different jail. He'll be there until his trial."

Diana's eyes were filled with sadness, but her voice was completely matter-of-fact as she asked, "Is he afraid?"

Perhaps it was the question. Or maybe the stoicism with which it had been asked. Or maybe it was what JJ knew to be the honest answer to it. Whatever it was, it hit her suddenly, and unexpectedly, and she had no chance to fight for control. Something overwhelmed her in the moment, and before she realized it, she was in tears once again.

Taking in the sight of the young woman crying about her son, Diana steeled herself by leaning back into the opposite arm of the sofa.

"Tell me."

JJ wiped at the wetness on her cheeks, annoyed with herself for having broken down in front of the woman she was supposed to be there to comfort.

"I'm sorry. I just…. " She turned her body, to face Diana directly. "He's going to be held at a maximum security prison. I think they'll put him in a protective setting there…" Please, God! "….but it's still a little scary, yes."

Diana studied the younger woman. "You're afraid for him." A statement.

JJ was. But she didn't want to contribute to Diana's distress. Except that Diana didn't appear to be quite as distressed as JJ herself was. So she answered honestly.

"I am. Some of the men in there will take….advantage….of someone like Spence. He's strong, I know that, but…."

"Jennifer, has Spencer ever told you what his young life was like?"

He had.

"I know, he was bullied. A lot. But that was in middle school, and high school. This…"

JJ was still speaking when Diana rose and walked over to the small table next to Reid's favorite reading chair. She retrieved a large volume and brought it back to the sofa, situating herself immediately next to the younger woman. Setting the book on her lap, she tapped the cover.

"This is my memory book. I've been keeping it since I was a girl. At first, it was just something I enjoyed doing. Then, when I became ill, it became a necessity. It's my way to keep in touch with my life, when my mind won't do it."

JJ looked over at her companion. "Spence says you keep journals, too."

Diana's lips curved into a limited smile, courtesy of her dual illnesses.

"I do. I've kept them even longer than this book. There's one for each year of my life, although there are gaps, whenever I was too sick to write. But this book, this has the photographs, and the drawings, and an article here and there. I have a bit of an eidetic memory, just as Spencer does. Looking at the photos helps bring a lot of things back. Spencer and I have been looking at it together."

With that, she opened the book across both of their laps. JJ's eyes fell first upon a photograph of Diana marked 'age 17'. She was smiling broadly, and it was intensely reminiscent of the grin on Spence's face whenever he was particularly tickled by something.

"Oh," she said, "Spence looks just like that when he really smiles."

Diana seemed bemused at the statement. "He does?" Not having seen her son 'really smile' in years. "What makes him that happy?"

JJ smiled. "Well, mostly I see him like that when he's playing with my boys."

Diana nodded. "Henry and….Michael, right? They were very well-behaved when you brought them to visit."

If Diana remembered confusing Henry for the young Spencer, she didn't choose to mention it. And neither did JJ.

"They were pretty fascinated to meet the mother of their favorite uncle. I think you're kind of royalty to them."

Diana was intrigued by that statement.

"They consider Spencer to be family, then?"

JJ shifted to face her companion. "We all do. Because he is."

It was something she'd been wanting to say to Diana, throughout the few weeks they'd been getting acquainted. Mother to mother, she'd known the worry of the other, for the sake of her son. And she'd wanted to assure Diana that, after it was all over, after her diabolical illness had claimed her life as well as her memory, her son would not be alone in the world.

The two of them locked gazes for a long moment, and then Diana gave the slightest nod.

"Thank you."

And then, with no further ceremony to mark the exchange, she resumed turning pages, until they came to several photographs of her wedding.

"What a beautiful bride you were!" exclaimed JJ. Then, having never met the man in person, she took in the image of William Reid. "This is Spence's dad?"

Diana nodded. "My husband. It's funny, I have such a hard time remembering that we were happy, once." More regret than resentment in her tone.

She turned the page again, to a few more shots of the couple, and then, on the next page, there was Diana, holding an infant, and smiling brightly at the camera. JJ flashed immediately on the birth of Henry, and the moment she'd first held the life that would so innocently capture her own, and she wondered if Diana had been well enough to experience that same unforgettable feeling.

She issued a sharp intake of breath. "Ooh, that's Spence! Oh, my God, Diana…..he was so cute!"

Diana's smile was genuine, as she replied. "I thought so. He was so bright, even then. Look at how alert he was."

JJ grinned at the sight, and then began turning pages herself, anxious to look into the early life of her best friend. "And, oh, look at that hair!"

Diana chuckled. She chuckled.

"Yes, Spencer has always had quite the impressive mane, hasn't he?"

JJ spotted an altered photograph. "What's this?"

"Oh, that. That was Spencer's dream. His father and his Uncle Daniel had taken him to the circus, and he came home and told me all about how he wanted to be a lion tamer, or a trapeze artist. But what he really wanted most of all, was to walk the tightrope."

JJ squinted in disbelief. "Really? Spence wanted to be a circus performer?"

A physicist, maybe. A doctor. An astronaut, even. But….the circus?!

Diana nodded. "That's what he wanted. Sometimes, I wonder if, even then, he wanted to run away from home. Or maybe he just felt like he was walking a tightrope all the time. I have a way of making people experience those kinds of things."

JJ heard between the lines, and was quick to give assurance.

"He's talked to me about his childhood, Diana. I know it was hard for him, especially at school. But he loved you then, and he loves you now. I can only hope that my boys will feel that way about me, one day."

"I hope they won't have to forgive you, the way Spencer has had to forgive me."

JJ looked directly into Diana's eyes. "I love my boys. But I know that love isn't enough. I've already made a thousand mistakes, and I'll probably make a thousand more. And I hope they will be willing to forgive me, one day. Please don't worry about this, Diana. Spence….from what he's told me, even as a child, he was able to tell the difference between your illness and you. He doesn't blame you for anything."

Not even this hideous mess he's in now.

Diana held her gaze. "I love my boy, Jennifer. I always have, even when I wasn't able to show him."

JJ smiled. "I love him, too."

"You'll take care of him?"

"He's a part of my family, Diana. We'll take care of each other."

The older woman nodded, seemingly satisfied. "All right."

Then she turned another page, and another, and another. Sometimes, she had a story to tell, and sometimes JJ had a question to ask. The young profiler was fascinated at the glimpse into what made her best friend who he was. His life, told in a series of mementos deemed important by someone else. The disappearance of William from the photographs. The gradual stiffening of Diana's features, the increasingly frequent furrow to Reid's brow, the rare gleam of pleasure in his eyes. JJ could only wonder at the various defeats and victories that had brought each about.

As they entered into Reid's adult years, the photos became fewer, and the articles more numerous. Now it was Diana's turn to ask questions, and JJ's turn to tell stories. These stories required some whitewashing, considering the subject matter, but the younger woman managed to enchant the older with tales of her son's intellectual triumphs, his empathy, and the respect both engendered in others.

"That's my boy! He's always been special. I knew it from the very beginning. William always wanted him to play like other children, but I insisted. Leave him alone, I'd say. Sports aren't his gift. His gift is his mind." Tapping her own temple.

Which prompted JJ to tell the story of how Reid had hit the winning home run in the annual FBI/Secret Service softball game.

"You should have seen him, he was so excited! Although not as excited as Morgan!"

Diana recognized the name. "That's Derek Morgan, right? Spencer told me that he misses him, quite a bit."

JJ understood. "We all do. But he felt like he needed to make a change, once he and Savannah started their family. Did Spence tell you that Morgan's son is named after him?"

Diana nodded. "Yes, he did." Thinking a bit, then, "Does Derek know about Spencer? Does he know he's in trouble?"

"I expect Garcia told him. The two of them talk all the time."

"Do you think…..?"

JJ understood. "I'll talk to him myself. If there's any way he can help Spence, he will."

With the exchange about Morgan, the respite was over. They'd come full circle, and were back to the reason JJ had come in the first place. Diana felt it, too.

"Jennifer….will I ever see my son again?"

Direct. Blunt. Her voice controlled, her eyes anything but.

JJ reacted only to Diana's eyes, aware that her own were giving her away as well.

"I hope so. I pray for it. But…..the truth is, I don't know."

It was possible that Diana's history of mental illness would prove a barrier to visitation. JJ's heart broke all over again as she watched the woman's eyes fill at the idea.

Isn't this cruel enough? Give her son back to her!

Silently, Diana closed the memory book. Then she looked over at the young woman next to her.

"You're worried about Spencer, because you don't think he can survive in prison. I've just shown you what he's survived already. My son is strong. He knows how to hold on. He's been bent many times, but he's never been broken. Even if he and I never get to see one another again, he'll hold on, as long as he has something to hold on for. Please make sure he does."

Before JJ could respond, Diana stood and turned in the direction of the bedroom. She'd said what she had to say.

JJ stood quickly as well. "Wait….before you say good night….can I…..could we…." Her arms spread, indicating what she was having trouble getting out.

Diana wasn't a hugger. It just wasn't in her nature, nor in either of her diagnoses. But her son had become one, somehow. In the moment, she wondered if she was looking at the 'somehow'.

She moved closer to JJ and opened her arms as well. "For Spencer."

JJ walked into the stiff embrace and held it for a long moment. For Spencer. And for me.

When they separated, the two women looked at each other. JJ couldn't quite decipher the expression on Diana's face until the older woman spoke.

"You know, I've always wondered what it might be like to have a daughter. Not that I would give Spencer up for a minute, you understand. But I've wondered…and now, I think I might have quite liked it."

Having wondered the same thing herself, from time to time, JJ grinned. "I know what you mean. And, can I say, any girl would have been lucky to have a mother whose love is as deep as yours."

Diana patted the younger woman's hand and headed once again toward the bedroom.

After she'd gone in, JJ tried to settle herself on the sofa. At first, she found a natural sag in the cushion marking the spot where, she was certain, Reid lay on many a night. The contour of his long frame didn't quite fit to hers, so she flipped herself to the opposite side of the couch. But she still couldn't get comfortable, and her mind wouldn't rest. It was stuck on Diana. And Reid.

She just accepts it. It's like the universe has conspired against them, and she just accepts it, because she's so used to it. And still, she looks out for him. Still, she has hope. Because she sees what's in him. The best of him, the strength of him. Just as he sees the same in her. They were forged in fire.

Despite how close she and Spence had become over the years, JJ felt like she was coming to understand him in a new way….the dynamic of his relationship with his mother, the depth of their bond, and of the love between them, in the face of so much adversity. Externally, Diana Reid's affect often seemed strange and unpredictable, her conversation stilted. But, internally, her love for her son was as deep, and as strong, as any JJ had ever witnessed. It had formed Spence into the person she, herself, had come to love. For that, she would be forever grateful.

I will look out for him, Diana. I'll make sure he has a reason to hold on. Something to come home to, even if it can't be you. I promise.

Tears brimmed her eyes yet again, at the thought that Reid's separation from his mother...from all of them, really... might be permanent, but her body was too exhausted for weeping. The emotion of the day, and the long hours of turmoil, were rapidly taking their toll. No matter the restiveness of her mind, her body demanded sleep, and she could feel herself surrendering.

But, first, she stood and once more reversed her position on the sofa. This time, she purposely sought out the displaced sagging and softening of the cushions, and shifted her body downward, to fit into them. For days, now, she'd felt an emptiness surrounding her. A space where her best friend should have been.

As her body filled the dents created by his, she felt him with her. And she prayed...she prayed...he could feel her with him.

Standing guard, with Diana.