Yay, my first InuYasha fanfic! It's just a short humor about why you really shouldn't p'off Kagome-- especially if you're wearing a certain necklace. Don't be afraid to let me know if any of the spellings are wrong or anything.
I'm not sure if the people on fanfic capitalize the 'Y' in InuYasha, but that's how it appears on the manga cover and in the beginning of each episode, and basically everywhere where it's spelled officially, or whatever (e.g. wikepidia). Anyway-- enjoy.
Disclaimer: InuYasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi-- who is freaking awesome if I do say so myself-- and sadly, not to me.
(Although if I did get rights by some twist of fate, I would so totally have Kikyo fall off a cliff-- and actually die for real this time.)
A/N: This story is set roughly in the middle of the anime series.
"InuYasha, sometimes I just can't stand you!"
"Really? Because I can never stand you."
Kagome let out a useless groan of exhaustion, and fell into a pacing pattern, crossing back and forth in front of the obnoxious hanyou. It would be more bearable, in the least, if InuYasha weren't acting so calmly. But instead, he sat in a meditative position with his arms folded and his eyes closed, making Kagome feel inferior, like she wasn't worth even looking at as they battled it out.
"I told you already, I can't stand that demon. Can't you just take my word for it without invading my privacy, and getting so jealous?" Kagome puffed, again remembering a lowly cheetah demon who had grabbed Kagome's behind more times in the hour he was in their company than Miroku had grabbed Sango's as long as he'd known her.
"Jealous?" InuYasha repeated incredulously, opening his eyes at last and scoffing. "Jealous!" He glanced over at the exasperated looking Shippo as if expecting him to laugh along. "Jealous my foot. I just don't want you to go off and get all—bigheaded." After making this statement in a lower, calmer tone, the half demon again crossed his arms and let his eyes slide closed.
Kagome put her hands on her hips and glared down at him so icily that even Shippo, who was in no danger as of then, cowered behind InuYasha, who didn't even have his eyes open to see the glower aimed for him.
"And what do you mean by that?" she demanded.
"You know," InuYasha said, and then opened his eyes to look at her like someone would look at a mental child. "The demons and guys in this time like that demon and Kouga may throw themselves at your feet, but that doesn't make you different from the rest. They'll throw themselves at anyone's feet, long as they're not guys themselves."
Kagome's glare hardened. "What's your point?"
"Well, I can't let you go around thinking that you're better than anyone else, just because the scum in this time think you may be attractive because you wear a skirt instead of pants!"
Kagome paused, her expression melting into a passive, neither gentle nor hard look of understanding. "And you're saying that I'm not attractive."
InuYasha crossed his arms again. "Not anymore than all the other wenches in this time."
He closed his eyes hard, tightening the muscles in his arms and chest, wincing against that all too familiar pull down to the earth that he was sure awaited him. Any second now, Kagome would say that wretched incantation that sent him hurtling to the ground… any second now.
…Aaany second now.
Instead, the sound of bicycle wheels squeaking away.
InuYasha let his guard down without thinking too much of it. "Huh? Kagome?"
Kagome snapped her head back sharply to look at him.
"Aren't you going to sit me?"
"Please, InuYasha," Kagome snapped, turning back to look in front of her. "I'm more mature than that."
InuYasha opened his mouth to retort, but soon closed it again, and gave a few moments of silent gratitude to the human, beginning to regret what he'd said, although he couldn't tell her the truth… although, unless she was completely incompetent, she had put two and two together by then.
"Wait!" he cried, suddenly. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" He stood and stepped towards her.
"I'm going back to my own time!" she called from a good ten yards away.
"You can't just leave! We still have things to do! You can't just--"
She continued on, as if unable to hear him.
The three unfortunate companions the two were traviling with sighed heavily as InuYasha ranted animatedly about the quarrel. Their reactions followed a similar pattern. The first day, try to talk reason into him. The second, try to reassure him that Kagome would be over it by the time she returned. The third day, offer Ah's and I see's here and there as he recounted the argument and why he of course, was completely right, and she was at fault. And the fourth and on, knock sense into him.
Miroku stuck his staff in front of InuYasha's legs, sending him tumbling down from the pacing pattern he was trapped in. Normally he'd be able to catch himself, but the jumble his mind was in didn't exactly do wonders for his reactions.
"You're being obnoxious," Sango snapped. "If you'd stop being so self centered, we could have collected two or three more shards in the days we've wasted."
"I don't blame Kagome, anyway!" Shippo said, and, quickly realizing his mistake, lay down on his small back, waiting for InuYasha to finish the next rant that Shippo had just unintentionally provoked as Sango and Miroku tried to idle themselves in other ways, by starting and tending to the lively fire. Not one of the four heard Kagome's bicycle approaching over InuYasha's sermon, and InuYasha had even been too wrapped up in it to recognize her scent.
"Hi, guys, how's it going?" she said, merrily, sitting down beside Shippo and Kirara. "I brought dinner." She reached into her bag, pulling out enough instant ramen to go around, and piling them up in the center of the circle. "I left home early, so I missed dinner. I could eat a cow!" she stated, too happily for comfort, as she pulled an apple out of her bag and bit into it viciously.
The members of the circle fell silent for a moment, all staring and watching her pull the unlucky fruit apart, each knowing she was probably imagining it was InuYasha's head.
She looked up, rosy cheeked and embarrassed, though her voice told otherwise. "Well? Eat!"
As if at gunpoint, the remaining four grabbed their small packages.
"I'm in such a good mood," Kagome announced cheerily, "I don't think anything could bring me down."
"Forgive and forget, then, hm?" InuYasha mumbled into his ramen.
"What?" Kagome asked, over-acting considerably. "Oh! You mean the fight." She laughed loudly, causing Miroku and Shippo to scoot slightly away from her as if in fear she may explode. She waved it off with her hand, saying, "I'd forgotten about that until you just brought it up. Of course it's forgiven. Oh, that reminds me!"
She turned and dug into her bag, scrambling around for something cautiously, and finally producing a small, white stuffed animal dog with pointy ears, just like InuYasha's. She tossed it to him.
"I saw that in a little gift shop and it made me think of you. I named it Inu Junior – I even had it labeled! Just for you!" she announced happily, clapping her hands together.
InuYasha, thoroughly confused, examined the small stuffed dog. Turning it on its side, he discovered that it indeed did have the name Inu Junior sewn into the side.
"It's just a token of my appreciation. I wanted to apologize for being so senseless the other day! Of course you were right, InuYasha. But then, when aren't you?" she laughed animatedly.
After a few long moments of her loud, fake laugh, Miroku nudged InuYasha's rib sharply, and the hanyou coughed out a confused ad wary "uh, thanks."
Kagome reached across the circle, with her palm face up, confusing InuYasha along with everyone else seated. After a moment, he tentatively placed the doll back in her hands.
"You know," she said, tossing her apple core to the ground and standing up. "This dog just looks so intelligent. Doesn't it?"
The members of the circle nodded cautiously.
"I bet that you could teach it all kinds of tricks. Don't you think so? InuYasha?"
InuYasha's eyes widened at his being singled out. "Err—sure, if it were real."
Kagome nodded and turned away from the group, still holding the little animal close to her face in feigned admiration. "Yep. I bet I could teach it anything with a little patience. I could teach it to beg, or to speak, or to roll over…" She sighed happily.
"Or to sit…"
The beads around InuYasha's neck forcibly jerked him to the ground, almost snapping his neck in the force, the impact causing a large InuYasha shaped hole in the ground, and sending a cloud of dust into the air, leaving him disoriented, barely able to get back on his feet. He opened his mouth to yell at Kagome, but didn't have the time to.
"Mmhmm," Kagome said, happily. "I'm sure it's smart enough to sit. It's just common training isn't it? Sitting. You know, I read once, that if you can't at least teach your dog to sit, then you're not a good trainer at all. But teaching a dog to sit can't be all that difficult, can it? All you'd have to say was sit boy, and then just hope that he sits, right? So simple. And this dog is so intelligent, too. I'm sure I could have him sitting in no time flat!"
With every incantation, InuYasha was hurled deeper into the ground. Every time took him by surprise, every one of those brutal sits. Each time he'd open his mouth in an attempt to cry out for mercy, only resulting in, when the command came, his mouth getting crammed full of dirt. All he could do was whine and regret what he'd said before.
By this point, Shippo, Miroku and Sango were rolling around with laughter, the thought of telling Kagome to stop not crossing their mind once. In their minds, this more than covered payback for his making them listen to all of his farfetched rants.
"I hear some breeds are easier to teach sit to than others. And the commands of sit can change as well. Some people say sit boy, some sit girl, some people yell sit some people say sit firmly, some people say sit calmly. But that must all be exhausting! After all that work, I'd probably have to just sit down and take a nice, long rest. Ahh. Wouldn't a nice sit be refreshing once in a while? Maybe we should start taking breaks more often, just to sit and talk. It'd be nice sitting time. We could call it sit time! Wouldn't that be fun? Sitting?"
InuYasha let out a cry when Kagome paused to take a breath.
"What do you think, InuYasha?" she asked politely, turning around to face the half demon, who was mostly buried by the dirt and debris he'd forced up in the process of being tortured. She finally gave way to her true feelings, crossing her arm, glaring, and saying the last incantation in a deep growl that'd even have Naraku heading for the hills. "Had enough sitting?"
InuYasha groaned frustratedly in response, letting out a grunt that sounded something like, "Damn you."
"What a refreshing chat!" Kagome said, her faux joyfulness switching back on as InuYasha attempted to pull himself from his grave like hole. "I hope we can do it more often! Oops, before I forget, here's Inu Junior," she said, tossing the now sinister seeming stuffed dog back to InuYasha. "Let's do it again soon. Alright!" she reached down and picked up her bag, walking over to the small hut the travelers made a temporary home in. "See you next sit time!"
The final jerk again took InuYasha by surprise, and it took him longer this time to pull himself out of the hole. "Haave merrcyy!" he begged, coughing out dirt and lumps of whatever else had found its way inside of his mouth.
He silently promised himself never to anger Kagome again, in perfect knowledge of the fact that he'd probably break the promise within twenty-four hours. He made another promise to himself that he knew he'd never break as soon as he lived:
When she takes out Inu Junior, run!
I only wish I could have had a stronger ending... unfortunately my brain failed to produce such a thing.
Anyway, hope you liked it! Review, and you may see more!